Subject:

NBA Southeast

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Scores 41 as Heat Advance to Eastern Conference Finals

    Remember when Dwyane Wade crapped the bed last week and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft.Wade dropped 41 points in Miami's 105-93 beatdown of the Indiana Pacers. MV3 scored 20 of his 41 in the second quarter, going 8-for-11 from the floor, and leading the Heat past what had bec ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 23, 2012

    Heat Take 3-2 Lead As Things Get Physical

    LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 58 points and the Miami Heat shot a franchise-best 61 percent from the field as they blew out the Indiana Pacers 115-83 last night. The series now heads back to Indiana with Miami up 3-2.But because this is the Miami Heat and because everyone needs a reason ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2012

    Miami Heat Watch Parties Tonight: Free Drinks at Haven, Wings at Moe's

    The Miami Heat play the Indiana Pacers tonight with an 8 p.m. tip-off. With a 2-2 tie, fans not lucky enough to have scored tickets will be glued to the television for this game.There are several options for you to get out and cheer on the team to white-hot victory. Here are a few of the places offe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2012

    Miami Heat Owe Taxpayers Millions, Dade County Inspector General Finds

    The Miami Heat owe Miami taxpayers millions in cost overruns to capital improvement projects on the American Airlines Arena. So says Miami-Dade Inspector General Chris Mazzella, in an audit report that hasn't been publicly released yet but which sources close to the review have confirmed to Riptide. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2012

    LeBron Makes History and D-Wade Bounces Back as the Heat Tie Series 2-2

    What's better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its own ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 18, 2012

    Mugshots Friday: The Lost Tenenbaum and Madam Ginger

    Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 18, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Implodes as Heat Fall Into 2-1 Hole Against the Pacers

    Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh's abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night's 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness ... More >>

  • Culture

    May 17, 2012

    Miami's Syndee Winters in The Lion King at the Arsht

    Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh's abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night's 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Heat Drop Game 2 to the Pacers

    Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Miami Heat's James Jones Get His Very Own Hypnotic, Stonerwave Music Video

    Are you a Miami sports fan who sometimes like to get high and look at weird things online (because if you come to Riptide for sports news, then you very well might be)? Well, it's been a good few weeks for you. Just after some weird "Dolphinception" video hit the web, we can now present you with thi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 15, 2012

    Heat vs. Pacers: Five Reasons Indiana Is the Butthole of America, From a Guy Who Lived There

    The Miami Heat take on the Indiana Pacers tonight in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. It promises to be a fine basketball contest. The Heat are without the advantage of Chris Bosh. LeBron James is gonna go cobradick, and Rony Turiaf has promised to do more dancing. Nobody knows who's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2012

    LeBron, D-Wade Rally Heat Over Pacers After Bosh Leaves With An Injury

    A lot happened before the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers even got their Eastern Conference semifinals going. For one thing, Pacers head coach Frank Vogel put on a fancy hat and proclaimed himself captain of the SS Douchetanic, and started inexplicably bitching about how the Heat are a bunch of floppe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2012

    Three Reasons the Miami Heat Will Knock Out the Knicks Tonight

    In Game Four between the Heat and the Knicks, LeBron and D-Wade seemed to decide their buddy 'Melo needed at least one win to save face in New York, so they downed some Quaaludes and let the Knicks have their way with them. How else to explain Wade missing seven of 11 free-throws? They are free, Dwy ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2012

    Heat Can't Sweep as Knicks Take Game Four

    The Miami Heat showed up to Madison Square Garden for Game 4 yesterday and, while they have plenty of fucks to give, they must have left them in their other jeans, because for three quarters the Heat played like they had none to give away. None fucks. And so the result was a 89-87 loss to the New Yo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2012

    LeBron Scores 17 in the Fourth, Chris Bosh Is a New Dad, Heat Takes 3-0 Lead Over Knicks

    In the annals of human history, people discuss three seminal events: the discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine, and LeBron James always punching the entire city of New York in the asshole. It seemed as if Madison Square Garden would be James's undoing last night. His first three quarters ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2012

    LeBron James Leads Heat in Blowout Over Knicks In Game 1 of Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

    For all the regular season ups and downs, accolades and drama, people celebrating in the streets with pots and pans when the Miami Heat won, people setting themselves on fire when they lost, the real NBA games that count finally got kicked off yesterday. And with everyone saying that the season will ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2012

    Miami Heat Fan Punches Phoenix Suns Gorilla Mascot

    A gorilla walks into a bar... Actually, it was a Dave & Buster's in Arizona. And technically, it wasn't a real gorilla. But the Phoenix Suns' back-up mascot did leave the arcade with a bloody nose after Miami Heat fan Timothy Austin decked him the face. According to the Arizona Republic, Robe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2012

    "Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say" Video Finally Exists

    Apparently, the "Shit ____ Say" video meme is still trudging along. Which means at this point in a meme's lifespan we wouldn't be drawing attention to any new entries unless they were pretty good. And this "Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say" video is pretty good.

