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Blogs
February 28, 2012
Delonte West Finally Clarifies He Didn't Sleep with LeBron's Mom
Perhaps no sports gossip in recent memory has persisted as long and as strong as the rumor that LeBron James' mom Gloria had an affair with her son's former Cleveland Cavaliers teammate Delonte West. In part, the rumors stuck around so long because no one involved was exactly denying it, but now ... More >>
Blogs
January 18, 2012
LeBron Goes Off, Heat Win, All is Well
It took three games and a half of shitty basketball, but the Miami Heat finally got their mojo working in the second half of last night's game, and eventually blew away the visiting San Antonio Spurs 120-98.With a hobbled Dwyane Wade unable to play on his birthday, it was up to LeBron James and Chri ... More >>
Calendar
January 12, 2012
Zoned Out
It took three games and a half of shitty basketball, but the Miami Heat finally got their mojo working in the second half of last night's game, and eventually blew away the visiting San Antonio Spurs 120-98.With a hobbled Dwyane Wade unable to play on his birthday, it was up to LeBron James and Chri ... More >>
News
December 29, 2011
Mavericks charter schools don't live up to big promises
It took three games and a half of shitty basketball, but the Miami Heat finally got their mojo working in the second half of last night's game, and eventually blew away the visiting San Antonio Spurs 120-98.With a hobbled Dwyane Wade unable to play on his birthday, it was up to LeBron James and Chri ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2011
Miami Heat are Vegas's 2-to-1 Favorite to Win NBA Title
With the exact makeup of NBA's post-lock out rosters unknown, making any super informed predictions about the upcoming abbreviated season is sort of a shot in the dark. Though, with Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh on the Heat, picking them to win the NBA championship is likely your best bet ... More >>
Blogs
November 26, 2011
Heat to Take on Mavericks on Christmas Day as NBA Deal Tentatively Reached
It's a holiday miracle! NBA players and owners have reached a tentative deal to save the NBA season. Training camp and the free agency period will begin on December 9, with the first games to start on Christmas day. That means that the previously scheduled December 25 match up of the Heat vs. the ... More >>
Blogs
July 19, 2011
2011-12 Heat Schedule Released: Mavs Rematch Set For Christmas Day
The NBA has released its 2012 schedule (assuming the lockout doesn't delay play), and the Miami Heat will kick off its season at Madison Square Garden against the Knicks. The team will also be working on Christmas Day this year in an NBA Finals rematch against the Dallas Mavericks in an away game ... More >>
Blogs
July 18, 2011
Chris Bosh Got Hitched at the Fontainebleau This Weekend
via Global GrindDespite the fact that he may have gotten legally married to Adrienne Williams shortly before the playoffs, Chris Bosh made it official this weekend with a lavish ceremony at the Fontainebleau on Miami Beach. (Yes, the same place where the Mavs celebrated their finals win.) Unlike ... More >>
Blogs
June 29, 2011
J.J. Barea Open to Signing With The Heat
Dirk Nowitzki may have walked away with the finals MVP award after the Dallas Maverick's drubbing of the Miami Heat, but he couldn't have done it without the explosive play of J.J. Barea. That fact was made all the more painful because Barea is a graduate of Miami Christian and a former Miami-Dad ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2011
Mark Cuban Pastes Photo of Mavericks Hoisting Finals Trophy in Legal Argument
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has been sexin' his team's championship trophy every night. He said that Dallas fans "punked the shit out of" Miami Heat fans, using a phrase mostly unknown outside of the 12-year-olds-hangin'-at-Orange-Julius crowd. And now, as reported by our sister paper, ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2011
Classless DeShawn Stevenson Arrested For Being Drunk and Lost
