Nickelback

Kanye West's I Am God and Ten Other Terrible Album Titles

Confidence is sexy, and a bold nature can turn a mouse into a king among men, but someone forgot to tell Kanye West the rule of subtlety. Personally, we think the egomaniacal musician is the genius he claims to be, but all things in moderation. Surely, his forthcoming album will be a righteous ga ... More >>

The Ten Weirdest Members of Congress

What Would Rick Scott's Spotify Playlist Sound Like?

Yesterday, Sen. Marco Rubio released his Spotify playlist on the world. It got us thinking about the musical tastes of other Florida politicians. We don't really expect Gov. Rick Scott to be dropping his mixtape anytime soon, so through the wonderful powers of satire, Riptide has imagined ... More >>

Sum 41 at Culture Room December 9

Top Ten Gross, Funny, and Slutty Celebrity Halloween Costumes of 2012

All Hallows' Eve is the one time of year when you can wear almost anything. Some people like to be clever with their Halloween costumes. Others just try to be slutty. Some people dress up as celebrities. All this goes for your favorite musicians too. Let's take a look at some of this year's celebr ... More >>

20 Worst Pop Hits of the Last 20 Years

Happy Birthday, Nielson! The SoundScan system just turned 20. And although it's probably on its deathbed, Billboard is celebrating the watermark with a series of chart-topping lists. The latest release: The top 100 pop songs since the system's implementation, back in '92. Some Miami-bred musicians ... More >>

Does the Looming '90s Revival Presage a Nirvana-Style Breakthrough?

Seven Signs Miami Is The Fakest City in America

Only in Miami could our inboxes be flooded with press releases like this Wednesday's police announcement: "Clandestine Dentist Arrested." Oh, thank God, you say. Then you think, what kind of a city has fake dentists? I mean, how hard can it be to graduate from dental school?But this is Miami, quite ... More >>

Avril Lavigne Promises "Badass" Wedding Dress, Forgets She Is Avril Lavigne and Marrying the Nickelback Guy

See also "Avril Lavigne & Nickelback, Diarrhea-Flavored Mouthwash, Four Other Gross Marriages." OK, this Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger engagement thing has gone too far. At first, it seemed fun. Or at least, an efficient way for a vengeful Old Testament god to smite them both with a single bo ... More >>

Avril Lavigne & Nickelback, Diarrhea-Flavored Mouthwash, Four Other Gross Marriages

To quote Revelation 6:12, "I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red." Because the end times just weren't coming soon enough, Avril Lavigne and Nickelback's Chad Kroeger have announced ... More >>

Six Types of People Who Actually "Like" Nickelback

See also "Nickelback Petition Backfires, Band to Play BankAtlantic Center." The Internet really hates Nickelback. As far as avid tech geeks and music snobs are concerned, they're the worst band ever. And in line with its total, unabashed disgust for the Canadian bad boys of flavorless ballads, the ... More >>

Rock of Ages: Corporate Rock Still Sucks

Nickelback's Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne! The Five Worst Pop Collaborations

Did you guys just feel that rip in the space-time continuum? Literally the two shittiest musical artists of all time, Nickelback's Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne, are in the studio, making an album together. These two Canadian hacks are combining their talents as the world's most-hated musicians t ... More >>

Nickelback at BankAtlantic Center May 5

Nickelback Petition Backfires, Band to Play BankAtlantic Center on May 5

Proof that God is nonexistent struck us like an 18-wheeler going 65 MPH in a school zone when Nickelback announced their Here and Now arena tour earlier this year. We asked our readers to join the "stop Nickelback from infiltrating our up-and-coming, culturally relevant music scene" movement, but ... More >>

Nickelback Reacts to Haters, Crossfade Pushes Buttons

​Sticks and stones may break their bones, but words really hurt Nickelback. According to a recent article on rollingstone.com, Nickelback is "annoyed with all this constant ridicule." They're sick of taking cheap shots from critics for their lame brand of mainstream radio rock, and they're especia ... More >>

Ten Best Music-Related Things to Do This Weekend Under $10

​Whoa, this week totally flew by. Granted, it was a four-day workweek. But shit, where'd the time go? It seems like only yesterday we were bashing Nickelback, pushing Armand Van Helden's January 27 gig at Arkadia and getting down with Travis Barker's pee-pee. But that's old news. It's Friday, y ... More >>

Nickelback Hate Group Triggers Comment War, Majority Sides With Crossfade

​The "N" word ... Nickelback. Just writing it makes us want to vomit. While many of you can't stomach Chad Kroeger's crappy alt-rock crew either, Crossfade's recent petition to stop Nickelback from playing the BankAtlantic Center on May 5 has triggered a vicious comment war. Nickelback supporte ... More >>

Join Nickelback Hate Group on Facebook, Save South Florida From Here and Now Tour

