A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week: the biggest First-World problem ever, Walmart toy humping, a buttload of missing Crisco, and an important reminder that many of Florida's craziest residents are not actually product ... More >>
How the U.S. Chamber of Commerce became the greatest (bumbling) enemy of America.
Financial guru Suze Orman may be packing up her partner and her jacket collection and moving to a state that recognizes gay marriage if the Supreme Court overturns DOMA.Orman currently lives in Fort Lauderdale with partner Kathy Travis, but the tax breaks that could come with federally recognized ma ... More >>
In further a effort to prove he's totally hip and with it, Sen. Marco Rubio sat down with Buzzfeed, a .GIF site with some political reporters, to discuss a wide ranging series of topics over beer with editor Ben Smith. Rubio discussed a number of issues, including his belief that gay right can ... More >>
After last month's electoral loss, the Republican Party is desperately trying to make it self over as a Hispanic friendly group, but the fact that a group representing Hispanic Republican voters in Florida has now filed a lawsuit against Reince Priebus, the national GOP chair with a name that ... More >>
If you're an average Floridian, you would have consumed exactly 27.8 gallons of beer in the 2011. That sort of sounds like a lot, but it turns out that compared to other states, Florida only ranks 33rd when it comes to per capita beer consumption according to a new report from the Beer Institute.&nb ... More >>
Judge Will Matthews from Dothan, Alabama, was settling into a meal of hot dogs loaded with ketchup and mayonnaise inside the Tampa Bay Times Forum amidst the third day of the Republican National Convention when he noticed a Republican from Southern California to his left. She had puffy blonde hair, ... More >>
See also "Best Coast Ranks Other Coasts, Survives Slayer Riot, Can't Punch Out Glenn Danzig." As one half of Best Coast, Bobb Bruno loves California and stands by his band's designation of it as "The Only Place." That's the title of the album and single they'll be touring at Grand Central tonight, ... More >>
Before he was a Tea Partier, Marco Rubio was just a plain old hard partier. His new memoir, An American Son, is out today, and while reviews seem to indicate it's what you might call sort of boring and politically safe, Florida's junior Senator does admit to drinking and partying in his past. In fac ... More >>
Florida is notorious for Medicare fraud, and we also have more than our fair share of food stamp fraud. At least Miami residents can console themselves with the fact that our food stamp defrauders are not as shameless as those in other states.EBT cards, modern-day food stamps, are being traded for c ... More >>
Rick Perry has dropped out of the race and returned to Racial Slur Hideaway, Herman Cain is now making unwanted advances on his housecats, Rick Santorum's last name is a synonym for booty juice, and Newt Gingrich is an angry, sexed-up troll with facial hemorrhoids. Even with Newt's victory in Sout ... More >>
via You TubeMichael the Black Man rallies for Santorum on Sunday.After stinging losses in New Hampshire and South Carolina, Rick Santorum came to Florida this weekend hoping to reboot his push toward the White House. But the ex-senator may want to vette his opening acts a bit better: At a Coral S ... More >>
UPDATE: Turns out Rep. Ron Paul is dumping us -- though it looks like he has mailers going out to voters, Politico reports his campaign is skipping the Florida primary to concentrate on caucuses in February, a decision likely informed by Paul polling horribly&nb ... More >>
Florida has apparently stopped gorging itself on pizza man Herman Cain, and ol' reliably boring Mitt Romney has taken a giant lead in the latest poll conducted by Time and CNN. Romney leads the pack with 30 percent, while Cain is now a distant second with 12 percent. Compare that to an American R ... More >>
A Florida commission appointed by Republicans will likely vote today to move up the state's Republican primary election to January 31.Though party muckety-mucks are still working on a compromise that could delay the election until February 21, the decision will probably create chaos.Given last we ... More >>
Ditching that crazy b*tch Florida.Sunshine or granite? Sex on the beach or maple syrup on hotcakes? "Welcome to Miami" or "Live Free or Die"?It's been fun Florida, but you're just too damn crazy for Jon Huntsman.After a three-month flirtation, the Republican presidential hopeful is ditching the n ... More >>
Cop BlockRobert RuggeiroGolden Beach Police Officer Robert Ruggeiro proves eating too many doughnuts kills brain cells. A few days ago, during a traffic stop of a dude who was using a cellphone camera to video record him and another officer, Ruggeiro claimed it was a felony in Florida to film cop ... More >>
Republican leaders are still eager to host Florida's presidential primary election earlier than most states, but they're hoping to avoid a repeat of 2008's fiasco. Leaders plan to set the primary in early March, just days before the traditional Super Tuesday -- even if that means holding the ... More >>
Let's face it: With Americans getting portlier by leaps and bounds, we need a President who reflects our food-obsessed values. That's right: It is time again for a fat person to inhabit the White House.It's been almost a century since our last obese leader, William Howard Taft, got stuck in the Whit ... More >>
This is the fifth in a series of articles profiling the seven finalists for the New Times' Mastermind Awards, which will be presented to four local artists during Artopia at the Freedom Tower February 11.It all started with a fish tank. Like many boys, Colin Foord had an aquarium his "whole life. ... More >>
On Tuesday, pretty much every local outlet -- including this one -- reported that code-violatin' gangsta poultry Mr. Clucky was fleeing the state in order to avoid a $50-a-day fine. But yesterday afternoon, the rooster's owner, Mark Buckley, phoned Riptide to let us know that, in fact, he ... More >>
Jacqueline CariniMr. Clucky and Buckley in 2007 Mr. Clucky, perhaps the most famous rooster since Foghorn Leghorn, is apparently leaving town. Clucky's owner Mark Buckley told Local 10 he's packing up the fowl, his girlfriend Wallflower, and all of their shared worldly posse ... More >>
Chef Tim AndriolaChef Tim Andriola has been lauded by food critic John Mariani in Esquire Magazine as a "chef to keep your eye on," going on to say that he "definitely has the touch of a master."He started as a kid in Lee, New Hampshire at his family's restaurant, the Gateway. In South Florida he ... More >>
Considering most runners in the 2010 Senate race haven't held a position higher than congressman, it might behoove anyone with a stronger resumé to think about entering the fray, and what better job to have in your past when seeking a Senate seat than senator? Reportedly, former New Hampshire Sen. ... More >>
When Rev. Neil Doherty misbehaved, the archdiocese punished Theresa Gerstner.
Strip mall magnate gets his own street in Sunny Isles Beach.
1. Stronger Security for Driver’s Licenses – An initiative put forth by the Department of Homeland Security will require that all Americans born after Dec. 1, 1964 get new more secure driver’s licenses. The plan will allow state governments to share information about the person. 2. Seminole ... More >>
"How do you reconcile Thorp's catty comments with the original glowing review?"
I didn't want a bunch of dudes who could beat me in my sleep.
Brenda Lanzendorf's underwater excavations reveal Biscayne Bay's secret past
Howard Dean is aiming for the White House, but first it's Miami Beach
What do Hillary Clinton, Bob Graham, and Dorrin Rolle have in common? They're all wooing helpful partners
Someone oughta put a Capra in Sandler's behind
The spring-training stadium nobody wanted hosts the league nobody knows
About keeping rock simple
This year's Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival is bigger and ... well, bigger
Miami Shores unapologetically decimates a formerly shady stretch of Biscayne Boulevard