Parenting

What to Expect When You're Expecting: A Disdainful, Demoralizing, Unfunny Film

Romeo Santos at the American Airlines Arena March 1

My Piece of the Pie at Tower Theater through January 19

Bringing Guns Into Child Care Centers: Florida Democrat Realizes That's Probably Not a Good Idea

​Earlier this year, the Republican-controlled Florida legislature passed an NRA-backed law that required all municipal governments to abolish their local gun control laws. Problem is, the state of Florida doesn't exactly have that many gun control laws, so now licensed gun owners across the state ... More >>

Ten Arrested After Liberty City SWAT Showdown Involving Children

​An intense scene broke out last night at Northwest 62nd Street and 19th Avenue near Liberty City as a SWAT team was called in to negotiate with ten armed suspects who had barricaded themselves in a house. Two young children were also involved in the incident.

Potent Life Metaphors

​An intense scene broke out last night at Northwest 62nd Street and 19th Avenue near Liberty City as a SWAT team was called in to negotiate with ten armed suspects who had barricaded themselves in a house. Two young children were also involved in the incident.

Paulina Rubio Arrested After Screaming "All of You Miami Cops Are Abusive"

​Singer Paulina Rubio has continued her string of alleged odd behavior. The Mexican singer was involved in a car accident this weekend in Little Havana, which lead to an arrest after a hysterical confrontation with police. However, she was let go in order to go home and breastfeed her young son.

Send Your Kids to Florida's Tea Party Summer Camp

Sorry, baby, those Bush-era adjustable doll house mortgages really screwed us all. ​Are you a faithful member of the Tea Party? Are you worried that your kids, little Ronnie and Reagan, aren't fully committed to your political cause? Well, why not have them stay with a relative in Tampa for a week ... More >>

S'mores and More

Sorry, baby, those Bush-era adjustable doll house mortgages really screwed us all. ​Are you a faithful member of the Tea Party? Are you worried that your kids, little Ronnie and Reagan, aren't fully committed to your political cause? Well, why not have them stay with a relative in Tampa for a week ... More >>

Mayor Luther Campbell would tax strippers for the public good

Sorry, baby, those Bush-era adjustable doll house mortgages really screwed us all. ​Are you a faithful member of the Tea Party? Are you worried that your kids, little Ronnie and Reagan, aren't fully committed to your political cause? Well, why not have them stay with a relative in Tampa for a week ... More >>

Miami Could Be The First Wave In A Stripper Tsunami

Alex Izaguirre​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke -- who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez -- explains ... More >>

The Brady Bunch Predicted Justin Bieber's Most Embarrassing Moments

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Paramount PicturesThe Biebz rockin' the 3D shades at his biopic premiere.​Justin Bieber is a prepubescent pop star who looks like a butch extra on The L Word. His music is obnoxiously popular and his (hot?) mom's not a big fan of the Jews. Yet des ... More >>

Art Basil

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Paramount PicturesThe Biebz rockin' the 3D shades at his biopic premiere.​Justin Bieber is a prepubescent pop star who looks like a butch extra on The L Word. His music is obnoxiously popular and his (hot?) mom's not a big fan of the Jews. Yet des ... More >>

C.K. and Tired

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Paramount PicturesThe Biebz rockin' the 3D shades at his biopic premiere.​Justin Bieber is a prepubescent pop star who looks like a butch extra on The L Word. His music is obnoxiously popular and his (hot?) mom's not a big fan of the Jews. Yet des ... More >>

Susan Cheever

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Paramount PicturesThe Biebz rockin' the 3D shades at his biopic premiere.​Justin Bieber is a prepubescent pop star who looks like a butch extra on The L Word. His music is obnoxiously popular and his (hot?) mom's not a big fan of the Jews. Yet des ... More >>

Sarah Palin is "The Perfect Feminist" Declares Victoria Jackson

Illustration by Derf​Riptide's favorite hometown SNL star turned wacko tea party songstress, Victoria Jackson, is back writing columns for Andrew Brietbart's Big Hollywood. She's decided Sarah Palin is "the perfect feminist." Unfortunately she doesn't seem to have much of a grasp on what femin ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Awarded Temporary Custody of Children

Every thing seems to be going Dwyane Wade's way in court (judicial, not basketball) lately. First he settled a series of lawsuits with a former business partner, and now he has been awarded temporary sole custody of his two sons in his increasingly ugly divorce with wife Siohvaughn Wade. The ru ... More >>