​God is nonexistent. Need proof? Nickelback is headed our way. With great displeasure, Crossfade regrets to announce that Alberta, Canada "rock" band Nickelback will soon embark on their Here and Now arena tour, a 39-city trek across the United States and Canada. On Saturday, May 5, the Chad ... More >>

Will Dubstep Finally Die in 2012? Five Signs the End Is Near

​For all the hype still surrounding it, dubstep won't be popular forever. From collaborations with Korn to Christmas carol remixes, signs of its imminent demise are springing up all over the place. But will 2012 be the year that dubstep finally dies? Or will it desperately cling to life and linge ... More >>

Volbeat at the Fillmore Miami Beach August 5

Volbeat's Bewildering Blend of Metal, Americana, and Alt-Rock Hits the Fillmore Miami Beach August 5

​Danish rockers Volbeat try to squeeze every single kind of rock music -- from American roots to the universal snarl of aggro rock -- into each of its bewildering three- to four-minute compositions. Metal and punk have been bedfellows for a while now. And punk has definitely found another mo ... More >>

Six Musicians Pelted by Random Junk in Honor of the "Asshole" Who Ruined Odd Future Show

​Odd Future had to cut their May 16 Detroit show short when "some asshole decided to continue to throw GLASS BOTTLES [sic] on stage." The incident happened shortly after the "I'm opening a church to sell coke and Led Zeppelin" line from Tyler the Creator's Bastard track, "French." Not surpr ... More >>

Wynwood Radio's Michael Dittner and Tanya Valiente Talk Tunes on the Internets

Electrobunni doing her pinup thing for some lucky dude.​Let's face it: Radio in South Florida these days sucks. Your choices are few, and the options aren't good. You can either listen to DJ Teja talk about the golden days of Hot Wheels freestyle between 17 plays a day of Rihanna's latest track, o ... More >>

Top 10 Worst Pop Songs Ever To Go Number One on the Charts

Americans are stupid. We like stuff that sucks, lots of us at once. That's called pop culture. Later we look back on it and laugh. That's called VH1. The crappy music we once enjoyed all together as a nation is documented in the archives of the pop music charts.Thanks to the power of the Intern ... More >>

NBA Playoffs: The Heat Takes a First-Round Exit

​Led by sharp-shooting Ray Allen's 24 points, the Boston Celtics put the Miami Heat away last night 96-86, closing out the series and ending the Heat's season and OH MY GOD, DWYANE WADE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!It's the Heat's second straight first-round exit. In fact, the team hasn't taken a playoff ... More >>

Super Bowl guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida

Live Nation Dropping Service Fees For Some Tickets Tomorrow

Looking for a way to save a few bucks on concert tickets? Live Nation has announced they will be waiving the service fees for lawn tickets to a slew of their summer shows starting at 12:01 am on Wednesday. This promotion only lasts for 24 hours, so you'll have to purchase tickets quickly. Hit the ju ... More >>

Nickelback's Shitfaced Nights and Blowjob Queens

A recently reunited nation confronts the band's latest.

3 Doors Down to Play Mizner Park Amphitheatre on Friday - Whether You Like It Or Not

By Douglas Sonders, via www.myspace.com/3doorsdownWhether music snobs like it or not, the Mississippi-birthed, meat-and-potatoes rock act 3 Doors Down has survived -- and thrived -- for over a decade and a half now. Even those who can't identify by name the staples of the "active rock radio" format ... More >>

Three Local Live Nation Venues Say Bye-Bye to Ticketmaster

This past December, Rolling Stone published an interesting industry - centric article detailing the ongoing business battle between ticket-sale monolith Ticketmaster, and live-show monolith Live Nation. Of course, everybody knows that until very, very recently, Ticketmaster was inescapable, even at ... More >>

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? New Year's Resolutions

To read past installments of ¿Que Pasa, M.I.A?, click here. Trying to make a New Year's resolution stick is like trying to get all your friends to call you by a self-appointed nickname. (Dudes, bro, from now on call me  Shatterstar. ) This year, I'm gonna buckle down and really stick to my res ... More >>

Jose El Rey Shares His New Year's Resolutions

The singer, dancer, and lover starts '09 with his own New Times column.

Worst Lyrics of 2008

And now it's time for the "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" memorial Worst Lyrics of 2008, March Madness-style tournament, this year a terrifying mélange of appalling oral-sex requests, bargain-bin philosophies, grammatical atrocities, and cringe-inducing pillow talk. To elevate the drama, I ... More >>

Maná in Heaven

Guadalajara's favorite sons make a triumphant return to Miami — haters be damned

Smells Like Indie Spirit

Music that made the world safe for the word "alternative" again.

Letters from the Issue of September 9-15, 2002

MTV's cattle call, Miami's bigotry, free weekly's big dis

Think Locally

Maria, Lo-Fi, and Rhett and the Pawn Shop Drunks want to crash the VMA party

The Bitch

Game Theory

Punish This

The latest comic-book movie might just kill you

Glitch Maestro

Nobukazu Takemura is the freaky nerd the Nineties promised us