NBA Finals

Road To the Finals: Your Miami Heat White Hot Playoffs Primer

If you're anything like me, you already have butterflies. The Miami Heat are ready to defend the throne, in what should be another fantastic few weeks of some of the best sports entertainment this town has ever witnessed. The Miami Heat enter the NBA Playoffs as the clear-cut favorite to repeat as c ... More >>

Beantown Beatdown

Beating On Brats

Second Time’s a Charm

Super-Bad Bobcats

Miami Heat Worth $625 Million: Sixth Most Valuable in the NBA

The Miami Heat are worth a cool $625 million, according to the latest NBA team valuations by Forbes.com. That's up 307 percent since last year, or almost $200 million since 2012 when the team was valued at $427 million. Apparently that championship made a big difference.

Biting The Bulls

Bad Blood

Barack, LeBron, and Trayvon: That Was 2012

Barack Obama, LeBron James, and Trayvon Martin Gave Us Two Wins and a Travesty

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke looks back on the year the Apocalypse didn't happen.The world won't end in 2012. Why? Because LeBron James still has more NBA cha ... More >>

Ray (Allen) of Hope

Miami Heat's 2012-13 Schedule Released: Boston Opens The Year, OKC Comes At Christmas

Last season, the Miami Heat tied with San Antonio to capture the best home record in the league, and next season they'll be playing 14 of their first 22 games at home. So hopefully they'll have no trouble getting off to a quick start. In addition to playing the first game of the season at home ... More >>

Three Loco at LIV Nightclub July 18

Florida Couple Busted Sneaking Into Heat Finals With Bogus, Homemade Media Passes UPDATE

Forget LeBron. We're going to go ahead and call James and Ruth Kauff the true heroes of the Miami Heat's NBA Finals run. The Deerfield husband and wife were arrested at the Finals Game 4 against the since-vanquished Oklahoma Thunder after American Airlines Arena security busted them trying to use h ... More >>

"Whereas... LeBron James Decided to Take His Talent to South Beach": The Awesome Congressional Resolution Congratulating The Heat

It seems that Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen went all fan girl when drafting up a Congressional resolution to congratulate the Miami Heat on their NBA championship, because the thing is actually the rare Congressional measure that's a pleasure to read. It's basically a manifesto on why the Heat are just s ... More >>

MIAMI HEAT ARE 2012 NBA FINALS CHAMPIONS

Get your pots and pans out, Miami. Your Miami Heat are 2012 NBA World Champions!

Miami Heat Win NBA Championship, Rick Ross Skips the Victory and Gets High in Jamaica

Last night, Rick Ross sold out Miami, choosing to get high in the Caribbean over the Magic City and foregoing an opportunity to watch his Miami Heat win the NBA title. "I'm in Jamaica relaxing," Rozay tweeted just three hours before tip-off. "Smoke one." While puffing Kingston kush and kicking i ... More >>

Miami Heat Take Game 4, Are One Win Away From Title

Your Miami Heat overcame a 17-point deficit, a 43-point game from Russell Westbrook, a relentless Oklahoma City Thunder attack, and LeBron James losing a leg in the fourth quarter to pull off the 104-98 Game 4 win, and are now just one more victory away from being crowned NBA Finals champions.SOMEBO ... More >>

Heat-OKC Game 4: Head to db Bistro Moderne for Free Drinks, Game-Long Happy Hour

So the Heat won again last night and you are preparing for Game 4 tomorrow at 9 p.m.. When Shane Battier make his next three-pointer, and he will, you will want to shout. HELL YEAH DRINKS ON ME. Wait, you didn't mean that. Now you owe everyone in earshot a Red Bull and vodka.This scenario will be le ... More >>

Miami Heat Withstand Thunder Rally, Tie Series 1-1

Holy assballs it almost happened again.After the Miami Heat held the lead from the opening tip, just like in Game 1, and held a double-digit lead, just like in Game 1, the Oklahoma City Thunder almost rallied back to steal Game 2, just like Game 1.But thanks to LeBron James hitting a slap-yo-momma-a ... More >>

