NBA Central

LeBron James Explodes In Third Quarter, Leads Heat to 90-79 Win Over Indiana

Faced with a second half deficit and a seemingly inevitable Game Five loss, LeBron James took it upon himself to break the emergency glass surrounding his unstoppableness and unleash it upon the Indiana Pacers. There were no reported survivors. LeBron came out of the halftime locker room ready to ma ... More >>

Pacers Outlast Heat 99-92, Even Series 2-2

The Indiana Pacers beat the Heat Tuesday night 99-92 in a game that provided Heat fans with enough testicular torsion to last a lifetime. With the Spurs already in the clubhouse, the NBA sent Joey Crawford his Verne Troyer penis-looking face out to throw his entire bag of fouls onto the Heat's ball ... More >>

Heat Beat Pacers 114-96, Snatch Back Home-Court Advantage

Nobody makes the Miami Heat bleed their own blood. Once again the Heat followed one of those rare annoying things people call "a loss" with an epic ass-stomping performance, this time a 114-96 game three win over Indiana. Miami's shooting was locked in all night, led by Udonis Haslem who finished 8- ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Indiana Pacers: Eastern Conference Finals Preview

A year ago the Indiana Pacers gave the Miami Heat quite the scare. The Heat found themselves down 2-1 and without Chris Bosh, who left with an abdomen injury early in game 1, in addition to a banged up Dwyane Wade -- things looked bleak. The Heat would go on to outscore the Pacers by 52 points in ta ... More >>

Heat Rally Past Bulls In Fourth, Advance to East Finals With 94-91 Win

Big offense early and tough defense late helped the Heat close out the Bulls 94-91 Wednesday night to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals. LeBron finished with 23 points, seven rebounds, and eight assists, leading the Heat who will face the winner of the Knicks-Pacers series that Indiana curren ... More >>

Heat Stomp Chicago 88-65, Take 3-1 Series Lead

You make the Miami Heat angry, you deal with the repercussions. The Miami Heat came to Chicago looking to take back home court advantage, and now they're leaving with a sweep of the two games and a chance to finish the series back in Miami on Wednesday. Miami easily handled Chicago in Game 4 88-65 M ... More >>

Heat Stomp Bulls 115-78, Even Series

Back up in your ass with the resurrection, Chicago. The Miami Heat got some sweet revenge Wednesday night beating the Bulls 115-78 -- their worst ever playoff defeat, and at the same time the Heat's all-time biggest playoff win -- so that went well. Miami shot 50 percent from three point land and 60 ... More >>

Miami Loses Home Court, Game One to Bulls 93-86

Welcome to the 2013 NBA Playoffs, Miami Heat. Oh by the way, you just lost home court advantage. The Chicago Bulls came into Miami last night and shocked the Heat 93-86, taking Game 1 and at the same time putting the Heat on notice that this series will be anything but a cake walk. Once again Nate R ... More >>

Heat Buries Bucks 88-77, Sweeps First-Round Series in Four Games

The Miami Heat minus an injured Dwyane Wade closed out the Milwaukee Bucks Sunday afternoon with an 88-77 victory, sweeping the best-of-seven series four games to none. As was a theme in this series, the Bucks lulled the Miami Heat to sleep for three quarters, hanging around until the Heat decided ... More >>

Heat Take Commanding 3-0 Series Lead on Bucks With 104-91 Victory in Milwaukee

The Miami Heat overcame a dismal first half Thursday night to defeat Milwaukee 104-91 to take a commanding 3-0 lead in this best of four series. Ray Allen came off the bench to score 23 points, hitting five of eight threes, while LeBron James finished with 22 points, six assists, and five rebounds. ... More >>

Heat Survive Off Night From LeBron, Take Game Two From Bucks 98-86

The Heat survived an off night from LeBron and a sluggish first half to beat the Milwaukee Bucks 98-86 Tuesday night, taking a 2-0 lead in this best of seven first round matchup. Dwyane Wade led all Heat scorers with 21 points, and looked like the 2006 version of himself at times, slashing and drivi ... More >>

Heat Beats Bucks in Game One Behind 27 From LeBron (and Support From Rihanna)

Operation Defend the Throne got off to a businesslike start Sunday night as the Miami Heat kicked off the playoffs with a 110-87 game one victory over the Milwaukee Bucks. The Heat never trailed, with LeBron James leading the way with 27 points, ten rebounds, and eight assists in 35 minutes of play ... More >>

Road To the Finals: Your Miami Heat White Hot Playoffs Primer

If you're anything like me, you already have butterflies. The Miami Heat are ready to defend the throne, in what should be another fantastic few weeks of some of the best sports entertainment this town has ever witnessed. The Miami Heat enter the NBA Playoffs as the clear-cut favorite to repeat as c ... More >>

