Nature and the Environment

Judge Allows Environmental Group To Join Miami-Dade Water and Sewer Lawsuit

As Miami-Dade County moves forward with its $12.6 billion plan to fix the aging water and sewer collection system, Federal Chief Judge Frederico Moreno yesterday awarded a significant victory to the Biscayne Bay Waterkeeper, an environmental group that claims the county proposal does not address sea ... More >>

Greedy Lying Bastards Documents Climate-Change Horrors

Publix Sells Shark Meat: Eat or Avoid?

Since before Jaws used the Jersey shore as an all-you-can-eat buffet, sharks have held a reputation as the monsters of the sea. But no matter how intimidating they appear, the water-bound predators still fall below humans on the food chain. In fact, shark meat is legally sold at certain retailers, ... More >>

Florida Man Arrested For Making His Kids Ride a Manatee Calf

Manatees are for looking but not touching. Even people who lack common sense should have learned that after Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez turned herself in for attempting to ride a manatee in the Tampa Bay area.Not everyone got the message. Ryan William Waterman, a 21-year-old Fort Pierce man, has bee ... More >>

Giant Squid Captured on Film for First Time Thanks to South Florida's Triton Submarines

2013 Python Challenge: Few Reptiles, Many TV Crews

PETA Demands Python Hunters Stop Decapitating Snakes

Experts around the country have raised all kinds of concerns about Florida's mass orgy of python killing set for this weekend. Would-be snake hunters only have to read a couple of PDFs to qualify, leaving them in grave danger of death by dehydration, snake bite, swamp rot and god knows what other Ev ... More >>

Promised Land: For Matt Damon and Company, the Message Is the Message

Manatee Molester on the Loose in Tampa Bay

An unidentified woman was seen hitching a ride on the back of a manatee in the waters off Fort De Soto Park in the Tampa Bay area, which runs afoul of the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act.Now authorities are looking for the manatee molester.

America's Fracking Gold Rush Portends the Greatest Environmental Disaster of a Generation

Floridians Warned Not to Interrupt Big Manatee Orgies

If you see a large group of manatees suddenly show up in shallow water and start rubbing up against each other, there's a good chance they're humping, and you shouldn't try to interrupt them.Recently, such a group has appeared near Siesta Beach on Siesta Key, and wildlife officials have had to remin ... More >>

Got Beaver Fever?

Aristides Rodriguez, Serial Manatee Speed Zone Offender, Sentenced to Sea Cow Protection

Somewhere in Biscayne Bay there is a pod of manatees laughing their fat, mossy asses off.Aristides Lorenzo Rodriguez, 43, was sentenced to a year of probation yesterday for repeatedly violating speed limits in a manatee zone. Clearly, a federal judge Jonathan Goodman is trying to scare Rodriguez int ... More >>

Coral Reefs Are Being Decimated, All for a Few Gaudy Trinkets

Publix Seafood Practices Rank 19 of 20 Stores Analyzed, Greenpeace Says

Wikimedia CCPublix seafood practices score a failing grade of 2.7 out of 10, according to the environmental group Greenpeace. A study by the organization's Carting Away the Oceans project (CATO) analyzed major grocers such as Target, Safeway, Whole Foods, and Winn-Dixie. Publix landed at 19 among th ... More >>

Franken-Artist Enrique Gomez De Molina Sentenced to 20 Months for Wildlife Smuggling

​Enrique Gomez De Molina, the local artist who specializes in surrealist objects assembled from the taxidermied parts of different animals, has been sentenced to 20 months in prison for smuggling endangered wildlife. De Molina was first arrested in late November just before Art Basel, and plead gu ... More >>

Pythons May Have Eaten All the Rabbits in the Everglades

​Peter Cottontail's Florida cousin is no longer hopping down any bunny trails in the Everglades. That's because he was eaten by a python.A new study says that rabbits may have been completely eliminated from areas of the Everglades where invasive snake populations are the most heavy. Bobcats, racc ... More >>

Burmese Python Imports Now Banned in U.S.; No More Snakes On These Motherf**in' Planes

​​Ken Salazar, our cowboy hat-wearing Secretary of the Interior, is expected to announce a ban on importing Burmese pythons today while visiting the Everglades. "The Burmese python has already gained a foothold in the Florida Everglades, and we must do all we can to battle its spread and to pre ... More >>

Amanda Montoya Pelicano Takes Flight

​It was dusk and the fading twilight glistened purple and orange across the gentle ripples of Biscayne Bay. A mile from land a fishing boat dumped a bag of chum in the water and a crowd of hungry pelicans began to fight each other for food. It was the end of another day, a long day at that--and ev ... More >>

Kit Curtin tracks manatees in Miami

Kit Curtin, Urban Manatees Best Hope In Miami, Loses Funding In Recession

Photo by Kit CurtinA manatee with a strikingly well designed piece of canal garbage. (Not a posed photo, Curtin says.)​In a murky, garbage-strewn canal next to a dilapidated apartment complex, a mossy-colored beast breaks the water's surface. The manatee looks as out of place in this hood as a thr ... More >>

Reader mail: "Global warming no longer exists!"

