Miami Heat

Heat Are Eastern Conference Champions, Will Face Oklahoma City in NBA Finals

After blowing up the Boston Celtics Big Three Era (for the second straight season) in last night's 101-88 Game 7 triumph, the Miami Heat are headed to their second-straight NBA Finals. The Big Three known as LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh scored Miami's final 31 points, including all ... More >>

Miami vs. Boston Trash Talk: Our Heat Homer and Celtics Fanatic Get Ugly

Tonight, at last, it ends: Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals starts at 8:30 p.m., and it may well destroy the world as we know it. Okay, the game may only result in the destruction of a few TV sets and cars in the greater Boston and Miami areas, but it'll still be a clash of teams that aren't ... More >>

Best of Miami 2012 - Best Blog: Random Pixels

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 issue June 12 online and June 14 in newsstands.Best BlogRandom Pixels randompixels.blogsp ... More >>

LeBron James' 45 Points Lead Heat Over Celtics, Force Game 7

Brilliant.Extraordinary.Artist.Devastator.Maestro.Cobradick.

Things More Popular Than Rick Scott: LeBron James, Gay Marriage

Floridians continue to hate Gov. Rick Scott. In fact, 56 presently disapprove of his job handling, while only 31 percent approve. Things as polarizing as the Miami Heat and gay marriage are actually more popular in the state right now. Public Policy Polling decided to just ask Floridians how they fe ... More >>

If The Heat Lose Tonight, Who Might Not Be Wearing a Miami Jersey Next Year?

This is a silly, stupid little post to be writing. The Heat will of course stage a magnificent comeback tonight and go on to emerge victorious in the finals, because whatever powers that rule the universe will decide to give Miami, this muggy land of hurricanes, poverty, foreclosures and zombie atta ... More >>

The Heat Is Off: A Celtics Fan Finds No Foes in Miami Beach

Was I in the right place?Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals had just started, and the denizens of On The Rocks Sports Bar in Miami Beach couldn't give a shit. Well, that's not entirely true. The older woman seated to my right at the bar -- with her baby blue nails and sweaty glass of white wine ... More >>

Heat Choke Away Game 5, One Loss Away From Elimination

Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two games in a row.And yet ... More >>

Masseuse Dies at Chris Bosh's Home

A masseuse died at Chris Bosh's Miami Beach home on Sunday morning, according to Local 10. The cause of death has not yet been released, but according to a Miami Beach Police report, that woman had battled cancer less than a year before.

Heat Drop Two in Boston as Series Goes 2-2

The Miami Heat went into Boston over the weekend and promptly took a giant shit all over their season, as they allowed the Undead Celtics to fight their way back into the Eastern Conference Finals and knot things up at two games apiece. Games 3 and 4 were near mirror images of each other as the Heat ... More >>

Chris Bosh Coming Back For Game 5

Chris Bosh is coming back for Game 5 of the Heat-Celtics series, according to ESPN. We haven't been this excited about anything Bosh-related since he first signed with the Heat, because good basketball lord the Heat seriously need something to get them over the hump and finish off this series agains ... More >>

Heat Overcome Rajon Rondo, Take Game 2 in OT

The Miami Heat aren't going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in th ... More >>

Marlins Tickets Are Now The Cheapest in the MLB Despite Having the Best Record in May

The Miami Marlins started the season with the most expensive tickets in the league. Granted, that was for their opening day game against the defending world champs in their brand new stadium, but according to a site that aggregates secondary market tickets prices, the Marlins now have the least in d ... More >>

Miami Heat Getting a Free Ride From Miami-Dade, County Inspector General Finds

The long-awaited audit of the Miami Heat's contract with Miami-Dade County for the operation of American Airlines Arena is finally out. Last week, Banana Republican reported that Miami-Dade Inspector General Chris Mazzella's most critical finding was that the Miami Heat owes the county $3.1 million ... More >>

Heat Take Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals

The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for that guy ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Scores 41 as Heat Advance to Eastern Conference Finals

Remember when Dwyane Wade crapped the bed last week and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft.Wade dropped 41 points in Miami's 105-93 beatdown of the Indiana Pacers. MV3 scored 20 of his 41 in the second quarter, going 8-for-11 from the floor, and leading the Heat past what had bec ... More >>

