NFC West

Stephen Ross Claims Tony Sparano "Damaged" the Miami Dolphins

What the hell exactly is a wrong with Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross? This is a guy who saw the public outrage over the Marlins stadium debacle, and almost immediately begins his own ill-timed campaign to seek public funds for a stadium upgrade. He's also apparently a guy who can't understand why an em ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Would Allow County to Back Out of Stadium Deal If They're Not Awarded a Super Bowl

The Miami Dolphins are so confident the NFL is going to hand them a Super Bowl in May they've announced today that they'd let the county back out of any stadium renovation deal if Miami isn't picked as a host.

Heat Wins 14th Straight, Rallies to Beat New York 99-93

Down 16 in the first half to the Heat's most hated rival, it looked as if Miami's 13-game winning streak was in a boatload of trouble. Good thing for the Heat it happens to have the B.O.A.T., AKA the man Pat Riley calls the "Best of All Time." Captain Cobra Dick to the rescue, once again. Hissssssss ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Stadium Renovation: A Political Insider's Guide

Give Stephen Ross props. He stepped up to Norman Braman one billionaire to another and slapped him across the face with a clean white glove. With a full page ad undermining Braman's credibility in Tuesday's edition of the Miami Herald, Ross let Braman know he's got the cash to parry any attacks the ... More >>

Miami's Best Youth Football Team Beats Violence, Gambling, Turmoil, and Opponents

Jets Might Hire Dolphins Assistant GM Brian Gaine as Their New GM, Which Should Work Out Well For Them

If there was one silver lining to the NFL season for Dolphins fans this year, it was the fact that while our team might have been mediocre at best, at least we weren't the laughing stock the New York Jets became this year.They've fired their General Manager Mike Tannenbaum, and sort of surprisingly ... More >>

Gay Athletes Go Public

Fire Jeff Ireland Watch: Living on Borrowed Time

Every week, Riptide's crack team of employment termination scientists gauge just how fireable loathed Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland has become following his latest series of horrific blunders. So how close is the Ginger Menace to getting canned this week?Yes, the Dolphins managed to outlast ... More >>

Dolphins Pull Out Win Against Bengals Despite Abysmal Officiating

In a game that featured absolutely putrid calls on the field by the recently-returned "professional" refs, the Dolphins managed to hold off the Cincinnati Bengals for a 17-13 win. An overall sloppy game for both teams was sealed when safety Reshad Jones intercepted Andy Dalton with 1:22 left in the ... More >>

The Ten Most Famous University of Miami Dropouts

Lots of successful people have degrees from the University of Miami. Everyone from Gloria Estefan to, like, 10 percent of the NFL. But some of the school's most famous former students never graduated -- either opting to transfer or quit college altogether. Current UM kids, don't take this as inspira ... More >>

King of Diamonds: How America's Favorite Black Strip Club Won Its Crown

Click for King of Diamonds cover shoot outtakes.

Jonathan Vilma, One of Nevin Shapiro's Alleged Bounty Hunters, Banned For a Year

Jonathan Vilma, the superstar linebacker from Coral Gables who figured prominently in Nevin Shapiro's University of Miami scandal, has been suspended for an entire year by the NFL for his role in another major football-related debacle.The New Orleans Saints star allegedly helped his former defensive ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Cornerback Vontae Davis's Brother Arrested, Suspected in D.C. Murder

After 29 years of questionable first-round draft picks, the Miami Dolphins picked up Texas A&M Quarterback Ryan Tannehill at yesterday's NFL Draft.  For fans and players alike, the day should've been a celebration, a glimmer of hope that the Dolphins' upcoming season wouldn't end miserably. ... More >>

Miami Dolphins: The Worst Franchise in the NFL

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be. In this special edition, Luke laments the epic fall of Miami's storied NFL team.It is a tragedy what is going on with the Miami Dolphins. One of the most suc ... More >>

Manning to Miami Rumors: No One Knows What the Hell They're Talking About, But It's Not Looking Good

​How big of a mess is the Manning mania rumor mill? Well, depending on who you ask, the Miami Dolphins are either still very much in the running to land Peyton Manning's services or completely out. Let's run down the rumors. Updated!

Sorry Dolfans, Peyton Manning Is Not Your Next Dan Marino

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>

Will Stephen Ross Prevail in Landing Peyton Manning for Miami?

​Since taking control of the Miami Dolphins, team owner Stephen Ross has set his eye on a lot of things.He wanted a superstar coach with head coaching experience. He got an unproven offensive coordinator. He wants a Super Bowl. All he's got is a first-round playoff exit. He wants public cash for a ... More >>

Circumcision activists square off against thousands of years of tradition

Dolphins Ready to Throw Tons of Money at Jeff Fisher

​The Miami Dolphins are ready to go all in on hiring former Titans coach Jeff Fisher. However, he has attracted the interest of other teams searching for a coach, including the St. Louis Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fins owner Stephen Ross is ready to outbid any team for Fisher's services. That ... More >>

Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!

​Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>

Tony Sparano Crowned Second Least Popular Coach Among NFL Players

​Don't feel bad about not having much love for Dolphins coach Tony Sparano. NFL players don't like him much either.The Sporting News polled 111 current players on which coach they'd least like to play for, and Sparano came in second, just one vote behind NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin.

The Dolphins Nearly Pulled It Off This Time. Honestly!

The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>

Joe Rose, Jorge Sedano, Sid Rosenberg are racists

Jacory Harris Deserves Credit and an Apology For Racially Biased Sportswriting

​Luther "Luke" Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell wonders when Jacory Harris will get his due.The sports media in South Florida is really one-sided. None of the ... More >>

Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the Miami Dolphins should hire John Gruden as head coach.  The only way Miami Dolphins owner Stephen ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Will Suck Again This Year

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>

Plaxico Burress: A Good Fit for the Dolphins?

​Dolphins fans have a right to be concerned about Brandon Marshall's play last season and the legal situation stemming form his wife stabbing him in the gut with a kitchen knife, but is the best solution to that really signing a guy who just got out of a jail yesterday after serving two years for ... More >>

Seven Reasons the Miami Heat Deserve to Finish off the Boston Celtics

​The Miami Heat travel to Boston tomorrow to try and begin finishing off the Boston Celtics in round two of the NBA playoffs. Yet, the team still can't shake it's perception of the villains, and lots of Heat haters will be rooting for the Celtics to pull off a comeback out of spite. Yet, the histo ... More >>

Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL

​How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Reportedly Interested in Signing Randy Moss

Moon over Miami? ​Randy Moss sure has had a weird season. The day after the Patriots came to Miami and handed the Dolphins their dorsal tails, he was cut from the team. He ended back in Minnesota, where he just didn't gel with Brett Favre (not that anyone wants to "gel" with Favre lately). Today t ... More >>

Luke's Gospel: Teaching Warren Sapp and Michael Irvin to avoid dangerous ladies

Teaching Warren Sapp and Michael Irvin To Avoid Dangerous Ladies

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Up this week, Luke dissects how superstar athletes fall for the pussy trap.I have to give credit to the Miami-Dade State Attorney's Office f ... More >>

More Gerald Posner Plagiarism in Miami Babylon, From New Times, PBS, and Many Others

Back on March 16, Riptide broke the news that South Beach-based author Gerald Posner's latest book, Miami Babylon, had stolen eight passages from Frank Owen's 2003 work Clubland. photo by Bill Cooke New Times and a doctoral student have found more than a dozen new instances of plagi ... More >>

Cartoon Creator's Grisly Murder

Curious George director Alan Shalleck's curiosity killed him.