NBA Pacific

The Heat's Winning Streak Hits 22, the Second-Longest Ever, With Victory Over Raptors

For a moment on this lazy Sunday afternoon in Toronto, it seemed as though it might all end for the Miami Heat exactly where it began. For a moment. With the game tied at 77 early in the fourth, the Heat turned on, well, the heat, blasting off on a 28-4 run to help secure a win for the 22nd straight ... More >>

Miami Heat Fans Attack Lil Wayne: "Nah, Meng! We Declare War on You! Go Home!"

A warning: Don't fuck with the Heat. Unless you wanna get burned. And then chased outta town by a rabid mob of hard-core Dade County sports fanatics, led by a freakish orange-haired mascot with a miniature green basketball for a face. Of course, Lil Wayne don't listen to nobody. So ever since getti ... More >>

Super-Bad Bobcats

Miami Heat Worth $625 Million: Sixth Most Valuable in the NBA

The Miami Heat are worth a cool $625 million, according to the latest NBA team valuations by Forbes.com. That's up 307 percent since last year, or almost $200 million since 2012 when the team was valued at $427 million. Apparently that championship made a big difference.

Wade, Bosh Disappear As Heat Downed By Clippers 107-100

OK, it's been established the Heat are crappy on the West Coast during the regular season. We get it.The Miami Heat fell 107-100 to the Los Angeles Clippers last night on a night where Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh were nowhere to be found and very little fucks were to be given after the first half.

LeBron James on Lakers Rumor: "I Don't Know Where it Came From"

Yesterday, ESPN ran a weird little piece of speculative fan fiction imagining the possibility of LeBron James ditching the Heat in 2014 to replace Kobe Bryant on the Lakers. It was a piece designed to cause controversy, more than, you know, report actual facts. 

Video: LeBron James and Miami Heat Conquer the Great Wall of China

There's nothing worse than looking at photos and videos from other people's boring vacations, but those people usually aren't the Miami Heat. The defending champs are in China right now to play two preseason games against the LA Clippers, and the team, coaches and dancers (yes, even the dancers!) to ... More >>

Forbes: Dolphins Are the 22nd Most Valuable Team in the World, Way More So Than Heat

The Miami Heat might be the most successful team in town right now, but the Dolphins still reign supreme in terms of most valuable franchise. Forbes.com has listed the world's most valuable sports teams. The Fins came in 22nd overall, but the Heat didn't even make the cut.

Report: Grant Hill Interested in Signing With Heat

Well, South Florida is a retirement hot spot, so maybe it makes sense that all of these NBA veterans are showing interest in joining the Heat. Plus, the pre-retirement package comes with a pretty good shot at a ring or two.Following 36-year-old Ray Allen's decision to jump ship and take his talents ... More >>

Ray Allen Considering Signing with the Heat

From being part of one big three to backing up another?Boston Celtics shooting guard Ray Allen's contract is up. If he doesn't end up back in green, ESPN New York reports that the ten-time All Star would heavily consider signing with the Heat. Apparently there aren't hard feelings that his team just ... More >>

Miami Heat Fan Punches Phoenix Suns Gorilla Mascot

A gorilla walks into a bar... Actually, it was a Dave & Buster's in Arizona. And technically, it wasn't a real gorilla. But the Phoenix Suns' back-up mascot did leave the arcade with a bloody nose after Miami Heat fan Timothy Austin decked him the face. According to the Arizona Republic, Robe ... More >>

Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain Onstage

LeBron James Promotes Pork Donuts and Ice Cream in China

​It may be the best athlete food endorsement since "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Slim Jim, or it could be the worst since Mike Tyson and Pepsi, but Dunkin' Brands Inc. announced Monday that LeBron James will promote pork donuts, among other products, in China and elsewhere in Southeast Asia, accord ... More >>

LeBron James Steamrolled Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Last Night (Video)

LeBron picks Loria up off the ground, after the bodyslam.​The best part of last night's game wasn't that LeBron James dropped 31 points, or that the Heat crushed Kobe's Lakers without Dwyane Wade. Honestly, the best part wasn't even when LeBron James absolutely pancaked Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey ... More >>

LeBron James Ain't Care: Battling the Flu, LBJ Dominates Lakers

​LeBron James told the flu to go fuck itself, and then promptly became a righteous wrecker of ass, as he led the Miami Heat to their 98-87 beatdown of the L.A. Lakers last night. James, who dropped 31 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists, killed a baseball team owner, and made Kobe Bryant his own ... More >>

NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Win Championship, LeBron Has Good Shot at MVP

​It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, NBA.com surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>

LeBron James Proposes to Girlfriend Before Lauryn Hill's South Beach New Year's Eve Bash

Photo by Seth Browarnik/WorldRedEye.comMs. Lauryn Hill and Nas serenading the James.​After two kids, a decade-long courtship, and zero NBA championships, LeBron James has finally asked high-school sweetheart Savannah Brinson for her hand in marriage. Having turned 27 years old approximately 24 ho ... More >>

Shaq at Wrestlemania: Big Man Mulls Return to Miami in Squared Circle

​Shaquille O'Neal is officially retired from the NBA, but the former Miami Heat star may not have exhibited his last feat of athleticism in Miami-Dade just yet. Today, O'Neal confirmed rumors from a few months ago that he's thinking about wrestling in a match when the WWE brings Wrestlemania to Su ... More >>

Shaq Criticizes LeBron in Latest Autobiography Excerpt

​A second round of excerpts from Shaquille O'Neal upcoming Autobiography have hit the web. In the first round, Shaq detailed his near-fight with Pat Riley, but in the latest the first Miami Heat messiah criticizes our current one, LeBron James.

Wade, James and Bosh to Host Charity All-Star Game at FIU

Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh haven't played together since the last game of the NBA Finals, and with the lockout in full effect we weren't sure when it would happen again. That's about to change. The trio is expected to announce plan for a charity All-Star game at FIU on Octobe ... More >>

The Philippines' Vice President is Praying the Heat Win

​The NBA Finals feels like Miami versus the World, but there's at least an entire other nation rooting wildly for the Heat: The Philippines. Yes, Coach Erik Spoelstra's mother is a native of the Pacific nation, and Spoelstra is the first Filipino-American head coach of any major North American pro ... More >>

Chris Bosh Sues To Keep His Ex, Allison Mathis, Off Basketball Wives Reality Show

​Chris Bosh hand-delivered a giant turd sandwich against the Boston Celtics this weekend, shooting three of ten from the field for 7 points. But cut the guy some slack. He may have had other battles on his mind.Bosh filed a lawsuit yesterday against his ex-girlfriend and a TV company in L.A. to pr ... More >>

The Heat's Road to the NBA Championship

​The day is almost here. After one of the most scrutinized regular seasons afforded to any team in just about all of NBA history the Miami Heat are set to platy their first play-off game with LeBron James and Chris Bosh joining Dwayne Wade in red and black tomorrow. They'll face off at home ag ... More >>

LeBron James' Jersey Is the Best Selling of the Season

​For all of that talk about how LeBron James was forever ruining his public image and marketability by spurning Cleveland to take his talents to South Beach, the man sure seems to have his business side on lock. In fact, he has the best-selling jersey of the season. James's new Heat number 6 jerse ... More >>

Supermoon Rising: This Week's Five Signs of the Apocalypse

​In ancient Greek, apocalypse translates as "a revelation." So what could possibly be more apocalyptic than the giant freaking orange moon due to pop up tomorrow night? After all, it's the biggest and closest it's been in nearly two decades. FYI: the "extreme supermoon" is also predicted to (1) ma ... More >>

Chris Bosh Elle Interview Confirms He's Too Nice to Be Awesome at Sports

​As the Miami Heat have struggled this season, critics have repeatedly pointed their fingers at the team's new $100 million big man, Chris Bosh, for playing soft. The 6'11" forward has struggled to assert himself in the paint since arriving from Toronto, leading to whispers that he had "gone Canad ... More >>

Heat Avenge 30-Point Loss to the Spurs With 30-Point Win

​Just ten days ago, the Miami Heat were in the midst of a five-game losing streak that included a season sweep at the hands of the Chicago Bulls and a press conference where head coach Erik Spoelstra told everyone that his players were crying after a loss. In the mix was also a 30-point loss to th ... More >>

Heat Beat L.A., Snap Five-Game Losing Streak

​The Miami Heat beat the Los Angles Lakers Thursday night 94-88, snapping a season-high five-game losing streak.Everybody can unclench their assholes now.After what has been a nightmare week for Heat fans, and an absolute delight for Heat Haters everywhere, Miami not only beat the defending champs ... More >>