Heat Take 3-2 Lead As Things Get Physical

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 58 points and the Miami Heat shot a franchise-best 61 percent from the field as they blew out the Indiana Pacers 115-83 last night. The series now heads back to Indiana with Miami up 3-2.But because this is the Miami Heat and because everyone needs a reason ... More >>

Miami Heat Watch Parties Tonight: Free Drinks at Haven, Wings at Moe's

The Miami Heat play the Indiana Pacers tonight with an 8 p.m. tip-off. With a 2-2 tie, fans not lucky enough to have scored tickets will be glued to the television for this game.There are several options for you to get out and cheer on the team to white-hot victory. Here are a few of the places offe ... More >>

Miami Heat Owe Taxpayers Millions, Dade County Inspector General Finds

The Miami Heat owe Miami taxpayers millions in cost overruns to capital improvement projects on the American Airlines Arena. So says Miami-Dade Inspector General Chris Mazzella, in an audit report that hasn't been publicly released yet but which sources close to the review have confirmed to Riptide. ... More >>

LeBron Makes History and D-Wade Bounces Back as the Heat Tie Series 2-2

What's better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its own ... More >>

Mugshots Friday: The Lost Tenenbaum and Madam Ginger

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Implodes as Heat Fall Into 2-1 Hole Against the Pacers

Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh's abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night's 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness ... More >>

Miami's Syndee Winters in The Lion King at the Arsht

Heat Drop Game 2 to the Pacers

Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>

Miami Heat's James Jones Get His Very Own Hypnotic, Stonerwave Music Video

Are you a Miami sports fan who sometimes like to get high and look at weird things online (because if you come to Riptide for sports news, then you very well might be)? Well, it's been a good few weeks for you. Just after some weird "Dolphinception" video hit the web, we can now present you with thi ... More >>

Heat vs. Pacers: Five Reasons Indiana Is the Butthole of America, From a Guy Who Lived There

The Miami Heat take on the Indiana Pacers tonight in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. It promises to be a fine basketball contest. The Heat are without the advantage of Chris Bosh. LeBron James is gonna go cobradick, and Rony Turiaf has promised to do more dancing. Nobody knows who's ... More >>

LeBron, D-Wade Rally Heat Over Pacers After Bosh Leaves With An Injury

A lot happened before the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers even got their Eastern Conference semifinals going. For one thing, Pacers head coach Frank Vogel put on a fancy hat and proclaimed himself captain of the SS Douchetanic, and started inexplicably bitching about how the Heat are a bunch of floppe ... More >>

Three Reasons the Miami Heat Will Knock Out the Knicks Tonight

In Game Four between the Heat and the Knicks, LeBron and D-Wade seemed to decide their buddy 'Melo needed at least one win to save face in New York, so they downed some Quaaludes and let the Knicks have their way with them. How else to explain Wade missing seven of 11 free-throws? They are free, Dwy ... More >>

Heat Can't Sweep as Knicks Take Game Four

The Miami Heat showed up to Madison Square Garden for Game 4 yesterday and, while they have plenty of fucks to give, they must have left them in their other jeans, because for three quarters the Heat played like they had none to give away. None fucks. And so the result was a 89-87 loss to the New Yo ... More >>

LeBron Scores 17 in the Fourth, Chris Bosh Is a New Dad, Heat Takes 3-0 Lead Over Knicks

In the annals of human history, people discuss three seminal events: the discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine, and LeBron James always punching the entire city of New York in the asshole. It seemed as if Madison Square Garden would be James's undoing last night. His first three quarters ... More >>

LeBron James Leads Heat in Blowout Over Knicks In Game 1 of Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

For all the regular season ups and downs, accolades and drama, people celebrating in the streets with pots and pans when the Miami Heat won, people setting themselves on fire when they lost, the real NBA games that count finally got kicked off yesterday. And with everyone saying that the season will ... More >>

Miami Heat Fan Punches Phoenix Suns Gorilla Mascot

A gorilla walks into a bar... Actually, it was a Dave & Buster's in Arizona. And technically, it wasn't a real gorilla. But the Phoenix Suns' back-up mascot did leave the arcade with a bloody nose after Miami Heat fan Timothy Austin decked him the face. According to the Arizona Republic, Robe ... More >>

"Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say" Video Finally Exists

Apparently, the "Shit ____ Say" video meme is still trudging along. Which means at this point in a meme's lifespan we wouldn't be drawing attention to any new entries unless they were pretty good. And this "Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say" video is pretty good.

