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Blogs
May 21, 2012
Jacory Harris Cut from Philadelphia Eagles
Quarterback U? Not anymore. It seems Jacory Harris' NFL fate is starting to look like a lot of other recent former University of Miami quarterbacks, as Harris was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles' roster just ten days after having been signed by the team.
Blogs
May 11, 2012
Jacory Harris Signs with Philadelphia Eagles But Will He Ever Make It?
Detractors could point to the saga of Jacory Harris as a prime example of why prospective players shouldn't sign with the Miami Hurricanes. At one point he was a buzzed about potential superstar in the making. No one blinked an eye when terms like "Heisman dark horse" and "Future NFL QB" were b ... More >>
Blogs
March 16, 2012
Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino
How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2012
Will Stephen Ross Prevail in Landing Peyton Manning for Miami?
Since taking control of the Miami Dolphins, team owner Stephen Ross has set his eye on a lot of things.He wanted a superstar coach with head coaching experience. He got an unproven offensive coordinator. He wants a Super Bowl. All he's got is a first-round playoff exit. He wants public cash for a ... More >>
News
March 1, 2012
ESPN's Skip Bayless is the king race-baiter
Since taking control of the Miami Dolphins, team owner Stephen Ross has set his eye on a lot of things.He wanted a superstar coach with head coaching experience. He got an unproven offensive coordinator. He wants a Super Bowl. All he's got is a first-round playoff exit. He wants public cash for a ... More >>
Blogs
February 28, 2012
Skip Bayless is a Modern Day Minstrel
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke crowns ESPN talking head Skip Bayless the king of race baiting.I've got to hand it to Skip Bayless for articulating so we ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Who Should Miamians Root for in the Super Bowl: The Patriots or the Giants?
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
News
February 2, 2012
Superagent Drew Rosenhaus should give back to Miami's black communities
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
Blogs
February 2, 2012
Super Bowl XLVI: Miami's Top 10 Affordable Places To Watch It or Take Out
One of the teams competing for the holy grail of football is the New York Giants, who are really from New Jersey. That's pretentious. The other team, the New England Patriots, presumably represents all six states of the region. This is like the Miami Dolphins calling themselves the Southeaster ... More >>
Blogs
January 31, 2012
Drew Rosenhaus Is the Gordon Gekko of Sports Agents
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke expresses his anger at the guy who inspired Jerry Maguire.So-called sports superagent Drew Rosenhaus has made millions of ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2012
Five Freaky Republican Presidential Candidates' Doppelgängers
The nationwide comedy tour known as the Republican presidential race is in Florida this week. Over several months, rich candidates have perfected the game of politics in their quest for the Republican Party's nomination and the chance to go up against President Barack Obama in November. Pr ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2012
Dez Bryant Denies He Has a Problem with Lil Wayne, Sort Of
So we know that Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was in some sort of altercation outside LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau on Saturday, and that's, well, about it. Rumors, aided by a Miami Herald reporter, suggested that the altercation somehow involved Lil Wayne. Though, this morning Bry ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2012
WSVN Still Fighting with DirectTV, but Subscribers Will Get to See American Idol and NFL
If you're a DirectTV subscriber in South Florida you haven't been able to see Fox since last weekend. That's because Sunbeam Television Corp., the owners of Fox affiliate WSVN, are locked in a battle with DirectTV over the amount of money the satellite provider pays the station. That means ... More >>
Calendar
December 15, 2011
On Wings of Poop
If you're a DirectTV subscriber in South Florida you haven't been able to see Fox since last weekend. That's because Sunbeam Television Corp., the owners of Fox affiliate WSVN, are locked in a battle with DirectTV over the amount of money the satellite provider pays the station. That means ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too
The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Dolphins Fan Knocked Out by Sucker Punch in Stadium Lot Fight (Video)
We all know times are tough for Dolphins fans, but that's no reason to turn against each other. A brutal sucker punch unleashed by one Dolphins fan against another was caught on video in the parking lot of Sun Life Stadium after yesterday's loss against the Philadelphia Eagles. Way to keep it cla ... More >>
Blogs
December 2, 2011
Igor Olshansky Arrested on Pot Charges a Day After Being Released from Dolphins
Former Miami Dolphins defensive end Igor Olshansky was having a bad week. A calf injury forced him to miss the Thanksgiving Day game against the Cowboys, and the team rewarded him by releasing him on Wednesday. All the dude wanted to do was get a little high after a tough work week, but the ... More >>
Blogs
November 28, 2011
Martorano's Meatball-Eating Contest at Seminole Hard Rock December 10 (Recipe Included)
Adrian Morgan, second from left, begins to chow down at a recent eating contest.'Tis the season to be overeating --- and shamelessly stuffing your face with tasty meatballs. Maybe even putting some major jingle in your pocket. Fort Lauderdale's Café Martorano will hold a meatball eatin ... More >>
Blogs
November 25, 2011
Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day
Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>
Blogs
November 14, 2011
Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!
Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>
Calendar
November 3, 2011
Fins or Skins
Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>
Blogs
October 31, 2011
The Dolphins Nearly Pulled It Off This Time. Honestly!
The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>
Blogs
October 3, 2011
Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!
The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>
Calendar
August 25, 2011
Once Undefeated
The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>
Blogs
August 12, 2011
Chad Henne Is the Worst-Ranked Starting QB in the NFL
Lest you think Miami Dolphins fans were being overdramatic in their disappointment that the team couldn't get a starting quarterback better than Chad Henne, we now have cold, hard rankings to back our whining. USA Today ranked all 32 teams' starting quarterbacks, and Henne came in 31st out of 32. ... More >>
Blogs
June 14, 2011
Santana Moss' Miami Gardens Dry Cleaning Business Sued for $300K
A Miami business wants to take former Hurricanes star and current Washington Redskin player Santana Moss to the legal cleaners. The owners of a Miami Gardens shopping center claim that a dry cleaning business, operated by one of Moss's relatives and partially owned by the football star, owes almo ... More >>
Blogs
May 18, 2011
Skyboxx, Magazine Devoted to Miami Heat, Fails Miserably
The story of the circus surrounding the Miami Heat was as much about the media as it was about actual basketball. ESPN gave LeBron James an entire hour to announce his "decision," and then devoted an entire section to his team. Esquire launched an entire blog about James. Every pageview-hungry sp ... More >>
News
May 12, 2011
Letters from the issue of May 12, 2011
The story of the circus surrounding the Miami Heat was as much about the media as it was about actual basketball. ESPN gave LeBron James an entire hour to announce his "decision," and then devoted an entire section to his team. Esquire launched an entire blog about James. Every pageview-hungry sp ... More >>
Blogs
May 3, 2011
Leonard Hankerson is Super Pissed He Didn't Go Higher in the Draft
For the third straight year not a single University of Miami player was selected in the first round of the NFL draft, which is a bit of a sore point for a team that still holds the record for most consecutive NFL drafts with at least one player taken in the first round. Especially considering tha ... More >>
Blogs
February 4, 2011
Five Super Bowl Halftime Moments That Totally Sucked
Steven Tyler and Britney Spears ... That totally sucked.We know you're gearing up for the big game this Sunday. Maybe you're actually washing your Ben Rapistburger jersey for the first time all season, or polishing your cherished wedge of cheesehead. Whatever you're doing, you're getting pumped ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2011
Dolphins to Interview Former Canes Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski
With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>
Blogs
December 28, 2010
Pressure on Dolphins to Draft First Round Quarterback For First Time Since 1983
No team in the NFL has gone as many years without drafting a quarterback in the first round than the Miami Dolphins. The last time they did the year was 1983 and the man was Dan Marino, which, of course, made drafting a quarterback not much of a concern for much of the next two decades. Thoug ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2010
Mary Sue Candies: Easter is Right Around the Corner
Christmas is barely over and while most of us are recovering from a sugar rush food coma, the folks at Mary Sue Candies have their eyes set on Easter. For the next four weeks they will pump out candy-filled eggs by the tens of thousands every day to fill store shelves in time for the Easter bunny ... More >>
Calendar
November 25, 2010
Tuna Melt
