New Jersey Nets

LeBron James, Heat Shut Up Smack-Talking Nets with 105-85 Win

During shootaround prior to last night's game, Brooklyn's pedestrian, no-rings, Dopey-headed fool of a starting power forward, Reggie Evans, ran off his mouth about how the Heat's championship "didn't count" because of the lockout and how LeBron James was no different then a lot of other players in ... More >>

Nets Player Says Heat Didn't Win "Real" Title; LeBron's Response: "Who?"

The Miami Heat travel to Brooklyn tonight for the first time in franchise's history, and apparently Nets players are hoping to amp up the rivalry. Nets forward Reggie Evans is even going as far as to suggest that the Heat's 2012 title wasn't legitimate because of the lock-out shortened regular seaso ... More >>

One-Month Mark

Heat Throttle Nets 103-73, Don't Care "Where Brooklyn At?"

Your WORLD CHAMPION Miami Heat took on the newly-relocated Brooklyn Nets last night and proceeded to obliterate those Brooklyn/New Jersey/Whatever fools 103-73, proving that even if you move from a shitty state to a less shitty city borough, it doesn't change the fact that your squad is infinitely i ... More >>

Kanye and Kim Are (Probably) Getting Married! Watch Your Back, Kris Humphries

Roughly four years and 72 days. That's the amount of time Kim Kardashian has put in as someone's wife. More, however, may be on the horizon. Fox News (via Life & Style) is reporting that Kardashian's boyfriend, Kanye West, is pressuring the 31-year-old reality star to hurry the divorce proc ... More >>

LeBron James Scores 17 in the Final Five Minutes To Lead Win Over Nets

Up until the last 50 seconds of last night's 101-98 win over the New Jersey Nets, the Miami Heat were flat out refusing to give a single fuck. Oh they had fucks. Had them stored away somewhere. Perhaps in a box inside a FedEx truck marked "playoffs." But they just weren't going to be giving any away ... More >>

Heat Sweep the Knicks, Win Southeast Division

The Miami Heat went into Madison Square Garden yesterday for the first and only time this regular season, and proceeded to mash the spleens of the New York Knickerbockers to the tune of 93-85, snapping New York's nine-game home-winning streak, sweeping the season series against the Knicks and taking ... More >>

Kanye West's Inevitable Kardashians Cameo and Five Other Predictions for His Downward Spiral

How adorable are Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, y'all? They're like the cutest rebound couple ever! But don't remind Kim's stepfather, former Olympian-turned-cosmetic-surgery-disaster Bruce Jenner, that they're dating. TMZ reports that Jenner was at a speaking engagement at Northeastern University ... More >>

Kanye West's Dating Kim Kardashian, Threatens Chris Humphries on New Song

Yep, it's official. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are doing it, and they're in love. Or at least that's what West said on his new track, "Theraflu," produced by Miami's own DJ Khaled (We da best!). But that's not all the contro rapper revealed in his new spot. He also laid down a threatening ver ... More >>

Chris Bosh Returns to the Heat, Proceeds to Destroy the Nets

​Sure, it was the Nets. And sure, they're amongst the worst defenses in the NBA. But holy shitsnacks, it was awesome seeing Chris Bosh back in the Heat fold, dropping his silky smooth jumpers in honor of his dearly departed GloJean and turning Kris Humphries into a human-sized lump of coal in the ... More >>

Heat Fall to the Lakers as Masked Kobe Drops 33

​Kobe Bryant and his broken face scored 33 points, as he and the Lakers took down the Miami Heat 93-83 yesterday, handing Miami their second consecutive loss.It was the first meeting between L.A. and Miami since Dwyane Wade inadvertently broke Kobe's nose during a hard foul in the All Star game la ... More >>

In Miami Heat's Chapel, Jeremy Lin Prayed A Month Ago He'd Make the Knicks Squad

​It's hard to believe that just a month ago, Jeremy Lin was hanging on to his spot on the New York Knicks' roster by a mere thread. The struggling team was considering cutting him. He traveled with the team to Miami on January 27th. He didn't play a single minute in the game, but he did visit the ... More >>

The Best Revenge is Revenge: Heat Take Down Hawks in 3OT Without James or Wade

​Dwyane Wade, out with a sore left foot. LeBron James, out with a sprained left ankle. The Miami Heat, having to go into Atlanta undermanned, against a Hawks team that had just beaten them at home with James and Wade.Problem? Shit and no.Enter Chris Bosh. Bosh proceeded to trample any hopes Atlant ... More >>

Five most expensive New Year's Eve celebrations

Miami's top news stories of 2011

Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

Five of Miami's Most Expensive New Year's Eve 2012 Parties

Fly your millionaire flag like Ricky Rozay.​With all the talk of Occupy this and Occupy that, people have been a little hesitant to flaunt their wealth in 2011. Richer, please! It's time to put that P.C. bullshit to bed and ring in the New Year as your great-grandfather, John D. Rockefeller, wou ... More >>

Amar'e Stoudemire Promises to Riddle LeBron's Body With Bullets in Bizarre Human Hunting Escapade

