Subject:

Miami Marlins

  • Calendar

    September 19, 2013
  • News

    April 4, 2013
  • Blogs

    April 4, 2013

    Marlins Have Shot at Breaking MLB Record: Starting Season By Getting Shutout Three Times

    Well, we were being a bit facetious by trying to get excited about the Marlins going on the longest losing streak in MLB history, but it turns out the team is already on the brink of setting another dubious record. They could become the first team on record since at least 1916 to start the season wi ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 4, 2013
  • Blogs

    April 1, 2013

    Marlins Suffer First Loss in What Some Hope Could Be Historic Streak

    In the first shutout of the young MLB season, the Miami Marlins fell to the Washington National 0-2 today, but fans of schadenfreude only have one number on their mind: 20. That would give the Marlins the single longest losing streak in the post-wildcard era. If anyone can top the 2005 Kansas City R ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 29, 2013

    Meet the 2013 Miami Marlins! A Position-By-Position Analysis of Baseball's Worst Lineup

    Step right up, meet your 2013 Miami Marlins, same as the 2012 Miami Marlins -- only completely different! If you're anything like me, you're angry, you're hurt, and you may or may not say to yourself during a jog, "Hey, that's a good place to hide a body named Jeffrey Loria!" But hear me out, we got ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2013

    Miami Marlins Refuse Venezuelan Team a Moment of Silence for Hugo Chavez

    You could trace the Miami Marlins' tailspin to last April, when new manager Ozzie Guillen pissed off the most important exiles in town by praising Fidel Castro. Surely the team had that fiasco in mind when news of the death of Miami's second-most-hated strongman, Hugo Chávez, was announced shortly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2013

    Ex-Dolphins QB Pat White Signs With The Marlins

    Sometimes it seems the Marlins and Dolphins are trying to pull one big joke on South Florida, and now it appears the Marlins are set to recycle one of the Dolphins biggest punchlines.Pat White, a name synonymous with Bill Parcells' crappy draft picks, has been offered a minor league contract with th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2013

    Marlins May Face Wrath of the Players Union If They Don't Up Payroll

    Locals aren't the only ones pissed over the Marlins' most recent fire sale. The MLB players union is also keeping a close eye on the team's roster, and apparently has promised to take action if the Marlins don't do anything about it soon.Well, lo and behold, MLB.com is out with a story today in whic ... More >>

  • News

    December 27, 2012
  • Blogs

    December 5, 2012

    Miami Marlins Trade Yunel Escobar, Now Have MLB's Lowest Payroll

    Yunel Escobar promised to be the strip-mined Miami Marlins' most interesting player next year. The Cuban shortstop had loads of talent, plus an unmatched ability to act incredibly dumb -- like last season, when he was suspended for writing the anti-gay slur "Tu Ere Maricon" on his eyeblack.Well, Esc ... More >>

  • News

    October 4, 2012
  • Calendar

    September 13, 2012
  • Calendar

    September 6, 2012
  • Blogs

    August 20, 2012

    The Franchise Will End Early Because The Marlins Suck So Much

    Wednesday night's episode of Showtime's baseball docudrama The Franchise, which this season is following the Miami Marlins, will be its last. At least two more episodes were originally planned, with the option for others, but the Marlins and Showtime have decided to pull the plug early, because, wel ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 9, 2012
  • News

    August 2, 2012
  • Blogs

    August 2, 2012

    Marlins Facebook Account Hacked with Promise of "Free Pit Bull" Night

    Earlier today, someone hacked into the Facebook accounts of several Major League Baseball teams and the Marlins were not spared. For a brief moment, the Marlins Facebook page promised the first 10,000 fans in attendance at the next game that they'd receive a free "fighting pit bull."