Christmas is barely over and while most of us are recovering from a sugar rush food coma, the folks at Mary Sue Candies have their eyes set on Easter. For the next four weeks they will pump out candy-filled eggs by the tens of thousands every day to fill store shelves in time for the Easter bunny ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2010
LeBron James Would Rather Watch Kenny Powers Than His Dallas Cowboys
For reasons that probably make more sense than they should LeBron James' favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. He's a diehard, apparently. Thing is the Cowboys suck something fierce this season, to the point that they just fired their coach. In fact, James can't even watch them anymore. H ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2010
Dolphins' Fan Base Ranked 19th for Enthusiasm, But They Do Know How to Party
viaInsane Dolphan PosseJust because we'd rather sit on the beach listening to the Dolphins game on the radio or checking the score on our iPhone doesn't mean we aren't real Fins fans, right? OK, the Miami sports fan stereotype of a bandwagoner who'd rather spend their Sunday afternoon watching th ... More >>
Blogs
September 30, 2010
Bill Parcells Says He's Not Retiring, May Not Stay With Dolphins
Just before the start of the season Dolphins vice president of football shocked fans by announcing he was handing over all of his duties to General Manager Jeff Ireland. While he still remains as a "consultant" to the Dolphins and his contract with the team runs through the 2011 season, comments he ... More >>
Blogs
September 3, 2010
Canes Dominate, Dolphins Not So Much
If Florida A&M's goal was to come out and get completely annihilated in the most humbling way imaginable, then mission accomplished because The U came out and crushed the Rattlers 45-0 last night. The defense recorded eight sacks, Jacory Harris tossed three touchdowns, Leonard Hankerson caugh ... More >>
Blogs
August 12, 2010
Dolphins Rank Near Bottom of "Most Successful" NFL Franchises for 2009
via KillustrationsSad dolphins. What makes an NFL team successful? For the coach, players and fans it means winning games. For the owner and front office it also means making lots of money. According to a new analysis from Portfolio.com, your Miami Dolphins ranked near the bottom in both&nbs ... More >>
Blogs
July 23, 2010
Dolphins Defensive Lineman Phillip Merling Is Out for the Season
Miami Dolphins defensive end Phillip Merling's off-season of misfortunes has gone from bad to worse. Merling was arrested in May for punching his pregnant girlfriend, and just this week he was formally charged with felony battery for the incident. Now comes news that Merling suffered an ... More >>
Blogs
May 26, 2010
Albert Haynseworth Allegedly Knocked Up Stripper He Met in Miami
We warned you that strippers would be coming from all across the country buring last February's Super Bowl, and they did. What we didn't warn you in our "Super Bowl guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida" was that it is probably not the best idea to knock up one of these ... More >>
Blogs
April 22, 2010
NFL Draft Live-Blog
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
January 21, 2010
That's So Fandom
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
November 12, 2009
He’s as Scary as the Other Jason
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
News
December 18, 2008
Bet on Norman Braman
Miami's most cantankerous billionaire could win by TKO.
Calendar
November 20, 2008
Defying Expectations
Miami's most cantankerous billionaire could win by TKO.
Calendar
November 22, 2007
Riled
Heat coach wants to suit up? What if...?
Calendar
September 13, 2007
It’s Not Even Monday Night Yet
Heat coach wants to suit up? What if...?
Calendar
March 30, 2006
Defensive Block Party
Heat coach wants to suit up? What if...?
More >>

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