Heat Take Down Bulls In Chippy Affair

Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>

Re-Heated Rivalry

Miami Heat to Open Hyde Nightclub in American Airlines Arena

The Dolphins have an outpost of LIV at Sunlife Stadium. The Marlins have a mini-Clevelander at their new park. Now, the Heat wants to get in on the in-stadium nightclub craze and is planning to open a new nightclub inside American Airlines Arena in time for next season.Unlike the other teams, howeve ... More >>

LeBron James Scores 17 in the Final Five Minutes To Lead Win Over Nets

Up until the last 50 seconds of last night's 101-98 win over the New Jersey Nets, the Miami Heat were flat out refusing to give a single fuck. Oh they had fucks. Had them stored away somewhere. Perhaps in a box inside a FedEx truck marked "playoffs." But they just weren't going to be giving any away ... More >>

Heat Sweep the Knicks, Win Southeast Division

The Miami Heat went into Madison Square Garden yesterday for the first and only time this regular season, and proceeded to mash the spleens of the New York Knickerbockers to the tune of 93-85, snapping New York's nine-game home-winning streak, sweeping the season series against the Knicks and taking ... More >>

Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT

Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>

Jordan’s Folly

Heat Loses to the Celtics at Home, Falls Three Games Behind Number One Seed

LeBron James scored a game-high 36 points last night, while the rest of the Miami Heat stood and watched as the Boston Celtics shot 60 percent from the floor in yet another listless-shit-the-bed-let's-all-go-outside-and-punt-a-litter-of-kittens-loss by the Heat.Rajon Rondo once again had his way aga ... More >>

Tip Drill Makes Her Comeback Debut at Dream

Tip Drill is back on the scene. Almost two months after a horrific fall while working the pole at King of Diamonds, Miami's most famous stripper was partying Wednesday evening at South Beach's Dream nightclub. The fete was looooooooseee!!!Dressed in all black hipster ensemble that included tights ri ... More >>

LeBron James Leads Heat In Big Win Over the Oklahoma City Thunder

Everybody can unclench their assholes now.The Miami Heat are fine.LeBron James decided to remind the world once again that he does, in fact, have the biggest dong of them all. Behind a 34 point, 10-assist performance, James led the Miami Heat to a 98-93 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder last night, ... More >>

Rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin Invites Miami's Scorn with "Heat Hater" Video

Last November, local aspiring rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin released a song blaming the NBA's "corrupt policeman" of a commissioner David Stern for the lockout.Now he's turned his white boy wrath on the Miami Heat, a move he admits is akin to wearing a "I (Heart) George Zimmerman" t-shirt to a Trayvon Ma ... More >>

Can We Start the Playoffs Already?

Heat Clinch Playoff Berth With 16th Consecutive Home Win

Weirdly enough, the Miami Heat only play like a bag of shit on the road, because they remain as dominant as ever at home. LeBron James dropped a season-high 41 points -- 15 in the fourth quarter -- as the Heat took down the Philadelphia 76ers 99-93 last night, winning their 16th straight home g ... More >>

Heat Turns In Worst Offensive Performance of Year, Loses to Celtics

​The Miami Heat has been unstoppable at home since the All-Star break. On the road, however, the team has been a big, heaping pile of ass. And that was certainly the case yesterday during their 91-72 gag reflex of a loss to the Boston Celtics.Rajon Rondo recorded a triple-double against Miami's de ... More >>

Watch Orlando's Old Amway Arena Get Blown Up By 600 Pounds of Dynamite

​Say bye, bye to the Double A. Amway Arena, the original home of the Orlando Magic, was imploded this weekend. Naturally, everyone loves the site of a 367,000-square-foot building being blown up by 600 pounds of dynamite, so watch the video below.

Local Activists Host "Carnaval to Unmask Carnival" Cruise Lines (Updated)

​South Florida activist group 1Miami is hosting a gathering this weekend in Hialeah and Little Haiti to bring Carnival Cruise Lines to the public's attention. They say Carnival is figuratively "sinking Miami." While most associate the cruise line with family memories, bad sunburns, and tanning oil ... More >>

Heat Beats the Suns With a Furious Fourth-Quarter Comeback

​For pretty much the entirety of last night's game against the Phoenix Suns, the Miami Heat played basketball like old people fuck. Winners of their last four games, the Suns came in shooting lights-out and playing suffocating defense. Dwyane Wade was shut down by Grant Hill, while LeBron James wa ... More >>