Coral Reefer Madness

Turkey Point Reactors Vulnerable to Global Warming, Experts Warn

​"We are the most vulnerable metropolitan area in the world when it comes to sea level rise," says University of Miami professor Harold Wanless. Sitting in his office, the avuncular geologist paints a bleak picture. Global warming is a fact, and the results are already visible: hurricanes are gett ... More >>

North Bay Village's possum problem blamed on cat food

Clemente DiMuro, "Feather Man," Killed Anhingas for Their Plumes, Ke$ha Unharmed

Wikimedia CommonsNo Ke$has were harmed by Clemente DiMuro.​Ah, Miami. So close to the Everglades. So far from sanity.It's a dangerous combination. For instance, when poachers such as Clemente DiMuro shoot protected anhinga "snakebirds," chop off their pretty feathers, and sell them on the Internet ... More >>

Florida Tea Party Group Thinks Saving Manatees Is Part of Mass Godless Conspiracy

​Members of Florida Tea Party groups are so upset with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service's efforts to save manatees that they are claiming that new rules to possibly be imposed in famous Kings Bay would not only go against the Bible, but also are part of a vast United Nations conspiracy ... More >>

Hangin' With Mr. Copper

Sharks attack, fishermen and scientists battle

Sucking Head

Sucking Head

Everglades Pythons Survived Last Year's Cold Snap

​The great alien python menace continues to ravage to the delicate ecosystem of the Everglades, and scientists hoped that last January's historic cold snap would put a big dent in the invasive snake population. Unfortunately, most of those slimy bastards managed to survive the big chill. Not even ... More >>

Wild Monkeys Living with Adopted Raccoon Near Fort Lauderdale Airport

​A family of ververt monkeys that have roamed freely in Broward County since the 1950s has recently relocated to a patch of trees near the Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood International Airport, according to Local 10. Which is adorable and all, but, you guys, they also report that "a raccoon is treated l ... More >>

Reefer Madness

Lobster Miniseason Begins Tomorrow

Florida Lobsters. ​Lobster enthusiasts should gas up their boats. Lobster miniseason begins tomorrow. Or tonight at 12:01 a.m. to be exact. The two-day lobster hunt is an opportunity for novice fishermen to be out on the water, drink, and, of course, catch lobsters.If this is your first time on th ... More >>

Working With a Monster

Pythons Banned in Florida

​Bad news for lovers of giant snakes, killing babies, Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson: Burmese pythons have been banned in Florida. On Thursday, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission signed new rules that prohibit anyone from owning Burmese pythons and, actually, any other "reptiles of concern" as p ... More >>

Wildlife Cops Bust Man Selling Pythons on Craigslist

Bethany Berg Via Flicker CCThe ad on Craigslist Miami shows a photo of two large black snakes slithering on white carpet. "Ball Pythons for Cheap," the headline reads. "They are very tame and eat one mouse a week." Scroll down a bit and find a "dwarf pastel Colombian redtail boa" for $160. A bit f ... More >>

You Have One Day to Kill a Snake Or Python Hunting Season is a Failure

The idea of the government asking people to take there hunting equipment out into the Everglades and swamps of Florida to end the lives of "reptiles of concern like" may not have been the most humane thing, but boy were we excited. We mean, these snakes could kills us and our young children and our ... More >>

Six Rat & Roach-Related Emergency Restaurant Closures So Far in March

toon by Alex Izaguirre​We hate to have to tell you this, but if six restaurants have been shut down for rats and roaches so far this month. How many do you think are getting away with it?How many plastic-smiling waitresses have you tipped while they knowingly handed you food that had been in a kit ... More >>

Touch My Thorax

14-Foot Python Found in Miami-Dade Raises Concern of "Super Snake"

via South Florida Water Management District/Sun-Sentinel​The great snake scourge of the Everglades continues to thrive despite the recent cold snap and Sen. Bill Nelson's giant snake killing parties.During a recent sweep, state officials found five African rock pythons, including a 14-foot-female ... More >>

Northwest Miami-Dade gunslingers shoot endangered wood storks for target practice

Record 429 Manatee Fatalities in 2009

The news for Florida manatees started off strong last year, as wildlife officials announced that their survey found a record number of manatees in our waters. In fact, they had found 500 more than ever before, but 2009 ended on a sour note when 429 manatees were estimated to have died. Much like ano ... More >>

Rats! Restaurant Emergency Shutdown Orders for December 2009

​An emergency order disposition to a routine food inspection at a restaurant means "conditions have been found that endanger the health and safety of the public requiring immediate closure of the establishment. "Here are three restaurants whose facilities were temporarily closed by health inspecto ... More >>

Scientists Worried Everglades Pythons Could Morph into Hybrid Man-Eating Monsters

Last week, I wrote about a coalition of scientists trying to stop the next dangerous exotic invader from taking over the Everglades. via Wikimedia CommonsAt this point, it's probably just best to run and scream.​Dennis Giardina, a botanist who co-chairs the group, took me on a hunt for nile monito ... More >>

Glades Invaders

It's too late to stop the pythons. The real question is, what's next?

Stung

It's not the usual edgy stuff, but this Miami Science Museum show has some bite.

Ric O'Barry's The Cove Hits Theaters

The film expertly exposes the horrific treatment of dolphins, but what about the uglies?

Seventeen-Foot Python Caught in Okeechobee

via Florida Fish & Wildlife​ Here's the giant snake that's on the front page of every local news website, so why not ours too? Slow news day. As part of the insane/awesome new government initiative to kill every Burmese python in the wild, this 17-footer was caught yesterda ... More >>