Ernest Valdes stands on top of the ring's ropes and uses his championship belt as a mirror. He primps into the gold plastic's reflection, making sure his hair -- oil-spill slick with leave-in conditioner -- is perfectly in place. Lil Jon's "Turn Down for What" blasts through the speakers of the Port ... More >>
Nearly a year after the Biogenesis scandal ended with a record round of baseball suspensions, one mystery has lingered. It centers on boxes of medical files that were stolen from the car of whistleblower Porter Fischer, the source behind the New Times story that sparked the whole affair. The files t ... More >>
Lloyd Jackson Jr.'s Valentine's Day went pretty well. His date, Tammy Hamilton, 47, decided to stay the night. It wasn't until he woke up the next morning that he realized that she had stolen his Ford Explorer. And that was only the beginning of his troubles. See, sometimes it is better off to be ... More >>
Of all Florida's many antics, this surely ranks among the craziest. Paraplegic Florida man Shamal Battice arrived at a Ford dealership in Ocala yesterday, looking for a new ride. He wanted to ditch his wheelchair for something a little quicker, he told salesman Anselmo "Chico" Barreto. Barreto didn ... More >>
Porter Fisher, the former Biogenesis employee who provided documents to Miami New Times to help blow open the massive Major League Basbeball PED scandal, stored boxes of documents related to the case in the trunk of his Toyota Camry. This past March, while Fisher was getting a spray tan in Boca Rato ... More >>
Kimberly Noelle Martin just wanted to use the bathroom, but the strong arm of Kangaroo Gas station attendants had different plans. Police were called by an observant Kangaroo employee who noticed a Martin pulling into the station all Crazy Taxi-like with three kids in the backseat.Martin later blew ... More >>
With Miami's luxury market going bananas again and Indian Creek mansions hawking for $47 million a pop, it's easy to forget that the average Dade homeowner is still deeper underwater than James Cameron's submarine. In fact, a new report out this morning says Miami now has the fifth highest rate of f ... More >>
For the past week, rumors regarding the Miami Zombie attack have been going bananas on the Internet. In one version, face-eater Rudy Eugene was infected with something called the LQP-79 virus. A website and YouTube video devoted to the supposed outbreak racked up over 10,000 views in less than 24 ho ... More >>
Talk about an exhibitionist streak. Ashley Holton, 35, was arrested this weekend after she was masturbating on the side of Highway 484 in Ocala, Florida. Her self-pleasuring antics even slowed down traffic on the roadway.Holton didn't seem to mind. She was enjoying herself so much that when a police ... More >>
Remember when actual elected Republicans were all jumping aboard the birther train and openly questioning whether President Barack Obama was actually a natural born U.S. citizen? Then the president presented his longform birth certificate, and that seemed to put an end to it? Well, apparently n ... More >>
"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today," said Popeye's pal Wimpy. He was clearly the smarter of the pair.Burgers these days can be made from anything -- lamb, turkey, pork, tuna, vegetables, ostrich. But as most will agree, the best ones are the classic. Give us a good-size hunk of ... More >>
Charlie Ely says she was forced to take part in Seath Jackson's brutal murder. Disturbing details continue to come out as police try to figure out why four teenagers and a 20-year-old brutally murdered 15-year-old Seath Jackson, burnt his body, and stored his remains in paint cans this past weeke ... More >>
Seath Jackson's Facebook default. Several postings on the Facebook wall of 15-year-old Seath Jackson paint a picture of the heated arguments that may have set the stage for his brutal murder last Sunday near Ocala, Florida. Jackson had apparently been dating 15-year-old Amber Wright, but she brok ... More >>
Florida really is Heaven's waiting room. According to a new study by Portfolio.com, the Sunshine State is by far the most popular destination for retirees, which has major implications as the gigantic baby boomer population continues to enter retirement age. The good news for Miamians who hate ol ... More >>
Trina SargalskiLast Saturday was the first day of the new South Miami Farmers Market. Last Friday, I wrote a post about the market's mission of sourcing local produce, cheese, meat, eggs, and value-added products (jams, salsas, and other prepared foods) from local farms, community gardens, home g ... More >>
The horror. Ugly feet, greed, and Bon Jovi are enough to make anyone dump a mate.
Betrayed by the U.S. government and their own country, they want to be remembered.
John Schmidt will save Danny. Come hell or a good high.
A protester with a history does his business at the Eighth Street monument
The past, present, and future of horse racing are all in South Florida
When it comes to show biz savvy, these I's have it
A South Florida rancher is using bovine diplomacy to improve relations with the island nation
Owner Michael Gill and trainer Mark Shuman, exonerated by lab test, hit back
Altcountry newcomers send a mint julep postcard from Holopaw
Zach Ziskin's return to music has been a long time coming
How to be homeless on Miami Beach
Rep. Carlos Lacasa adds a new chapter to the Sun Tzu classic, set in Miami-Dade County
From the week of February 13, 2002
Miami developer Aristides Martinez once seemed an inner-city savior. Today he goes by another name: Slumlord.
The techno revolution has spawned a new program that unites incarcerated moms and their kids in cyberspace
Clubland king Chris Paciello ain't exactly a Mafia don. But it sure seemed he was headed that way.
Aim giant fans toward the ocean. Irrigate Africa. Fire NOAA. And other paranoid rants from the feds' conceptually challenged file.
A legal battle between developer Ron Bloomberg and Beach officials over the fate of the city's cultural campus has both sides fuming
For the Cuban cowboys of west Miami-Dade, restoring the Everglades means destroying their way of life
Meet Petunia, hearty eater, beloved pet, neighborhood favorite, and a 300-pound pig
Tracking South Florida's endangered crocodiles is a business best left to experts and maniacs
Angel Usategui used to judge paso fino competitions at the highest level. An ethics scandal put an end to that and left him fighting to regain his good name.
Buddha Lou, Chava, Space Hippie, Caveman, Earthman, Yaima, and the rest of the gang get down Sundays in the Grove. Let Them Be.
Leas Campbell, the man who ruled Miami's rock scene throughout the Seventies, is bringing it all back home in the Nineties
Guitarist Steve Morse doesn't let words get in the way