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Blogs
May 11, 2012
Ozzie Guillen Heckled by Houston Astros Fans Dressed as Fidel Castro
It's been one month since Marlins skipper Ozzie Guillen infamously muttered his undying love for Fidel Castro. And even though Guillen apologized and the Marlins say the matter is done and dusted, the incident apparently remains pretty raw for the Marlins manager. Earlier this week, Guillen cus ... More >>
Blogs
May 8, 2012
Ozzie Guillen on Backlash: "Fucking Grow Up, Motherfucker"
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can't keep Guillen's mouth shut for long, even as he's trying to put the incident behind him. In ... More >>
News
April 19, 2012
Cuban Baseball Agents: Risks and Lies
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can't keep Guillen's mouth shut for long, even as he's trying to put the incident behind him. In ... More >>
Culture
April 19, 2012
A Quest for Theater and Art at Marlins Park
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can't keep Guillen's mouth shut for long, even as he's trying to put the incident behind him. In ... More >>
Dining
April 12, 2012
Marlins Park Scores Big With Unusual, Gourmet Twists on Ballpark Cuisine
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can't keep Guillen's mouth shut for long, even as he's trying to put the incident behind him. In ... More >>
Calendar
April 12, 2012
Take Me Out
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can't keep Guillen's mouth shut for long, even as he's trying to put the incident behind him. In ... More >>
News
March 29, 2012
Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can't keep Guillen's mouth shut for long, even as he's trying to put the incident behind him. In ... More >>
Blogs
March 27, 2012
New Marlins Stadium Food and Lunacy: Body Painting With Sazon
Somewhere between the new tax-payer-funded stadium, Romero Britto drama, and the ridiculous sculpture with somersaulting marlins, we mustered up the curiosity to see what the Marlins Park kitchens will be whipping out.So throw on those rose-colored glasses, folks. The Miami Marlins, who open thei ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2012
Marlins Will Outbid Everyone to Land Cuban Defector Yoennis Cespedes
Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>
Blogs
January 5, 2012
Carlos Zambrano Joins Ozzie Guillen In Miami, Giving Marlins 93 Percent of MLB's Crazy
The Miami Marlins inked a deal last night for once-explosive, possibly still insane Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano. With Ozzie Guillen already signed on to manage the club, the two most unhinged personalities in baseball will call Little Havana home next season.Scientists contacted by Riptide are stil ... More >>
Blogs
December 6, 2011
Albert Pujols Offered 10-Year Contract by Marlins
SEC probes and baffling aesthetic choices aside, the Miami Marlins really do deserve credit for keeping good on their promise of upping their payroll and making the team a serious contender. A day after adding prized shortstop Jose Reyes, ESPN is reporting that the Fish have made a 10-year contra ... More >>
Blogs
September 27, 2011
Albert Pujols Coming to Marlins, According to Celebrity Rehab Patient Doc Gooden
Are the Marlins about to go on a free agent spending spree that would make the Heat blush? Doc Gooden, the slightly disgraced former pitching star who appeared on the fifth season of Celebrity Rehab, reports (apparently exclusively) on his Twitter that Albert Pujols, one of the best players ... More >>
Blogs
August 3, 2011
McKeon's Musings: The Marlins Skipper Shares His Thoughts on the Debt Ceiling
Riptide is pleased to announce the hiring of Jack McKeon, the 80-year-old interim manager of the Florida Marlins, as an interim semi-regular columnist. His first topic: the debt ceiling. I was on the bullpen phone with Corny the other day when he said the damndest thing. Apparently, there's ... More >>
Blogs
July 15, 2011
Marlins Win Six in a Row, Leave Cubs Closer with ERA of Infinity
Trader Jack, full of pride.It looked like the Fish were going to lose this one. Down 2-0 against the Chicago Cubs going into the ninth at Wrigley Field, there didn't seem to be much hope. Then Cubs closer Carlos Marmol came in.His first three batters saw a combined 12 balls and one strike. With M ... More >>
Blogs
July 11, 2011
Baseball All Star Frituras Antidote To Midsummer Snub Of Hispanics
Armando MarsansRafael Almeida and Armando Marsans made their major league baseball debut with the Cincinnati Reds on July 4, 1911. Both men were Cuban -- and as the national pastime was segregated back then, Reds management made sure to remind fans these players were purebred Spaniards with ... More >>
Calendar
June 30, 2011
Astro-nomical Flop
Armando MarsansRafael Almeida and Armando Marsans made their major league baseball debut with the Cincinnati Reds on July 4, 1911. Both men were Cuban -- and as the national pastime was segregated back then, Reds management made sure to remind fans these players were purebred Spaniards with ... More >>