Stevenson reportedly could not bail himself out with the stupid $5 bill tattooed on his stupid throat.Dallas Maverick and all-around shitty person DeShawn Stevenson done got himself arrested. What a pity.Stevenson, who called the Miami Heat "classless" after game 6 and then showed up in Dallas th ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2011
The Wonderful Dallas Fans: Highlights from the Comments Section
"We won the championship! That means we get to threaten people on the Internet!"It was an innocent post: Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson got arrested when he was found drunk in an apartment complex. If he hadn't called the Heat "classless" earlier this week, there probably wouldn't have been a ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Dallas Mavericks Go Clubbing on South Beach With Championship Trophy
Terrence JenkinsA man who appears to be Mavs owner Mark Cuban hoists the Larry O'Brien Trophy at a Miami Beach nightclub. Shit.Well, insult has been definitively added to injury. After they stomped the Miami Heat 105-95 in game 6, the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks -- and owner Mark Cuban -- went ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 6: Kaput
After winning Game six 105-95, the Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat are left with a shitload of questions, LeBron James will continue to be haunted by his Finals failure, and Heat fans everywhere are walking around feeling like their favorite uncle just placed his wie ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Las Vegas Odds Makers: Heat Favored to Win 2012 Finals
Let's hope you didn't burn any of your Miami Heat championship party decorations last night, because according to Las Vegas odds makers, Dwyane Wade and company are already the frontrunners for the 2012 finals. Apparently winning last night hasn't made Dirk Nowitzki and his Dallas Mavericks favor ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 5: On The Brink
After the giant mound of ostrich shit that was LeBron James' 8-point performance from Game 4, he called Game 5 the biggest of his career. The world then waited for LeBron to come out in Game 5 and serve the Mavericks a can filled with ass whoopin'. Instead, Heat fans got served a can filled with ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Four Facts To Help You Fake Your Way Through an NBA Finals Conversation
Wikimedia Commons user steenslagA clown cries after getting mocked for asking what time the Celtics game was on.The Heat are down 3-2. Dwyane Wade has a busted hip. LeBron James had a triple-double and still, somehow, looked horrible. It was a bad night.But it doesn't have to be a bad day, too. C ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Lil Wayne Hangs With the Miami Heat, Preps MTV Unplugged, and Plans Massive Party at Cameo Tomorrow
We obsessed with Weezy!If you follow Lil Wayne's every word, whisper, tweet, or bowel movement with the same kind of psycho obsession as Crossfade, then we suggest you get a life, a little professional help, and maybe even some medication. It's ruined our life. And it can ruin yours too. But if ... More >>
News
June 9, 2011
Jason Terry's tattoo shows he has more balls than brains
We obsessed with Weezy!If you follow Lil Wayne's every word, whisper, tweet, or bowel movement with the same kind of psycho obsession as Crossfade, then we suggest you get a life, a little professional help, and maybe even some medication. It's ruined our life. And it can ruin yours too. But if ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 4: LeTurd
Well, shit. The Miami Heat must really love blowing fourth-quarter leads, because the team did it again last night in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, allowing the Dallas Mavericks to win the game 86-83 and tying the finals.Meanwhile, LeBron James had the worst performance of his playoff career. Dwyane ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2011
Dirk Nowitzki Is Hollywood as Hell Too
Dirk NowitzkiUncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Luke explains how the NBA commissioner is assisting Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki.The Heat hater brigade loves to h ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2011
"Udonis Haslem," O'Grime, and Metro Zu Say: "F%$# the Mavericks, Bitch!"
