The Dolphins lost to the Ravens 26-23 yesterday after kicker Justin Tucker put the Ravens ahead for good on a 44-yard field goal with 1:42 left to go. The Dolphins had a final chance to at least tie the game thanks to some crazy heroics by quarterback Ryan Tannehill to evade the punishing Ravens rus ... More >>
You know that cliché that goes, "You can't eat your cake and have it too"? It probably came from one of our broke friends up north who spend their weekends staring at the wall and watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, because that's all there's to do since they don't live in Miami. Lucky fo ... More >>
After a humbling loss to the Saints, how will the Dolphins bounce back? What can they do? Who do they want to be? Are they better than what that performance delineated? Are they worse than what their record tells us? The season will answer these questions with unforgiving evidence. The path t ... More >>
According to Public Policy Polling (yes, the same people who do political polls), Florida's favorite NFL team is the Dolphins. The state's favorite college football team are the Florida Gators. And the state's favorite baseball team doesn't even play in Florida. Turns out the Atlanta Braves are twic ... More >>
Earlier today, a woman tried to ram the White House gates with her car and was subsequently shot and killed. Because these are the times we live in a meme-star has already emerged from this odd tragedy. His name is "bro witness." He is a bro who witnessed the event while shirtless and wearing a Miam ... More >>
David Beckham Major League Soccer contract came with a clause that he'd be able to purchase an MLS franchise of his own one day. It's been no secret that he's been scouting Miami as a potential location over the past few month. British tabloid the Daily Mail reports that Beckham is moving forward wi ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins were the first NFL team to ever lose a regular season in London. They kicked off the league's experiment of playing in Wembley Stadium back in 2007 with a 13-10 loss to the New York Giants. Well, this past Sunday when the Vikings and Steelers played in Wembley, the Wall Street J ... More >>
Your Miami Dolphins enter tonight's showdown between two 3-0 teams primed for an opportunity to show the world these are not the same old Dolphins limping into a primetime NFL matchup only to play like a paper bag full of shit. No, these Dolphins are coming into the Big Easy to win this fucker and b ... More >>
For much of the game yesterday, the Falcons bruised, battered and manhandled the Dolphins along the line of scrimmage, and there was the sense that this Dolphins game would end like so many others we've witnessed in the last decade or so: with a loud, wet fart heard for miles around as fans exited ... More >>
The Dolphins are now 2-0 for only the second time in a decade, and optimism about the team is all over the place. RYAN TANNEHILL WAS BORN FROM THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST! JOE PHILBIN FINALLY NABBED THOSE RASCALLY KIDS -- WATCH OUT, WORLD! COCKCAKES = SUPER BOWL! BRIAN HARTLINE IS A FELINE FRANCISCAN ... More >>
It's September 19, 1983. Scarface had yet to premiere in theaters. The Heat, Marlins and Panthers didn't even exist. The Miami Hurricanes had yet to win a national championship. LeBron James hadn't even been born. So many icons associated with modern day Miami had yet to exist. On that night, the ... More >>
Last season, the Miami Dolphins had one of the most embarrassingly meager home-opener crowds in the team's long history. This year, the Fins might actually sell out their home opener this Sunday against the Atlanta Falcons. As in an actual, honest-to-God sellout. Is it because the team is off to a ... More >>
Atlanta is getting a Major League Soccer team. Several reports today suggest that the deal is all but done. Which, in a way, is good news for Miami soccer fans, as it suggests the MLS is serious about bringing the league back to the South with Atlanta, Orlando, and Miami as their main targets. Thoug ... More >>
Before yesterday, the Dolphins had been 1-6 in season openers dating back to 2006 -- but lucky for them, the Browns had been a more dismal 1-12 in season openers dating back to their second go-around as a franchise in 1999. The Dolphins took advantage of this by whoopin' some dawg pound ass on the B ... More >>
Welcome to another Miami Dolphins season, kicking off this Sunday against the Cleveland Browns. Gone is the old logo and uniforms. Gone are many of last seasons players. Enter a lot of expectations for a franchise that has routinely disappointed it's fans over the past decade, or four. Sunday is a f ... More >>
If after an entire summer of being subjected to the song non-stop and you're still not sick of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines," then, boy, do the Miami Dolphins have a treat for you! TD the Dolphin teamed with two Dolphins cheerleaders to put their own rendition of the infamous video -- which is espe ... More >>
Usually if the Miami Dolphins are putting booty on display it's their cheerleaders, but according to Deadspin their official Twitter account accidentally sent out a picture with a big, while serving of player's ass in the background.
This year's horrific Boston Marathon bombing sent a clear message to NFL security chiefs: Big public sporting events are still prime targets for anyone looking to wreak havoc with a bomb. Their response? Leave your coolers, big purses, zipped-up seat cushions and oversized bags at home. Getting in ... More >>
Despite the fact that both the Miami Dolphins and the Fontainebleau hotel have tried to keep the incident out of the headlines, ESPN is reporting that after a night of clubbing at LIV, Dolphins guard Richie Incognito was allegedly involved in a fight with a hotel security guard that left the man unc ... More >>
NFL.com's Ian Rapoport has confirmed today that Miami Dolphins tight end Dustin Keller tore his tore his ACL, PCL, MCL and also dislocated his kneecap in Miami's 24-17 loss to the Houston Texans Saturday night, ending his season and putting the 29-year old's career in jeopardy.
