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MLB May Suspend 20 Players With Links to Miami Clinic For Up To 100 Games Each

Major League Baseball has made a major break in its investigation of a Miami-based clinic that provided performance-enhancing drugs to about 20 players, including the New York Yankees Alex Rodriguez and the Milwaukee Brewers Ryan Braun. ESPN reports that the league could hand out 100-game suspension ... More >>

Everybody’s Doing the Fish

Five Sports Owners (Maybe) Worse Than Jeffrey Loria

Marlins fans can be forgiven for waking up every morning and thinking, "It can't possibly get any worse than this." The team has the worst record in baseball, the franchise is a rather un-hilarious joke and Loria is less popular than Castro. But oh, it can get worse. The consensus right now is that ... More >>

The Screwball Economics of Major League Baseball

As another season begins, MLB faces an unsustainable future — and you're picking up the tab.

MLB Steroid Scandal: What's Next for New Times

Ryan Braun, Francisco Cervelli Confirm They Were Tony Bosch's Clients

On Tuesday, a week and a day after Miami New Times published online a report describing hundreds of pages of records from the office of a Coral Gables clinic, Biogenesis, the first professional baseball players have acknowledged involvement with owner Anthony Bosch. In statements issued Tuesday to ... More >>

Jack Reacher: Tom Cruise Reaches and Scores

Gay Athletes Go Public

Miami Marlins Keep Lying About Stadium

Marlins Give Second Chance to Adam Greenberg, Beaned In His Only MLB At-Bat

Sports teams are like Hollywood movies: sometimes they can be so bad they're actually good. Such is the case with the Miami Marlins, who are quickly becoming the Snakes on a Plane of professional baseball. More than seven years ago, Adam Greenberg was called up by the Chicago Cubs for his first MLB ... More >>

Marlins Facebook Account Hacked with Promise of "Free Pit Bull" Night

Earlier today, someone hacked into the Facebook accounts of several Major League Baseball teams and the Marlins were not spared. For a brief moment, the Marlins Facebook page promised the first 10,000 fans in attendance at the next game that they'd receive a free "fighting pit bull."

The Franchise Episode 3 Recap: Crappy By Committee

Three episodes into The Franchise, shit is already getting all kinds of depressing. After two episodes of ups and downs and HEY LOOK AT OUR NEW STADIUM! wackiness, the Marlins are in a tail spin, out of the playoff hunt, reverting to a closer by committee to cover up Heath Bell's dookie-filled- ... More >>

The Franchise Episode 2 Recap: LoMo Meets His Hero & Lo Viste

It's fitting that the same day big trade rumors involving Heath Bell and Hanley Ramirez surface, episode two of The Franchise is pretty much framed around a trade deadline discussion roundtable with Jeffery Loria, Larry Beinfest and their DERP lackeys (or maybe the Marlins PLANTED those rumors as a ... More >>

Ozzie Guillen Wishes He Was Erik Spoelstra

While the Miami Heat paraded down Biscayne Boulevard on Monday, hoisting their trophy from the top of double-decker buses, all Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen could do was watch. He'd been there before. Once as a member of the coaching staff of the 2003 Marlins, and again as the manager of the Chicago ... More >>

Heat Fans Go Nuts As LeBron, Wade and Bosh Clinch A Title (Video)

All across the Magic City this Thursday night, pots are getting wrecked by spoons, more car horns are getting leaned on than rush hour on the Dolphin and every half-decent bar is passing around shots of Jameson in honor of Bron Bron. Your Miami Heat are 2012 NBA Champions. We'll keep this post ... More >>

Cuban Baseball Agents: Risks and Lies

Marlins Park Scores Big With Unusual, Gourmet Twists on Ballpark Cuisine

Miami Marlins Opening Day Cake: Swarovski Crystals and Guava

Sometimes the Publix Bakery just doesn't cut it. Jeffrey Loria, owner of the Miami Marlins, commissioned an opening day cake to celebrate the April 4 inaugural game (in which they lost to the St. Louis Cardinals, by the way). About a month ago, Loria placed a phone call to the good people at Divine ... More >>

