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Memphis Grizzlies

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2014

    Yes, the Miami Heat Can Return to the NBA Finals if These Five Things Fall Into Place

    Amazingly enough, it's already almost time to turn your attention to what's happening down on Biscayne Boulevard, as your new-look, less-hyped Miami Heat returns a week from today, looking to prove to the world that its world does not revolve around one man. The Heat still has the same goal -- cha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 11, 2014

    The Five Most Ridiculous Internet Signs About Where LeBron James Is Heading

    All hell has broken loose, and everyone is a suspect. Everything is a sign. Everyone knows; nobody knows. Yesterday was one of the most ridiculous days in the history of the internet, as Heat fans and Cavs fans sat around their Twitter feeds all day waiting for something, anything, to make or break ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 8, 2014

    22 Richest Pop Stars of 2014

    Pop stars. They're so rich it makes our brain hurt. The rest of us toil day in and day out for a yearly salary that these pretty-faced bastards would spend on shoes. Still, we all want to watch these guys live the lives that we never will, which in turn funds the whole spectacle. Oh well. Things ar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2013

    Heat's Haslem, Birdman and Miller are Now Underwear Models

    Well, Miami is about to have a former Armani underwear model as a professional sports team owner, so we guess it only makes sense that some of our current athletes would model some mens' underthings. It's not quite Beckham on the beach in briefs, but the Heat's Chris "Birdman" Anderson, Udonis Has ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 28, 2013
  • Blogs

    August 17, 2013

    Justin Timberlake and Jay Z Delivered More Big Hits Than the Dolphins in Miami

    Justin Timberlake and Jay Z Legends of the Summer Tour Sun Life Stadium, Miami Friday, August 16, 2013 For a second-rate basketball team, there were a disproportionate number of Brooklyn Nets jerseys at Sun Life Stadium last night. Well, until you remember that Jay Z, the co-headliner of the evenin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2013

    Mike Miller Responds Predictably to Jason Collins' Coming Out

    Jason Collins mentioned his former teammate and current Miami Heat player Mike Miller yesterday in his big coming-out story in Sports Illustrated by hoping that Miller might react to the news by talking about how he enjoyed being his teammate and remembering fondly the time he sold him a dog. Toda ... More >>

  • Calendar

    February 28, 2013
  • Blogs

    February 27, 2013

    Heat Holds Off Kings 141-129 in Double OT, Win Streak Hits 12

    It took 79 combined points from LeBron James and Dwyane Wade on this night to keep the Heat's win streak alive, but the streak lives: 12 straight and counting.LeBron dropped a stat line that hasn't been seen since the chain-saw scene in Scarface. He finished with 40 points, 18 assists, and eight reb ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2013

    Heat Trade Dexter Pittman: His Greatest Heat Hits

    In a shocking move that should surely rile the Miami fanbase, Pat Riley has decided to trade certified superstar Dexter Pittman to the Memphis Grizzlies. The legendary center will be dealt away with a second round pick. The Heat will gain a trade exception the "draft rights of forward Ricky Sanchez" ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 27, 2012
  • Blogs

    April 5, 2012

    LeBron James Leads Heat In Big Win Over the Oklahoma City Thunder

    Everybody can unclench their assholes now.The Miami Heat are fine.LeBron James decided to remind the world once again that he does, in fact, have the biggest dong of them all. Behind a 34 point, 10-assist performance, James led the Miami Heat to a 98-93 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder last night, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2011

    Shane Battier Says He's Signing With the Heat UPDATE: And Eddy Curry Too

    ​So despite the fact that the Miami Heat are severely hurting in the point guard and center spots, their first signing priority this season was apparently the owner's son's college buddy.In the first indication of the team's signing decisions, Shane Battier has announced he'll be playing for the H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    Wade, James and Bosh to Host Charity All-Star Game at FIU

    Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh haven't played together since the last game of the NBA Finals, and with the lockout in full effect we weren't sure when it would happen again. That's about to change. The trio is expected to announce plan for a charity All-Star game at FIU on Octobe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 24, 2011

    Defense Helps Heat Rally Past Pistons

    ​There are nights when the Miami Heat completely annihilate an inferior opponent and leave them buried in their wake of awesomeness by twenty or thirty points. Last night was not one of those nights.The Heat had to rally hard and overcome an eleven-point deficit in last night's 100-94 win over the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2011

    Heat Avenge 30-Point Loss to the Spurs With 30-Point Win

    ​Just ten days ago, the Miami Heat were in the midst of a five-game losing streak that included a season sweep at the hands of the Chicago Bulls and a press conference where head coach Erik Spoelstra told everyone that his players were crying after a loss. In the mix was also a 30-point loss to th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2011

