Miami Hurricanes

A Miami Clinic Supplies Drugs to Sports' Biggest Names

See also: "The A Rod Files: Every Mention of the Yankees Slugger in Tony Bosch's Records"

Duke Fan Who Attended Miami Game Writes Angry Column: "At Least Our Blue Devil Has Class"

If you watched the Miami Hurricanes' historic thrashing of Duke on the basketball courts last week, you might have spotted a few lonely dots of blue among the sea of orange in the student section. To no one's surprise, it turns out those Duke fans did not have a very good night.Michelle Picon, ... More >>

Here's Our Official Petition For South Florida to Secede From The Rest of This Awful State

The old line goes that "the great thing about Miami is how close it is to the United States." The truth is, though, the worst thing about Miami is how close it is to Florida.So, when we learned yesterday that there was an effort underway to have Florida secede from the union, we were thrilled. Becau ... More >>

Can The Miami Hurricanes Salvage This Season? They'll Try Tomorrow

Sometimes being in the ACC seems like sitting at the dorks' table in the cafeteria, but then you realize the conference is such a mediocre mess that even with a 3-2 conference record, you still have a path to being king of the dorks' table.Whether or not Miami will still have a clear shot at that el ... More >>

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Bikini Basketball and Other Florida Sports You Can Get Excited About

Sweet Jesus The Dolphins Suck: Here Are Four Sports You Should Watch Instead

Now is the season of Miami's discontent, thanks to our terrible local teams. The Dolphins are a joke. The Marlins are even worse than last year. The University of Miami Hurricanes aren't much better, losing to Kansas State by 39 points. The Florida Panthers are locked out. And South Florida's one ch ... More >>

The Office Perfectly Teaches You What to Do When You're Moving to Miami (Even When You're Not)

We're native to Southern Florida, but we have to imagine if we lived our lives in the chilly northeast and all the sudden found out we were moving to Miami we'd probably go around throwing our winter coats at people and proclaiming "I am going to Miami, Bi-atches, to hang with LeBron James and Glori ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes Take Care of Boston College 41-30 After Shaky Start

For about eight minutes it seemed like the worst predictions about this year's young Hurricanes squad seemed like they were going to come true. Boston College racked up two TDs, while the Hurricanes could only muster a four and out. It was like we were watching the Dolphins, and we'll have enough of ... More >>

Miami Not Likely to Follow If FSU Moves to Big 12

Could all three of Florida's traditional football powerhouses end up in separate conferences? News broke this weekend that Florida State University could be entertaining a move to the Big 12. That lead to some rumbling in the sports rumor-sphere that the Big 12 could also end up targeting some other ... More >>

Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

​Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow; what does that mean for Miami? Six more weeks of winter snowbirds dropping New York City money in our southern city economy. Per usual, Cultist has rounded out a list of the ten best events going down 'round the Big Mango this weekend, showcasing a variety of re ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes May Miss Out On A.J. Leggett, One of the Nations Best CBs, Because of Academics

The Nevin Shapiro scandal may have left all those folks talking up the Hurricanes football program as an upstanding group of brainy, good two-shoed scholars eating crow, but you better believe Donna Shalala is still dead-set on keeping up the school's academic reputation.Maybe that's why its likely ... More >>

The Miami Hurricanes Become the Joke on Happy Endings

​For the third time in a little over a week, a Miami sports team has been the butt of a joke on a national sitcom. First there was South Park's minor dig at the Dolphins, then The Office had a little fun at Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's expense. Continuing the trend last night, ABC's Happy Endin ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes Women's Basketball Overwhelmingly Picked to Win ACC in Preseason Poll

​Every year the ACC asks a cadre of local and national media members and representatives from member schools to make their preseason pick for who will win the Woman's Basketball title. Every year since 1995 either Duke, North Carolina or Maryland has won. Well, not this year.The University of Miam ... More >>

Barry Jenkins: Borscht Film Fest's real star

Obama Was Right: Hurricanes Ousted by Sooners in NCAA Women's Tournament

​Regardless of who holds the office, we generally prefer that the president of the United States generally be correct in his decision-making. Unfortunately for us, Barack Obama saw the Miami Hurricanes making a second-round exit in the NCAA Women's Basketball tournament at the hands of the Oklahom ... More >>

Barack Obama Snubs Hurricanes in His Women's Basketball Bracket

​The men's NCAA basketball tournament is underway, as is your office bracket, but the women's tournament kicks off tomorrow. Unlike the men's tourney, a local team, the Miami Hurricanes, actually has a shot at making it well into the depth of the women's tourney as a number three seed. Unfortunate ... More >>

Hurricanes Women's Basketball Continues Being Insanely Awesome, Smashes FSU

​It hasn't been an especially good sports year for hemophiliacs of the green and orange variety, and nothing drives that point home more than the lack of Hurricane wins over Seminole teams. In true team sports, only the Volleyball team has managed to top a 'Noles team this school year. Leave it to ... More >>

