NBA Playoffs

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2014

    The Miami Heat Really Wants Second Place

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke addresses what's wrong with the Miami Heat before the big game against the Indiana Pacers. I love the Miami Heat, but right now Lebr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2014

    LeBron James' Troubled Ex-Stepfather Eddie Jackson Arrested for DUI in Miami Beach

    Eddie Jackson Jr. was once a father figure to a budding basketball genius named LeBron James, but he missed out on a chance to watch LeBron's debut in the NBA. Instead, he reported to the state pen to serve a three-year term for bilking more than $775,000 in a mortgage scam. After LeBron's mother br ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2014

    Pitbull and Ke$ha's "Timber": Why This Video Sucks

    [Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Right now, Pitbull's "Timber," featuring Ke$ha, is number two on Billboard and number one on my GTFOH chart. I don't remember the first time I heard this song -- it seems lik ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 28, 2013
  • Blogs

    June 4, 2013

    Heat Beat Pacers 99-76, Advance To Third Consecutive NBA Finals

    Sorry America, the Miami Heat aren't done. When they needed it the most, the Miami Heat played perhaps their most complete game of the series eliminating the Indiana Pacers with a 99-76 victory that was all of the exhales. LeBron James led all scorers with another classic MVP performance, scoring 32 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2013

    Miami Loses Home Court, Game One to Bulls 93-86

    Welcome to the 2013 NBA Playoffs, Miami Heat. Oh by the way, you just lost home court advantage. The Chicago Bulls came into Miami last night and shocked the Heat 93-86, taking Game 1 and at the same time putting the Heat on notice that this series will be anything but a cake walk. Once again Nate R ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2013

    Heat Take Commanding 3-0 Series Lead on Bucks With 104-91 Victory in Milwaukee

    The Miami Heat overcame a dismal first half Thursday night to defeat Milwaukee 104-91 to take a commanding 3-0 lead in this best of four series. Ray Allen came off the bench to score 23 points, hitting five of eight threes, while LeBron James finished with 22 points, six assists, and five rebounds. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 29, 2012

    Chris Bosh Out of the Olympics, Too

    In a perfect world, the Team USA Olympics basketball squad would have just been some super version of the Miami Heat. In reality, this year LeBron James will be the only Heat member to travel to London. A day after Dwyane Wade announced he'd forgo the games to get surgery, Chris Bosh's agent tells t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    June 28, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 22, 2012

    Miami Heat Win NBA Championship, Rick Ross Skips the Victory and Gets High in Jamaica

    Last night, Rick Ross sold out Miami, choosing to get high in the Caribbean over the Magic City and foregoing an opportunity to watch his Miami Heat win the NBA title. "I'm in Jamaica relaxing," Rozay tweeted just three hours before tip-off. "Smoke one." While puffing Kingston kush and kicking i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2012

    Dwyane Wade's Ex-Wife Arrested After Barricading Herself in Home With Sons

    The latest episode in Dwyane Wade's personal saga with his ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade couldn't have come at a worse time. In the midst of the NBA finals, Wade's lawyers have filed a petition to suspend Siohvaughn's right to visitation with their two sons following an incident this weekend that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2012

    Ace Hood's Miami Heat Tribute: "Team Heat, All Day, Back It Up With 20 Grand"

    See also "Ace Hood's Fisker Karma and Seven Other Hip-Hop Eco-Whips." Get ready for the Heat's return to Miami for the NBA Finals' Game 2 tonight by listening to Broward's own Ace Hood and "Elite," his tribute to El Fuego. The video consists of a bunch of playoff highlights (and at 27 seconds in, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2012

    Ray Allen Considering Signing with the Heat

    From being part of one big three to backing up another?Boston Celtics shooting guard Ray Allen's contract is up. If he doesn't end up back in green, ESPN New York reports that the ten-time All Star would heavily consider signing with the Heat. Apparently there aren't hard feelings that his team just ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2012

    Heat Overcome Rajon Rondo, Take Game 2 in OT

    The Miami Heat aren't going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 18, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Implodes as Heat Fall Into 2-1 Hole Against the Pacers

    Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh's abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night's 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Heat Drop Game 2 to the Pacers

    Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2012

    Metta World Peace Got Screwed By David Stern

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke stands up for Metta World Peace.I have a message for NBA overlord David Stern: Free Metta World Peace. The seven game suspension ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2011

    Full Miami Heat Schedule Released, Celtics Coming to Town for Home Opener

    ​Thanks to the lockout, there are 16 games fewer than usual, but the NBA has finally released the schedule for its shortened, 66-game season. As everyone already knows, the Heat will open with a Christmas Day rematch against the Dallas Mavericks. The Heat's home opener will go down two days la ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    Wade, James and Bosh to Host Charity All-Star Game at FIU

    Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh haven't played together since the last game of the NBA Finals, and with the lockout in full effect we weren't sure when it would happen again. That's about to change. The trio is expected to announce plan for a charity All-Star game at FIU on Octobe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2011

    Comparing Barack Obama to LeBron James Is the Latest Conservative Zinger

    ​Back in 2004, when Barack Obama allegedly compared himself to LeBron James, little did he know he'd be setting himself up for a string of conservative zingers that shows no sign of stopping. Former Florida Republican congressman turned MSNBC host Joe Scarborough became the latest right-winger to ... More >>

  • News

    August 18, 2011
  • Blogs

    July 19, 2011

    Bored, Locked-Out Dwyane Wade Tries His Hand at Selling Eye Surgery

    courtesy of Millennium Laser Eye CentersMiami Heat guard Dwyane Wade with Dr. Cory Lessner, the self-proclaimed "eye surgeon to the stars."​The NBA lockout is making people do strange things: Heat players are beating on little kids at basketball camps, Chris Bosh went and got himself MARRIED, and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2011

    Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 6: Kaput

    ​After winning Game six 105-95, the Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat are left with a shitload of questions, LeBron James will continue to be haunted by his Finals failure, and Heat fans everywhere are walking around feeling like their favorite uncle just placed his wie ... More >>

  • News

    June 9, 2011
  • Blogs

    June 8, 2011

    Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 4: LeTurd

    ​Well, shit. The Miami Heat must really love blowing fourth-quarter leads, because the team did it again last night in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, allowing the Dallas Mavericks to win the game 86-83 and tying the finals.Meanwhile, LeBron James had the worst performance of his playoff career. Dwyane ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 2, 2011

    Miami Heat and Food Trucks: Two Places to Watch and Eat

    Watch the game at one of two food truck roundups tonight.​Game two of the NBA finals is tonight and chances are you don't have a ticket. But you can still buy some from various resellers (courtside seats were going for around $14,000 on StubHub), or you can save your hard earned cash and wat ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2011

    Heat vs. Mavs: Joe's Stone Crab Better Than Cholesterol-Filled Beef

    Stone crab at Joe's.​The Miami Heat obliterated the Dallas Mavericks last night, busting Dirk Nowitzki's finger and pretty much ending the series in the first game. But even more important: A bet between Joe's Stone Crab and the Dallas Chop House. A hundred pounds of fatty disgusting ribeye steak ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2011

    The Philippines' Vice President is Praying the Heat Win

    ​The NBA Finals feels like Miami versus the World, but there's at least an entire other nation rooting wildly for the Heat: The Philippines. Yes, Coach Erik Spoelstra's mother is a native of the Pacific nation, and Spoelstra is the first Filipino-American head coach of any major North American pro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2011

    LeBron James Defends Jim Tressel

    ​LeBron James may be on the brink of winning Miami an NBA Championship. Man that'll feel almost as good as that time the Miami Hurricanes beat Ohio State in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl to take home the BCS Championship. Oh wait...James is seriously testing our Miami sports fan heart strings by choosing t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2011

    Eastern Conference Champions! F%$# Yea!

