Without any help from our sports teams Florida already has a well deserved reputation for unabated weirdness, but the bizarre sports scandals that have erupted in the state in the past three years alone is out of control by sports standards, by Florida standards, or by any standards of human decency ... More >>
One needs only look at the Marlins player payroll for evidence that owner Jeffrey Loria is cheap, but news that the team is under federal investigation for wage violations have nothing to do with anything on the field. According to FairWarning, a Labor Department spokesman confirmed that along wit ... More >>
The 2013 season is over but you can still buy Marlins tickets. The team is still selling unsold tickets to Henderson Alvarez's bizarre no-hitter for $15 a pop, which would be a really, really great deal if time travel existed.
According to a report from MLB.com's Marlins beat writer, the Marlins won't be trading Giancarlo Stanton, the only good player on their sad little team, next season. They even plan to "build" around him, but that doesn't mean they'll shell out any more money on their already-second-to-last lowest pa ... More >>
When Jeffrey Loria was seeking public funds to build Marlins Park, it came with the promise the Marlins would get better. Well, the team is only its second season at the shiny new park and they've hit a milestone the team has only hit once before in its 21-year history: 100 loses in a season.
The best thing you can say about the Miami Marlins is that they're not technically the worst. The Houston Astros have a worse record and TV ratings, and the Tampa Bay Rays have lower attendance. So when ESPN magazine decided to rank every professional franchise in all four major North American spo ... More >>
More often than not the loser of the annual FIU-FAU game gets crowned the worst FBS team in Florida. This year something weird and strange is happening. USF, who once touted itself as part of Florida's "big four," sucks in historic measures. They opened their season with a 53-21 loss to McNesse Stat ... More >>
Annnnnnnnnnnnnd down the stretch they come! The MLB regular season finish line is near, and you know what that means, Marlins fans: playoffs 100-loss-season watch! Just fewer than 20 games remain between you and a Marlins free Twitter timeline -- that is, until they trade Giancarlo Stanton in Decemb ... More >>
If you build it, they will come. That was the message from Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria back in 2009 when he convinced Miami-Dade commissioners to vote for the massive pimple that now protrudes from the forehead of Little Havana. It worked for a season. And then came Loria's $2 billion-promis ... More >>
Cheap beer, affordable tickets, swanky surroundings — what's not to like about minor and independent league baseball parks?
The signs were everywhere during Washington Nationals home games last month. One read "ZOMBIE MODE" with red-ink blood dripping from the letters. Another showed a baseball with a chunk bitten out of it and "Eat Face Win!" In fact, drop the hashtag #EatFace into Twitter this second and you'll find hu ... More >>
As if getting pounded 10-1 last night by the Milwaukee Brewers to keep the worst record in baseball wasn't bad enough for the Marlins, a Miami police officer shot and critically wounded a man just outside the ballpark shortly after the game began. The shooting, which was related to a drug investiga ... More >>
Sure, there's still a lot more baseball to be played this season, but as of right now the Marlins have a winning percentage of .241, putting them dead last in the league. They've racked up just 13 wins, four wins less than the next worst team. And if things keep going as badly as they are, the Marli ... More >>
The Miami Marlins have recently shocked the sports world by going on a breathtaking run in which the team has not completely sucked. A team that started of the season with just five wins in their first 24 games suddenly can now be described with such high praise as "competent," "slightly better than ... More >>
The human body is approximately 65 percent liquid, which means we inevitably do a lot of drinking to keep that waterlogged equilibrium. Whether it's the recommended allowance of H20 or copious quantities of booze, there's lots of the wet stuff constantly flowing down our gullets. So proper drinkwa ... More >>
Hope you're psyched for Opening Day, Miami! Your hometown Marlins are off to a roaring start. If by "roaring," you mean they're tied for the worst record in baseball, have scored just 14 runs in six games, and are so desperate for a first-baseman they held open auditions yesterday, that is.Just in c ... More >>
Well, we were being a bit facetious by trying to get excited about the Marlins going on the longest losing streak in MLB history, but it turns out the team is already on the brink of setting another dubious record. They could become the first team on record since at least 1916 to start the season wi ... More >>
In the first shutout of the young MLB season, the Miami Marlins fell to the Washington National 0-2 today, but fans of schadenfreude only have one number on their mind: 20. That would give the Marlins the single longest losing streak in the post-wildcard era. If anyone can top the 2005 Kansas City R ... More >>
As another season begins, MLB faces an unsustainable future — and you're picking up the tab.
You could trace the Miami Marlins' tailspin to last April, when new manager Ozzie Guillen pissed off the most important exiles in town by praising Fidel Castro. Surely the team had that fiasco in mind when news of the death of Miami's second-most-hated strongman, Hugo Chávez, was announced shortly ... More >>
Sometimes it seems the Marlins and Dolphins are trying to pull one big joke on South Florida, and now it appears the Marlins are set to recycle one of the Dolphins biggest punchlines.Pat White, a name synonymous with Bill Parcells' crappy draft picks, has been offered a minor league contract with th ... More >>
Locals aren't the only ones pissed over the Marlins' most recent fire sale. The MLB players union is also keeping a close eye on the team's roster, and apparently has promised to take action if the Marlins don't do anything about it soon.Well, lo and behold, MLB.com is out with a story today in whic ... More >>
Wednesday night's episode of Showtime's baseball docudrama The Franchise, which this season is following the Miami Marlins, will be its last. At least two more episodes were originally planned, with the option for others, but the Marlins and Showtime have decided to pull the plug early, because, wel ... More >>
Earlier today, someone hacked into the Facebook accounts of several Major League Baseball teams and the Marlins were not spared. For a brief moment, the Marlins Facebook page promised the first 10,000 fans in attendance at the next game that they'd receive a free "fighting pit bull."
There was a time in May, when the Heat were on their way to a championship, the Panthers had won their first ever division title, and the Marlins completed the best record that month in MLB, when we had a glimmer of hope (albeit somewhat tempered by the Dolphins) that this may be the first year sinc ... More >>
The Miami Marlins are only the third favorite baseball team of Floridians according to a new Quinnipiac poll. Which is quite odd once you remember Florida is only home to two major league baseball teams. In fact, Florida's favorite team doesn't even play in Florida. Yes, the New York Yankees actuall ... More >>
Are you ready for your morning dose of statistical overload? Good, because Public Policy Polling just unleashed a wide-ranging poll of Floridians that somehow asks about Fidel Castro, Major League Baseball, and the Trayvon Martin case. Some interesting highlights: Ozzie Guillen is only slightly more ... More >>
Saturday Night Live dove full-on into the Trayvon Martin case this weekend. Of course, there's not a whole lot humor to be found in the specifics of the case, so instead the show lampooned CNN's Piers Morgan, Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen (played by host Josh Brolin), and Florida in general (" ... More >>