Blogs
June 24, 2011
Florida Marlins Not First Baseball Players To Be Spooked By Ghosts At St. Petersburg's Vinoy Hotel
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
Calendar
May 26, 2011
Wisconsin Roulette
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
News
May 5, 2011
Six lies about the Marlins stadium
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
Calendar
May 5, 2011
Unlovable Losers
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
Calendar
April 7, 2011
Pittsburgh's Black Sheep
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
Calendar
April 7, 2011
Pittsburgh's Black Sheep
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
Blogs
February 18, 2011
Top Ten Sports Cheaters of All Time: From Steroid-Pumpers to Ball-Grabbers
Soccer player Vinnie Jones executing a clever "ball tackle"For more than a week, Riptide has brought you the shady plays that have turned Krop High School into a basketball powerhouse: recruiting players, inventing addresses, changing official records, and -- of course -- threatening journalists. ... More >>
Blogs
December 29, 2010
Cuba Could Let Baseball Stars Play Overseas -- But Don't Expect U.S. Defections To Stop
The Pittsburgh Pirates have already offered this hot young shortstop a $4 million deal.From Livan Hernandez to Vladimir Nunez, the underground pipeline of Cuban baseball studs fleeing their homeland for MLB fortunes has always run through the Magic City. As a star in Cuba's national league, a pla ... More >>
Calendar
September 9, 2010
Kings of Crap
The Pittsburgh Pirates have already offered this hot young shortstop a $4 million deal.From Livan Hernandez to Vladimir Nunez, the underground pipeline of Cuban baseball studs fleeing their homeland for MLB fortunes has always run through the Magic City. As a star in Cuba's national league, a pla ... More >>
Blogs
August 18, 2010
Mike Stanton Is Your NL Player of the Week
Marlins rookie outfielder Mike Stanton was named NL Player of the Week. He was given the honor after bludgeoning the Nationals and Reds collective pitching staffs last week using only his bat and his boyish good looks. Stanton collected a total of eight hits and six RBI in a three-game series aga ... More >>
Calendar
July 29, 2010
Rookies to the Rescue
Marlins rookie outfielder Mike Stanton was named NL Player of the Week. He was given the honor after bludgeoning the Nationals and Reds collective pitching staffs last week using only his bat and his boyish good looks. Stanton collected a total of eight hits and six RBI in a three-game series aga ... More >>
Blogs
June 4, 2010
Florida Marlins Win Four-Game Series Against Milwaukee Brewers
Denis BancroftNL Rookie of the Year Chris Coghlan Your Florida Marlins finished a four-game series with the Milwaukee Brewers last night. After a tough battle with the Phillies last weekend, including having a perfect game thrown against them (where was Jim Joyce then?!?) the Fish went all Samuel ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2010
Riptide Presents the All-Asshole Major League Baseball Team
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
May 20, 2010
Hanley Being Hanley
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
April 1, 2010
Big League Chew
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
August 6, 2009
Does the Marlins’ Deck Have a Wild Card?
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
July 30, 2009
Hit the Disco Ball out of the Park
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
July 2, 2009
Florida Wood Versus Pennsylvania Iron
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
June 25, 2009
I’m the Ross
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
June 11, 2009
Mascot Wars
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
June 4, 2009
Searching for Answers
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
May 28, 2009
Reality Check
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
April 30, 2009
It’s a Bear Market for Baseball
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Calendar
August 14, 2008
Kicking Ass, Eating Ice Cream
This Marlins/Cubs game is all about the kids.
Calendar
August 7, 2008
Fear the Comeback Kids
The Marlins lead the league in come-from-behind wins.
Calendar
May 1, 2008
Hot Fish
Hey, the Marlins are in first place! That’s right!
Calendar
April 24, 2008
Mash Unit
The Florida Marlins are finding their way in a post-Cabrera world.
Calendar
April 3, 2008
Who Are Those Guys?
The Florida Marlins are finding their way in a post-Cabrera world.
Calendar
March 20, 2008
Take Me Out to the Ballgame
Before it gets too hot outside!
Calendar
August 2, 2007
One for the Team
You can’t miss Craig Biggio, and neither can that fastball
Calendar
September 21, 2006
Go Fish!
Our Fish can survive a Reds tide
Calendar
August 24, 2006
There’s No Joking in Baseball
Our Fish can survive a Reds tide
Calendar
July 13, 2006
Who Are These People?
Our Fish can survive a Reds tide
Calendar
May 18, 2006
Battle of Who Sucks the Most
Our Fish can survive a Reds tide
More >>

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