When you're up against Peyton Manning and the (no longer?) best offensive team in NFL history, the odds might seem slim when it comes to winning the Super Bowl. But not for the Seattle Seahawks. With a final score of 43-8, not even Manning, with his all-time touchdown skills (55 end-zone passes thi ... More >>
Every year there is a Super Bowl. Every year, for the past 31 years, the Miami Dolphins have not been in that Super Bowl. So every year we're left deciding what team we're going to nominally root for that night. In fact, over the past few years Riptide has used a highly secret, semi-patented mathe ... More >>
Ryan Braun was the first big star to go down thanks to links to Miami-based, PED-pushing clinic Biogenesis. Now a new lawsuit filed by a former friend suggests that the Milwaukee Brewers sluggers had used steroids ever since his college days at the University of Miami. The suit also claims Braun acc ... More >>
As another season begins, MLB faces an unsustainable future — and you're picking up the tab.
The NFL's free-agency period begins this Tuesday, March 12, and your Miami Dolphins -- with about $36 million in cap space -- are poised for one of the biggest offseasons in franchise history. Naturally, there's a good chance they'll fuck it up, but here are the five free agents the Dolphins should ... More >>
This Sunday the Dolphins travel to Indianapolis to play the Colts and Andrew Luck -- the girl many Dolphins fans wanted to take to the prom, but she was too unattainable so she laughed in our faces in front of the whole cafeteria as chocolate milk sprayed out of our nostrils in embarrassment.Let's l ... More >>
Jonathan Vilma, the superstar linebacker from Coral Gables who figured prominently in Nevin Shapiro's University of Miami scandal, has been suspended for an entire year by the NFL for his role in another major football-related debacle.The New Orleans Saints star allegedly helped his former defensive ... More >>
Brandon Marshall is no longer a Miami Dolphin as of about 4 p.m. yesterday, and perhaps this is part of the reason why: Marshall is accused of punching a woman in the face this weekend after getting into a scuffle at a New York City nightclub.
How big of a mess is the Manning mania rumor mill? Well, depending on who you ask, the Miami Dolphins are either still very much in the running to land Peyton Manning's services or completely out. Let's run down the rumors. Updated!
Dolphins owner Stephen Ross said shortly after firing Tony Sparano that he'd be looking for a "young Don Shula." So it sort of surprised us when he went all-in on the pursuit of Jeff Fisher. The man is certainly no young Don Shula. Jeff Fisher is, well, an old Jeff Fisher. So we're not exactly he ... More >>
Jason Taylor played in the final game of his career yesterday. And what better way for him to go out than to bang the New York Jets' season right in its ear hole, and send them back home with nothing. The Jets, needing a win (and a little help) to get into the playoffs, came into SunLife Sta ... More >>
Brisco says: "That rocked!""We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream." -- Willy Wonka "You can say to this mountain, 'May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. You can pray f ... More >>
All season long we heard Brandon Marshall going to bat for Chad Henne during press conferences and post game interviews. No matter how shitty Henne played, Marshall insisted that the duo would be a force to be reckoned with once their chemistry got right. Well now that the season is all but ... More >>
For a while it seemed that the Miami Dolphins had a good shot at being the third team this season to claim the talents of Randy Moss. Then, decision day came around and the 'Fins didn't even put in a claim for the controversial, but talented receiver. They could have had him if they bothered to ... More >>
Straight Cash, Homie Remember those rumors and reports saying the Miami Dolphins were interested in acquiring Randy Moss after the Minnesota Vikings released him? There were even reports the Dolphins contacted Moss earlier this week. LIES! ALL LIES!!
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains Miami Beach's plans to price-gouge African-Americans and put them in jail during Memorial Day weekend.Miami ... More >>
Will hip-hop studio king of the world Timbaland someday be Mr. Universe?