New York Mets

The Marlins Believe You’re Just Being Silly If You Think Any Lead Is Safe Against Them

Marlins Upgraded to a Category 5 Shitstorm

Fields of Green

The Marlins swing their moneymakers

An Ode to Jorge Julio

Where will he suck next? For a few years, I've harbored a strange obsession with Major League journeyman reliever Jorge Julio. Not because he's very good, mind you. In fact, the current Milwaukee Brewer is one of the most consistently awful players to make a big-league roster every year. His ... More >>

Leadoff Platter

Where will he suck next? For a few years, I've harbored a strange obsession with Major League journeyman reliever Jorge Julio. Not because he's very good, mind you. In fact, the current Milwaukee Brewer is one of the most consistently awful players to make a big-league roster every year. His ... More >>

Smells Like Team Spirit

Fist-pumping, crowd-rousing, and annoying as hell, the rock soundtrack to sporting events is becoming a genre of its own

Businessman's Speical

What do you give the Florida Marlins fan who has everything?

Dispensing Salvation

Christopher Alvy steps up to the rock and roll plate

Marlins Game : WBC :: Dog Poo : Kobe Beef

I counted three Venezuelan girls in bikini's that made me want to defect on the next plane to Caracas.

Boots With the Furrr Are Completely Unacceptable Today

I counted three Venezuelan girls in bikini's that made me want to defect on the next plane to Caracas.

Feels Like the Last Time

Out of contention, the Marlins look to play spoiler once again.

Slip-Sliding Away?

The Marlins vie for the NL East title on Super Saturday.

Fear the Comeback Kids

The Marlins lead the league in come-from-behind wins.

Meet the Mets, Beat the Mets

The Marlins lead the league in come-from-behind wins.

Some Salsa With Your Strike Out?

Our Marlins will swing at Super Saturday

Who Ordered the Marlin Roll?

Our Marlins will swing at Super Saturday

Marlins, Meet the Mets

And then the Giants

Hard to Beat Braves

And then the Giants

For the Love of the Game

And then the Giants

Forgive Us, Fish

And then the Giants

We have Mets, the Enemy

And they’re awfully good

Phillyphilia

Or, why Marlins fans welcome the Phillies

Welcome Home

Retreat to a restaurant that lives up to its name

Who's in First?

Retreat to a restaurant that lives up to its name

Play Ball!

The home team steps up to the plate

Swelter

The home team steps up to the plate

Will the Marlins ever win again?

Wikimedia CommonsOur win beard is becoming unruly. We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not ... More >>

Rush Limbaugh is Apparently the New Lead Singer of KC and the Sunshine Band

Rush- er, KC- valiantly burps down a heart attack during his July 4 concert at Landshark Stadium Since 2007, the Marlins have held their "Super Saturday" free concerts after Saturday night home games in a ploy to get people to attend games even if not for the baseball. The concerts sometimes s ... More >>

Phillies' Raul Ibanez: A-Rod Is Green with Envy

It's Ibanez's world and we're all just trying to live in it.Sitting next to a beautiful woman for 12 hours in first class on an airplane is the perfect situation. You want to avoid boredom, so small-talk is perfectly acceptable. And she can't walk away because she has to remain seated and buckled pe ... More >>

New Joke City

It's Ibanez's world and we're all just trying to live in it.Sitting next to a beautiful woman for 12 hours in first class on an airplane is the perfect situation. You want to avoid boredom, so small-talk is perfectly acceptable. And she can't walk away because she has to remain seated and buckled pe ... More >>

Marlins Season Gets Uggla as Clubhouse Fight Breaks Out

You have to give the Fish some serious credit this year. via Wikimedia Commons Hanley ANGRY!​For the 87th consecutive season, they rank last in the bigs in team salary. But somehow they've stayed in the Wild Card hunt.  (Quick fun comparison sure to add to the New York Mets ... More >>

The Fish Get Busy

You have to give the Fish some serious credit this year. via Wikimedia Commons Hanley ANGRY!​For the 87th consecutive season, they rank last in the bigs in team salary. But somehow they've stayed in the Wild Card hunt.  (Quick fun comparison sure to add to the New York Mets ... More >>

Dear Jeffrey Loria: Quit Acting Like a D-Bag and Leave Fredi Alone

Somewhere in a New York penthouse right now, Jeffrey Loria is angrily straightening a Picasso on his wall, swigging a vintage Chianti, and cursing loudly.via Hazboy's flickrWhy wouldn't you fire the best manager in baseball?​His Marlins have missed the playoffs yet again. And Loria has decided it ... More >>

Meet Your New Marlins Uniform: The Fish Drop the 'Florida' Next Year

News flash: Your Marlins baseball club is building a new stadium that will cost taxpayers $4.7 bagillion and, far more tragically, will probably not be sponsored by Jimmy Buffett's crappy beer. via MLB.com​In happier news, they will also drop the "Florida" from their name -- as if they were ... More >>