Marlins Park: Key Lime Chicken Tacos and Fresh Yogurt

Driving down SW 17th Avenue Wednesday, you couldn't help but notice crowds gathering to christen the Miami Marlins' new stadium. Lingering about their driveways with signs that read "15 dolares" were the first local citizens to benefit from the taxpayer investment."We're expecting this stadium t ... More >>

Marlins Ruin Baseball, Announce Friday Night Live Concerts Starring Daddy Yankee, LL Cool J and Others

​Like water draining from a home plate backstop aquarium, the little respect we have left for the Florida Miami Marlins continues to dwindle. Enraging fans has seemingly become a common practice among the organization's front office--robbing Miami-Dade County taxpayers, a "horrifying" home run s ... More >>

Albert Pujols Reportedly Offered a Nine-Year, $225 Million Contract By Marlins

​For a team that has had one of the lowest payrolls in the past few years and claimed they could only spend $155 million to build their own stadium, the Miami Marlins certainly seem to have a lot of money to be throwing around all of the sudden. After reports surfaced yesterday the team had offere ... More >>

Herman Cain Heading To Versailles This Week To Pretend He Cares About Cuban Issues

A candidate making a pit stop for cafecitos at Versailles isn't exactly hot news, even for a guy improbably still leading the GOP after a month fending off more sexual harassment accusations than Gene Simmons' tongue. The Cuban landmark is such a de facto stopover for White House wannabes, the regul ... More >>

Is This the Miami Marlins Uniform Jose Reyes and Albert Pujols Will Wear Next Year? UPDATED

via a tipster​The Marlins will officially unveil their new logo and uniforms tonight at 9. (That they didn't hold the event at 11:11 this morning seems like a loss, but oh well.) The logo and alleged mockups of the uniforms have already leaked, but Uni-Watch apparently has the first actual picture ... More >>

Albert Pujols Coming to Marlins, According to Celebrity Rehab Patient Doc Gooden

​Are the Marlins about to go on a free agent spending spree that would make the Heat blush? Doc Gooden, the slightly disgraced former pitching star who appeared on the fifth season of Celebrity Rehab, reports (apparently exclusively) on his Twitter that Albert Pujols, one of the best players ... More >>

Miami Marlins to Host 2012 MLB Season Opener at New Stadium

​This year's Major League Baseball season isn't over, but for the Florida Marlins, it pretty much is.In fact, the Florida Marlins are technically pretty much over. Next year, they'll be in that new stadium with a new name, and the MLB has announced that the team will play the very first game of th ... More >>

Twitter Is Confused About Miami Marlins Name Change

A fan-made "Miami" logo. (Yes, the Marlins have some fans.)​The condition that the Florida Marlins change their name to the Miami Marlins as part of the deal for their new stadium has been well known locally for years. But the baseball-loving world at large (which we assume does not care much abou ... More >>

Jack McKeon Managing Against the Children of His Former Players

McKeon managed John Mayberry back when chew was healthy.​A new chapter of the Jack McKeon Is Really Old Chronicles was written last night: The 80-year-old Marlins manager skippered a game against the son of a player he managed in the early 1970s.John Mayberry was the Kansas City Royals' hard-hitti ... More >>

Classless DeShawn Stevenson Arrested For Being Drunk and Lost

Stevenson reportedly could not bail himself out with the stupid $5 bill tattooed on his stupid throat.​Dallas Maverick and all-around shitty person DeShawn Stevenson done got himself arrested. What a pity.Stevenson, who called the Miami Heat "classless" after game 6 and then showed up in Dallas th ... More >>

Shocked By Fact They Don't Suck This Year, Florida Marlins May Make Trades To Suck Even Less