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2012

    Heat Take Down Bulls In Chippy Affair

    Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 19, 2012

    Re-Heated Rivalry

    Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2012

    Miami Heat to Open Hyde Nightclub in American Airlines Arena

    The Dolphins have an outpost of LIV at Sunlife Stadium. The Marlins have a mini-Clevelander at their new park. Now, the Heat wants to get in on the in-stadium nightclub craze and is planning to open a new nightclub inside American Airlines Arena in time for next season.Unlike the other teams, howeve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2012

    LeBron James Scores 17 in the Final Five Minutes To Lead Win Over Nets

    Up until the last 50 seconds of last night's 101-98 win over the New Jersey Nets, the Miami Heat were flat out refusing to give a single fuck. Oh they had fucks. Had them stored away somewhere. Perhaps in a box inside a FedEx truck marked "playoffs." But they just weren't going to be giving any away ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2012

    Heat Sweep the Knicks, Win Southeast Division

    The Miami Heat went into Madison Square Garden yesterday for the first and only time this regular season, and proceeded to mash the spleens of the New York Knickerbockers to the tune of 93-85, snapping New York's nine-game home-winning streak, sweeping the season series against the Knicks and taking ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 13, 2012

    Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT

    Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 12, 2012

    Jordan’s Folly

    Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2012

    Heat Loses to the Celtics at Home, Falls Three Games Behind Number One Seed

    LeBron James scored a game-high 36 points last night, while the rest of the Miami Heat stood and watched as the Boston Celtics shot 60 percent from the floor in yet another listless-shit-the-bed-let's-all-go-outside-and-punt-a-litter-of-kittens-loss by the Heat.Rajon Rondo once again had his way aga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 6, 2012

    Tip Drill Makes Her Comeback Debut at Dream

    Tip Drill is back on the scene. Almost two months after a horrific fall while working the pole at King of Diamonds, Miami's most famous stripper was partying Wednesday evening at South Beach's Dream nightclub. The fete was looooooooseee!!!Dressed in all black hipster ensemble that included tights ri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2012

    LeBron James Leads Heat In Big Win Over the Oklahoma City Thunder

    Everybody can unclench their assholes now.The Miami Heat are fine.LeBron James decided to remind the world once again that he does, in fact, have the biggest dong of them all. Behind a 34 point, 10-assist performance, James led the Miami Heat to a 98-93 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder last night, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2012

    Rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin Invites Miami's Scorn with "Heat Hater" Video

    Last November, local aspiring rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin released a song blaming the NBA's "corrupt policeman" of a commissioner David Stern for the lockout.Now he's turned his white boy wrath on the Miami Heat, a move he admits is akin to wearing a "I (Heart) George Zimmerman" t-shirt to a Trayvon Ma ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 5, 2012

    Can We Start the Playoffs Already?

    Last November, local aspiring rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin released a song blaming the NBA's "corrupt policeman" of a commissioner David Stern for the lockout.Now he's turned his white boy wrath on the Miami Heat, a move he admits is akin to wearing a "I (Heart) George Zimmerman" t-shirt to a Trayvon Ma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2012

    Heat Clinch Playoff Berth With 16th Consecutive Home Win

    Weirdly enough, the Miami Heat only play like a bag of shit on the road, because they remain as dominant as ever at home. LeBron James dropped a season-high 41 points -- 15 in the fourth quarter -- as the Heat took down the Philadelphia 76ers 99-93 last night, winning their 16th straight home g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2012

    Heat Turns In Worst Offensive Performance of Year, Loses to Celtics

    ​The Miami Heat has been unstoppable at home since the All-Star break. On the road, however, the team has been a big, heaping pile of ass. And that was certainly the case yesterday during their 91-72 gag reflex of a loss to the Boston Celtics.Rajon Rondo recorded a triple-double against Miami's de ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 26, 2012

    Watch Orlando's Old Amway Arena Get Blown Up By 600 Pounds of Dynamite

    ​Say bye, bye to the Double A. Amway Arena, the original home of the Orlando Magic, was imploded this weekend. Naturally, everyone loves the site of a 367,000-square-foot building being blown up by 600 pounds of dynamite, so watch the video below.

  • Blogs

    March 23, 2012

    Local Activists Host "Carnaval to Unmask Carnival" Cruise Lines (Updated)

    ​South Florida activist group 1Miami is hosting a gathering this weekend in Hialeah and Little Haiti to bring Carnival Cruise Lines to the public's attention. They say Carnival is figuratively "sinking Miami." While most associate the cruise line with family memories, bad sunburns, and tanning oil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2012

    Heat Beats the Suns With a Furious Fourth-Quarter Comeback

    ​For pretty much the entirety of last night's game against the Phoenix Suns, the Miami Heat played basketball like old people fuck. Winners of their last four games, the Suns came in shooting lights-out and playing suffocating defense. Dwyane Wade was shut down by Grant Hill, while LeBron James wa ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 15, 2012

    Magic Formula

    ​For pretty much the entirety of last night's game against the Phoenix Suns, the Miami Heat played basketball like old people fuck. Winners of their last four games, the Suns came in shooting lights-out and playing suffocating defense. Dwyane Wade was shut down by Grant Hill, while LeBron James wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2012