Marlins to Play Mets Series in Puerto Rico

​Puerto Rico absolutely loves baseball. Too bad they don't have their own MLB team yet, but hey, apparently we're willing to lend them ours for a weekend. The AP reports that the Marlins June 28-30th series against the New York Mets will be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It'll go down at th ... More >>

Meet the Mets, Beat the Mets

​Puerto Rico absolutely loves baseball. Too bad they don't have their own MLB team yet, but hey, apparently we're willing to lend them ours for a weekend. The AP reports that the Marlins June 28-30th series against the New York Mets will be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It'll go down at th ... More >>

Reloaded Fish

​Puerto Rico absolutely loves baseball. Too bad they don't have their own MLB team yet, but hey, apparently we're willing to lend them ours for a weekend. The AP reports that the Marlins June 28-30th series against the New York Mets will be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It'll go down at th ... More >>

Hanley Ramirez's Ginger Dye Job Has a Magical Effect on His Bat

In Hanley's head, it's always 1999.​Hanley Ramirez showed up at the Mets' Citi Field last night with a splotchy reddish dye job that made him look like the deranged love child of Sisqo and Ronald McDonald. But he had four hits in the Marlins' win, so we're guessing he'll stay with the look. Turn ... More >>

New York State of Mind

In Hanley's head, it's always 1999.​Hanley Ramirez showed up at the Mets' Citi Field last night with a splotchy reddish dye job that made him look like the deranged love child of Sisqo and Ronald McDonald. But he had four hits in the Marlins' win, so we're guessing he'll stay with the look. Turn ... More >>

New York's Not So Finest

In Hanley's head, it's always 1999.​Hanley Ramirez showed up at the Mets' Citi Field last night with a splotchy reddish dye job that made him look like the deranged love child of Sisqo and Ronald McDonald. But he had four hits in the Marlins' win, so we're guessing he'll stay with the look. Turn ... More >>

Future Marlins Ballpark Setbacks: Japanese Steel, Koi Fish?

Future Marlins Ballpark​The Florida Marlins kickoff their 2011 season against the New York Mets tonight, and while the game marks the last, first game the Fish will play at Sun Life Stadium, their home tank over the past 18-years, it may be the final home opener the Marlins have until 2013. A so ... More >>

Marlins Officially Eliminated From Playoffs

​The cruel joke played on South Florida every year by Major League Baseball has officially reached its season-ending punch line. Despite sitting near the top of the National League earlier this season, the Marlins have now been officially eliminated from playoff contention. A 5-7 loss to the Mets ... More >>

Off of Playoffs

​The cruel joke played on South Florida every year by Major League Baseball has officially reached its season-ending punch line. Despite sitting near the top of the National League earlier this season, the Marlins have now been officially eliminated from playoff contention. A 5-7 loss to the Mets ... More >>

Race for the Basement

​The cruel joke played on South Florida every year by Major League Baseball has officially reached its season-ending punch line. Despite sitting near the top of the National League earlier this season, the Marlins have now been officially eliminated from playoff contention. A 5-7 loss to the Mets ... More >>

Five Greatest Baseball Moments In Sun Life Stadium History (Video)

via YouTubeJudging by the comments around baseball, not many players are going to weep openly tomorrow when the Marlins play their last game ever at Sun Life Stadium. "There were a lot of rain delays, and no fans," Josh Willingham recalls. "You're talking about the worst conditions," ex-fan fave Cod ... More >>

Is This the Miami Marlins Uniform Jose Reyes and Albert Pujols Will Wear Next Year? UPDATED

via a tipster​The Marlins will officially unveil their new logo and uniforms tonight at 9. (That they didn't hold the event at 11:11 this morning seems like a loss, but oh well.) The logo and alleged mockups of the uniforms have already leaked, but Uni-Watch apparently has the first actual picture ... More >>

Jose Reyes Could Become the Highest Paid Marlin in History, but It Might Not Be Enough

​According to a report from Fox Sports, the Marlins have extended a six-year contract to Jose Reyes worth $90 million. That would make him far and away the highest paid player in the franchise's history, and if true is an indication that owner Jeffrey Loria really is willing to put his money where ... More >>

Jose Reyes to the Marlins: The Conflicting Emotions of A Miami-Residing Mets Fan

​I was in the stands at Shea Stadium in 2006 when Endy Chavez, God bless his tiny heart, made this heroic catch in the NLCS' Game 7 to seemingly seal the Mets' glorious destiny. That was the last time I've ever experienced joy. Three innings later, Carlos Beltran was frozen by an Adam Wainwright ... More >>

Marlins Will Make Jose Reyes Cut His Dreads

Reyes is not as free as his hair. ​Good thing the Marlins are the only team in the MLB with an official barber, because newly signed Jose Reyes will have to sit down in Hugo Tandron's chair soon. Reyes has sported shoulder length dreadlocks for the better part of his career with the Mets, but the ... More >>

Miami's top news stories of 2011

Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.