  • Calendar

    July 26, 2012
  • Blogs

    July 24, 2012

    The Marlins Have Officially Given Up All Hope This Season

    There was a time in May, when the Heat were on their way to a championship, the Panthers had won their first ever division title, and the Marlins completed the best record that month in MLB, when we had a glimmer of hope (albeit somewhat tempered by the Dolphins) that this may be the first year sinc ... More >>

  • Calendar

    July 19, 2012
  • Blogs

    July 18, 2012

    Report: Marlins' Hanley Ramirez and Heath Bell Could Be Traded for Boston's Carl Crawford

    In what could be the second-largest trade in Major League Baseball history, reports are flying that the Marlins could be shipping stars Hanley Ramirez and Heath Bell to Boston in exchange for the Red Sox's Carl Crawford. USA Today is reporting the trade, and apparently the deal may come down to whet ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 12, 2012

    The Franchise Episode 1 Recap: Peaks, Valleys & F-Bombs

    The first episode of The Franchise: Miami Marlins featured a shitload of F-bombs and was narrated by Don Draper, officially making The Franchise the greatest thing on TV ever.The first episode covered Ozzie Guillen's Fidel Castro comments, the team's blowing shit up in May, and their shit-the-b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 29, 2012

    Ozzie Guillen Wishes He Was Erik Spoelstra

    While the Miami Heat paraded down Biscayne Boulevard on Monday, hoisting their trophy from the top of double-decker buses, all Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen could do was watch. He'd been there before. Once as a member of the coaching staff of the 2003 Marlins, and again as the manager of the Chicago ... More >>

  • News

    June 28, 2012
  • Calendar

    June 28, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 26, 2012

    Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross Can Learn a Lot From Micky Arison

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>

  • Calendar

    June 21, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 7, 2012

    Top Ballpark Hot Dogs: What Should Be Marlins Signature Wiener?

    The Miami Marlins, who continue a homestand against the Atlanta Braves at Marlin Stadium tonight, have officially adopted a new pup to go along with their fancy new stadium, logo, name, and branding.Kayem Foods recently signed a multi-year contract with the team to be the official provider of all fr ... More >>

  • Calendar

    June 7, 2012
  • Blogs

    May 31, 2012

    Marlins Tickets Are Now The Cheapest in the MLB Despite Having the Best Record in May

    The Miami Marlins started the season with the most expensive tickets in the league. Granted, that was for their opening day game against the defending world champs in their brand new stadium, but according to a site that aggregates secondary market tickets prices, the Marlins now have the least in d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2009

    Dear License Plate Jesus, Take Away This Swine Flu and Give Us Back Our Bea Arthur

    What a roller coaster this swine flu, excuse me, H1N1 is: First someone jumped the gun on reporting the first case in Florida, a lady traveled through Miami carrying the virus, then 20 suspected cases in Miami-Dade were sent for testing. None of those came back positive, but two others in Florida di ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2009

    Will the Marlins ever win again?

    We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not a mirage and they're not going away," wrote the Da ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2009

    Jeffrey Loria Officially Got the Marlins for Free

    Remember this moment the next time you hear Jeffrey Loria whining about how much he needs a new stadium to keep the Marlins profitable. Remember it next year, when Loria sells off Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, Josh Johnson, and any other Marlins player who might command more than a few mil as a free ag ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2009

    Civic Ambivalence Has Lit A Fire Under The Marlins

    When it came to the Marlins stadium deal you had the ardent fans (all 600 of them) and the people who stood to make bushels of money rooting for it, and a bunch of rightfully concerned civic watchers hoping for its defeat, but when things were said or done the resounding response that spread through ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2009

    Our 2009 Marlins Predictions: Sub-600 Crowds, a Surprisingly Good Record, and a Payroll Lower than A-Rod's Knee Insurance

    BY GUS GARCIA-ROBERTS AND TIM ELFRINK Boy, were we pleased when Hanley Ramirez made an empty demand for a trade earlier this spring after the team forced him to mow his cornrows. Our joy had nothing to do with wanting to see Han-Ram go. We would sacrifice our first-born to Jeffrey Loria if we thoug ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2009

    Glenn Straub: Too little too late

    Hey Glenn Straub. I WANT to watch baseball downtown,. I WANT to TAKE the Metromover to games,But I wish you would just shut up.Straub penned a letter to the public (which you can find on the jump) defending his idea for a downtown stadium. But we've moved too far with the Little Havana stadium and I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2009

    Wait, the Marlins Are Playing Baseball This Year?

