Subject:

NBA Atlantic

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2014

    Heat Playoff Schedule Is Set: Here's What's Standing Between Miami and a Three-Peat

    Mercifully, the Heat's regular season came to an end Wednesday night with a 100-87 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers. The Heat loss means Miami finishes the season with a 54-28 record, 12 games worse than last season's franchise record 66-win campaign. With the second seed in the East locked up prior ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 9, 2014

    LeBron Got Fouled So Hard on a Dunk To Win Game and Refs Ignored It

    Controversy! For the third time this season, the Brooklyn Nets beat the Miami Heat last night by a single point, thus sweeping the season series four games to none. But not without debate. With the Heat trailing by one Miami had one frantic last chance to pull out the win. Rashard Lewis found Le ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 6, 2014
  • Blogs

    February 28, 2014

    LeBron James' Terrifying Mask Destroyed the Knicks and the Internet Last Night

    Sometimes games don't live up to the hype. This was not one of those instances. After LeBron James broke his nose last week against the Oklahoma City Thunder, it was pretty much expected that LeBron would be stuck with an ugly face mask for the foreseeable future. Not exactly. Turns out LeBron J ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2014

    Heat-Toronto: A Dunk Like No Other (Video)

    While you were watching the NFL playoffs all weekend, the Miami Heat players were busy getting the taste of that Warriors ass-kicking out of their mouths by gargling with the Orlando Magic and Toronto Raptors on back-to-back nights. Following a 110-94 win in Orlando Saturday night, the Heat held o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2013

    Miami Heat Could Wear Jerseys With Nicknames Next Season

    Last names are so over. The NBA is reportedly entertaining the possibility of allowing the Miami Heat to display nicknames on the back of their jersey for at least one game against the Brooklyn Nets next season -- probably because finding an excuse to offer a new limited edition LeBron jersey is too ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    NBA 2K14 Lets You Play Out Dystopian Future Where LeBron James Betrays the Heat

    We already know that LeBron James will be the cover athlete and has had some creative input for the upcoming NBA 2K14 video game, but Yahoo! Sports reports today that the game will have a surprise feature. Players will be able to play a storyline that imagines how LeBron's career will play out until ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 3, 2013

    Melo Drops 50 as Knicks Beat Depleted Heat 102-90

    Heat fans tuning in for a possible Eastern Conference Finals preview Tuesday night were instead treated to another helping of the Miami Heat "B-Team" with an extra-large side of Carmelo Anthony ass. Anthony sizzled all night long, finishing with a career-high-tying 50 points as the New York Knicks p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2013

    LeBron James, Heat Shut Up Smack-Talking Nets with 105-85 Win

    During shootaround prior to last night's game, Brooklyn's pedestrian, no-rings, Dopey-headed fool of a starting power forward, Reggie Evans, ran off his mouth about how the Heat's championship "didn't count" because of the lockout and how LeBron James was no different then a lot of other players in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2013

    Miami Heat Won't Be Able to Watch Super Bowl and LeBron Isn't Happy

    Remember right after the Dolphin's one-win season a few years ago when The Onion wrote, "NFL Denies Miami Dolphins' Request To Watch Super Bowl."Well, that story has come true for the Miami Heat. NBA scheduling has effectively made it impossible for LeBron and co. to watch the big game. 

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    Nets Player Says Heat Didn't Win "Real" Title; LeBron's Response: "Who?"

    The Miami Heat travel to Brooklyn tonight for the first time in franchise's history, and apparently Nets players are hoping to amp up the rivalry. Nets forward Reggie Evans is even going as far as to suggest that the Heat's 2012 title wasn't legitimate because of the lock-out shortened regular seaso ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 13, 2012
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    November 29, 2012
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    November 15, 2012
  • Dining

    August 9, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 22, 2012

    Mugshots Friday: Miami Heat Championship Edition

    ​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2012

    Ray Allen Considering Signing with the Heat

    From being part of one big three to backing up another?Boston Celtics shooting guard Ray Allen's contract is up. If he doesn't end up back in green, ESPN New York reports that the ten-time All Star would heavily consider signing with the Heat. Apparently there aren't hard feelings that his team just ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2012

