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Drake, Miguel, and Future Announce 2013 North American Tour, Coming to Miami

As Drizzy Drake himself likes to brag: "Started from the bottom, now we're here." Just a year and a half ago (even after the radio rap glory of his sophomore album, Take Care, and massive singles like "The Motto"), the YMCMB member was still "drinkin' with his people" in mid-sized venues. But "no ... More >>

Miamians Share Their Soda Pairings: Jupiña With Fritas, Materva and Cubanos

Red with beef, white with chicken, root beer with bacon cheeseburgers ... wait, what? You're familiar with wine pairings, and you may even be familiar with beer pairings, but we're willing to bet that soda pairings is a foreign concept. Burger King introduced soda pairings as a concept a while bac ... More >>

Meet the 2013 Miami Marlins! A Position-By-Position Analysis of Baseball's Worst Lineup

Step right up, meet your 2013 Miami Marlins, same as the 2012 Miami Marlins -- only completely different! If you're anything like me, you're angry, you're hurt, and you may or may not say to yourself during a jog, "Hey, that's a good place to hide a body named Jeffrey Loria!" But hear me out, we got ... More >>

The Screwball Economics of Major League Baseball

As another season begins, MLB faces an unsustainable future — and you're picking up the tab.

Poll: Americans Like Coke More Than Beer; Republicans Think Olive Garden is "Authentic Italian"

There are a lot of issues Democrats and Republicans differ on: abortion, Obamacare, Sarah Palin's IQ. But food? According to a new poll by Public Policy Polling, party lines extend all the way to edibles. Released Wednesday, the national poll reveals American attitudes on everything from favorite m ... More >>

Mountain Dew Breakfast Beverage: How Bad is It?

Soft drink powerhouse PepsiCo has announced the launch of a new breakfast beverage by Mountain Dew.Kickstart is being touted as an "entirely new beverage," which is sort of not true. The beverage, which blends juice and the favorite soda of hyped-up children and frat boys everywhere, actually starte ... More >>

Super Bowl: Best Deals and Contests for the Big Game (Video)

The big game is only a few days away, and with it comes a host of marketing opportunities, commercials, promotions, contests, and giveaways. Each year, execs at major food and beverage companies wrack their brains for ways to get you, the consumer, to laugh, cry, and pull out your wallet before, dur ... More >>

New York, Listen Up: Top Five "Healthy" Sodas, From Cola to Lychee

In light of the New York ban and ensuing bruhaha, we must admit: there is no such thing as a completely healthy soda. But there are much healthier alternatives than those BPA-laden cans full of phosphate fizzies pumped full of high fructose corn syrup and caramel coloring.The ingredients in regular ... More >>

Five Reasons Publix Isn't the Best Grocery Store Ever

Like Coke versus Pepsi or McDonald's versus Burger King, some business battles will be waged forever. After all, people have strong opinions about what they put in their pie-hole. The same goes for supermarkets. Some people are die-hard Whole Foods junkies; others (as former Northeasterners know) ... More >>

South Beach Wine & Food Festival Announces 2013 Food Truck Lineup

Now that Art Basel is over, it's time to start focusing on the imminent arrival of the South Beach Wine and Food Festival, which takes over our fair city February 21-24, 2013.One of our favorite events last year was Trucks on the Beach, hosted by Travel Channel's Andrew Zimmern. Last year's official ... More >>

Madonna at the American Airlines Arena November 19 and 20

Madonna's Top Ten NSFW Moments

Madonna is a dirty, old lady. And though she wasn't always old, the Queen of Pop has been a hot and proud taboo-smashing slut from birth. Even before becoming famous, Ms. Madonna Louise Ciccone was making thought-provoking egg porn. She's also burned through an insanely long line of famous and u ... More >>

Frog in Your Salad? Five Gross Things Discovered in Florida Foods

If the South is the Bible Belt, Florida is the Bizarre Belt. With entire blogs and news sites devoted to the oddities that often occur in our little piece of paradise -- few would argue that we reign supreme as far as freakishness. And this weirdness, of course, also applies to food. Read also: - D ... More >>

Muse Saves Daniel Craig From SNL, Announces North American Tour With South Florida Show

This past weekend, English alt-rockers Muse had to step up and carry Saturday Night Live after guest host Daniel Craig made it abundantly clear during his monologue that comedy was foreign to him. Watching James Bond deliver punch lines was about as entertaining as a Schindler's List viewing party ... More >>

