Los Angeles Lakers

Heat Beats Boston in 105-103 Thriller to Stretch Win Streak to 23

With the game tied at 103 and less than 20 seconds left, the basketball found itself exactly where Miami Heat fans would prefer it never leave: LeBron James's hands. Game. Blouses. It's a Miami Heat World right now, ladies and gentlemen, and we are just living in it.James rattled in a jumper with 10 ... More >>

The Heat's Winning Streak Hits 22, the Second-Longest Ever, With Victory Over Raptors

For a moment on this lazy Sunday afternoon in Toronto, it seemed as though it might all end for the Miami Heat exactly where it began. For a moment. With the game tied at 77 early in the fourth, the Heat turned on, well, the heat, blasting off on a 28-4 run to help secure a win for the 22nd straight ... More >>

Heat Beats Hawks 98-81 for 19th Straight Win

Right now, winning is the Miami Heat's business, and business is good. For the 19th straight time, the Miami Heat won, this time 98-81 over the Atlanta Hawks Tuesday night. The Heat never trailed in this game, because trailing is the cousin of losing, and losing is not an option in this dojo.As ... More >>

It's Time Miami Stops Being Lil Wayne's Bitch

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why Lil Wayne is a dick.Miamians are mad as hell at rapper Lil Wayne because he said fuck the Heat, LeBron James, Dwyane ... More >>

Miami Heat Fans Attack Lil Wayne: "Nah, Meng! We Declare War on You! Go Home!"

A warning: Don't fuck with the Heat. Unless you wanna get burned. And then chased outta town by a rabid mob of hard-core Dade County sports fanatics, led by a freakish orange-haired mascot with a miniature green basketball for a face. Of course, Lil Wayne don't listen to nobody. So ever since getti ... More >>

Miami Heat Worth $625 Million: Sixth Most Valuable in the NBA

The Miami Heat are worth a cool $625 million, according to the latest NBA team valuations by Forbes.com. That's up 307 percent since last year, or almost $200 million since 2012 when the team was valued at $427 million. Apparently that championship made a big difference.

LeBron James on Lakers Rumor: "I Don't Know Where it Came From"

Yesterday, ESPN ran a weird little piece of speculative fan fiction imagining the possibility of LeBron James ditching the Heat in 2014 to replace Kobe Bryant on the Lakers. It was a piece designed to cause controversy, more than, you know, report actual facts. 

Miami Heat's 2012-13 Schedule Released: Boston Opens The Year, OKC Comes At Christmas

Last season, the Miami Heat tied with San Antonio to capture the best home record in the league, and next season they'll be playing 14 of their first 22 games at home. So hopefully they'll have no trouble getting off to a quick start. In addition to playing the first game of the season at home ... More >>

Miami Heat Will Play Two Games in China Against Los Angeles Clippers

It may not be the Miami versus Los Angeles series most of us are salivating for (Heat take Lakers in six games during next year's finals, right?), but that's OK, because we won't even get to see it anyway. The NBA has announced that the Heat will head over to China for two preseason games against th ... More >>

Report: Grant Hill Interested in Signing With Heat

Well, South Florida is a retirement hot spot, so maybe it makes sense that all of these NBA veterans are showing interest in joining the Heat. Plus, the pre-retirement package comes with a pretty good shot at a ring or two.Following 36-year-old Ray Allen's decision to jump ship and take his talents ... More >>

Reader Mail: Metta World Peace Is a Scumbag

Luke's Gospel

Free Metta World Peace.

Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain Onstage

Metta World Peace Got Screwed By David Stern

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke stands up for Metta World Peace.I have a message for NBA overlord David Stern: Free Metta World Peace. The seven game suspension ... More >>

Tupac's "Live" Performance Will Bring Back More Dead Artists

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke marvels at the technology that brought Tupac back to life. The lifelike image of Tupac Shakur performing onstage at Coachell ... More >>

Big Four? Dwight Howard Interested in Miami Heat, Reportedly

​It's not a secret that Magic Center Dwight Howard won't be staying in Orlando much longer, and the saga of where he ends up may be the NBA's most dramatic decision since, well, LeBron landed in Miami. Could Howard's tale have the same ending? A Sports Illustrated reporter says that Howard has rea ... More >>

LeBron James Steamrolled Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Last Night (Video)

LeBron picks Loria up off the ground, after the bodyslam.​The best part of last night's game wasn't that LeBron James dropped 31 points, or that the Heat crushed Kobe's Lakers without Dwyane Wade. Honestly, the best part wasn't even when LeBron James absolutely pancaked Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey ... More >>

LeBron Goes Off, Heat Win, All is Well

It took three games and a half of shitty basketball, but the Miami Heat finally got their mojo working in the second half of last night's game, and eventually blew away the visiting San Antonio Spurs 120-98.With a hobbled Dwyane Wade unable to play on his birthday, it was up to LeBron James and Chri ... More >>

Shaq Criticizes LeBron in Latest Autobiography Excerpt

​A second round of excerpts from Shaquille O'Neal upcoming Autobiography have hit the web. In the first round, Shaq detailed his near-fight with Pat Riley, but in the latest the first Miami Heat messiah criticizes our current one, LeBron James.