    Chris Bosh Coming Back For Game 5

    Chris Bosh is coming back for Game 5 of the Heat-Celtics series, according to ESPN. We haven't been this excited about anything Bosh-related since he first signed with the Heat, because good basketball lord the Heat seriously need something to get them over the hump and finish off this series agains ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2012

    Heat Sweep the Knicks, Win Southeast Division

    The Miami Heat went into Madison Square Garden yesterday for the first and only time this regular season, and proceeded to mash the spleens of the New York Knickerbockers to the tune of 93-85, snapping New York's nine-game home-winning streak, sweeping the season series against the Knicks and taking ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2012

    Heat Clinch Playoff Berth With 16th Consecutive Home Win

    Weirdly enough, the Miami Heat only play like a bag of shit on the road, because they remain as dominant as ever at home. LeBron James dropped a season-high 41 points -- 15 in the fourth quarter -- as the Heat took down the Philadelphia 76ers 99-93 last night, winning their 16th straight home g ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 1, 2012
  • Blogs

    February 24, 2012

    Heat Beat Knicks and Jeremy Lin, Render Linsanity Utterly Linpotent

    ​For the past month or so, we've all had Jeremy Lin spewed on our faces, whether we wanted it or not. Turn on your TV: LIN! Tune into your favorite radio station: LIN! Log on to twitter: LIN! The Republican debates: LIN! Jump in the shower: LIN! Your morning cereal toy prize: LIN!And then Lin and ... More >>

  • News

    February 23, 2012
  • Blogs

    February 23, 2012

    In Miami Heat's Chapel, Jeremy Lin Prayed A Month Ago He'd Make the Knicks Squad

    ​It's hard to believe that just a month ago, Jeremy Lin was hanging on to his spot on the New York Knicks' roster by a mere thread. The struggling team was considering cutting him. He traveled with the team to Miami on January 27th. He didn't play a single minute in the game, but he did visit the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2012

    Jeremy Lin Needs to Beware Coochie Power

    ​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke counsels New York Knicks guard Jeremy Lin. The New York Knicks and Jeremy Lin are coming to town this Thursday, February ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2011

    Amar'e Stoudemire Promises to Riddle LeBron's Body With Bullets in Bizarre Human Hunting Escapade

    ​Amar'e Stoudemire has privately announced his intentions to hunt and kill LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, according to reports. The full details of the bloodlustful New York Knicks forward's murderous plans are not yet known, but Stoudemire has told teammates that he has already assembled a cache o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2011

    LeBron James' Clutch Balls

    ​LeBron James has taken a lot of shit this year. Mainly because he decided to exercise his perfectly legal right to join another team through free agency. SO EVIL! And then he went and celebrated his signing with the Heat in front of the local fans with a fire works show. SO IMPERIOUS!He's also ha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2011

    LeBron James Finally Apologizes to Cleveland

    It was a long time coming, but LeBron James finally apologized to the city of Cleveland last night after the Miami Heat beat the Boston Celtics in round two of the playoffs. James must have been in a bittersweet mood after vanquishing the Celtics. Sure, he's made it to the conference finals a couple ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    The Heat's Road to the NBA Championship

    ​The day is almost here. After one of the most scrutinized regular seasons afforded to any team in just about all of NBA history the Miami Heat are set to platy their first play-off game with LeBron James and Chris Bosh joining Dwayne Wade in red and black tomorrow. They'll face off at home ag ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2011

    Wadeless Heat Lose to Bucks, Probably Losing No. 2 Seed In The Process

    ​The Miami Heat must really want to not have the second seed in the Eastern Conference, because they came out and completely crapped themselves last night in a 90-85 loss to the Milwaukee Bucks.With Dwyane Wade and his hobbled thigh on the bench, the Heat turned the ball over 16 times while shooti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2011

    Ten Other Things We Wish We Could Recall

    ​Even if you didn't think yesterday's recall of Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez and Commissioner Natacha Seijas was a good idea, you must admit it was immensely satisfying to watch those lopsided results come in. We posit that it was better than sex. Fornication is wonderful and all, but how oft ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 28, 2011

