Miami's own SNL star turned Tea Party Queen Victoria Jackson is not having a good day. After all, a communist remains in the White House. While it may not have been quite as ridiculous as Donald Trump's now infamous Twitter meltdown, Jackson vented her emotions on social media and proclaimed America ... More >>
The Miami Carol City Senior High football team will definitely be making a fashion statement next year.The school's 50th anniversary is coming up, and one of its most famous alumni, rapper Flo Rida, has decided to celebrate by donating the gift of Native American-print football leggings to the Carol ... More >>
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Hurricane Sandy isn't expected to make landfall in Florida, but the storm will still be annoying as the outer bands hit the southeastern part of the state throughout the day.Miami-Dade is under a tropical storm warning, meaning a lot of rain and wind are expected. The conditions are forecasted to la ... More >>
Just under one million Floridians have already cast their ballots in the presidential elections, and the number is closing in on the 10 percent total mark of all Florida registered voters. So far, though, Republicans have turned in more absentee ballots than Democrats, but their absentee advantage i ... More >>
A Miami man who reportedly set himself on fire started chanting "just let me die" when a family member tried to help. The man had attempted to burn himself and his Toyota Camry in front of his father-in-law's home.
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Today's photo comes from Keylargo_diver's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
Leisure City K-8 Center, an elementary and middle school in Homestead, is on lockdown after a police chase ended nearby and a group of suspects ran into the school to escape police. Details on the situation are foggy at the moment, but police have set up a perimeter around the school.
If you see a large group of manatees suddenly show up in shallow water and start rubbing up against each other, there's a good chance they're humping, and you shouldn't try to interrupt them.Recently, such a group has appeared near Siesta Beach on Siesta Key, and wildlife officials have had to remin ... More >>
So, we've had "Shit Miami Girls (and Guys) Say" and "Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say," and now finally we have "Stuff Miami Hurricanes Fans Say." Yeah, the guy behind the Miami Heat video has finally applied his magic to the Canes Nation. And it is totally true: No, we don't want to drive 30 minutes to ou ... More >>
Forget about absentee ballot brokers stealing elections! Forget about county officials stealing from the public till! Forget about the Miami Marlins ball park boondoggle! Irresponsible dog owners are clearly the greatest menace facing our community.A pair of Miami-Dade County commissioners are pushi ... More >>
The University of Miami has dropped out of the top 40 of US News and Colleges Reports' widely cited college rankings, reversing years of slowly trudging up the rankings. The school dropped from 38th, its highest ranking ever, to 44 this year. Despite that, UM still remains the highest ranked school ... More >>
Scott Van Duzer made headlines around the world on Sunday when he lifted President Obama off the ground in a back-cracking bear hug that amazingly didn't result in a swift Tasering by Secret Service agents.The hug has resulted in Van Duzer's business becoming the most politically debated pizza shop ... More >>
Republicans are pros at pandering. When they come to Miami, they always appear at Versailles Café and rage about the Cuban regime. And, of course, they held their convention in Tampa last week in an effort to court curmudgeonly Florida voters.Democrats? Not so much. They are sure to have lost some ... More >>
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You really want that six pack? Maybe you should down a six pack every night. According to a new University of Miami study, people who report heavy drinking habits work out harder than moderate drinkers and non-drinkers. This also might explain why the University of Miami gym is so damned packed all ... More >>
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Yesterday, New Times' correspondent Victor Gonzalez caught up with none other than former GOP presidential hopefuls (and, hence, rivals) Newt Gingrich and Michele Bachmann. The primary battle apparently didn't come between their friendship, because the two caressed each others' Republican backs with ... More >>
When we ran into Geraldo Rivera broadcasting live from the Republican National Convention, we asked him what everyone wanted to know: whether he was among the nearly 6 million people who watched our recent "Girl Gets Butt Hole Tattoo" video. "Can't say that I have," he replied. "But I have plenty of ... More >>
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Have you been watching the Republican National Convention? If not you're missing out on learning all the latest white people dance moves like the "cowboy hat wave," the "granny clap and shuffle," and the "index finger shimmy." Get caught up with this video set to "My Neck, My Back" by rapper Khia, w ... More >>
There's a lot of sensory overload in Miami, so it takes something bold to get people to turn their heads. Mercy for Animals devised something that might make people stop and check out its display.A ten-foot-tall bloody pig in a cage outside Walmart.
