Ocala

Miami Wig Website Is The Luckiest Lil' Media Whore This Week

Luxury Lounge

Mad swag, flaunting felines, and Burger King as haute cuisine

Foxes

Mad swag, flaunting felines, and Burger King as haute cuisine

So Long, Speaker Sansom

In terms of current political scandals, the one engulfing Florida Speaker of the House Ray Sansom has been pretty dull. He wasn't a batshit insane narcissist with crazy helmet hair talking about how Senate seats were "fucking valuable" things. He didn't conspire with the opposition party to install ... More >>

News Roundup

LocalsThis was a depressing weekend full of sad news and pure evil. Like this guy who killed his estranged wife and three others at a party, and then himself. [Herald]Donte Stallworth, an NFL player, hit and killed a construction worker on 195. [AP] Got an exotic pet laying around you don't need any ... More >>

Deal Breakers

The horror. Ugly feet, greed, and Bon Jovi are enough to make anyone dump a mate.

Boom & Bust, Part 2

Stressed sellers scheme and dream.

Bay of Pigs Vets Fight for Home

Betrayed by the U.S. government and their own country, they want to be remembered.

Letters from the Issue of June 14, 2007

"We are led by nonpark professionals in executing a $400 million bond issue"

Letters from the Issue of March 15, 2007

"Your excellent article exposed the ugly truth."

No Horse Race

The past, present, and future of horse racing are all in South Florida

Out to Impress

When it comes to show biz savvy, these I's have it

Steel's the Show

A Southern-style church service is a magnet for eerie, heavenly harmonies

Tourist Trappings

Altcountry newcomers send a mint julep postcard from Holopaw

Belated Passion

Zach Ziskin's return to music has been a long time coming

The Art of War

Rep. Carlos Lacasa adds a new chapter to the Sun Tzu classic, set in Miami-Dade County

Letters to the Editor

From the week of February 13, 2002

The Return of Johnny Bev

Collins Avenue's greatest hits

In Prison and Online

The techno revolution has spawned a new program that unites incarcerated moms and their kids in cyberspace

A Real Blowjob

Aim giant fans toward the ocean. Irrigate Africa. Fire NOAA. And other paranoid rants from the feds' conceptually challenged file.

Letters

Aim giant fans toward the ocean. Irrigate Africa. Fire NOAA. And other paranoid rants from the feds' conceptually challenged file.

A War of Addition

A legal battle between developer Ron Bloomberg and Beach officials over the fate of the city's cultural campus has both sides fuming

The New White Meat

Meet Petunia, hearty eater, beloved pet, neighborhood favorite, and a 300-pound pig

Chomp in the Swamp

Tracking South Florida's endangered crocodiles is a business best left to experts and maniacs

Horse Attitudes

Angel Usategui used to judge paso fino competitions at the highest level. An ethics scandal put an end to that and left him fighting to regain his good name.

Swelter

Angel Usategui used to judge paso fino competitions at the highest level. An ethics scandal put an end to that and left him fighting to regain his good name.

Morse Code

Guitarist Steve Morse doesn't let words get in the way

Dog Bites Man

Miami Police canine units attack first, ask questions later.

Letters from the Issue of November 19, 2009

Miami Police canine units attack first, ask questions later.

WTF Florida: Orlando's Split Pants and Glitter Shine on American Idol, Real Life Batman Arrested

​There's more than enough weird things that happen here in Miami-Dade, but sometimes it seems we're downright sane compared to the rest of Florida. WTF Florida is our new weekly survey of all the weirdness our Peninsula has to offer. American Idol Comes to Mickey Mouse LandAmerican Idol skipped ov ... More >>

In a Democratic Wet Dream, We'd Belong to the State of the Everglades

​It's not exactly uncommon to hear someone floating around the political fantasy of South Florida becoming its own state. Not to say it'd ever actually happen, but c'mon, we all know the rest of Florida is holding us back. Well, a new political map that redraws the United States with the idea ... More >>

Concert Review: A Day to Remember, August Burns Red, Silverstein, Enter Shikari, and Veara at Revolution, March 31

Photo by Andrew WamselyThe show was not sponsored by ADT Home Security​A Day to RememberWith Veara, Enter Shikari, Silverstein, August Burns RedRevolution, Fort LauderdaleWednesday, March 31, 2010Touring acts tend to avoid South Florida because we are not on the way to anywhere -- except rehab. Th ... More >>

Woman Wins $500,000 From Scratch Off Game, Florida Lottery Says It's a Misprint

Imagine winning half a million dollars from a lottery scratch off game, and then imagine the lottery telling you, "whoops, sorry this is a misprint, too bad." That's what happened to Ann Marie Curcio of Ocala. Her Gold Rush ticket told her she had won $500,000 in 2007. She drove all the way up to ... More >>

Charles Bennett Is Called "Krazy Horse" Because He's 100 Percent Normal

C.StilesCharles "Krazy Horse" Bennett Seeks a title and an end to his madness.​When it comes to second chances, Charles Daniel Bennett Jr. will take four, five, six, and however many more he can get. Nicknamed Krazy Horse, the Ocala native has been one of the most scandalous characters to step int ... More >>

