Subject: Paris Hilton

• Shine On, You Crazy Diamond

  May 15, 2008

• Primal Instincts

  September 6, 2007

• King No More

  June 28, 2007

• The Party Crasher – Paris Hilton Spreads her Scent

  December 6, 2007

• Ron Jeremy, Adult Video Awards and a Chest Autograph

  December 6, 2007

• The Party Crasher – Busta Rhymes Has Mansion in Check

  December 9, 2007

• Over the Weekend - Basel, Busta, Riley and Chavez

  December 10, 2007

• Joe Garcia Follows in McCain's Celebrity Attack Ad Footsteps

  September 24, 2008

• Why Would Anyone Want to be Paris' BFF?

  October 1, 2008

• The Goods Fella

  October 28, 2004

• Aging Hip

  May 19, 2005

• Sweet Berries Without the Thorns

  December 29, 2005

• You Know What The World Needs More Of? Luxury Hotels!

  via PR NewswireWe know Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with the management of the hotel company that bears her family name, but sometimes you have to wonder. In the midst of the latest, greatest depression and economic free fall you might expect any new hotel plans to include cots, a soup kitchen, and group showers. Instead, Hilton Hotels Corp is launching a new line of luxury pads called Denizen Hotels, and is already working on plans to bring one to Miami. "Denizen hotels, a lifesty

  March 10, 2009

• News Roundup

  Local:The VA hospital, which might have accidentally exposed some of its patients to infectious diseases, gave itself a clean bill of health in January. [Herald]In some Homestead zip codes, as many as 25 percent of the houses are in foreclosure. The AP says it is the biggest disaster to hit the area since Hurricane Andrew. [AP]Henry Johnson, a former Miami Beach planner, is heading to jail for taking bribes. [Herald]Sports:The Miami Heat just got straight-up embarrassed by the Chicago Bulls, 106

  March 27, 2009

• During WMC The Techno Stops For No One, Not Even Paris Hilton

  via Wikimedia CommonsHey, have you heard there's this music event in town, with all these DJs who take dance and electronic music pretty seriously? It's probably one of the biggest weeks in the year for their industry, and it would really be best if you don't go up to them and ask them to play some Madonna or Black Eyed Peas. In fact, it's just best you don't offer any suggestions at all, and leave the song selection to the professional. Well, no one told Paris Hilton, who really has no grasp on

  March 27, 2009

• Paris Hilton's Body Guard Allegedly Attacked DJ Steve Angello First

  via Wikimedia Commons/Bias RecordingsAs earlier reported, Paris Hilton went to Radar Online with some sob story about how she got pushed by a body guard because a mean ol' DJ wouldn't stop his techno and play some hip-hop for her. She then claimed the bodyguard left whatever boyfriend she has at the moment with a bloody lip.  Of course, we wouldn't expect Radar Online or Paris Hilton to realize it's Winter Music Conference, which is pretty much the most important dance music festival in Ame

  March 27, 2009

• The Week That Was: We Decided To Be A Celebrity Tabloid

  There were lots of whores, of various kinds, in the news this week. Riptide usually tries to stay away from the celebrity gossip stuff, unless it's amazing. It seems that fate has sent us lots of amazing celeb gossip this week:Paris Hilton tried to get a House/Techno DJ to stop playing House and Techno during the biggest Techno and House event in America, then told everyone she got pushedThen in a RIPTIDE EXCLUSIVE we found out that Paris Hilton's body guard ended up smacking the DJ upside the h