Shaquille O'Neal wages war against a Miami computer geek

2011-12 Heat Schedule Released: Mavs Rematch Set For Christmas Day

​The NBA has released its 2012 schedule (assuming the lockout doesn't delay play), and the Miami Heat will kick off its season at Madison Square Garden against the Knicks. The team will also be working on Christmas Day this year in an NBA Finals rematch against the Dallas Mavericks in an away game ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Open to Possibility of Playing Overseas During Lockout

Dwyane Wade could be taking his talents across the ocean. The Miami Heat guard was in suburban Chicago with Chicago Bears (and former Miami Hurricanes) player David Hester while the two were hosting camps for kids. Wade told the AP he'd be open to playing for the foreign league if the NBA lock out d ... More >>

J.J. Barea Open to Signing With The Heat

​Dirk Nowitzki may have walked away with the finals MVP award after the Dallas Maverick's drubbing of the Miami Heat, but he couldn't have done it without the explosive play of J.J. Barea. That fact was made all the more painful because Barea is a graduate of Miami Christian and a former Miami-Dad ... More >>

Shaq Finally Retires from Basketball

​As the Miami Heat are on the hunt for the second NBA Championship, the big man who helped them secure their first has announced his retirement from professional basketball. After 19 seasons in the NBA, four championships rings, 15 trips to the All-Star Game, an MVP award and six teams, Shaquille ... More >>

Chris Bosh Sues To Keep His Ex, Allison Mathis, Off Basketball Wives Reality Show

​Chris Bosh hand-delivered a giant turd sandwich against the Boston Celtics this weekend, shooting three of ten from the field for 7 points. But cut the guy some slack. He may have had other battles on his mind.Bosh filed a lawsuit yesterday against his ex-girlfriend and a TV company in L.A. to pr ... More >>

The Heat's Road to the NBA Championship

​The day is almost here. After one of the most scrutinized regular seasons afforded to any team in just about all of NBA history the Miami Heat are set to platy their first play-off game with LeBron James and Chris Bosh joining Dwayne Wade in red and black tomorrow. They'll face off at home ag ... More >>

Chris Bosh Elle Interview Confirms He's Too Nice to Be Awesome at Sports

​As the Miami Heat have struggled this season, critics have repeatedly pointed their fingers at the team's new $100 million big man, Chris Bosh, for playing soft. The 6'11" forward has struggled to assert himself in the paint since arriving from Toronto, leading to whispers that he had "gone Canad ... More >>

Heat Avenge 30-Point Loss to the Spurs With 30-Point Win

​Just ten days ago, the Miami Heat were in the midst of a five-game losing streak that included a season sweep at the hands of the Chicago Bulls and a press conference where head coach Erik Spoelstra told everyone that his players were crying after a loss. In the mix was also a 30-point loss to th ... More >>

LeBron James Needs to Get Some of that Drug Called Charlie Sheen

via Alex PardeeThe new Heat mascot?​We were led to believe that LeBron James was special. That he was bitching, a total frickin' rock star from Mars. That he had tiger blood and Adonis DNA. That he was some sort of basketball warlock. That his joining the Heat would mean, duh, WINNING! But that ha ... More >>

LeBron James Goes Off, Scores Rare Triple-Double In All-Star Game Loss

​It would seem, at first glance, that the people who decide who should be the All Star MVP were being sarcastic when they awarded it to Kobe Bryant instead of LeBron James last night. Mainly because James recorded himself a triple-double with 29 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists -- joining Michae ... More >>

Prunk TV's Greatest Hits: David Banner, Rick Ross, Carmelo Anthony, Mack Maine, and Lil Jon

via SF WeeklyDavid Banner wilding out at SXSW.​First off, I want to congratulate David Banner (featured in this week's episode of PrunkTV after the cut) on his induction into the Mississippi Musicians Hall of Fame, alongside Elvis, B.B., and Muddy! David Banner was one of my favorite i ... More >>

Scottie Pippen Calls Chris Bosh Half a Player, Doesn't Think Heat Will Break Any Record

​When Scottie Pippen sits down to watch TV, he doesn't see much difference between Two and a Half Men and a Miami Heat game. We guess LeBron is Charlie Sheen, Wade is John Cryer, and Chris Bosh is apparently that chubby kid who's awkwardly aged in front of America. In an interview with Slam Online ... More >>