​The dozen or so people who can make a serious claim to being true Florida Marlins fans are stoked that his may be the year for the Florida Marlins! The year the team finally loses a playoff series! The Fish currently have a .574 record. That's the fourth best in the entire MLB, and the team looks ... More >>

Don't Worry, Brandon Marshall, You Didn't Make Our Top 10 Stupidest Athlete Injuries of All Time

miamidolphins.comBrandon Marshall, just the latest athlete to get injured under strange circumstances.​"If you prick a baller, does he not bleed?" -- William ShakespeareProfessional athletes are finely tuned machines: millions of dollars' worth of ESPN-highlight-generating speed, torque, power, an ... More >>

Yasiel Balaguer, 18-Year-Old Cuban Baseball Defector, Trying Out for Seattle Mariners

Michael E. MillerYasiel Balaguer​According to his agents, 18-year-old Cuban baseball prodigy Yasiel Balaguer will have his second tryout with a Major League Team this week when scouts for the Seattle Mariners watch the right-handed pelotero in action here in Miami."I was on the Cuban youth nationa ... More >>

Cuba Could Let Baseball Stars Play Overseas -- But Don't Expect U.S. Defections To Stop

The Pittsburgh Pirates have already offered this hot young shortstop a $4 million deal.​From Livan Hernandez to Vladimir Nunez, the underground pipeline of Cuban baseball studs fleeing their homeland for MLB fortunes has always run through the Magic City. As a star in Cuba's national league, a pla ... More >>

Garrett Wittels: Keeping the Streak Alive

Shard of Broken Bat Impales Cubs' Tyler Colvin During Marlins Game

​A freak accident at Sun Life Stadium Sunday has put the Chicago Cubs' rookie outfielder Tyler Colvin in the hospital with a season-ending injury. Colvin was on third base during the second inning when teammate Wellington Castro's maple bat broke and sent a large shard into Colvin's chest. Yeah, a ... More >>

Marlins Catcher Ronny Paulino Suspended for Taking Diet Pills, Allegedly

Ronny Paulino in his former Pirates gear​Marlins catcher Ronny Paulino is not exactly the slimmest slugger on the roster. Like a trophy housewife he often struggles with his weight, and decided to take the easy way out and get some pharmaceutical help. That's his story anyway. Paulino claims the w ... More >>

Mike Stanton Is Your NL Player of the Week

​Marlins rookie outfielder Mike Stanton was named NL Player of the Week. He was given the honor after bludgeoning the Nationals and Reds collective pitching staffs last week using only his bat and his boyish good looks. Stanton collected a total of eight hits and six RBI in a three-game series aga ... More >>

Comedy of Errors

Hanley Being Hanley

Hugo Tandron, Ex-Con, is the Marlins' official barber

The Ten Creepiest Paintings by Serial Killer John Wayne Gacy

This week, Riptide told you about Stephen Koschal, the Brickell memorabilia detail who's been the world's leader in selling art by executed serial killer John Wayne Gacy (we have no idea what's going on in the comments section of that story, by the way). Today we bring you the ten creepiest prison- ... More >>

Brickell resident Stephen Koschal peddled serial killer John Wayne Gacy's creepy paintings

Stephen Koschal, the Creepiest Man in the Memorabilia Industry, Is a Proud Miamian

A Brickell dealer made a career out of selling creepy Gacys like this. In the early '90s, serial killer John Wayne Gacy spent his days on death row creating extraordinarily creepy paintings of clowns. So memorabilia dealer Stephen Koschal wrote the murderer in prison and offered to be his agent. Br ... More >>

Baseball agent Juan Ignacio Hernandez Nodar returns to Miami after 13 years in a Cuban prison

If Hanley Hits a Homer, Does It Make a Sound?

Hot Fish

Hey, the Marlins are in first place! That’s right!

Willy Chirino’s Way

Salsa, baseball, and fireworks at Dolphin Stadium

Night&Day

Basshead

Marianela

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