Subject: Philadelphia Phillies

• Hanley Ramirez Is Just Like You, Except More Awesome

  June 11, 2008

• Dan Uggla Is The God of Thunder

  June 12, 2008

• Marlins' VandenHurk Throws No Hitter! (Not Really)

  July 23, 2008

• The Marlins Believe You’re Just Being Silly If You Think Any Lead Is Safe Against Them

  July 29, 2008

• Manny Ramirez a Marlin? -- UPDATED

  July 31, 2008

• Marlins Upgraded to a Category 5 Shitstorm

  September 3, 2008

• We Won The World Series

  October 30, 2008

• Leas on Life

  June 2, 1993

• Philly's Dr. Dog Brings Swirly Sunshine Sounds to Culture Room

  February 19, 2009

• Feels Like the Last Time

  Out of contention, the Marlins look to play spoiler once again.

  September 18, 2008

• Fear the Comeback Kids

  The Marlins lead the league in come-from-behind wins.

  August 7, 2008

• Never Say Die

  The Marlins keep beating each other up, and they like it that way.

  July 31, 2008

• Super Rivalry

  Another Super Saturday, another shot at taking the NL East lead.

  July 17, 2008

• Canes Got Sugar

  June 19, 2008

• Hot Fish

  Hey, the Marlins are in first place! That’s right!

  May 1, 2008

• Meet the Mets, Beat the Mets

  March 27, 2008

• Extra Innings

  June 2, 2005

• Who Ordered the Marlin Roll?

  April 23, 2009

• Blame It on the Boogie

  August 30, 2007

• Thanks for the Fish

  September 28, 2006

• Patriotic Pastimes

  April 5, 2007

• We have Mets, the Enemy

  April 12, 2007

• Phillyphilia

  May 17, 2007

• Wind Beats Rocks

  July 26, 2007

• Who's in First?

  July 22, 2004

• Letters from the Issue of November 6, 2003

  November 6, 2003

• Play Ball!

  March 27, 2003

• El Lanzador

  April 18, 2002

• Meet the Florida Marlins, er, Riddlers

  April 11, 2002

• Best Baseball Camp

  May 17, 2001

• Striking out on his own

  July 29, 1999

• Three Strikes and It's Out

  June 24, 1999

• It's Unbelievable: Marlins Are 11-1

  Deep breaths, people, deep breaths.Yes, the Florida Marlins have the best record in the MLB. Yes, we're 11-1. Not to be a Debbie Downer, though, it's worth noting six of those wins come at the expense of the Nationals, who are shaping up to be the 2007 Dolphins of 2009 baseball. But we've also cleaned up against stronger teams such as the Mets and the Braves, so it's not a complete fluke. Our next series kicks off tonight against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Their preseason odds of winning the Worl

  April 20, 2009

• Will the Marlins ever win again?

  Wikimedia CommonsOur win beard is becoming unruly. We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not a mirage and they're not going away," wrote the Daily News' Paul Hagen. "They will be a factor this season." Josh Johnson was untouchable. John Baker was suddenly the best-hitting catcher in basebal

  April 28, 2009

• Rush Limbaugh is Apparently the New Lead Singer of KC and the Sunshine Band

  Rush- er, KC- valiantly burps down a heart attack during his July 4 concert at Landshark Stadium Since 2007, the Marlins have held their "Super Saturday" free concerts after Saturday night home games in a ploy to get people to attend games even if not for the baseball. The concerts sometimes snare an extra 10,000 fans, and KC and the Sunshine Band were last season's biggest draw, so they brought the corporate-disco outfit back for the July 4th postgame show this year. If you've e

  July 6, 2009

• He Is Legend

  July 16, 2009

• Midseason Marlins: Uggh-la, Trade for Branyan, and Here Come the Phillies

  Hanley is one of the best players in the league, but even Batman needs Robin.Dan Uggla has yet to recover from last year's disastrous All-Star game. He committed three errors and struck out three times in that Midsummer Classic. Since that game, he is hitting .227 with 25 homers while striking out 153 times in 152 games.  To put it into perspective, Uggla came into last year's All-Star contest looking like a budding superstar. He had hit .286 and an astonishing&nb

  July 16, 2009

• Phillies' Raul Ibanez: A-Rod Is Green with Envy

  It's Ibanez's world and we're all just trying to live in it.Sitting next to a beautiful woman for 12 hours in first class on an airplane is the perfect situation. You want to avoid boredom, so small-talk is perfectly acceptable. And she can't walk away because she has to remain seated and buckled per airline regulations. Drinks are free, and the movie might even be good. Even if you say something that elicits a slap, the air marshal will probably taser her for being violent on an airplane. Raul

  July 17, 2009

• Marlins Sweep Padres No Thanks to the Offense

  Hanley has been a one-man band and without protection, teams will pitch around him.The Marlins' three game sweep of the Padres couldn't have come at a better time. The Fish had lost three devastating games to the Phillies at home and trailed last year's champions by seven games in the standings. Any more losing streaks, and the Marlins' season could have been over. But terrific pitching, timely hitting, and quality defense against the Padres now means the Mar

  July 23, 2009

• Good News, Bad News

  August 27, 2009

• Nicaraguan Revolution

  September 10, 2009

• Consider Fredi Fingered

  September 17, 2009

• Marlins Pitcher Sean West Doesn't Mind When the Ladies Vomit

  What a day for South Florida sports news! First Dwyane Wade begins the season with a hand to the face, and now Marlins rookie pitcher Sean West -- whose development this season was one of the bright spots in the organization -- has had a night out in Philadelphia to forget. Too bad for him his disgruntled limo driver remembers it all. (And has a photo to prove it.)According to Philly.com, West was partying at G Lounge in Philadelphia this past Saturday night, started a fight, and then inste

  October 7, 2009

• Miami's World Series MVP: A-Rod

  ​As far as I know, there were two Miami boyz playing in the World Series - A-Rod (Westminster) and Raul Ibanez (Sunset) - as well as a lot of Dominicans and others who spend significant time here. Though Hideki Matsui won the MVP -- and he's a Yankee I generally don't despise -- I crown  A-Rod our top guy en la seria mundial. I mean, he's the team leader and started like crap but came on like a pile driver. He batted far under .200 for much of the series, but hustled -- even stole a base

  November 5, 2009

• Counterpoint: A-Rod is Still a Douche

  Jacob KatelA-Rod has portraits of himself as a centaur above his bed. And we all know the centaur is the douchiest of all mythical creatures.​Maybe it's a bad idea to publicly disagree with your boss. But I gotta say, watching this postseason only confirmed my belief that Alex Rodriguez is a world-class douche. It's not just the strangely purple lips or the gingerly smug way that he digs in at bat like he's got diamonds for testicles. What really confirmed my belief that A-Rod is a D-Bag 

  November 5, 2009

• Marlins' Chris Coghlan Wins NL Rookie of the Year

  Photo by Dirk Hansen, via Wikicommons and http://www.flickr.com/people/dirkhansen​It took awhile, but the Marlins finally beat the Philadelphia Phillies this season.Fish rookie outfielder Chris Coghlan won the National League Rookie of the Year Award today, narrowly beating out Phillies pitcher J.A. Happ, according to ABC News.In 128 games this season, Cogs hit .321 with nine home runs and a .390 on-base percentage, providing the spark at the top of the lineup that had previously been missing.

  November 16, 2009