National Signing Day: pettiness reigns

Pettiness Rules The High School Recruiting Season

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the pettiness of college football's National Signing Day.I have to admit University of Miami Hurricanes head fo ... More >>

Al Golden is a Lot Better at Smooth Talking Recruits' Moms Than Will Muschamp

​Last Friday, touted quarterback Jacoby Brissett made a somewhat head scratching decision to sign with the Florida Gators over the Miami Hurricanes, and his mother is not happy about it. Both schools have new coaches, but apparently Al Golden has his mother-wooing game on lock, while Will Muschamp ... More >>

FSU Snaps Miami Women's Basketball Winning Streak

​There's something special going on this season with the Miami Hurricanes women's basketball team, but the squad experienced its first setback since their second game by falling to FSU last night 66-59. The loss ends Miami's 17-game winning streak, which tied Duke's longest winning streak in the n ... More >>

University of Miami Women's Basketball Enters Top 25

​Those of us who bleed orange and green may have been left holding back tears of orange and green after the disappointing football season, but cheer up Hurricanes fans. The most promising University of Miami team so far this year appears to be the women's basketball Ttam. They entered the AP p ... More >>

Don't Worry, Hurricanes Players Won't Get Killed by Mexican Drug Lords Either

​Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly seemed to have a lot of strange things on his mind leading up to the Sun Bowl. Things like nude beaches and Mexican drug lords. Ok, well maybe that last thing wasn't so strange. The Fighting Irish will be renewing their famous rivalry with the Miami Hurricane ... More >>

Golden Penned Sports Writers Take Golden Opportunity to Make Puns as Miami's New Golden Boy Goes for the Gold ...en

​Sports writers across the country were saying "Auuuu!" this morning over the prospect of making a Fort Knox worth of puns based on the name of University of Miami's new head football coach Al Golden. It's a "golden era" as the "golden Canes" take a "golden opportunity" on a new "golden boy," don' ... More >>

A Time Line To The Perfect Rivals: Notre Dame vs. Miami

Jonathan Daniels, Getty Images​As the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Miami Hurricanes prepare to renew one of the most heated, most riveting rivalries in college football at the Sun Bowl on December 31, we've compiled a time-line on the teams' previous meetings during the '80s via passages from Jef ... More >>

Hurricanes Schedule Home-and-Away with Michigan State Spartans

MSU's mascot briefly dated Snooki. ​It won't be for another 10 years, but the Miami Hurricanes and the Michigan State Spartans will meet in a home-and-away series in 2020 and 2021. Even with mixed results over the past few seasons, it seems the Miami athletic department isn't shying away from the ... More >>

ESPN to Broadcast Two Heat Games in 3D

​ESPN loves 3D, and despite the fact the technology is only available in a small number of American households they've launched the country's first 3D cable network this summer with ESPN 3D. They also seems to have a love hate relationship with two certain Miami sports teams, so it only makes sens ... More >>

Miami Hurricane Runs Front Page Story on Dangers of Four Loko

​You can't accuse University of Miami student newspaper The Miami Hurricane of not knowing their audience well: college students looking to get drunk for cheap. Today's edition of the bi-weekly paper carries a front page story on the dangers of Four Loko. For those of you who don't know Four Loko ... More >>

LeBron Thinks Ohio State Will Beat 'Canes, May Attend Game

​LeBron James may be headed back to Ohio soon. The Heat star tweeted today he may make an appearance at next Saturday's game between the Ohio State Buckeyes and Miami Hurricanes, but he'll be rooting for OSU.We wish LeBron would stop trying to re-ingratiate himself with Ohio sports fans. He's made ... More >>

Sports Illustrated Ranks '86 Hurricanes as Most Hated Sports Team of All Time

Hate on haters.​The Miami Heat are the new evil empire, yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, before they've even hit the court, the 2010-2011 Heat have been ranked the 25th most hated sports team of all time by Sports Illustrated. You can hate all you want, because this city is used to it. What's SI's most ... More >>

VH1 Hip-Hop Honors 2010 Recap: Top 10 Miami-Centric Moments

2010 VH1 Hip Hop Honors |Hip Hop Rally Machine |Hip Hop Honors Video Last night's VH1 Hip-Hop Honors show was full of hits (the return of Missy Elliott, for one), and misses (the glaring omission of Outkast, among many others). Still, much of it gave us some serious hometown pride. In a move that pr ... More >>

Corrupt Minerals Management Service Inspectors Are Not Hurricanes Fans

In retrospect, can we just claim this fight were the 'Canes heroic way of standing up to government corruption?​In the wake of the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, the interior department has been investigating that alarmingly tight ties between the oil industry and the Mineral Management Se ... More >>

Hurricanes in Talks to Take on Notre Dame in 2012

via Zazzle​It's one of the great college football injustices that during the past two decades or so, the Miami Hurricanes have had only one yearly heated rivalry.Those damn Fighting Irish and Gators pulled out of the annual matchups in '90 and '87, respectively. Miami has met Florid ... More >>

Hurricanes Not Hot on the Idea of Joining SEC Super Conference

It's the weird time of year where for college football fans when spring training is over and the NFL draft is in the history books, yet next season and even meaningful pre-season polls are months away. Which means they look for other things to talk and tweet and blog about, and lately that ... More >>

Could the Hurricanes Be Headed to an Expanded SEC?

