LeBron James

Heat Overcome Rajon Rondo, Take Game 2 in OT

The Miami Heat aren't going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in th ... More >>

Heat Take Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals

The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for that guy ... More >>

Heat Take 3-2 Lead As Things Get Physical

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 58 points and the Miami Heat shot a franchise-best 61 percent from the field as they blew out the Indiana Pacers 115-83 last night. The series now heads back to Indiana with Miami up 3-2.But because this is the Miami Heat and because everyone needs a reason ... More >>

LeBron Makes History and D-Wade Bounces Back as the Heat Tie Series 2-2

What's better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its own ... More >>

Heat Drop Game 2 to the Pacers

Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>

LeBron, D-Wade Rally Heat Over Pacers After Bosh Leaves With An Injury

A lot happened before the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers even got their Eastern Conference semifinals going. For one thing, Pacers head coach Frank Vogel put on a fancy hat and proclaimed himself captain of the SS Douchetanic, and started inexplicably bitching about how the Heat are a bunch of floppe ... More >>

LeBron James and the Heat Extinguish Knicks, Move on to Eastern Conference Semis

After losing Game 4 in New York, and after the Knicks celebrated with streamers and threw a parade down the Canyon of Heroes after winning their first playoff game in 4,024 days, the Miami Heat reminded everyone that they, in fact, are the better team and finally extinguished the Knicks from the pla ... More >>

Heat Can't Sweep as Knicks Take Game Four

The Miami Heat showed up to Madison Square Garden for Game 4 yesterday and, while they have plenty of fucks to give, they must have left them in their other jeans, because for three quarters the Heat played like they had none to give away. None fucks. And so the result was a 89-87 loss to the New Yo ... More >>

LeBron Scores 17 in the Fourth, Chris Bosh Is a New Dad, Heat Takes 3-0 Lead Over Knicks

In the annals of human history, people discuss three seminal events: the discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine, and LeBron James always punching the entire city of New York in the asshole. It seemed as if Madison Square Garden would be James's undoing last night. His first three quarters ... More >>

Heat Takes 2-0 Lead Against Knicks

Game 1 of the Eastern Conference quarterfinals between the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks was all about LeBron James smashing people's faces with his giant ball sack. Last night's Game 2 was more of a team effort, with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh turning in big-time performances worthy of their a ... More >>

Miami Heat Dominates GQ's Most Stylish Players List

Was there really any question that the Miami Heat are the most "GQ motherfucker" team in sports history? GQ itself seems to confirm this, because their recent "Most Stylish NBA Players Ever" list is dominated by Miami Heat players. And yes, the big three dominates the top five.

LeBron James Leads Heat in Blowout Over Knicks In Game 1 of Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

For all the regular season ups and downs, accolades and drama, people celebrating in the streets with pots and pans when the Miami Heat won, people setting themselves on fire when they lost, the real NBA games that count finally got kicked off yesterday. And with everyone saying that the season will ... More >>

Heat Take Down Bulls In Chippy Affair

Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>

LeBron James Scores 17 in the Final Five Minutes To Lead Win Over Nets

Up until the last 50 seconds of last night's 101-98 win over the New Jersey Nets, the Miami Heat were flat out refusing to give a single fuck. Oh they had fucks. Had them stored away somewhere. Perhaps in a box inside a FedEx truck marked "playoffs." But they just weren't going to be giving any away ... More >>

Here Are Some Really Interesting Street Couture LeBron James Jerseys

Unknwn, the Aventura Mall shop owned by LeBron James and friends, just debuted online shopping on their website, and to celebrate the store teamed up with street fashion's Dr. Frankenstein-like couturier Dr. Romanelli for a limited edition collection of some, uh, really, really interesting LeBron je ... More >>

Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT

Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>

LeBron James Leads Heat In Big Win Over the Oklahoma City Thunder

Everybody can unclench their assholes now.The Miami Heat are fine.LeBron James decided to remind the world once again that he does, in fact, have the biggest dong of them all. Behind a 34 point, 10-assist performance, James led the Miami Heat to a 98-93 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder last night, ... More >>

Heat Clinch Playoff Berth With 16th Consecutive Home Win

Weirdly enough, the Miami Heat only play like a bag of shit on the road, because they remain as dominant as ever at home. LeBron James dropped a season-high 41 points -- 15 in the fourth quarter -- as the Heat took down the Philadelphia 76ers 99-93 last night, winning their 16th straight home g ... More >>

Miami Heat's LeBron, D. Wade, and Bosh Start a Jazz Band! Ten Genres They Should Play Next

