Subject:

Michael Phelps

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2012

    Forget the Puppy Bowl: Five Animal Showdowns We'd Rather See

    ​"What's the Puppy Bowl," you reluctantly ask? It's Animal Planet exploiting a bunch of cute puppies and forcing them to play their own brand of football on national television on Super Bowl Sunday. Yes, it's a thing.The fact that people even enjoy rugby's pussy little cousin football at all is su ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2011

    Chad Ochocinco to Try Out for Pro Soccer Team

    Ochocinco and soccer star Christiano Ronaldo​Giving that Chad Ochocinco grew up in soccer-loving Miami, it's no surprise that he used to play the sport in his youth, but the colorful Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver is know more for his skills with his hands than his feet. Now, in the face of an N ... More >>

  • News

    October 7, 2010

    Famous marijuana users

    From an Olympic champion to an honest-to-goodness queen, everybody has smoked pot.

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2010

    Castro Death Meter: Yes! Experts Estimate Fidel Is Now 83 Percent Dead

    The newly released 7-month-old photo.​Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco Joins Dancing With The Stars With Pamela Anderson and Kate Gosselin

    ​It's really a wonder that somehow the one-man entertainment machine known as Chad Ochocinco has not been on a reality tv show yet. If there's a single player in the NFL who was made for trash television it's him. He is, after all, Esteban: the most interesting football player in the world.Well, i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 19, 2010

    Vancouver, Schmancouver -- Let's Pan to the Morons of the Week Medal Ceremony

    Olympic athletes sure are incredible -- or at least that's what the people on television keep telling us -- but South Florida's morons perform far more unbelievable feats on a weekly basis. We've had a road-raging woman complete a seven-felony dash in 3.7 seconds. An old man shot his foot in the sho ... More >>

  • News

    October 8, 2009

    Five reasons Miami will never host the Olympics

    Olympic athletes sure are incredible -- or at least that's what the people on television keep telling us -- but South Florida's morons perform far more unbelievable feats on a weekly basis. We've had a road-raging woman complete a seven-felony dash in 3.7 seconds. An old man shot his foot in the sho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2009

    Five Reasons the Olympics Will Never Come to Miami

    Dave Landsberger Can we change all those rings to gold and stick a cigar in there?​Last week, Rio de Janeiro beat Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. Rio and Miami share many things, including tourism, beaches, and lots of South Americans. But here are five reasons the Magic City coul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2009

    Domino's BreadBowl Pasta

    Domino's Pizza The Pizza Delivery Experts get some carb on carb actionIt's a meal only Michael Phelps could love. And what timing!  Launched just in time to thwart a comeback-hungry Kirstie Alley in her lust for leanness. But  Domino's, I regret to type tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2009

    Phelps Takes Gold at the Gansevoort, Sapp Snags Silver

    Warren Sapp now has two things Chad Ocho Cinco so desperately wants: a Super Bowl ring and the experience of racing Michael Phelps. Back in August, Ocho Cinco challenged Phelps to a showdown in the warm pools of Miami, but the battle never happened. Sapp was luckier. Both were in town for various ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2008

    That's Mr. Ocho Cinco To You

    Warren Sapp now has two things Chad Ocho Cinco so desperately wants: a Super Bowl ring and the experience of racing Michael Phelps. Back in August, Ocho Cinco challenged Phelps to a showdown in the warm pools of Miami, but the battle never happened. Sapp was luckier. Both were in town for various ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 21, 2008

    At Least a Marlin's Wife Can Win

    Warren Sapp now has two things Chad Ocho Cinco so desperately wants: a Super Bowl ring and the experience of racing Michael Phelps. Back in August, Ocho Cinco challenged Phelps to a showdown in the warm pools of Miami, but the battle never happened. Sapp was luckier. Both were in town for various ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2008

    NFL Player Says Liberty City Can Beat Phelps

    Warren Sapp now has two things Chad Ocho Cinco so desperately wants: a Super Bowl ring and the experience of racing Michael Phelps. Back in August, Ocho Cinco challenged Phelps to a showdown in the warm pools of Miami, but the battle never happened. Sapp was luckier. Both were in town for various ... More >>

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