Top Ten Worst Food Fails Ever

When it comes to our favorite brands, it seems we're more likely to remember the epic successes (Doritos Locos Tacos anyone?) than the equally epic failures. But failures, there are aplenty. Dangerous, disgusting, or just plain absurd, these gastronomic gaffes may be fun to laugh at now, but it wo ... More >>

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>

The Music Industry's Top Ten Corporate Whores

These days, musicians are nothing without high-profile, million-dollar endorsements. You just aren't a winner unless you're shilling soda, makeup, electronics, and your own personal brand of booze. Luckily, today's commercial powerhouses are more entrepreneurial than ever. So they will literally se ... More >>

Ten Reasons Romney Is Too Wimpy an Eater To Be President

Of course I'm not saying what a candidate eats should be the sole factor considered by voters when determining the next president of the United States. That would be crazy. Other things are important too -- like what he drinks, and economic policy and stuff.But character surely plays a role in our e ... More >>

Ten Best Music-Related Things to Do in Miami This Weekend Under $10

WTF, Pepsi? We told you yesterday about PepsiCo's decision to partner up with the estate of Michael Jackson for a "global marketing push." Like a homeless man recycling aluminum cans for a ten-cent refund, the carbonated conglomerate that nearly killed Jacko in 1984 is milking the King of Pop's ... More >>

Michael Jackson Lands Posthumous Deal With Pepsi

Time flies. It's been nearly three years since Michael Jackson died at the hands of Conrad Murray, the result of too much propofol and respiratory arrest. From concerts to network specials, Jackson's death triggered a seemingly endless stream of posthumous tributes. None, however, came in carbon ... More >>

YMCMB Movie: Five Rules for Joining Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, and Birdman's Rich Gang

The Young Money Cash Money Billionaires run every kind of racket. They got the rap game on lock. They got those drank endorsements. They even got that fashion shit. And now they're making movies. In a recent interview with XXL, Birdman confessed there's a blockbuster in the works starring the whol ... More >>

Nicki Minaj Announces Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded Tour With Miami Show on July 24

Earlier today, Nicki Minaj announced 14 North American dates for her worldwide summer tour in support of new album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded. "When I 1st started this shit there were a few cities/states I'd play ALL the time. Always showed luv," she tweeted. "Rlly wanted to get u guys for summer. ... More >>

Jonathan Waxman's Mexican Passover at Rosa Mexicano

Is Jonathan Waxman's haroset better than Bubbi's? Find out for yourself at Rosa Mexicano's with a Mexican-themed Passover menu that covers gefilte fish and beef brisket for a true taste of home (sounds super Koshereth). This is the restaurant's 10th annual celebration of the holiday, launching Frida ... More >>

Nicki Minaj Is Not Down With Coke, Signs Seven-Figure Deal With Pepsi

Just one week removed from PepsiCo's announcement that Lil Wayne would become the face of Mountain Dew, the multinational corporation's love affair with Young Money talent just became a threesome. Forbes is reporting that Nicki Minaj has singed a "massive," multimillion-dollar deal with Pepsi to be ... More >>

Fairly Nostalgic

Lil Wayne Sells Mountain Dew, Six Others Rappers Who Love Soft Drinks

​Fueling the obesity epidemic and enabling the Young Money Maniac's sizzurp addiction, PepsiCo's toxic green nectar, Mountain Dew, has a new spokesperson and his name is Lil Wayne. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. and Mountain Dew have come together to form DEWeezy, ... More >>

LeBron James Promotes Pork Donuts and Ice Cream in China

​It may be the best athlete food endorsement since "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Slim Jim, or it could be the worst since Mike Tyson and Pepsi, but Dunkin' Brands Inc. announced Monday that LeBron James will promote pork donuts, among other products, in China and elsewhere in Southeast Asia, accord ... More >>

Super Bowl Food Ads: Cookies For Breakfast, Coke, and The Soup Nazi

Coca-ColaThe Coke bears are back in time for the big game.​Can Super Bowl Sunday be the only day of the year in which we actually look forward to commercials? Each year, advertisers fall all over themselves trying to top each other for ratings, consumer approval and a coveted Clio award.  Adv ... More >>

The Ten Sexiest Super Bowl Commercials Of All Time

​At the end of this week, two hordes of men who have suffered, bled, and fought for five months will meet on a neutral site to bash each others' heads in, to test the limits of their physical strength and stamina, all in the name of sport, conquest, and achieving the status of legend.But who cares ... More >>