​Amar'e Stoudemire has privately announced his intentions to hunt and kill LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, according to reports. The full details of the bloodlustful New York Knicks forward's murderous plans are not yet known, but Stoudemire has told teammates that he has already assembled a cache o ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Open to Possibility of Playing Overseas During Lockout

Dwyane Wade could be taking his talents across the ocean. The Miami Heat guard was in suburban Chicago with Chicago Bears (and former Miami Hurricanes) player David Hester while the two were hosting camps for kids. Wade told the AP he'd be open to playing for the foreign league if the NBA lock out d ... More >>

Pulitzer-Winning Newspaper Publicly Congratulates Sex Tape Star on Engagement

​Today, The Miami Herald, a newspaper that has won 20 Pulitzer Prizes in its history for covering things such as voter fraud, the Haiti earthquake and U.S. Iran-Contra affair, took to its Twitter to publicly congratulate Kim Kardashian, a basic cable reality television star who rocketed to fame af ... More >>

LeBron-less Heat Trounced by Nuggets

​The Miami Heat suited up against Denver last night without LeBron James and his karma-fucked ankle. This was also the last game before the Heat return to the east coast where when it's 7:30, it's not actually 10:30. Mix in a dash of Mario Chalmers bricks and a Mike Miller who suddenly treats the ... More >>

Miami Heat Already Have Shot at One NBA Record

​Unless the Heat somehow manage to only drop two games the rest of the regular season, the hopes that the team can match the '96 Chicago Bulls 72-win season may have to wait until at least next season. Though, the streaking squad is already knocking on the door at meeting or beating another NB ... More >>

Jay-Z in Miami Tonight (via Satelite) to Discuss "Decoded"

Ben Baker/Redux via Forbes.comJay-Z's gonna be a Forbes-rated billionaire.​The Miami Music Festival (yawn) came to a close on Sunday, as the Miami International Book Fair kicked off its week-long series of literary events with George W. Bush (read about it). But tonight via satellite from the New ... More >>

Everybody Hates Chris Bosh: Is It Time to Downgrade to the "Big Two?"

​OK, "hate" probably doesn't encapsulate the recent rash of ink being turned out about the third wheel of the Miami Heat troika. "Disappointed," maybe. "Underwhelmed," possibly. "Concerned," perhaps. Whatever the word, poor Chris Bosh isn't exactly settling in as expected in his new hot home, ... More >>

Guy Who Wore Heat Jersey to an Indians Game Gets to Meet the Team

So remember Matthew Bellamy? He was the brave man who got booed and escorted out of a Cleveland Indians home game by police simply because he dared to wear LeBron James' Miami Heat jersey. Yeah, we never thought we'd ever hear about him again. Well, according to an unconfirmed report from The Clevel ... More >>

It's Dwyane Wade vs. the Boston Celtics in Round One of the NBA Playoffs

Listen, if you've been stashing singles every day since the beginning of the regular season for some big playoff bet, it wouldn't be entirely ill advised to go against your hometeam Miami Heat instincts and take the Boston Celtics to win in the first round of the 2010 NBA Playoffs. Blasphemy? What? ... More >>

Underdogging It

Miami Heat vs. New York Knicks: Wade Beats the Knicks with One Hand

​Other than Twitpics of Dorell Wright's dong, it's the worst thing a Miami Heat fan can ever see: Dwayne Wade, grimacing in pain with team doctors checking his wrist. It happened last night after the first half of Miami's 111-98 win over the New York Knicks. But with playoff seedings still up in t ... More >>

Scrap Heat

News Roundup: Rubio's Aide Has Pricey Habits, Meek Loves Pork

Kendrick Meek wants $238 million for earmarks that would go toward things such as teaching children healthful eating habits and dredging the Miami harbor. [Herald]An ex-Marco Rubio aide who made $175,000 a year put hefty expenses on a GOP credit card, including luxury hotels and handmade chairs ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Philadelphia 76ers

​There are several ways a team can kick off the second half of an NBA season following an All-Star break. One is to come out of the gates stumbling and disorganized, setting a terrible precedent for the remainder of the season. Another is to come out on fire, playing sound defense, and setting the ... More >>

A Boy Named Lou

News Roundup: If Jeezy's Payin' LeBron, I'm Paying Dwyane Wade

The number of homes in foreclosure in Miami-Dade fell by 5.62 percent last month, but is still higher than the same month last year. [Herald]A four-year-old boy was found wandering the streets in just pajamas this morning in NW Dade, but his parents have been found. [NBCMiami]Remember how this summe ... More >>

King Fishing

Top Five Dream Miami Heat Lineups for 2010

Photo by Keith Allison, via Flickr​Running off the pure optimism of Wednesday night's opening beat-down of the New York Knicks, I present to you the top five Miami Heat starting lineups for the 2010-2011 season.As most fans know, the Heat will have perhaps the best cap space situation in the leag ... More >>

Kicking the Nets in the Balls

It’s practically D-Wade’s hobby.

A Flash of Greatness

Dwyane Wade is It personified.

Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat Overcome Slow Start, Giant Chinese Guy

Jay-Z and Mary J. to Kick Off Tour in Miami!

Big-Bucks Benchwarmer

A straight-from-high-school phenom stays intimate with the Heat bench

Paint by Numbers

Heat Offensive