Pets

Pit Bulls Make For Great Babysitters (If You Want to Get Arrested)

It's a damn shame that pit bulls are banned in Miami-Dade County, because in the rest of the state they're the hot new babysitting trend. Forget teenage girls with braces. A pit bull is never going to eat all your chips, charge pay-per-view movies to your cable bill, or sneak her boyfriend in after ... More >>

Florida Man Arrested After Four Kittens Found In His Freezer

Rodney J. Blanchard had a guest over at his home whom he asked to get a beer out of the freezer. When the woman opened the ice box door instead of finding brewskies, she found four small kittens. Blanchard, a 49-year-old St. Petersburg resident, has now been arrested on four charges of animal cruelt ... More >>

Cute Overload

University of Florida Has Been Overtaken by Feral Cats

The University of Florida's Gainesville campus is starting to resemble the smelly apartment of an old cat lady. The school has been overtaken by more than 100 feral cats, and it's ignited a war on campus over what to do with them. While the school current's policy could lead to many of the cats bein ... More >>

Art Bitches

Pick A Pet

Pit Bull Ban Lives On in Miami-Dade As Repeal Falls One Vote Short in Tallahassee

​A full month before the season kicks off, Mark Buehrle is close to taking his first loss in Miami. The new Marlins ace is celebrity spokesman number one for pit bulls and the activists trying to overturn Miami-Dade's two-decade ban on the dog breed. Along with his wife, he's vocally pushed for la ... More >>

Seven Reasons Your Cat Hates The Internet

​They're snuggly. They're snooty. They're hilarious. Is it any wonder our Internet tubes are clogged with cats? They're like a living, breathing, addictive substance -- one huff, and you become a raging Elmyra: "I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever!"We estimate that for more than a ... More >>

Miami-Dade's Pit Bull Ban May Finally End With Bills in Florida Senate and House

​When the Miami Marlins splashed $58 million last month to land ace Mark Buehrle, diehard Fish fans weren't the only ones celebrating. Pit bull advocates in the Florida's only county that bans the breed also did cartwheels, because Buehrle -- who owns a pit bull named Slater and lamented publicly ... More >>

PurebredBreeders.com Accused By Humane Society Of Selling Sick Dogs From Puppy Mills

via Purebredbreeders.com​From its South Florida headquarters, Purebredbreeders.com matches up thousands of pet lovers around the country every week with purebred puppies through a "network of responsible and professional dog breeders" that sell "happy and healthy" canines, according to the company ... More >>

Ruffing It

Five Teacup Puppies Stolen from Bird Road Pet Store

​Five teacup puppies, valued at a total of $4,100 and countless immeasurable units of adorableness, were snatched from the Puppy Dream pet store on Bird Road this weekend. The store's cameras caught an unidentified woman committing the unspeakable crime of grand theft cute.

Watch the Premiere Episode of LeBron James' Cartoon Show

​It's been a busy few days for LeBron James: he became a minority owner of one of the biggest soccer team in the world, his mom got arrested, he lost to the Bucks last night, and now the premiere episode of his animated YouTube series, The LeBrons, has hit the web. Check out the show, and it's pos ... More >>

Disease Epidemic Forces Miami-Dade Animal Services to Temporarily Suspend Many Services

​Following an outbreak of infectious diseases in the animal shelter, Miami-Dade Animal Services has announced that they will temporarily suspend numerous services for "no more than two weeks, effective immediately." The shelter will no longer accept the intake of any new dogs. Most stray dog pick- ... More >>

More Than Half of America's Pets are Fat

​America's ever expanding weight problem: not just for humans anymore!According to The Wall Street Journal, more than 50 percent of America's pet cats and dogs are now considered overweight, with about one fifth considered obese. You guys, despite what the comic page says, you are NOT actually sup ... More >>

Puppies R Love sells sick canines

Three More Cases of Miami Beach Hookworm Blamed on Cat Poop

​Feral cats using the sands of Miami Beach as a giant communal litter box has led to an increasing outbreak of hookworm. The Miami-Dade Department of Health has confirmed that three new cases of hookworm have appeared in humans. Great, we've now got hookworm, cholera and dengue fever war ... More >>

Breed to Kill

Miami Pit Bull Owners Plan Broward Get-Together This Weekend To Protest Ban

In this week's New Times, you read about how difficult it is for police to break up brutal dog-fighting rings -- even with tough new laws on the books. Unless cops see a fight in person, as they did in a Miami case, they rarely get the conviction.via Miami Coaltion Against Breed Specific Legislation ... More >>

No More Raw Milk at Florida Whole Foods, the Company Explains Their Decision, Kind Of

via wikimedia​Cooked milk, get your cooked milk.Whole Foods Market has officially dropped raw milk from its shelves in Florida.Raw Milk is milk that has not been pasteurized or homogenized. Pasteurization is a heating process meant to kill bacteria, and homogenization is the process of making the ... More >>

Cesar Canine Cuisine Invades Miami and Gives Your Dog an Intimate Restaurant Experience

via chinadaily.comOh no I couldn't possibly finish. Have the waiter bring me a doggy bag.​Next time your bitch starts complaining about a lousy meal treat her like a pimp (or pimpette) and slap her with a rolled up newspaper, (that goes for your son of a bitch too). Or you could take her out and s ... More >>

Red Tape Entangles a Canine-Lovin' Samaritan

Wikimedia CommonsRed tape makes this puppy sad.Robbie Coy, founder of Homestead's Sabbath Memorial Dog Rescue operation, includes in his adoption contracts a clause stating that the new owners cannot leave the animals leashed outside. So inn November, 2007, when Coy was driving by an adopter's home ... More >>

Decoding Woof

Pit Bull Lovers Fight Miami-Dade's Ban, Hustle Dogs To Broward

Mary is a 38-year-old stay at home mom. She loves animals. And, in the eyes of Miami-Dade Animal Services, she's a criminal.via Wikimedia CommonsThat's because Miami-Dade is Death Row for pit bulls, thanks to a 20-year-old county-wide law banning the whole breed. Animal Services kills hundreds of pi ... More >>

Magic City Kitty - Can I Have Doggie Sex?

Hello, Kitty I am a 51-year-old housewife; my husband is the same age and I love him to death. But we rarely have sex. We just recently adopted a Japanese Akita from friends who were moving out of state, and he's really a handful. He's completely hyperactive and shows his affection by grabbing hold ... More >>

Kitty Goes to the Dogs

Middle-age housewife wants to screw the pooch.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

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Local animal rescuer opens her home to unwanted pets

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Bad Neighbors and Dead Dogs

The county's animal shelter is plagued by old problems, but retaliation would be a new one

Jest in Show

Best in Show -- you've seen the movie, now here's the real thing!

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Triumph of De Vil

Young pups learn new tricks as sequel 102 Dalmatians hits the spots

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Dog Charm Pet Grooming

Dog Bites Man, Man Shoots Dog

A Miami cop and a Morningside resident differ about who's to blame for the death of a pet

War and Peacocks

A squabble between two South Dade neighbors has the feathers flying

War and Peacocks

A squabble between two South Dade neighbors has the feathers flying

Letters

A Mutt Above

Overheard in a local schoolyard: "I'll trade you a Kirby Puckett rookie card for a Kirby the Cocaine Canine"