Pity Party

Every thing seems to be going Dwyane Wade's way in court (judicial, not basketball) lately. First he settled a series of lawsuits with a former business partner, and now he has been awarded temporary sole custody of his two sons in his increasingly ugly divorce with wife Siohvaughn Wade. The ru ... More >>

How to Raise a Comedian

Every thing seems to be going Dwyane Wade's way in court (judicial, not basketball) lately. First he settled a series of lawsuits with a former business partner, and now he has been awarded temporary sole custody of his two sons in his increasingly ugly divorce with wife Siohvaughn Wade. The ru ... More >>

SuperNanny in Miami to Find Weirdo Families

Since swapping your wife will undoubtedly lead to your child taking faux rides in a foil balloon and one of your family members cutting one on Larry King Live, hiring a new millennium Mary Poppins may be a better way to make your foray into reality television. And you just may end up with a hou ... More >>

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Now playing.

Food, Inc. Starts Today

"I gave up the thought of 'reviewing' the film and decided to exhort you: SEE IT. BRING YOUR KIDS IF YOU HAVE THEM. BRING SOMEONE ELSE'S IF YOU DON'T. THE SHEER SCALE OF THE MOVIE IS MIND-BLOWING. IT'S THE DOCUMENTARY EQUIVALENT OF 'THE MATRIX'"--David Edelstein, New York MagazineStarts today at Reg ... More >>

GOP's Twitter Attacks Alex Sink's Working Mom Credentials

The News Service of Florida's article about Alex Sink's appearance at the Jefferson-Jackson dinner this weekend on Miami Beach contains some praise from an unlike source: former Republican Party of Florida chairmen David Johnson.   "The farming background could help in North Florida and th ... More >>

Help the Kids Shake, Rattle, and Roll

The News Service of Florida's article about Alex Sink's appearance at the Jefferson-Jackson dinner this weekend on Miami Beach contains some praise from an unlike source: former Republican Party of Florida chairmen David Johnson.   "The farming background could help in North Florida and th ... More >>

The Most Effective Birth Control We've Seen in a While

In 2007, the Healthy Start Coalition of Miami-Dade reported that certain cultural pockets of Miami-Dade really see no problem with teenage pregnancy. "However, some groups did not acknowledge that teen pregnancy is a problem. Most importantly, they expressed knowledge on frequent births to teen ... More >>

Sarah Palin, Abstinence Only, and Planned Parenthood

In 2007, the Healthy Start Coalition of Miami-Dade reported that certain cultural pockets of Miami-Dade really see no problem with teenage pregnancy. "However, some groups did not acknowledge that teen pregnancy is a problem. Most importantly, they expressed knowledge on frequent births to teen ... More >>

She’s Crafty

Rosie O’Donnell is just our type.

Living Vicariously

No fair that kids get to go to cool summer camps!

Evelyn McDonnell Can't Look Away from Cat Power: The Straight Q&A

No fair that kids get to go to cool summer camps!

One Little Pill -- Just in Case

No fair that kids get to go to cool summer camps!

Older, Wiser, and Wilder

No fair that kids get to go to cool summer camps!

Tit for Tat

No fair that kids get to go to cool summer camps!

DJ Khaled

"Holla at Me" (Koch)

Practice Safe Sex

Miami residents may not be seeking the care they need

Dirty featuring Bun B

Rolie Polie Asylum/Rap-a-Lot

Father Figure

Rolie Polie Asylum/Rap-a-Lot

BEST MATERNITY BOUTIQUE

Mommy's Place

Family Afoul

When you open your heart to foster children, as Joan Andre has done,you also open the door to heartbreak

Call It Dead Serious

And call it seriously funny, too

Flipped Out

And call it seriously funny, too

BEST MATERNITY BOUTIQUE

Meet Me in Miami

How Poor Is Poor?

The government's method of determining who's poor is so outdated that census experts say the poverty picture is much worse than we think

Various Artists

DJ Kicks - Playgroup "Studio K7!"

Buns in the Ovens

A chef's life leaves little room for baby

Best Impromptu Intervention

A chef's life leaves little room for baby

News of the Weird

A chef's life leaves little room for baby

Daddy Dearest

Can the courts order a wronged father to keep quiet? David Ziskind doesn't think so.

Haute Chili

Can the courts order a wronged father to keep quiet? David Ziskind doesn't think so.

First Contact

The Touch Research Institute promotes the laying on of healing hands

Deadbeat Dad

The Touch Research Institute promotes the laying on of healing hands