Charles Barkley Calls Chris Bosh an Ugly Girl

​With the addition of Chris Bosh to the Eastern Conference's reserve roster your Miami Heat big three are all officially all stars. Yeah, the Boston Celtics have more All Star players (four on the reserve roster), the Heat have the most in the starting line-up. Of course with two teams making up m ... More >>

LeBron James Tells Cleveland That "Karma is a b****" on Twitter

​It's been a while since the card-carrying members of the Miami Heat Hate Machine have had any real reason to hate LeBron James with all their might. Mostly, they've tried to twist his words into discourses of pure evil, or take a certain gesture or facial expression out of context all to shoehorn ... More >>

Awkward: Cavaliers Change Hotel Plans to Avoid Bumping into Heat

​How awkward and tense have things gotten between the Miami Heat and Cleveland Cavaliers? Apparently it's so bad that the Cavaliers have changed their hotel plans in order to avoid bumping into the Heat. Both teams are on extended road trips on the West Coast. Both teams will be playing mid-week g ... More >>

The Dirty Dozen: Heat Win Twelfth Consecutive Road Game in Thriller

Killin' deer... Like a Bosh!​The Miami Heat and their consecutive road win streak were almost done in by a giant and a hobbit. But the Heat managed to keep their bearings and survived a tenacious Milwaukee Bucks in a 101-95 overtime victory. Seven-foot center Andrew Bogut grabbed 27 rebounds ... More >>

Flash No More

Mayor Carlos Alvarez Pens Love Letter to the Heat for ESPN

​If you're the Mayor of Miami-Dade County and you're facing a well-funded recall effort, how do you drum up some good will? With all eyes on the Miami Heat, writing an open love letter to the 305 dream team for ESPN.com isn't a bad idea. That's what Carlos Alvarez has done.

Kourtney and Khloé Will No Longer Take Miami, Heading to NYC for Third Season

​We hate to be the bearer of bad news, and we know you all will be absolutely devastated by this somber development, but it appears that Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian are done taking our fair city of Miami. Apparently, they consider it conquered, and for the third season of the show, th ... More >>

Pat Riley Pleads With Judge to Go Easy on Michael Douglas's Drug Dealer Son

​Life must be so tough for you when you're born to a megarich Hollywood superstar like Michael Douglas. It's such a tragedy getting cast in crappy movies because of who your dad is, so please forgive Cameron Douglas. Isn't it understandable he's been caught time and time again with drugs ... More >>

Isiah Thomas struggles to reshape FIU hoops

Gays leave unfriendly South Beach for Fort Lauderdale

Top Ten of the Decade: Miami Sports Moments

Riptide 2.0's regular sports commentator and FinsNation blogger Chris Joseph looks back at the top ten Miami sports moments of the decade. Low points like the Miami Dolphins crappy performance and the after-thought known as the Florida Panthers didn't make the cut. Sorry. ​10. Canes BaseballCoach ... More >>

News Roundup: Heat Rebound from Last Minute Loss to Lakers

Police have identified the woman who was shot by a high caliber rifle while driving her car in Miami Gardens, but aren't much closer to finding out how or why it happened. [CBS4]Saturday afternoon a 3 year-old girl in homestead found a family members gun and accidently fatally shot herself. [CBS4]A ... More >>

Top Five Dream Miami Heat Lineups for 2010

Photo by Keith Allison, via Flickr​Running off the pure optimism of Wednesday night's opening beat-down of the New York Knicks, I present to you the top five Miami Heat starting lineups for the 2010-2011 season.As most fans know, the Heat will have perhaps the best cap space situation in the leag ... More >>

Isiah Thomas 'Hurt' that Magic Johnson Would Get Upset About Having his Sexuality Questioned

via We Are The Postman​Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas used to be such good friends they exchanged kisses on the cheek when the Lakers met the Pistons in the 1988 NBA Final, but in a new book due to be released November 4th Johnson admits that there's been bad blood between the two since the early ... More >>

Bring Lamar Odom Back to Miami

WikicommonsReports this morning say L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss has withdrawn his offer to NBA forward Lamar Odom after Odom's agent didn't contact Buss with an answer. The offer was for four years/$36 million or three years/$30 million. Apparently, Odom is holding out for a five-year/$50 million d ... More >>

Shaq Returns, Has Not Yet Twittered from Miami

via TwitPicSo far, it has to have been a strange week for Shaq. Perhaps not as weird as the first week shooting Shazam, but strange nonetheless. Scheduling has forced the man to do an impromptu tour of his former teams. On Saturday, Shaq and the Suns beat Kobe and the Lakers at home; then last night ... More >>

Shaq for Marion? Make it Happen

Inward Navigations