    With all the hullaballo and hubbub over the giant tax-pit ... um ... new Marlins Stadium proposal, it's easy to forget that the Fish are still a baseball team and the new season is almost upon us. It's a shame, really. For true baseball fans, Spring Training is the best time of the year. Everyone's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 30, 2008

    We Won The World Series

    Well, not quite. The Phillies did, but the good news for Miami is that the Marlins remain the only Florida team to win the championship, and Pat Burrell became only the second University of Miami alum to win the series. With the Canes, Burrell was named MVP in the 1996 College World Series, and was ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2008

    News Roundup

    Mario Diaz-Balart's latest campaign ad is apparently untrue. Misleading advertising? In my election? [Local 10] The Marlins are officially eliminated from play off contention. [Herald] Miami Beach City Commissioner Jerry Libbin wants to ban smoking from the beach, and ruin its reputation as the wor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2008

    Marlins Upgraded to a Category 5 Shitstorm

    Seems like only yesterday the Marlins were coming back against teams, overcoming seemingly insurmountable deficits and generally making life miserable for the Mets and Phillies while making a run at history. The Marlins were within grasp of the NL East. Now, they’re a walking disaster. Coming out ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2008

    Retire Now, Luis Gonzalez!

    The Marlins shoulda creamed the St Louis Cardinals last night. They didn't. The reason: Luis Gonzalez sucks. The Marlins 31-year-old left fielder came up three times with runs in scoring position ..and made three outs. The bases were loaded. There were two guys on base. He's supposed to be the go ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2008

    Marlins Make a Trade… for Arthur Rhodes?

    Manny Ramirez is headed to the Marlins! A deal is close! Sources are saying it’s only a matter of time! Here we go! Ready? And…. the deal is dead. The Red Sox sent him to L.A. instead. Sad trombone sound Okay, so the Manny to the Marlins thing didn’t happen. If you’re like me, your initial ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 31, 2008

    Manny Ramirez a Marlin? -- UPDATED

    UPDATE: Sorry, Fish fans dreaming of a summer watching Manny being Manny in Dolphin Stadium. Looks like the ManRam will be looking for the best place to take a leak behind the outfield wall in sunny Chavez Ravine instead. According to ESPN, the eccentric slugger is headed to the Dodgers in a three ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 31, 2008

    "Every Day is Fan Appreciation Day"

    The sign hangs over a locked turnstile outside Dolphin Stadium, gently mocking hundreds of Marlins fans trapped in a winding gauntlet of fences protecting the handful of ticket sellers at Wednesday's divisional showdown against the Mets. Lightning flashes. Torrents of rain darken the horizon. Cloud ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 2, 2008

    Trial For New Marlins Stadium Starts Next Week

    The trial to challenge the building of the Florida Marlins’ new ballpark is set to start next week. A postponement would’ve pushed the trial to September, but Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Jeri-Beth Cohen rescheduled the trial so that it could start by next Wednesday. This is good news for the Marlin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2008

    Marlins Up In Arms

    Good news: the Marlins now have 103 homeruns on the season – the most in the majors. Bad news: the pitching has been a bouillabaisse of pure unadulterated mediocrity. That was pretty much the case this past weekend when the Fish visited the Strip Club Capital of the World and faced their cross-s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2008

    Hanley Ramirez Is Just Like You, Except More Awesome

    Ideally, leadoff men are supposed to set the tone every night with their first at bat of the game. Last night, Hanley Ramirez set the tone on fire, kicked it in the onions and ran away with its hot girlfriend. The first place Phillies strolled into Dolphin Stadium for what is, right now, the most im ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2007

    Marlins Screw Fans Yet Again

    So the Marlins are at it again. They win a World Series and then end up trading everyone away. Why can’t they just keep people around. The Marlins are trading Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis for six prospects from the Detroit Tigers. Yes, they are trading the last two guys left from the 2003 t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2007

    Marlins Win World Series!

    OK so now I'm pissed. On the same day, the Marlins -- oop, I mean Red Sox -- win the World Series and the New York Times reports that former Marlins manager of the year Joe Girardi is the leading candidate to take over the Yankees. Oh yeah and did I mention that Miami's own Mike Lowell was the Wor ... More >>

  • More >>
Loading...