Heat Breaks Franchise Record for Home Wins, Beats Bulls 105-93

LeBron James scored 24 points and Dwyane Wade had 22, leading the Heat to a 105-93 victory over the Chicago Bulls Sunday. The win moved Miami to 36-4, breaking the prior record of 35-6 set by the 2004-05 Heat.Chalmers and Birdman Andersen both scored 15 in the win, while Carlos Boozer finished with ... More >>

Heat Comes Back From 27 Points Down, Rally to Beat Cavs for 24th Straight Win

Just when you think the Miami Heat can't possibly take your emotions to a higher place than they have already been this season, an ordinary Wednesday night in Cleveland happens -- and the streak pushes on.Down 27 with seven minutes to play in the third quarter, the Heat decided to turn its own perso ... More >>

Heat's Win Streak Hits 18 as Bosh, Wade Crush Pacers 105-91

Eighteen have entered. Zero have gone home victorious. The Indiana Pacers became just the latest victim of the Heat's insane win streak as Miami defeated the Pacers 105-91 Sunday night. The win also gave the Heat victories over every other team in the NBA this season, a franchise first. BUT THIS CRA ... More >>

Heat Wins Ninth Straight, Spanks Bulls 86-67

Chicago might be best known for its deep-dish pizza, but Thursday night in Miami, it was their turnovers that the Heat found delicious. Mmmmmm! Capitalizing on 27 Chicago mistakes, Miami was able to breeze to a 86-67 victory over the Bulls for its ninth straight win.Hollywood as hell, bro.

Defeat Detroit

LeBron James Heading Back to Cleveland in 2014, According to Latest Rumors

Is LeBron James planning on packing up those talents and sending them first class back home to Cleveland? Rumors are swirling that the Cleveland Cavaliers are eager to target their old star in 2014 when James has the option to be a free agent again, On ESPN this morning, Chris Broussard said he woul ... More >>

Heat Fall to Pacers 87-77 As Rebounding Woes Continue

Before last night's game, LeBron James said the Heat would 'be ready' to face a Pacers team that had done a ton of trash talking against the Heat dating back to last year's Eastern Conference Semifinals when the Heat started that series down 2-1. Then the Pacers came out and dominated the boards en ... More >>

Biting The Bulls

Sticking it to Dan

Heat Index

Miami Heat's 2012-13 Schedule Released: Boston Opens The Year, OKC Comes At Christmas

Last season, the Miami Heat tied with San Antonio to capture the best home record in the league, and next season they'll be playing 14 of their first 22 games at home. So hopefully they'll have no trouble getting off to a quick start. In addition to playing the first game of the season at home ... More >>

LeBron James Gets Standing Ovation on Letterman and Plenty of Questions About Cleveland

LeBron James came out to one of his first standing ovations outside Miami last night in a long time on The Late Show with David Letterman, and in New York City of all places. Guess that ring really did do wonders for his image. Of course, once everyone sat down, Letterman wasted no time time flingin ... More >>

Charles Barkley Says Miami Heat Don't Have Real Fans, Is Easily Proven Wrong by Math

Looks like its time to bring back the "Fuck you, Chuck" chants. While predicting that the Miami Heat will win tonight, and laying praise on LeBron James, professional loudmouth Charles Barkley took a swipe at Miami fans this morning on a D.C. sports radio show by claiming that the Heat don't ha ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Scores 41 as Heat Advance to Eastern Conference Finals

Remember when Dwyane Wade crapped the bed last week and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft.Wade dropped 41 points in Miami's 105-93 beatdown of the Indiana Pacers. MV3 scored 20 of his 41 in the second quarter, going 8-for-11 from the floor, and leading the Heat past what had bec ... More >>

Heat Take 3-2 Lead As Things Get Physical

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 58 points and the Miami Heat shot a franchise-best 61 percent from the field as they blew out the Indiana Pacers 115-83 last night. The series now heads back to Indiana with Miami up 3-2.But because this is the Miami Heat and because everyone needs a reason ... More >>

LeBron Makes History and D-Wade Bounces Back as the Heat Tie Series 2-2

What's better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its own ... More >>

Heat Drop Game 2 to the Pacers

Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>

Heat vs. Pacers: Five Reasons Indiana Is the Butthole of America, From a Guy Who Lived There

The Miami Heat take on the Indiana Pacers tonight in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. It promises to be a fine basketball contest. The Heat are without the advantage of Chris Bosh. LeBron James is gonna go cobradick, and Rony Turiaf has promised to do more dancing. Nobody knows who's ... More >>

