Oh, so it's a dunk contest you want America? Well then, by all means, a dunk contest you shall have! LeBron followed up a day of butt hurt talking heads bashing him for not participating in their silly, outdated, doesn't count, nobody will remember in a week exhibition with a real live in-game disp ... More >>
Good morning! While you were asleep last night, the Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Clippers played future basketball, where people can fly, only dunks count, and playing defense is frowned upon. The Dunk counter ran out of batteries in this one, because all of the dunks happened, all shapes and size ... More >>
So how would you feel about losing LeBron James if it meant getting rising star Blake Griffin in return? ESPN wants you to think about it. Because they're going to run the LeBron free agency story into the ground almost as severely as everything Tim Tebow, ESPN's website is running a story today ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court Stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some relationship advice for a famous celebrity couple. Kanye West is arguably the most entertaining rap artist in the world. Even when you are hat ... More >>
The best thing you can say about the Miami Marlins is that they're not technically the worst. The Houston Astros have a worse record and TV ratings, and the Tampa Bay Rays have lower attendance. So when ESPN magazine decided to rank every professional franchise in all four major North American spo ... More >>
Dozens of news vans surrounded Arthur Jackson III's church on Sunday, but the TV crews didn't stick around long when the pastor announced that Trayvon Martin's mother wasn't coming. Sybrina Fulton didn't show up at the Antioch Missionary Baptist Church's services because she was still processing Geo ... More >>
A warning: Don't fuck with the Heat. Unless you wanna get burned. And then chased outta town by a rabid mob of hard-core Dade County sports fanatics, led by a freakish orange-haired mascot with a miniature green basketball for a face. Of course, Lil Wayne don't listen to nobody. So ever since getti ... More >>
The Miami Heat are worth a cool $625 million, according to the latest NBA team valuations by Forbes.com. That's up 307 percent since last year, or almost $200 million since 2012 when the team was valued at $427 million. Apparently that championship made a big difference.
OK, it's been established the Heat are crappy on the West Coast during the regular season. We get it.The Miami Heat fell 107-100 to the Los Angeles Clippers last night on a night where Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh were nowhere to be found and very little fucks were to be given after the first half.
There's nothing worse than looking at photos and videos from other people's boring vacations, but those people usually aren't the Miami Heat. The defending champs are in China right now to play two preseason games against the LA Clippers, and the team, coaches and dancers (yes, even the dancers!) to ... More >>
The Miami Heat might be the most successful team in town right now, but the Dolphins still reign supreme in terms of most valuable franchise. Forbes.com has listed the world's most valuable sports teams. The Fins came in 22nd overall, but the Heat didn't even make the cut.
Well, South Florida is a retirement hot spot, so maybe it makes sense that all of these NBA veterans are showing interest in joining the Heat. Plus, the pre-retirement package comes with a pretty good shot at a ring or two.Following 36-year-old Ray Allen's decision to jump ship and take his talents ... More >>
From being part of one big three to backing up another?Boston Celtics shooting guard Ray Allen's contract is up. If he doesn't end up back in green, ESPN New York reports that the ten-time All Star would heavily consider signing with the Heat. Apparently there aren't hard feelings that his team just ... More >>
A gorilla walks into a bar... Actually, it was a Dave & Buster's in Arizona. And technically, it wasn't a real gorilla. But the Phoenix Suns' back-up mascot did leave the arcade with a bloody nose after Miami Heat fan Timothy Austin decked him the face. According to the Arizona Republic, Robe ... More >>
It may be the best athlete food endorsement since "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Slim Jim, or it could be the worst since Mike Tyson and Pepsi, but Dunkin' Brands Inc. announced Monday that LeBron James will promote pork donuts, among other products, in China and elsewhere in Southeast Asia, accord ... More >>
LeBron James told the flu to go fuck itself, and then promptly became a righteous wrecker of ass, as he led the Miami Heat to their 98-87 beatdown of the L.A. Lakers last night. James, who dropped 31 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists, killed a baseball team owner, and made Kobe Bryant his own ... More >>