A friendly message for the Mavs.The last time Crossfade got weird with the O'Grime boys, we bumrushed a Taco Bell, scrubbed ourselves down with Mexican meat, and wasted $400 on 15 minutes with a stripper slathered in nacho cheese. In a word, it was awesome. And really, there's only one scenario ... More >>
Blogs
June 6, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 3: MV3
Nothing screams "I Am A Righteous Ass Kicking Machine" quite like overcoming one of the NBA Finals worst collapses, an officiating crew that absolutely refused to call any fouls for you but insisted on blowing the whistle if you so much as breathed on the giant German, and having one of your team ... More >>
Blogs
June 6, 2011
Lakers' Ron Artest Picks Heat to Win In 4 or 5 or 6 or Not At All
Ron Artest, the NBA's favorite halftime-boozing, riot-inducing maniac, has gotten quite interested in this year's NBA Finals -- unencumbered by playoff obligations of his own, he's been making predictions for a week despite not knowing what day the games are on or what city they're being pla ... More >>
Blogs
June 4, 2011
The Dallas Mavericks: Hometown Heroes of the Most Backward State in the Union
Jason Kidd, circa 1987For game 3 of the NBA Finals against the Mavericks, the Miami Heat will be going on the road and into unpleasant territory. Not just unpleasant for opposing professional sports teams -- we're talking bad for everybody.There has been plenty of good-natured trash talk bouncing ... More >>
Blogs
June 2, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks: We're Going to Grill Them (In Barbecue) UPDATE
Beef - it's not just a game.UPDATE: City of Ate, our sister food blog over at the Dallas Observer, respectfully disagrees.Tonight's second Finals face-off between the Miami Heat and the Dallas Mavericks at the American Airlines Arena (ours not theirs, dummy) is the hottest ticket in town. M ... More >>
Blogs
June 2, 2011
Pepe Billete's Top Five Reasons The Miami Heat Will Win The NBA Title
Oye, Guanabacoa's most famous resident since Rick Sanchez is guaranteeing the Miami Heat will pick up its second Larry O'Brian trophy in the NBA Finals.In his latest YouTube video, Pepe Billete explains why the Dallas Mavericks suck ass while partaking in one of his favorite past times. We've loo ... More >>
News
June 2, 2011
Five reasons Miami is better than Dallas
Oye, Guanabacoa's most famous resident since Rick Sanchez is guaranteeing the Miami Heat will pick up its second Larry O'Brian trophy in the NBA Finals.In his latest YouTube video, Pepe Billete explains why the Dallas Mavericks suck ass while partaking in one of his favorite past times. We've loo ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Heat vs. Mavs: Joe's Stone Crab Better Than Cholesterol-Filled Beef
Stone crab at Joe's.The Miami Heat obliterated the Dallas Mavericks last night, busting Dirk Nowitzki's finger and pretty much ending the series in the first game. But even more important: A bet between Joe's Stone Crab and the Dallas Chop House. A hundred pounds of fatty disgusting ribeye steak ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Dallas Mavericks vs. Miami Heat Game 1: Winning Time
If you're a fan of low scoring games, low-percentage shooting and sleep depravity, then Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the game for you!LeBron James scored 24 while Dwyane Wade added 22 and Chris Bosh went for 19 as the Miami Heat took down the Dallas Mavericks 92-84 to take the first game of the b ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Prank Calling Six Miami Bars and Strip Clubs Where You Should Go Watch the Heat vs. Mavs
Photo by Mike Ehrmann via heat.comKick ass and get drunk with Udonis and the Heat.Pour us another IPA. All this ass kickin' is making us thirsty. By ass kickin', we mean basketball. And by thirsty, we mean drunk. What can we say, Miami loves a team that wins, and right now The Heat are putting ... More >>
Blogs
May 31, 2011
Heat-Mavericks Rivalry Getting Religulous
Archbishop Wenski, is going to wash down a Miami Heat victory with Dallas BBQ and pecan pie.These days, everyone is weighing in on the rivalry between the Miami Heat and the Dull-ass Mavericks. Even God.As the Pope's duly appointed representative in South Florida, Archbishop of Miami Thomas Wensk ... More >>
Blogs
May 26, 2011
Five Reasons Miami Is a Better City Than Dallas
The Dallas Mavericks earned a spot in the NBA Finals Wednesday night with their 100-96 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder, which means once the Heat finally put the Chicago Bulls out of their misery tonight, all that stands between Miami and a national title is a shaggy, horse-toothed German and his ... More >>