LeBron, D-Wade Rally Heat Over Pacers After Bosh Leaves With An Injury

A lot happened before the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers even got their Eastern Conference semifinals going. For one thing, Pacers head coach Frank Vogel put on a fancy hat and proclaimed himself captain of the SS Douchetanic, and started inexplicably bitching about how the Heat are a bunch of floppe ... More >>

Heat Take Down Bulls In Chippy Affair

Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>

Re-Heated Rivalry

Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT

Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>

Heat Blow LeBron's 40-Point Night, Lose to the Bucks

The Miami Heat looked like they were on their way to demolishing the entire Milwaukee Bucks franchise into a fine powder after scoring a season-high 40 points in the opening quarter of last night's game. And then?Deercocks.For what seemed like the 30 billionth time this season, the Heat couldn't clo ... More >>

LeBron James Makes Most Awesome Dunk Ever After Biking to Work

​We're not going to say that bicyclists are better than everyone. We're just going to tell you that LeBron James rode his bicycle to work yesterday and then made one of the most awesome slam dunks in NBA history by literally jumping over an opponent. We're going to let you make up you own mind ove ... More >>

Heat Survive Lowly Pistons With Clutchy Free Throws

​Everybody likes to talk about how LeBron James can't get it done in the fourth quarter, that he isn't clutch, that he's a righteous ass-wrecking machine for the first three quarters of games but then inexplicably turns into a little old Chinese woman in the fourth quarter, costing his team games. ... More >>

Chris Bosh Is A Smooth Operator: Heat Take Down Cavs

BoshBalls!​The Miami Heat seemed to have been sleepwalking through the first three quarters of last night's game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. And all that dicking around might have cost them the game if not for Chris Bosh blowing up with his 17 fourth-quarter points.Miami was able to sustain s ... More >>

LeBron James Ain't Care: Behind LBJ's 33, Heat Dismantles Pacers

​LeBron James overcame not having Dwyane Wade by his side, as well as a badly rolled ankle, and dropped 33 points in the Heat's 118-83 jack up of the Indiana Pacers last night.LBJ also added 13 assists and was two rebounds shy of recording a triple-double on the night. Chris Bosh added 22 points w ... More >>

TNT Camera Man Caught Checking Out Hot, Hot Miami Heat Fans

​Last night's heart pumping game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls certainly had enough on court action to keep anyone satisfied, but a TNT camera man got a little bored between halves and started zooming in on some of the Heat's prettiest blonde lady fans. Somehow that ended up getting bro ... More >>

Don't Make Chris Bosh Angry

​The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago's face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the b ... More >>

Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls: They're Just a Bunch of Wieners

With the help of local boy Udonis Haslem, the Heat nailed the Bulls last night 85-75. Now we come back to Miami for re-ignition of this NBA Eastern Conference Finals sausage fest on Saturday at 8:30 p.m. Since we're foodies, not sports handicappers, we decided to do a "playoff" of the food kind - pi ... More >>

The Heat Still Can't Beat the Bulls, or Grab a Rebound

​Well that was rough. Apparently Chicago Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau screened Hoosiers for his team while Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra showed his guys Atlas Shrugged prior to their Game 1 Eastern Conference Finals showdown. Because the Heat were out muscled, and out-hustled by ... More >>

Wadeless Heat Lose to Bucks, Probably Losing No. 2 Seed In The Process

​The Miami Heat must really want to not have the second seed in the Eastern Conference, because they came out and completely crapped themselves last night in a 90-85 loss to the Milwaukee Bucks.With Dwyane Wade and his hobbled thigh on the bench, the Heat turned the ball over 16 times while shooti ... More >>

It's The End of the World As We Know It!: Cavs Stun Heat

​It's Christmas morning for the Heat Haters Dick Biters Brigade! Because the lowly 15-58 Cleveland Cavaliers took down and exacted revenge on LeBron James and the Miami Heat last night in a 102-90 win.The Heat were outplayed and out hustled on both ends of the floor. And even though they eventuall ... More >>

Lebron Smash

Defense Helps Heat Rally Past Pistons

​There are nights when the Miami Heat completely annihilate an inferior opponent and leave them buried in their wake of awesomeness by twenty or thirty points. Last night was not one of those nights.The Heat had to rally hard and overcome an eleven-point deficit in last night's 100-94 win over the ... More >>

Buck the System

Miami Heat Have Yet Another Late-Game Meltdown, Get Swept By Bulls

​The Miami Heat had yet another late-game collapse, losing yet another game at the buzzer and going down to yet another playoff-caliber team when they lost 87-86 to the Chicago Bulls yesterday. And while the Heat are now 0-6 against the Celtics and Bulls, and 1-9 against the NBA's top five teams, ... More >>