  March 27, 2009

• Think Inside the Box

  July 6, 2006

• Paris Is Yearning

  April 10, 2008

• Marilyn's First

  December 30, 2004

• Mickey Avalon

  January 10, 2008

• Movin’ Out

  June 15, 2006

• Paparazzi’s Wet Dream

  November 30, 2006

• The Red String Club

  January 4, 2007

• This Shot’s For You

  May 17, 2007

• Hanging With Mr. Cooper

  May 17, 2007

• Living Hilarious

  June 14, 2007

• High Style, Low Prices

  July 5, 2007

• Now Playing

  June 21, 2007

• Blowfly

  May 24, 2007

• Not So Haute Dogs

  December 28, 2006

• Hater Blockers

  August 3, 2006

• Glamour, Parties, and Oh Yes, Art

  December 1, 2005

• Various Artists

  November 3, 2005

• BEST NEW TREND

  May 12, 2005

• BEST READING SERIES

  May 12, 2005

• It Isn't Easy Being Fabulous

  December 16, 2004

• Resident Ego

  October 21, 2004

• Float On

  August 26, 2004

• BEST DANCE CLUB

  May 13, 2004

• Rules of Subtraction

  March 25, 2004

• Where's Paris?

  December 18, 2003

• French Tickler

  November 20, 2003

• Kardashian Spinoff Set to Infect Miami

  Does reality television even try anymore? Sorry we had to get Perez Hilton on this photo, just couldn't find a picture of just these two we could use. Let's see. Kim Kardashian got famous for being Paris Hilton's temporary Nicole Richie replacement, and then for her gross sex tape with Brandy's little brother. Most normal families would probably disown their daughter for at least a year or so after this, but for some reason the Kardashian clan decided to star in the reality TV masterpiece Keepin

  April 20, 2009

• Breaking News: Paris Hilton Still Dumb, Comically So

  The last time Paris Hilton came to town, she asked a respected house producer to play some pop tunes that would better facilitate her table dancing. He refused. The DJ said her posse pushed him, and Hilton lied about it to the tabloids. Now she's back in town, but at the courthouse. In 2006, Paris filmed the criminally underhyped cinematic classic Pledge This! at Barry University. Perhaps some of the blame for the relative obscurity of this revelatory tale of misfit undergrads trying to joi

  May 6, 2009

• News Roundup

  Local The Fontainebleau has decided to tone down its sexy image to attract families. A little less Dirty Hairy, a little more dirty diapers. [Herald] Costumes officials found bottles of "snake wine." Which is basically posionous snakes stuffed inside bottle of alchohol, and then served. [NBCMiami] A Father Cutié article from the Times. Low on new information, but well written. [NYTimes] Do you really want to read a longer, serious article about Paris Hilton being sUed? [AP] The Real Estate ex

  May 7, 2009

• Splish, Splash, Splice

  July 2, 2009

• News Roundup

  MDC's Wolfson Campus will hold a public screening of the Michael Jackson Memorial today. [Herald]Someone went on a car vandalizing spree in Hialeah. [CBS4]Charlie Crist has a pretty humble net worth for a high-profile politician. [NakedPolitics]Meanwhile, Marco Rubio is $900,000 in debt. [NakedPolitics]A new park-and-ride lot will open in Cutler Bay. [SFBJ]Halle Berry is in town, y'all. [BuzzNet]Paris Hilton will be back in a Miami courtroom Thursday as part of her legal tangling with the pr

  July 7, 2009

• A Court Order for Paris: Hilton Guilty of a Deli Lane Double Cheeseburger and BBQ Chicken Sandwich

  Twitter No surprise here folks... It's not the first time party princess Paris Hilton has been guilty of burger debauchery (think Carl's Jr. TV spot!)  This time, the scene of the crime is the Brickell branch of Miami's tame but trusty Deli Lane Cafe, confirms Miami Herald reporter Douglas Hanks via Twitter today.Hanks had earlier tweeted a link to his story on the hotel heiress's breach-of-contract trial in a federal courthouse downtown:We can report that Hilton's lunch order before she to

  July 14, 2009

• Weekly Wrap Up: The Friday Sauce

  Jacob KatelThis week, the cover of our print product depicts hand sewn, plush, homemade Star Wars dolls. On the web front, Short Order wrote a week's worth of hopefully entertaining, informative, insightful, and humorous posts that had almost nothing to do with the grim realities of life in Miami in the Summer of '09. Here's what you might have missed last week: Crying about the economy? Want some cheese with that whine? A slideshow of the 14th annual International Mango Festival. Breakfas

  July 17, 2009