Welp. At least those uniforms really pop in HD!!! Coach Joe Philbin and company were supposed to go out and show the world that the New Look Dolphins were not just about a new logo that looks like a whale penis and some flashy clothes that would make a World Football League team jealous. Instead, t ... More >>
With the 2013 Miami Dolphins football season nearing, fans of all shapes, sizes, and attitudes are readying themselves for the return of the NFL. Some of us are 75 years old and lived through a time when this franchise was second to none. Others are in our mid-30s and for the vast majority of those ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins have assembled for training camp with expectations set higher for the promising revamped roster than they have been in years, but that doesn't mean the mood is too heavy. Team veterans put Dolphins rookies through some playful hazing by playing hairstylist with a bit of bleach and ... More >>
The rain lately has really put a damper on the usual Miami life. The morning monsoons and rush-hour flooding is truly too much to deal with. Last night, we drove downtown and strongly considered turning the car around to go back home and pick up the ol' kayak. What gives? Luckily, Miami always ha ... More >>
Be honest with yourselves, Dolphins fans: After watching two straight ticker-tape parades down Biscayne Boulevard by that other pro team in town, it's gotten harder and harder to get jazzed up for preseason Fins games that basically amount to flag football contests. But this is 2013, and for the fir ... More >>
When the House spiked a bill two weeks ago to let the Miami Dolphins raise bed taxes to fund a stadium renovation, team owner Stephen Ross went ballastic, lashing out at Speaker Will Weatherford for taking away Miami voters' chance to have a say on the project. He shouldn't have bothered. Results r ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses Stephen Ross' next move. In the battle of Miami billionaires, Norman Braman beat Stephen Ross thanks to Florida House S ... More >>
I love Twitter a lot -- like 83,000-tweets-and-counting a lot. So I didn't troll everyone yesterday with fake news about Tim Tebow joining the Dolphins because I was mad. I did it because it would be funny, and also because it's fascinating how information goes viral -- particularly in the murky wor ... More >>
Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the biggest soccer stars in the world, so we doubt he has informed opinions on local tax and political issues in Miami-Dade. That's not going to stop him from appearing all over your TV screen for the next few weeks trying to get you to support the Miami Dolphins quest to ... More >>
With the NFL's annual tradition of wealthy, white-haired men selecting young, able-bodied (mostly) black men to perform physical endeavors for comparatively negligible pay aimed at aggrandizing the wealthy men's financial station, we're taking a look at who the Dolphins SHOULD pick -- and how they'l ... More >>
The new Miami Dolphins uniforms weren't supposed to be unveiled until Thursday, but it looks like they've hit the web a little earlier than scheduled. The only part of the new unis we'd seen till now had been a bit of white face mask.
For weeks, the Miami Dolphins have been promising that the team won't move forward with the $390 million renovation of Sun Life Stadium if the NFL doesn't award the city a Super Bowl in 2015 or 2016. Well, the Dolphins caught a break.A couple of hours ago, during deliberations by the Miami-Dade Coun ... More >>
Miami voters are one step closer this morning to getting the chance to weigh in on whether their tax dollars should go toward another big-ticket stadium project. Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Giminez announced that the city and the Miami Dolphins have agreed on a basic "framework" for a deal that would us ... More >>
Though it's been the worst kept secret in sports for a few weeks now, the Miami Dolphins officially unveiled their new logo today. The public intellectual trust that makes up Twitter users have basically fallen into two camps: that it looks like a sign for an aquarium or, oddly, that it appears to e ... More >>
You love your team so much that you get its logo permanently tattooed on your skin. Then the team does the unthinkable: changes that logo. Sure, that automatically establishes you as an old-school fan of sorts, but it's gotta suck when you have something inked on your body that the team abandoned.Me ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after one of the most watched shows on cable television.I've never been a big fan of the First 48, the reality-TV show that ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins are so confident the NFL is going to hand them a Super Bowl in May they've announced today that they'd let the county back out of any stadium renovation deal if Miami isn't picked as a host.
The NFL's free-agency period begins this Tuesday, March 12, and your Miami Dolphins -- with about $36 million in cap space -- are poised for one of the biggest offseasons in franchise history. Naturally, there's a good chance they'll fuck it up, but here are the five free agents the Dolphins should ... More >>
Come for the pretentious, arty stuff. Stay for the booze, Afro-Cuban funk, experimental freakouts, sports jams, drag queens, break dancing, and, uh, more booze. Once a year, New Times throws a big, ostensibly highbrow bash called Artopia. And officially, it's "an eclectic touch of art, culture, fa ... More >>
Listen Reggie Bush, it's not you. It's the Miami Dolphins. To put things in seasonal perspective: you're basically like someone whose gone a few good dates with someone, and right now you're waiting for the other person to call and make those big time plans for Valentine's Day. The Dolphins are ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins won their first legislative battle in a war to secure taxpayer money to cover half of the planned $400 million upgrades to Sun Life Stadium this morning as the bill passed its first Senate committee unanimously.
The Super Bowl is here again and - will you look at that - the Dolphins weren't even close to it again! This is the 29th year in a row since the Dolphins were in the championship round and here we are: Watching two teams better than our own team that is endlessly run by people too incompetent to be ... More >>
Stop bitching about the Dolphins drafting tactics, because according to one analysis, the team has been the second most successfully in the NFL over the past five years. Of course, looking at the Dolphins overall success over the past five years makes you wonder exactly how accurate the analysis is.
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke comes to the defense of the Miami Dolphins.I'm with Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross on this one. The county and state should gi ... More >>
Give Stephen Ross props. He stepped up to Norman Braman one billionaire to another and slapped him across the face with a clean white glove. With a full page ad undermining Braman's credibility in Tuesday's edition of the Miami Herald, Ross let Braman know he's got the cash to parry any attacks the ... More >>
The Miami-Dade County Commission has now officially put its stamp of approval on the Miami Dolphin's plan to seek tax money to provide upgrades to the aging Sun Life Stadium. Only four of the thirteen commissioners voted against the measure.