Seven Seriously Tragic Celebrity Commercials

​The state of Texas has bestowed upon this country many cultural delights: SXSW, phenomenal barbecue, and most importantly, Gary Busey. The man has the greatest set of teeth in history (they're perfect to Photoshop on sharks), and he's decided to use them to give back to the great state of his bir ... More >>

Daddy Yankee Does the "Lovumba" at 90 Degree in Miami on December 10

​It's been five full years since Time Magazine named Daddy Yankee to its list of the 100 most influential people on the planet. And using the mag's metaphor, the recording industry's registers were ringing like mad over reggaeton in 2006. "Yankee has sold 2 million copies of his album Barrio ... More >>

Goya Foods' Frank Unanue Hates Malta, Loves Both Beans and New $44 Million Distribution Center

​Yesterday, after 18 months of construction and $44 million, Goya Foods opened a huge new distribution facility in West Miami-Dade to send goods to Latin America and beyond. One of those present was president of Florida operations, Frank Unanue, a member of the family that owns the nation's larges ... More >>

X Factor's Ten Stupidest Faces: Tears, Hysterics, and More Tears From Last Night's Episode

You ever watch Beaches with your mom or Titanic with a girlfriend? Those weepy bitches have nothing on X Factor's contestants and judges. The entire show is just people crying and being inspirational and then crying again. Last night, tryouts ended and boot camp began. Once the finalists are chosen ... More >>

Sakaya Kitchen's Richard Hales Expands His Empire; Truck Tracker for Tonight

Dim Ssäm à Gogo, Hales's first food truck, is set to make new friends.​Since opening Sakaya Kitchen in December 2009, chef/entrepreneur Richard Hales has made quite a name for himself. The restaurant won numerous awards and accolades including Best Healthful Fast Food by New Times and one of the ... More >>

Pickle Juice to Bass-O-Matic: Ten Weirdest Movie and TV Drinks

Get your popcorn ready.​With genius work like "Bad Teacher," and "Big Brother 13" on the screen, we at Short Order think you need a drink. So check out the top ten weirdest, most outlandish, and highest "grossing" drinks in movie history.

Venezuelan Hip-Hoppers Cuarto Poder Kick Off US Tour Tonight at PAX

​When someone says Venezuela, you probably don't immediately think hip-hop. After all, the South American nation has long been knows for its salsa. Oh, and a strange, insane little dictatorial ferret who's more than just a little bit acquainted with Castro's backside.But don't tell Cuarto Poder th ... More >>

Dick Dale and Laramie Dean at the Vagabond June 12

Dick Dale the King of Surf Guitar Talks Blowouts, Wipeouts, and Animal Screams

​Warning: Just five minutes with 74-year-old surf rocker Dick Dale and his infamous Fender Strat could cause spilled Mai Tais, random outbreaks of retro dance moves (e.g. the Swim or Splashin' Round), and lifelong hearing loss. But that doesn't mean Dick's a brutal dude. In fact, he's basically ... More >>

Frost art exhibit explores Big Macs and Mao

Nanotechnology: "The Next Big Controversy in Food"

Michael Passoff, activist and one of 2009's "100 Most Influential People in Business Ethics."​What is nanotechnology? Michael Passoff, a senior strategist with shareholder activist group As You Sow, recently wrote an article about nanotechnology and its use in food manufacturing. "Nanotech is alre ... More >>

Miami-Dade County Fair Opens Today, Time For Fair Food

Miami-Dade County Fair​The Miami-Dade County Fair & Exposition opens today and runs through April 3. The Fair is celebrating it's 60th birthday this year and over half a million people are expected to show up for this 18-day long party. Attractions at the fair include a circus, live tige ... More >>

SBWFF 2011: The Unofficial Short Order Burger Bash Awards

Photo by Riki AltmanNo we're not all professionally trained in the culinary arts like those who handed out the official honors last night, but we know our way around food and the celebrities who hawk it. Therefore we deem ourselves qualified to bestow upon last night's Burger Bash entrants the follo ... More >>

Kings Versus Kings

Starbucks Revamps Logo, Eliminates the Word "Coffee"

Courtesy of StarbucksStarbucks new look. Where did the coffee go?​What's in a logo and packaging? Everything. Pepsi learned that lesson the hard way when it redesigned the look of Tropicana. Consumers and the media immediately pounced on the change, pointing out the switch from the iconic carton d ... More >>

Cuban punk rockers Gorki and Gil used music to take on Castro

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