​College athletic conferences are always finding new and exciting ways to further screw with the already tortured fabric of college football. The Big Ten has been talking for so long about expanding to 12 in order to get a championship game that we're surprised it hasn't happened. N ... More >>

Stormin’ to Omaha

God's Power Offor, a Hialeah Footballer, Tries to Win the Real March Bracket: Name of the Year

How strong is God's Power? via Name of the Year blogCan God's Power dominate this bracket?​Tough enough to take down both Hitler and Stalin? Tenacious enough to defeat the villainous X'Zavier Bloodsaw? Brave enough to destroy Dr. Speedy Nutz? America will soon find out. Miami may not have an ... More >>

News Roundup: Waiting For News from Haiti

The Haitian community in Miami waits patiently for word on their family on the Island. [NYTimes]Despite reports yesterday that all 12 Lynn University students in Haiti were accounted for, five are actually still missing. [CBS4]UF is also waiting to hear from two students who were in Haiti. [WSVN]The ... More >>

News Roundup: Your Barbecue Grill Is Not a Space Heater

A family brought a charcoal grill inside to keep warm. They had to be treated for carbon monoxide poisoning. [JustNews]  A 9-year-old girl and her stepfather were found shot to death in their apartment. Police believe it could be a murder-suicide.  [FoxNews] Today's 36-degree temperature ... More >>

Win Over Wake Forest Puts Miami Basketball in the Polls

Despite the fact UM Basketball has only lost one game this season they've lingered in the "also receiving votes" section of the AP's college basketball poll. Most likely because detractors pointed to the team's relatively easy early season schedule. But Saturday's win against ACC rival Wake Forest s ... More >>

News Roundup: Heat Rebound from Last Minute Loss to Lakers

Police have identified the woman who was shot by a high caliber rifle while driving her car in Miami Gardens, but aren't much closer to finding out how or why it happened. [CBS4]Saturday afternoon a 3 year-old girl in homestead found a family members gun and accidently fatally shot herself. [CBS4]A ... More >>

Miami vs. South Florida: So That Was a Rivalry Game, Huh?

​For a sold-out 65,000-plus seat complex during a supposed rivalry game, Raymond James Stadium was eerily quiet throughout much of Saturday's game between the Miami Hurricanes and the South Florida Bulls.Your intrepid blogger braved sitting in the USF student section and was warned by a Bulls fan ... More >>

News Roundup

Surprise, surprise! Politicians who were in favor of easing sanctions on Cuba changed their mind once they got big donations from the U.S.-Cuba Democracy Political Action Committee. [Herald] City of Miami politics sucks so much, sort of like a vacuum. So now their is a vacuum of power, if you w ... More >>

News Roundup

Gerald Posner speaks about the ol' coke days of Miami-past: "You could go to a dentist and pay him with an eight-ball. You could rent a boat with cocaine. It sounds like a bad movie, but it's true." [WSJ] The Miami Hurricanes took easy care of the FAMU rattlers in a game of college football. I ... More >>

Weekend Football: Let the Band Play On

 FAMU Rattlers @ Miami Hurricanes, Saturday 7pm on ESPN 306 and WVUM 90.5 FMThe Fins will play Monday, but first will come the Canes vs. FAMU game this Saturday. Let's hope the latter doesn't turn into a notable matchup. There are a few story lines, but mostly "yawn." The most exicitng part cou ... More >>

Cops Videotaped Pulling Guns on Innocent UM Student on His First Day of Class

UMPD holds student at gunpoint in a case of mistaken identity from Miami Hurricane on Vimeo. Jordan Chusid, a transfer student who originally attended UCF, was just about to leave campus after his first day attending University of Miami. Then he got an ol' Miami-style welcome: a gun to the head.&nbs ... More >>

News Roundup

A boat carrying about 200 Haitians capsized. Two are dead and about 85 are missing. [AFP]Found in Miami: Another dead horse, believed to have been killed for meat. [NBCMiami]"Can you tweet your way to a job?" Maybe, but it just sounds sad. [Herald]"Miami Hurricanes coach Randy Shannon: Top concern i ... More >>

Canes Falter in ACC Tournament

Being a Hurricanes fan is a bit tough at the moment, but there's always baseball. Oh, there will always be the baseball team. One of the greatest programs in college baseball are perennial contenders, but things haven't worked out that well this year. A 36-20 record is nothing to ... More >>