Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking music made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke doles out some advice to pop music's bad boy. Justin Bieber is no different from Kim Kardashian. He has to do outrageous things to ... More >>
Indie directors weigh in -- and the site responds.
Hotelier Vikram Chatwal was arrested and charged with eight counts of possession of various substances, including cocaine and marijuana, earlier this week at a checkpoint at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. Chatwal was flagged by behavior detection officers and was searched on April ... More >>
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>
Much like a gossip blog, the Miami Hurricanes have been chugging along with scandals, crime and epic fails for the past few years, so head coach Al Golden pretty much hit it on the head when he said, "It's been TMZ since I've been here."
Either you're too busy staining your sheets with sweat and other bodily fluids to read this right now, or your secret suspicions that everyone else in town is constantly getting laid are about to be confirmed. According to a Trojan Condoms survey, Miami is America's sex capital. We rate first not on ... More >>
Last summer, millions of Cubans were deliriously ready to blow their meager earnings on badly knit Che dolls on Etsy, flood Facebook with Fidel-praising status updates and, yeah, just download mucho, mucho porn. High-speed Internet, they were told, was finally coming to the masses via a 1,000-mile l ... More >>
EXCLUSIVE! You know Nikki "Hoopz" Alexander, the reality television star who is dating and possibly married (without a prenup! What?!) to Shaquille O'Neal and is always comically kissing him? Well, she'll be doing some celebrity boxing in South Florida, and Shaq will be the corner ma ... More >>
Pit and Gloria go "gleek."The corridors of William McKinley High are a long fucking way from Calle Ocho, chico. But today, Entertainment Weekly reported that Pitbull is "being courted" by the producers of Fox's Glee to play the older brother of Santana (Naya Rivera), a newly out and proud lesbi ... More >>
Ah, Thanksgiving; the time of year when Pilgrims and Indians grow corn and shoot unsuspecting turkeys all in the name of a gigantic overindulgent feast.Nowadays however, Thanksgiving is known for its family-oriented festivities where all the relatives can get together in one place and criticize e ... More >>
Heeeere's Johnny!Halloween is almost here and you have a dilemma. There's a pumpkin on your doorstep ready to be carved, but what do you do? Sure you can do the standard Jack O' Lantern, but how boring is that? Why not turn that giant orange gourd into a work of art? It's actually easy sinc ... More >>
Have a heart. Don't give these candies to trick-or-treaters.Halloween is this week and with it comes trick or treating and candy. Candy, by its very existence, is sweet, delicious and created solely to make you feel good. So, of course, some genius decided that if you can mold candy into, say a t ... More >>
Why are music cruises all the rage? Is it some kind of reactionary Great Recession diversion for those few who can actually afford it? Back in February, Miami's young-adults-in-leather-jackets got a taste of the open seas with the garage rock-themed Bruise Cruise. Atlanta scuzzballs Black Lips w ... More >>
This, for some reason, is the only image we have on file of Summerwind. Would you like to own a yacht that once hosted the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Mike Tyson? Would you like to to be the captain of a boat that was described as something like a Studio 54 of the seas for dorks complete with alle ... More >>
Today, The Miami Herald, a newspaper that has won 20 Pulitzer Prizes in its history for covering things such as voter fraud, the Haiti earthquake and U.S. Iran-Contra affair, took to its Twitter to publicly congratulate Kim Kardashian, a basic cable reality television star who rocketed to fame af ... More >>
Liz Taylor sells candy in a 1950s Whitman's adMovie legend, late-in-life food fan and onetime Miami resident Elizabeth Taylor has died. Taylor, 79, was diagnosed with congestive heart failure six years ago. She was married eight times, won two Oscars, played footsie with Michael Jackson an ... More >>
Except when it's not downright dull.