    ​Every single person that has ever uttered or written or tweeted or thought the word "LeBrick" can help themselves to a dick chipotle. Because with 3:12 remaining in the game, and the Heat down by 12, LeBron James obliterated the Chicago Bulls' vaunted defense like an ass-kicking machine with the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2011

    LeBron James Finally Apologizes to Cleveland

    It was a long time coming, but LeBron James finally apologized to the city of Cleveland last night after the Miami Heat beat the Boston Celtics in round two of the playoffs. James must have been in a bittersweet mood after vanquishing the Celtics. Sure, he's made it to the conference finals a couple ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2011

    Heat Playoffs: Celtics Strike Back

    The Douche Strikes Back!​After roughly 5,836 days in between games, the Miami Heat finally resumed their Eastern Conference semi-final series against the Celtics in Boston. The end result wasn't as awesome as Games 1 and 2, in that the Heat got creamed pretty badly.But the good news is Erik Spoels ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2011

    Heat Playoffs: LeBron & D-Wade Take Over, Heat Take 2-0 Lead Over Celtics

    ​Dwyane Wade did a vicious Euro-step crossover on Kevin Garnett that transcended all time and space, and left KG a smoking heap of charred douche. Moments later, Wade crossed over Ray Allen so badly, Allen simply crumpled onto the court like his spine was removed from his body.Later on, LeBron Jam ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2011

    Miami Heat Deals at DB, Chophouse & Oceanaire -- Beans Are for Losers

    Lesley ElliottDB's cavatelli with crispy pork belly. ​Tonight , the Miami Heat takes on the Celtics in game 2 of the NBA finals eastern conference semifinals (at 7 p.m.). Local restaurants DB Bistro Moderne, Chophouse and Oceanaire are hailing the team with high-end menu specials and freebies on g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2011

    Heat Playoffs: Heat Close Out 76ers, On To Boston

    ​Dwyane Wade scored 26, Chris Bosh added 22 and LeBron James finished two assists shy of a triple-double in last night's 97-91 win over the Philadelphia 76ers.But, more importantly, we finally have the answer to the who should have the ball in his hands with the game on the line at crunch time? qu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 16, 2010

    A Short Heat History Lesson: The 2006 Championship Team Started at 6-4 Too

    Do people not understand how the NBA works? What is with all these supposed fans throwing up their hands in disgust and haters flying onto proverbial supercarriers and hoisting a "Mission Accomplished" banner? Yeah, the Heat are sitting at 6-4. It's not a great record by any means, but it's not exac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2010

    As Heat Prepare for Celtics Tonight, Hater Schadenfreude Blows Up The Internet

    Let's hate these three with everything we got. Ready? 1, 2, 3... HATE!!!​The Miami Heat host the Boston Celtics tonight at the American Airlines Arena. But did you know Miami is 5-3 eight games into the 2010-11 NBA season? They are! And because they've turned into The Most Irrationally Reviled Tea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2010

    NBA Playoffs: The Heat Takes a First-Round Exit

    ​Led by sharp-shooting Ray Allen's 24 points, the Boston Celtics put the Miami Heat away last night 96-86, closing out the series and ending the Heat's season and OH MY GOD, DWYANE WADE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!It's the Heat's second straight first-round exit. In fact, the team hasn't taken a playoff ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 21, 2010

    Game Two of the NBA Playoffs: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics: Epic Fail

    ​In a game that could only described as "refried ass, " the Miami Heat were walloped by the Boston Celtics 106-77 in last night's game two of the first round NBA Playoffs. The Heat managed to keep things close in the first quarter, rebounding after a slow start and even managing to take the lead f ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 15, 2010
  • Blogs

    June 3, 2009

    20-Cent Chicken Wings At 8-Oz. Burger Bar

    During the NBA Finals between the Orlando Magic and LA Kobes, 8 oz. Burger Bar's Alton Road and Ocean Drive locations will be offering chicken wings for twenty cents apiece -- and $3 draft beers. Seems as though 8-oz. may be suffering from some sort of Susan Boyle Syndrome -- the place wins the New ... More >>

  • News

    April 23, 2009

    Isiah Who?

    From the Knicks to the Golden Panthers. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2009

    What Really Happened at Isiah Thomas's FIU Press Conference

    Berkman ushered in the new era with the words, "I'd like to personally welcome Isiah Thompson."

  • Calendar

    April 2, 2009
  • Blogs

    August 15, 2008
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    May 3, 2007
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    April 12, 2007
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    March 29, 2007

    This Is Why They’re Hot

    A friendly reminder from your Miami Heat

  • Calendar

    March 30, 2006
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