Miami's NBA Finals Tickets: Only $6000 to Sit Near the Stars

Tickets for game 5 of the NBA Finals here in Miami next Thursday went on sale online at noon today. By 12:01 p.m., the only tickets available were standing-room. By 12:04, even those spots -- which started at $150 each -- were gone.Finals tickets at American Airlines Arena aren't easy to come by; se ... More >>

Win Free Tickets for the Miami Heat vs. Oklahoma City Thunder in the 2012 NBA Finals

See also New Times' recap: "Heat Let First Half Lead Slip Away, Lose Game 1 ." Still got a little tenderness between the legs? On Tuesday night, the Miami Heat took a thunderous pounding to the crotch in Oklahoma City, losing Game 1 of the 2012 NBA Finals by a score of 105-94. But that's OK. 'Cau ... More >>

Miami Heat Let First-Half Lead Slip Away, Lose Game 1

Game 1 of the 2012 NBA Finals was a tale of two halves.The Miami Heat shot out of the gate strong, hitting shots, making threes and getting a huge game from *record scratch* Shane Battier!But the second half was a whole other bag of salted cock n' balls as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook did to t ... More >>

Heat Are Eastern Conference Champions, Will Face Oklahoma City in NBA Finals

After blowing up the Boston Celtics Big Three Era (for the second straight season) in last night's 101-88 Game 7 triumph, the Miami Heat are headed to their second-straight NBA Finals. The Big Three known as LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh scored Miami's final 31 points, including all ... More >>

LeBron James' 45 Points Lead Heat Over Celtics, Force Game 7

Brilliant.Extraordinary.Artist.Devastator.Maestro.Cobradick.

Heat Take Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals

The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for that guy ... More >>

LeBron James Leads Heat in Blowout Over Knicks In Game 1 of Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

For all the regular season ups and downs, accolades and drama, people celebrating in the streets with pots and pans when the Miami Heat won, people setting themselves on fire when they lost, the real NBA games that count finally got kicked off yesterday. And with everyone saying that the season will ... More >>

Udonis Haslem Really Is Thinking About Running for Mayor of Miami

After last night's game against the Kings, Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra joked that Udonis Haslem will "eventually ...be mayor of this town." Turns out that Haslem has actually given some thought to a political future, and may someday actually run for mayor of Miami. Watch out, Tomas Regalado.&nbs ... More >>

Heat Blow LeBron's 40-Point Night, Lose to the Bucks

The Miami Heat looked like they were on their way to demolishing the entire Milwaukee Bucks franchise into a fine powder after scoring a season-high 40 points in the opening quarter of last night's game. And then?Deercocks.For what seemed like the 30 billionth time this season, the Heat couldn't clo ... More >>

The King Takes on the Jester

NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Win Championship, LeBron Has Good Shot at MVP

​It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, NBA.com surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>

Riptide's Top Pageview-Getting Stories of the Year: Y'all Love Booty

​We here at Riptide are responsible for penning somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000 blog posts a year. They run the gamut from hard-hitting investigative stories to lighthearted satire. That's our responsibility.You, the internet browsing populace, your responsibility is clicking on and reading ... More >>

They’re Baaa-aaack

Miami Heat are Vegas's 2-to-1 Favorite to Win NBA Title

With the exact makeup of NBA's post-lock out rosters unknown, making any super informed predictions about the upcoming abbreviated season is sort of a shot in the dark. Though, with Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh on the Heat, picking them to win the NBA championship is likely your best bet ... More >>

Lil Wayne, Puff Daddy, and DJ Khaled get a deadline

Wade, James and Bosh to Host Charity All-Star Game at FIU

Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh haven't played together since the last game of the NBA Finals, and with the lockout in full effect we weren't sure when it would happen again. That's about to change. The trio is expected to announce plan for a charity All-Star game at FIU on Octobe ... More >>