    Big Four? Dwight Howard Interested in Miami Heat, Reportedly

    ​It's not a secret that Magic Center Dwight Howard won't be staying in Orlando much longer, and the saga of where he ends up may be the NBA's most dramatic decision since, well, LeBron landed in Miami. Could Howard's tale have the same ending? A Sports Illustrated reporter says that Howard has rea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 9, 2012

    The Miami Mascot Madness Tournament Final: It's Hurricane vs. Hurricane

    ​The time has come: we've now reached the grand championship match-up of our Miami Mascot Madness Tournament. Despite some close calls in Round One, the match-ups in Round Two were both total blowouts. In fact, when we started this tournament we would have never seen this coming: It's Sebastian th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2012

    LeBron, Wade and Udonis Publicly Recruit Peyton Manning, Also Beat the Hawks

    ​After struggling for most of last night's game against the Atlanta Hawks, the Miami Heat finally decided to stop dicking around and began to hit their shots and play their anaconda-style defense just in time to comeback from as much as 10 points and beat Atlanta 89-86.More importantly however, be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2012

    Chris Bosh Returns to the Heat, Proceeds to Destroy the Nets

    ​Sure, it was the Nets. And sure, they're amongst the worst defenses in the NBA. But holy shitsnacks, it was awesome seeing Chris Bosh back in the Heat fold, dropping his silky smooth jumpers in honor of his dearly departed GloJean and turning Kris Humphries into a human-sized lump of coal in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2012

    Heat Fall to the Lakers as Masked Kobe Drops 33

    ​Kobe Bryant and his broken face scored 33 points, as he and the Lakers took down the Miami Heat 93-83 yesterday, handing Miami their second consecutive loss.It was the first meeting between L.A. and Miami since Dwyane Wade inadvertently broke Kobe's nose during a hard foul in the All Star game la ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 1, 2012

    Winning With Wade

    ​Kobe Bryant and his broken face scored 33 points, as he and the Lakers took down the Miami Heat 93-83 yesterday, handing Miami their second consecutive loss.It was the first meeting between L.A. and Miami since Dwyane Wade inadvertently broke Kobe's nose during a hard foul in the All Star game la ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2012

    Traffic Apocalypse: Obama, Jeremy Lin and Emeril Will Destroy Your Commute Today

    ​Miami loves its bold faced names almost as much as it hates its traffic, and today the sheer amount of star power in town may very well overwhelm our roadways. Not only is the leader of the free world making a visit to Coral Gables today, but Linsanity comes to downtown while the South Beach Food ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2012

    In Miami Heat's Chapel, Jeremy Lin Prayed A Month Ago He'd Make the Knicks Squad

    ​It's hard to believe that just a month ago, Jeremy Lin was hanging on to his spot on the New York Knicks' roster by a mere thread. The struggling team was considering cutting him. He traveled with the team to Miami on January 27th. He didn't play a single minute in the game, but he did visit the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2012

    Linsanity Comes to Miami: Six Rules For Heat Fans to Avoid Being Horribly Racist

    ​Tomorrow night, the New York Knicks-- led by Asian American Harvard Grad™ Jeremy Lin-- come to Miami to take on the Heat. Lin's quick rise to prominence hasn't exactly brought out the best in America. Fox's Jason Whitlock made that penis size joke. ESPN had the "Chink in the Armor" headli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2012

    Heat Avoid Trap-Game by Beating the Kings, LeBron Does A Silly Dance

    The Miami Heat just won their seventh-straight game. Dwyane Wade has been a one-man wrecking ball during that time.And last night, in the Heat's 120-108 victory over the visiting Sacramento Kings, D-Wade brought his game to new ball-mashing mayhem heights, scoring 30 points on 11-of-16 shooting, get ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2012

    LeBron James Likes Appletinis, And Other Revelations From a Cleveland Waitress

    The world already knows that LeBron James is a shitty tipper, thanks to the investigative sleuths of the Cleveland Scene. A few years ago, that alt-weekly newspaper exposed that The King left a ten dollar gratuity on an $800 steakhouse bill for himself and teammates. Now the Scene has published th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2012

    Heat Win Sixth-Straight, Bill Clinton is Impressed

    ​Dwyane Wade blew the ass off of the Orlando Magic's defense yesterday, dropping 27 points on them and leading the Miami Heat to the 98-71 victory while former President Bill Clinton watched courtside doing that white-man's overbite thing he does when he sees something impressive. When these ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2012

    LeBron Says He's Not Planning On Leaving Miami Anytime Soon

    ​Yesterday, LeBron James said he could one day see himself playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers again. Predictably, that didn't go over too well with his current fans here in Miami, so James is on damage control today and promises he loves us and won't leave us. Yet, anyway.

  • Calendar

    February 16, 2012

    Cinco de Awesome

    ​Yesterday, LeBron James said he could one day see himself playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers again. Predictably, that didn't go over too well with his current fans here in Miami, so James is on damage control today and promises he loves us and won't leave us. Yet, anyway.

  • More >>
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