What do you get when you ask some of Miami's best bartenders to set their cocktails to music? One entertaining evening filled with rum, costumes, music, and more than a little mayhem. We're talking about the Appleton Estate Jamaica rum remixology bartender challenge, held at Blackbird Ordinary last ... More >>
A Florida teenager is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the dick. Obviously, all of Florida is hoping and praying that this genius will recover and one day be able to procreate.The incident happened early Thursday morning in Port St. Lucie. Police arrived at the local hospital to che ... More >>
Miami's hottest new BBQ joint is Brother's Jimmy BBQ in Brickell. Short Order seems to love it, and it's owned by three former Miami Hurricanes players, including Jonathan Vilma. Everyone is welcome to try a bit of their Carolina-style barbecue. Everyone, that is, except for NFL Commissioner Roger G ... More >>
See a full slideshow remembering Hurricane Andrew here. Also read "Hurricane Andrew at 20: Miami Herald Reporters Remember." In a column published today, I gathered memories of a bunch of ex Miami Herald reporters about covering Hurricane Andrew, which ruined Miami 20 years ago today. The news ... More >>
Back in 2007, the feds indicted a Miami doctor for allegedly writing bogus prescriptions for hydrocodone and other addictive medicines shipped across the country through an online pharmacy. The case was more than solid; in fact, prosecutors gathered more than 400,000 pages of records to bolster thei ... More >>
Proving that thieves in Miami will steal just about anything if given the chance, two suspects stole 500 canaries from the home of an 87-year-old man. Yes, those tiny, chirping little pet birds.
Ever notice how some of Miami's most connected, bold-faced names always manage to get their DUIs reduced to reckless driving charges? It was a recurring theme in our rundown of celeb mugshots.Well, controversial South Beach nightlife icon Chris Paciello is the latest to join the club. He's escaped D ... More >>
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With Miami's primary elections rolling in on August 14, Banana Republican decided to do Dade a solid by tallying up the worst scalawags, scoundrels, and scumbags who weaseled onto the ballot. Rock the vote, long live democracy, and all that jazz.But honestly, we'd rather you stay at home and watch D ... More >>
Police in Orange Park, Florida, a Jacksonville suburb, are on the lookout for a man they believe was trying to trade a child for food. On Saturday night, the man went door to door at a motel and asked several people if they'd like to make the despicable deal.
A woman who attempted to snatch a purse this weekend at the ritzy Bal Harbour Shops ended up falling from the mall's second story while trying to escape. The victim, who had $20,000 in cash in the purse, had attempted to chase after the would-be burglar.
David Martin Escamillo, the man arrested this week for causing a panic during a screening of The Dark Knight Rises at the Regal cinema in South Beach, says he never intended to scare his fellow movie goers and was just angry at a man who was texting too much during the screening.
Earlier today, someone hacked into the Facebook accounts of several Major League Baseball teams and the Marlins were not spared. For a brief moment, the Marlins Facebook page promised the first 10,000 fans in attendance at the next game that they'd receive a free "fighting pit bull."
By the time you read this, your favorite Miami Marlin has probably been sent packing. For the third time in franchise history, a fire sale is raging. The face of the franchise, Hanley Ramirez, is now a Dodger; the last Marlin to throw a no-no, Anibal Sanchez, and the best infielder, Omar Infante, ar ... More >>
Robert Brown was about as successful a puppeteer as a puppeteer can be in Tampa Bay. He regularly performed in high schools, at kids' parties, and even for the Tampa Bay Rays.In his free time, though, he liked to log on to the Internet and discuss his fantasies about kidnapping, raping, cooking, and ... More >>
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The Miami Dolphins foray into reality TV is almost upon us as HBO's Hard Knocks premieres on August 7, and the premium channel released the first footage in the form of a trailer today. It looks ... just about like the opening montage of every single television series set in Miami ever, except with ... More >>
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It may not be the Miami versus Los Angeles series most of us are salivating for (Heat take Lakers in six games during next year's finals, right?), but that's OK, because we won't even get to see it anyway. The NBA has announced that the Heat will head over to China for two preseason games against th ... More >>
An American Airlines plane that took off from Fort Lauderdale is headed for Miami International Airport with cabin pressure problems, NBC reports. The flight took off at 9:15 a.m., but still hadn't arrived at 10:20. There are 147 people aboard.Five people were hospitalized yesterday after severe tur ... More >>
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Read also "Miami's Extreme Body Modifiers Brave Social Stigma and Legal Action to Pursue Their Passion."Picture 350 pounds of bearded, pierced, and tattooed flesh swinging from meat hooks shanked through back fat.That's a rough idea of what Coco Stabs does for fun.Coco is one subject of this week's ... More >>
The food universe is infinite, which makes learning about it a never-ending pursuit. For decades I've been marinating various meats, but it wasn't until I caught a rerun of America's Test Kitchen on the local PBS station that I gleaned the secret to getting a marinade to truly penetrate and add ... More >>
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It wasn't a happy Fourth of July for the the Pilgrim Evangelical Church in North Miami. The place of worship caught fire and was practically gutted by fire yesterday, and kids playing with fireworks on the church's roof might be to blame.
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The Dolphins' Chad Ochocino may be a bit of an oddball, but you can't say his heart isn't in the right place. After receiving a Twitter message from a fan in Ohio who had recently lost her husband of 30 years, the wide receiver decided to invite her to his upcoming destination wedding to reality TV ... More >>