Reports: Miami Heat to Sign Mike Bibby

Headband? Check! Not Mario Chalmers? Double check!​According to several reports, the Miami Heat will sign former Kings, Hawks, and Wizards point guard Mike Bibby.The Heat had to waive a player today to make room on the roster for Bibby's services.But no worries, Heat fans. If you still pine for a ... More >>

Scottie Pippen Calls Chris Bosh Half a Player, Doesn't Think Heat Will Break Any Record

​When Scottie Pippen sits down to watch TV, he doesn't see much difference between Two and a Half Men and a Miami Heat game. We guess LeBron is Charlie Sheen, Wade is John Cryer, and Chris Bosh is apparently that chubby kid who's awkwardly aged in front of America. In an interview with Slam Online ... More >>

Charles Barkley Calls Chris Bosh an Ugly Girl

​With the addition of Chris Bosh to the Eastern Conference's reserve roster your Miami Heat big three are all officially all stars. Yeah, the Boston Celtics have more All Star players (four on the reserve roster), the Heat have the most in the starting line-up. Of course with two teams making up m ... More >>

Don't Be So Cavalier

LeBron James Tells Cleveland That "Karma is a b****" on Twitter

​It's been a while since the card-carrying members of the Miami Heat Hate Machine have had any real reason to hate LeBron James with all their might. Mostly, they've tried to twist his words into discourses of pure evil, or take a certain gesture or facial expression out of context all to shoehorn ... More >>

Miami Corrupts Virginia Tech: 8 Players Punished For Missing New Year's Eve Curfew

​What do you expect when you take kids who normally spend most of their time in the sleepy little mountain town of Blacksburg, Virginia, and put them in Miami for New Year's Eve? Probably not good things. In the lead up to tonight's Orange Bowl, eight players on the Virginia Tech football team hav ... More >>

Pat Riley, It's Time to Get Back in the Game

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recommends Pat Riley pull a Stan Van Gundy on Erik Spoelstra.Pat Riley needs to stop wasting time writing love poems to h ... More >>

A Short Heat History Lesson: The 2006 Championship Team Started at 6-4 Too

Do people not understand how the NBA works? What is with all these supposed fans throwing up their hands in disgust and haters flying onto proverbial supercarriers and hoisting a "Mission Accomplished" banner? Yeah, the Heat are sitting at 6-4. It's not a great record by any means, but it's not exac ... More >>

Everyone "Hates" LeBron, But His Sneakers Are Selling Like Hot Cakes

​LeBron James' decision to "take his talents to South Beach" seemed to be a marketing disaster, in the short run at least. For a while it seemed to be impossible to find a LeBron fan outside of South Florida. Surprisingly, though, his latest namesake sneaker, Nike's LeBron 8, is selling just fine ... More >>

Short Order Award winners

Flash No More

Kourtney and Khloé Will No Longer Take Miami, Heading to NYC for Third Season

​We hate to be the bearer of bad news, and we know you all will be absolutely devastated by this somber development, but it appears that Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian are done taking our fair city of Miami. Apparently, they consider it conquered, and for the third season of the show, th ... More >>

Free Agency: Heat Has Already Contacted Amare Stoudemire and Chris Bosh

​The NBA's free-agency period began at midnight, which means we can finally start getting some facts to go with all of the insane rumors and mindless speculation. Our Miami Heat, which has basically put all of its eggs in this year's free-agency basket, is already hard at work trying to woo big na ... More >>

Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Toronto Raptors: It's All About the U

​Udonis Haslem will rock your face off. It's just that simple.Last night, the Heat overcame a 17-point deficit to defeat the visiting Toronto Raptors 97-94. Haslem led the team with 23 points, with the help of some guy named Dwyane Wade. With Wade doing all the heavy lifting for the Heat (we know, ... More >>

Sometimes No Move Is the Best Move of All

News Roundup

In order to move forward on that wonderful "Slot Machines in the Airport" idea, the County Commission ok'd the Airport's pursuit of getting a horse racing permit. [SFBJ]Burn Notice star Jeffrey Donovan traveled to Tallahassee yesterday to ask that the government facilitate the filming of more televi ... More >>

Raiders of the Lost Season

The Heat keeps finding ways to lose.

Re-Heat

The Miami Heat looks to rebuild by moving its biggest piece.

Buck in Time

Prey on This

Raw Deals