    Heat Blow 15-Point Lead, Lose to the Knicks

    ​The Miami Heat blew a 15-point lead and lost 91-86 to the New York Knicks last night, thus making local sports talk radio even douchier than normal for at least another week.The loss continues a troubling trend of not being able to beat playoff contending teams, or even win a big game in the clos ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2011

    LeBron Increased Value of Heat by 17%, Dropped Cavs' by 26%

    ​The Miami Heat may be the most talked about NBA team this season, but they aren't the most valuable. However, the signing of LeBron James and Chris Bosh saw the team's value increase by 17 percent since last year, according to Forbes.com. That's the biggest increase in value over one year in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 22, 2011

    Sans Wade or Bosh, LeBron James and Mike Miller Lead Heat, Snap Losing Streak

    ​Dwayne Wade was forced to sit out thanks to a migraine, while Chris Bosh sat out his second-straight game with a bum left ankle. And so LeBron James was left to the mercy of having to rely on Mario Chalmers and Carlos Arroyo for support if the Miami Heat was going to snap their longest losing str ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 21, 2010

    Miami Makes List of Top Ten Grinchiest Cities

    ​The Daily Beast has giving us a new listicle gift for the holidays (listicles are basically the internet equivalent of fruit cake) and apparently Miami is the country's 10th "Grinchiest" city. Which means we apparently hate Christmas so very, very much. We apparently neither buy each other enough ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2010

    Lebron James Villain-O-Meter: How Much Does America Hate Him This Week?

    ​Americans residing north of Palm Beach County have targeted their wrath at LeBron James, a basketball player and creator of the world's worst television special. In this semi-regular installment, we ​figure out why American hates LeBron this week, so you don't have to.

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2010

    Isiah Thomas Wants to Return to the Knicks and Bring LeBron With Him

    ​Oh how it must eat away at Isiah Thomas every day that he's sitting in his FIU offices coaching a Sun Belt team, while just a few miles away the Miami Heat have become the most talked about team in the NBA. In a chat with ESPN New York, Thomas talks about wanting to return to New York, and hints ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2010

    Live Blog: Heat vs. Celtics

    ​Have no one to watch tonight's Heat-Celtics NBA season debut with? You do have someone to watch it with but they don't provide the same award-winning rapier wit-like banter you find here on your friendly neighborhood Miami New Times blog?Well have no fear! Because the Riptide 2.0 Heat vs. Celtics ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2010

    LeBron's Jerseys & The Ground Zero Mosque: Solutions

    A group of Ohioans have offered to send LeBron James' former Cavaliers jerseys to the homeless of Miami, a purportedly generous gesture to help clothe poor folks. Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf has offered to build a mosque and Islamic cultural center in the proximity of Ground Zero, a purportedly generous ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2010

    Isiah Thomas to Take Job with Knicks, But Stay at FIU

    ​In the past few weeks we've been hearing two rumors: 1) Isiah Thomas was definitely going to return to the Knicks 2) Isiah Thomas was definitely going to stay as the head coach of FIU basketball. Turns out that both were right.

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2010

    Either Miami or Chicago Will Dominate NBA, Hints LeBron Pal

    Despite the pleas of New York's local media, it seems that LeBron James will not be heading to join the Knicks. Or so says Charles Oakley, a former Knicks player and close pal of LeBron. "Chicago or Miami. Not New York. He's leaving," Oakley told the New York Daily News.Hmmm, the Heat and the B ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2010

    Here Is Kevin Garnett Elbowing Quentin Richardson's Face (And Giving The Heat A Chance To Win Game 2)

    The Celtics already had Game One on lock down. All Quentin Richardson was doing was running his mouth a little during trash time. And yet enraged silly man-child Kevin Garnett couldn't keep it together. You've probably watched this highlight 15 times by now since Saturday (especially because it's ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 15, 2010
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    February 11, 2010
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    March 12, 2009
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    April 10, 2008
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    February 28, 2008
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    April 12, 2007
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    January 18, 2007

    Light and Heat

    Have a little faith tonight at the AAA

  • Calendar

    March 16, 2006
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