    Udonis Haslem Returns to Practice, Might Play Again Soon

    ​Fan favorite, Miami Heat co-captain, and only actual local boy on the team, Udonis Haslem has returned to practice after tearing a ligament in his foot this past November. ESPN reports Haslem took part in shooting drills during team practice yesterday and that a return to competition before t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2010

    Heat Dominate Lakers in Christmas Day Showdown

    ​It was hailed as the most highly anticipated NBA game in the history of everything ever! The NBA game of NBA games! The game that was going to blow your ass off with its sheer apocalyptic awesome! And, in the end, the Miami Heat took down the defending NBA champion Los Angeles Lakers 96-80 in the ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 2, 2010
  • Blogs

    November 23, 2010

    Pat Riley, It's Time to Get Back in the Game

    ​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recommends Pat Riley pull a Stan Van Gundy on Erik Spoelstra.Pat Riley needs to stop wasting time writing love poems to h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 28, 2010

    Ex-Heat Star Antoine Walker Files for Bankruptcy

    via Wiki CommonWhile his ex-fiance Evelyn Lozada is living it up on the hit show Basketball Wives, former Heat star Antoine Walker has filed for bankruptcy. The forward helped the Heat secure their 2006 NBA championship, but his professional life has faltered ever since.The bankruptcy was filed last ... More >>

  • News

    February 11, 2010
  • Blogs

    December 14, 2009

    News Roundup: One Epic Hotel Guest Dead, 400 Relocated

    The Epic Hotel, in its quest to be fancy, has killed a man and hospitalized two others. It installed a powerful water filtration system that actually filtered out chlorine and caused the bacteria responsible for Legionnaires' disease to grow. Four hundred guests were evacuated while the ho ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 15, 2009
  • Blogs

    July 14, 2009

    Former Heat Player Antoine Walker Owes Casinos $822,500 in Gambling Debts

    via Wiki CommonsNBA forward Antoine Walker has bounced around to six teams and won the equivalent of the trade lottery when he played for the Miami Heat in 2005, winning an NBA Championship with the team less than a year later. His luck in Vegas casinos hasn't been as good. The Las Vegas District ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 5, 2009

    From the Desk of Patrick James Riley

    Dear Chicago, please trade us Derrick Rose for Michael Beasley...Dear Memphis, please trade us O.J. Mayo for Michael Beasley...Dear New Jersey, please trade us Brook Lopez for Michael Beasley...Dear Minnesota, please trade us Kevin Love for Michael Beasley...Dear L.A. (no, the other L.A.), please tr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2009

    The Heat Is Done. Now Can We All Agree the Team Drafted the Wrong Guy?

    The Heat's season ended yesterday pretty much the same way it played out all year long -- as a one-man D-Wade show. via Wikimedia CommonsOops. Wrong pick.Unfortunately for the Heat, Sunday's game was one of those "Wade can't possibly carry these clowns all by himself" duds, instead of those "Holy cr ... More >>

  • Music

    January 8, 2009

    Head Spins: DJ Affect

    South Florida's busiest head-spinner.

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2009

    Head Spins: DJ Affect

    One gets the impression that if there were eight days in a week, DJ Affect would be spinning each and every one of 'em. Hell, it's a bet he'd be spinning every day of the week if there were 10 or 12 or 20 -- that's how driven the cat is. When you're already spinning seven out of seven, what's a few ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 25, 2008

    Let’s Start the Debate

    Number one pick Derrick Rose versus number two pick Michael Beasley.

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2008

    News Roundup

    The Herald just straight up said the long early voting lines are State Republican's fault. [Herald] Gawker says "nutty conservative weather-obsessed Miami queen blogger" Matt Drudge is soooooo over. Gawker itself has been called sooooo over a million times before. That is just something powerful blo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2008

    Memphis Grizzlies Greeted by Confused Cheering Fans in Miami

    Poor little Memphis Grizzlies. They're one of only three NBA teams to never win a NBA Championship, Conference Championship or a Division Championship. They've won less than 30% of the games they played in the last two seasons. They gave the first pre-season win to the Heat last night, and to make m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2008

    Thanks to Shawn Marion, the Heat Now Have More Options

    Shawn Marion If the rumors are true that Pat Riley is lukewarm about drafting Michael Beasley, then perhaps Shawn Marion can help sort things out. Thanks to Marion’s choosing not to opt out of his contract last night, Riley suddenly has two major trade chips tucked in his $3,000 Armani suit pocke ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2008

    Heat and Mayo Together Doesn’t Sound Very Delicious

    ESPN NBA draft analyst Chad Ford reports that the Miami Heat had a workout with former USC guard O.J. Mayo and that Mayo could very well be the Heat’s first pick in this month’s NBA draft. And to that we give our own NBA draft analysis rebuttal by saying, “Whaaa?!” This, of course, is all ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 19, 2006
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