Toot! Toot! All Aboard the SS Media Embarrassment! Today, New York Times columnist Gail Collins tackled the tricky subject of billionaire Florida Democratic Senate candidate Jeff Greene. She calls the man's 145 party boat the Summerwind the "Levi Johnston of Yachts" because it's "an embarrassing, ... More >>
Just how "Twifficient" are you?You have only two people "following" you in common with your dream guy or gal, and you have a humble Twifficiency rating of 17 percent, compared to their 37 percent. Face it -- you're just not as Twitter-popular as your other half, but does that alone mean it's time ... More >>
Photo by Jacquelynn D. PowersMatzo ball soup at Jerry's Deli. As a countdown to New Times' "Best of Miami" 2010, Short Order is serving up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305. Send your nominations to email@example.com.
Illustration courtesy of Jason SeilerRoyal Flush: Scott Storch Miami New Times scribe Gus Garcia-Roberts has a gem of a feature about the rise and complete ruin of South Florida hip-hop producer Scott Storch, who once played John Travolta's role in Grease and can play any top 40 song from the pas ... More >>
via PeopleLindsay Lohan's wrecked MercedesAlmost like visiting a surgeon, an undertaker or a divorce lawyer, heading to a car repair shop is never a fun time. With Miami's reputation for dirty driving and traffic, it's something we've all had to do. Oddly, a new study by AutoMD.com shows that wh ... More >>
The hottest trend in Hollywood is dating lesbian DJs. Lindsay Lohan had Samantha Ronson. Australian pop singer Sia has coupled up with JD Samson of Le Tigre. So it was only a matter of time before Fort Lauderdale-based DJ Tracy Young got a semifamous girlfriend of her own.According to US Wee ... More >>
We've been hit with a cold front, and if you're like Riptide, your office is about as cozy as a gulag right now. But that's OK, because this week's batch of morons has a MWQ (Moronic Wattage Quotient) powerful enough to heat a three-story building. Throw on a Christmas sweater and rub your hands in ... More >>
Somehow, someway we survived Art Basel week. We are exhausted to say the least, so no witty comments. Here is what you missed over the weekend:Justice at MansionPhoto by Lex HernandezElectrohouse icons Justice made a long overdue Magic City appearance Friday night at Mansion. Their banger-filled ... More >>
Fidel is a jerk. Raul is nearly as bad.But what nailed the USSR will get Cuba. Let my people in!The heads of foreign affairs committees in both houses of Congress -- Sen. Richard Lugar and Rep. Howard Berman came out together to say the 50-year-old ban should be lifted. Hell, Lugar is even a Repu ... More >>
Courtesy of 7-ElevenWhat's warm and fuzzy and the color of poo?There's nothing that makes me want to buy a Taquito and Big Gulp more than a ferocious-looking piece of fuzzy poo.Yeah, if only I was being factious. The truth is, I fell for Domo, the rectangular, brown Japanese creature making his a ... More >>
via BravoTVGeorge and Martha of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Burt Pugach and Linda Riss of Crazy Love. Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan of Us Weekly. Pop culture is full of quite literally insane couples who manage to stay together no matter how much we're secretly rooting for their relations ... More >>
via Planet-MuDwyane Wade's former business partner has been talking crap about him to anyone who would listen, so Wade had no choice but to play defense and file a libel suit. The details of the Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub's torrid early years in Miami just gets weirder and w ... More >>
Former celebri-priest and confessed sex-haver Father Cutié became Lay Minister Cutié this week and joined the Episcopal church so he could marry his girlfriend. Though, he's not the first to change faiths in the name of love. The Cat Killer struck again. Once we catch this guy (gal? ... More >>
We're only five days into the new year and things don't seem to be getting any better. The conflict in Gaza continues to escalate despite the pleas for a cease-fire, and the economic outlook isn't looking any better. And in the grossest display of humanity, pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian protesters ... More >>
See the final images of Marilyn Monroe.
A new downtown steak house keeps 'em smiling.
A few more changes would've helped Transformers
Thats why Sandra Bernhard can say whatever she likes
For the week of November 24, 2005
Good and bad, music videos gave us something to talk about this year
Talking smack wreaks high school havoc in Mean Girls