Blogs
March 28, 2011
Heat Beat Rockets in Historic Fashion
With the NBA playoffs just a few weeks away, it's that time of year when we get a whole lotta Dwayne Wade and his towering deeds of heroic awesomeness all up in our faces. And even though D-Wade has made his name around these parts as a pretty righteous ass-kicker, it's comforting to know he's go ... More >>
Calendar
March 17, 2011
Blasting Rockets
With the NBA playoffs just a few weeks away, it's that time of year when we get a whole lotta Dwayne Wade and his towering deeds of heroic awesomeness all up in our faces. And even though D-Wade has made his name around these parts as a pretty righteous ass-kicker, it's comforting to know he's go ... More >>
Blogs
March 15, 2011
Heat Avenge 30-Point Loss to the Spurs With 30-Point Win
Just ten days ago, the Miami Heat were in the midst of a five-game losing streak that included a season sweep at the hands of the Chicago Bulls and a press conference where head coach Erik Spoelstra told everyone that his players were crying after a loss. In the mix was also a 30-point loss to th ... More >>
Calendar
March 3, 2011
Spurs of the Moment
Just ten days ago, the Miami Heat were in the midst of a five-game losing streak that included a season sweep at the hands of the Chicago Bulls and a press conference where head coach Erik Spoelstra told everyone that his players were crying after a loss. In the mix was also a 30-point loss to th ... More >>
Blogs
December 21, 2010
Mainstream Media is Free to Hate Again! Miami Heat's 12-Game Win Streak Snapped
Apparently, the Miami Heat are only able to beat the Dallas Mavericks if the two are playing in the NBA Finals. Dirk Nowitzki dropped 26 points while Jason Terry scored all of his 19 late in the fourth quarter as the Mavericks ended the Heat's 12-game winning streak in a 98-96 final Monday night. ... More >>
Calendar
December 9, 2010
Rivalry Renewed
Apparently, the Miami Heat are only able to beat the Dallas Mavericks if the two are playing in the NBA Finals. Dirk Nowitzki dropped 26 points while Jason Terry scored all of his 19 late in the fourth quarter as the Mavericks ended the Heat's 12-game winning streak in a 98-96 final Monday night. ... More >>
Calendar
December 2, 2010
Cavlier Attitude
Apparently, the Miami Heat are only able to beat the Dallas Mavericks if the two are playing in the NBA Finals. Dirk Nowitzki dropped 26 points while Jason Terry scored all of his 19 late in the fourth quarter as the Mavericks ended the Heat's 12-game winning streak in a 98-96 final Monday night. ... More >>
Blogs
November 11, 2010
As Heat Prepare for Celtics Tonight, Hater Schadenfreude Blows Up The Internet
Let's hate these three with everything we got. Ready? 1, 2, 3... HATE!!!The Miami Heat host the Boston Celtics tonight at the American Airlines Arena. But did you know Miami is 5-3 eight games into the 2010-11 NBA season? They are! And because they've turned into The Most Irrationally Reviled Tea ... More >>
Blogs
May 28, 2010
Ex-Heat Star Antoine Walker Files for Bankruptcy
via Wiki CommonWhile his ex-fiance Evelyn Lozada is living it up on the hit show Basketball Wives, former Heat star Antoine Walker has filed for bankruptcy. The forward helped the Heat secure their 2006 NBA championship, but his professional life has faltered ever since.The bankruptcy was filed last ... More >>
Calendar
January 21, 2010
Continued Heat
via Wiki CommonWhile his ex-fiance Evelyn Lozada is living it up on the hit show Basketball Wives, former Heat star Antoine Walker has filed for bankruptcy. The forward helped the Heat secure their 2006 NBA championship, but his professional life has faltered ever since.The bankruptcy was filed last ... More >>
Calendar
October 8, 2009
It’s Fall, Time to Ball
via Wiki CommonWhile his ex-fiance Evelyn Lozada is living it up on the hit show Basketball Wives, former Heat star Antoine Walker has filed for bankruptcy. The forward helped the Heat secure their 2006 NBA championship, but his professional life has faltered ever since.The bankruptcy was filed last ... More >>
Calendar
March 27, 2008
Curiouser and Curiouser
Bring your own subtext to Alice at The PlayGround Theatre.
Calendar
February 8, 2007
Burning Questions
Will the fire return to the Heat?
Calendar
December 14, 2006
That Really Stings
Will the fire return to the Heat?
Calendar
November 9, 2006
Paint Your Face
Sunday is for supporting your team
Calendar
January 19, 2006
The Heat Times Three
Sunday is for supporting your team
More >>

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