Florida Cities Dominate List of "Divorce Capitols;" Miami is Number 26

​Florida's constitution strictly forbids gays from marrying, but what about the Sunshine State's straights? They're obviously doing such a fine job of upholding the sanctity of marriage, right? Apparently not so. The Daily Beast has compiled a list of "the 50 cities with the worst divorce rates," ... More >>

New South Miami Farmers Market's Locavore Bounty in Photos

Trina Sargalski​Last Saturday was the first day of the new South Miami Farmers Market. Last Friday, I wrote a post about the market's mission of sourcing local produce, cheese, meat, eggs, and value-added products (jams, salsas, and other prepared foods) from local farms, community gardens, home g ... More >>

Pay Your Dues and Taxes, Snipes

US Marshals Service ​Wesley Snipes can learn a lot from Martha Stewart. He starts a three-year prison sentence tomorrow in Pennsylvania for tax-related infractions. But rather than accepting his punishment like a man, he bitched to Larry King last night on CNN about how "upset and disappointed tha ... More >>

Shocking Finding: Retirees Love Florida

​Florida really is Heaven's waiting room. According to a new study by Portfolio.com, the Sunshine State is by far the most popular destination for retirees, which has major implications as the gigantic baby boomer population continues to enter retirement age. The good news for Miamians who hate ol ... More >>

Top Five Florida 420 Busts in 2010

​Marijuana production is at an all-time high in Florida and so are grow house busts. The local, state, and federal law enforcement weed eradication program has seen a 50 percent spike in the number of grow labs in less than four years. It's easy pickings for Johnny Law when you think about it. Gro ... More >>

Top five Florida weed busts

​Marijuana production is at an all-time high in Florida and so are grow house busts. The local, state, and federal law enforcement weed eradication program has seen a 50 percent spike in the number of grow labs in less than four years. It's easy pickings for Johnny Law when you think about it. Gro ... More >>

Sustain's organic cuisine is the real deal

​Marijuana production is at an all-time high in Florida and so are grow house busts. The local, state, and federal law enforcement weed eradication program has seen a 50 percent spike in the number of grow labs in less than four years. It's easy pickings for Johnny Law when you think about it. Gro ... More >>

Tonight: Seriously Organic Brings Florida Meat, Cheese & Produce To BTTR

​This evening at the Biscayne Triangle Truck Round-up look for a different kind of vehicle. Seriously Organic, a foraging company that launched last summer with the mission of connecting farmers to chefs and consumers, will bring its refrigerated truck to the gathering. It will be packed with fres ... More >>

Seath Jackson's Facebook Posts Shed Light on Events Surrounding His Brutal Murder

Seath Jackson's Facebook default. ​Several postings on the Facebook wall of 15-year-old Seath Jackson paint a picture of the heated arguments that may have set the stage for his brutal murder last Sunday near Ocala, Florida. Jackson had apparently been dating 15-year-old Amber Wright, but she brok ... More >>

Charlie Ely, Suspect in Brutal Seath Jackson Murder, Says She Was Forced at Gun Point to Participate

Charlie Ely says she was forced to take part in Seath Jackson's brutal murder. ​Disturbing details continue to come out as police try to figure out why four teenagers and a 20-year-old brutally murdered 15-year-old Seath Jackson, burnt his body, and stored his remains in paint cans this past weeke ... More >>

Florida Republican Congressman Wants to Investigate Rep. Weiner's Alleged Bulge Picture

​Republican Congressman Cliff Stearns of Ocala is very interested in his Democratic colleague Anthony Weiner's alleged bulge pictures. More specifically, he's interested in making sure that members of congress are safe from cyber attacks and hacking. Stearns was on Bill O'Reilly last night and sai ... More >>

J-Lo, Florida's Chicken with Two Butts, is Dead

​J-Lo, a chicken born in Florida with two-thirds of the butts of the Kardashian sisters (and maybe twice the brains) is dead. Though she may have been an extraordinary hen, her fate was typical for a chicken: two foxes jumped into her enclosure.

Ice Cream Shop Owner Forced To Clarify That Mascot Is Not A KKK Member

via Ocala.comThe amazing news page at the Ocala Star-Banner this morning.​The good citizens of Ocala have been mighty concerned lately about the man in the pointy-headed white hood waving at their cars from a downtown street corner. "Is the KKK back in Florida?" they naturally wondered.But no. Oca ... More >>

Cheetah the Chimp Died in Florida, But There's Little Evidence He Was Actually in Tarzan Movies

​To hear the story repeated from fine bastions of journalism like the New York Times, NPR, and CNN, you'd be lead to believe that the chimpanzee who played Cheetah, Tarzan's ape companion in the famed 1930s movie series, recently died in an animal sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Florida. Don't believe e ... More >>

Lokal: Clean Burgers, Brews, and Killer Tomatoes (Pictures)

All photos by Laine DossLokal's cork logo.​Lokal, a new burger joint in Coconut Grove, opened Christmas Eve after much renovation to the space on Commodore Plaza.When Short Order spoke with owner Matthew Kuscher in September, he spun a tale of a small neighborhood restaurant featuring locally sour ... More >>

Miami's Ten Best Burgers: Bourbon Steak, Blue Collar, Lokal, and More

Burger & Beer Joint via FacebookMama and baby burger. We'll eat the whole family.​"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today," said Popeye's pal Wimpy. He was clearly the smarter of the pair.Burgers these days can be made from anything -- lamb, turkey, pork, tuna, vegetables, ostrich ... More >>