It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, NBA.com surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>
Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh haven't played together since the last game of the NBA Finals, and with the lockout in full effect we weren't sure when it would happen again. That's about to change. The trio is expected to announce plan for a charity All-Star game at FIU on Octobe ... More >>
Last week, the Minnesota Timberwolves' Kevin Love, perhaps eager to have anyone paying attention to him, said that pretty much every player in the NBA was celebrating the Miami Heat's NBA Finals loss and LeBron's collapse. Well, turns out that LeBron still has some defenders in the league outside ... More >>
After the giant mound of ostrich shit that was LeBron James' 8-point performance from Game 4, he called Game 5 the biggest of his career. The world then waited for LeBron to come out in Game 5 and serve the Mavericks a can filled with ass whoopin'. Instead, Heat fans got served a can filled with ... More >>
The NBA Finals feels like Miami versus the World, but there's at least an entire other nation rooting wildly for the Heat: The Philippines. Yes, Coach Erik Spoelstra's mother is a native of the Pacific nation, and Spoelstra is the first Filipino-American head coach of any major North American pro ... More >>
For all of that talk about how LeBron James was forever ruining his public image and marketability by spurning Cleveland to take his talents to South Beach, the man sure seems to have his business side on lock. In fact, he has the best-selling jersey of the season. James's new Heat number 6 jerse ... More >>
In ancient Greek, apocalypse translates as "a revelation." So what could possibly be more apocalyptic than the giant freaking orange moon due to pop up tomorrow night? After all, it's the biggest and closest it's been in nearly two decades. FYI: the "extreme supermoon" is also predicted to (1) ma ... More >>
The Miami Heat beat the Los Angles Lakers Thursday night 94-88, snapping a season-high five-game losing streak.Everybody can unclench their assholes now.After what has been a nightmare week for Heat fans, and an absolute delight for Heat Haters everywhere, Miami not only beat the defending champs ... More >>
It's been a while since the card-carrying members of the Miami Heat Hate Machine have had any real reason to hate LeBron James with all their might. Mostly, they've tried to twist his words into discourses of pure evil, or take a certain gesture or facial expression out of context all to shoehorn ... More >>
How awkward and tense have things gotten between the Miami Heat and Cleveland Cavaliers? Apparently it's so bad that the Cavaliers have changed their hotel plans in order to avoid bumping into the Heat. Both teams are on extended road trips on the West Coast. Both teams will be playing mid-week g ... More >>
What do you expect when you take kids who normally spend most of their time in the sleepy little mountain town of Blacksburg, Virginia, and put them in Miami for New Year's Eve? Probably not good things. In the lead up to tonight's Orange Bowl, eight players on the Virginia Tech football team hav ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recommends Pat Riley pull a Stan Van Gundy on Erik Spoelstra.Pat Riley needs to stop wasting time writing love poems to h ... More >>
Do people not understand how the NBA works? What is with all these supposed fans throwing up their hands in disgust and haters flying onto proverbial supercarriers and hoisting a "Mission Accomplished" banner? Yeah, the Heat are sitting at 6-4. It's not a great record by any means, but it's not exac ... More >>
LeBron James' decision to "take his talents to South Beach" seemed to be a marketing disaster, in the short run at least. For a while it seemed to be impossible to find a LeBron fan outside of South Florida. Surprisingly, though, his latest namesake sneaker, Nike's LeBron 8, is selling just fine ... More >>
Justin Timberlake made an appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno earlier this week to promote his new film Social Network. The conversation eventually turned to the NBA, where Timberlake proclaimed his beloved L.A. Lakers would pull off the Three-Peat this year. Leno then asked about how th ... More >>
Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>
In order to move forward on that wonderful "Slot Machines in the Airport" idea, the County Commission ok'd the Airport's pursuit of getting a horse racing permit. [SFBJ]Burn Notice star Jeffrey Donovan traveled to Tallahassee yesterday to ask that the government facilitate the filming of more televi ... More >>
Wade, ONeal, and Beasley take on the Bulls.
The Heat keeps finding ways to lose.
The Miami Heat looks to rebuild by moving its biggest piece.