Bored, Locked-Out Dwyane Wade Tries His Hand at Selling Eye Surgery

courtesy of Millennium Laser Eye CentersMiami Heat guard Dwyane Wade with Dr. Cory Lessner, the self-proclaimed "eye surgeon to the stars."​The NBA lockout is making people do strange things: Heat players are beating on little kids at basketball camps, Chris Bosh went and got himself MARRIED, and ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 6: Kaput

​After winning Game six 105-95, the Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat are left with a shitload of questions, LeBron James will continue to be haunted by his Finals failure, and Heat fans everywhere are walking around feeling like their favorite uncle just placed his wie ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 5: On The Brink

​After the giant mound of ostrich shit that was LeBron James' 8-point performance from Game 4, he called Game 5 the biggest of his career. The world then waited for LeBron to come out in Game 5 and serve the Mavericks a can filled with ass whoopin'. Instead, Heat fans got served a can filled with ... More >>

Jason Terry's tattoo shows he has more balls than brains

Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 4: LeTurd

​Well, shit. The Miami Heat must really love blowing fourth-quarter leads, because the team did it again last night in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, allowing the Dallas Mavericks to win the game 86-83 and tying the finals.Meanwhile, LeBron James had the worst performance of his playoff career. Dwyane ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 3: MV3

​Nothing screams "I Am A Righteous Ass Kicking Machine" quite like overcoming one of the NBA Finals worst collapses, an officiating crew that absolutely refused to call any fouls for you but insisted on blowing the whistle if you so much as breathed on the giant German, and having one of your team ... More >>

LeBron James to Open Lifestyle Store "Unknwn" in Miami

The store's logo. ​LeBron James isn't just a businessman; he's a business, man. Yes, the Miami Heat superstar isn't just building a legacy in Miami; he's building a business here too. James today announced plans to open a high-end lifestyle store called "Unknwn." 

Heat vs. Mavs: Joe's Stone Crab Better Than Cholesterol-Filled Beef

Stone crab at Joe's.​The Miami Heat obliterated the Dallas Mavericks last night, busting Dirk Nowitzki's finger and pretty much ending the series in the first game. But even more important: A bet between Joe's Stone Crab and the Dallas Chop House. A hundred pounds of fatty disgusting ribeye steak ... More >>

Dallas Mavericks vs. Miami Heat Game 1: Winning Time

​If you're a fan of low scoring games, low-percentage shooting and sleep depravity, then Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the game for you!LeBron James scored 24 while Dwyane Wade added 22 and Chris Bosh went for 19 as the Miami Heat took down the Dallas Mavericks 92-84 to take the first game of the b ... More >>

Shaq Finally Retires from Basketball

​As the Miami Heat are on the hunt for the second NBA Championship, the big man who helped them secure their first has announced his retirement from professional basketball. After 19 seasons in the NBA, four championships rings, 15 trips to the All-Star Game, an MVP award and six teams, Shaquille ... More >>

Interpreting LeBron James and Dwyane Wade's Post-Game Outfits

​First off: Is there any better evidence that the Miami Heat's Big Three is really a two-headed beast than the fact that Dwyane Wade and LeBron James always hold a tandem press conference with Chris Bosh later speaking to reporters alone? If this team is a circus, Wade and LeBron are the tight ... More >>

Heat-Bulls Game 4/Election-Results Live Blog-a-palooza

​Big night in Miami tonight. On one side, the Miami Heat hosting the Chicago Bulls in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals. On the other, the Miami-Dade elections. What's a good Miamian to do? Watch the game? Check on the election results?Well, don't fret, good citizen. Just stay with us t ... More >>

Don't Make Chris Bosh Angry

​The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago's face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the b ... More >>

Udonis Haslem and His Amazing Feats of Awesome

​In Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals, the Miami Heat had zero answers for the Chicago Bulls and their insane rebounding prowess, sharp shooting, monster dunks and screamy faces. But in last night's Game 2, the Heat answered with the one-two punch of LeBron James and the ball obliterating re ... More >>