No joke ... Miami Heat superstars LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh got together to play a little jazz in honor of Bosh's 28th birthday. According to TMZ, it all went down at the Adrienne Arsht Center at a high-profile party that included Heat don Pat Riley and producer Timbaland. Unannounc ... More >>

Heat Beats the Suns With a Furious Fourth-Quarter Comeback

​For pretty much the entirety of last night's game against the Phoenix Suns, the Miami Heat played basketball like old people fuck. Winners of their last four games, the Suns came in shooting lights-out and playing suffocating defense. Dwyane Wade was shut down by Grant Hill, while LeBron James wa ... More >>

Magic Formula

LeBron James Promotes Pork Donuts and Ice Cream in China

​It may be the best athlete food endorsement since "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Slim Jim, or it could be the worst since Mike Tyson and Pepsi, but Dunkin' Brands Inc. announced Monday that LeBron James will promote pork donuts, among other products, in China and elsewhere in Southeast Asia, accord ... More >>

LeBron, Wade and Udonis Publicly Recruit Peyton Manning, Also Beat the Hawks

​After struggling for most of last night's game against the Atlanta Hawks, the Miami Heat finally decided to stop dicking around and began to hit their shots and play their anaconda-style defense just in time to comeback from as much as 10 points and beat Atlanta 89-86.More importantly however, be ... More >>

Heat Fall to the Lakers as Masked Kobe Drops 33

​Kobe Bryant and his broken face scored 33 points, as he and the Lakers took down the Miami Heat 93-83 yesterday, handing Miami their second consecutive loss.It was the first meeting between L.A. and Miami since Dwyane Wade inadvertently broke Kobe's nose during a hard foul in the All Star game la ... More >>

Gloria James, LeBron's Mom, Strikes Plea Deal in Fontainebleau Valet Slapping Case

​Gloria James, mother of Miami Heat superstar LeBron James, will avoid more serious punishment after striking a plea deal in a public intoxication case. James was arrested last April after slapping a valet outside of the Fontainebleau resort on Miami Beach.

Delonte West Finally Clarifies He Didn't Sleep with LeBron's Mom

​Perhaps no sports gossip in recent memory has persisted as long and as strong as the rumor that LeBron James' mom Gloria had an affair with her son's former Cleveland Cavaliers teammate Delonte West. In part, the rumors stuck around so long because no one involved was exactly denying it, but now ... More >>

Heat Beat Knicks and Jeremy Lin, Render Linsanity Utterly Linpotent

​For the past month or so, we've all had Jeremy Lin spewed on our faces, whether we wanted it or not. Turn on your TV: LIN! Tune into your favorite radio station: LIN! Log on to twitter: LIN! The Republican debates: LIN! Jump in the shower: LIN! Your morning cereal toy prize: LIN!And then Lin and ... More >>

LeBron James Likes Appletinis, And Other Revelations From a Cleveland Waitress

The world already knows that LeBron James is a shitty tipper, thanks to the investigative sleuths of the Cleveland Scene. A few years ago, that alt-weekly newspaper exposed that The King left a ten dollar gratuity on an $800 steakhouse bill for himself and teammates. Now the Scene has published th ... More >>

LeBron James Won't Rule Out a Return to Cleveland Cavs

​Well, this certainly doesn't disprove that weird rumor that popped up last month that LeBron James wasn't always on the same page with Heat Prez Pat Riley and was planning an eventual return to the Cleveland Cavaliers. James has now said he could see himself one day playing in Cleveland once agai ... More >>

LeBron James Immortalized in Giant Foam Sculpture, Dwyane Wade is Next

​The Miami Heat's "Big Three" just got even bigger. A Miami Beach entrepreneur has taken it upon himself to build 18-foot foam sculptures out of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh -- complete with tattoos and "I'm-about-to-dunk-in-your-face" expressions. A monstrous LeBron is already comple ... More >>

LeBron James to Heckler: "I'd Kick Your Ass Right Now"

​Don't be talking about LeBron James' mama unless you want to find yourself on the end of a physical threat from the 6'8" superstar. According to an NBC Sports journalist's Twitter, James apparently got into a bit of verbal smack down with a fan heckling him at Friday's game against the Washington ... More >>

Heat Lose to Magic in a Barrage of Threes

​Opponents have been raining three pointers down on the Miami Heat all season long, and last night the Orlando Magic decided that was a good idea too, and hit 4,000 17 three pointers, taking the 102-89 win over Miami.Dwight Howard, who has apparently checked out and doesn't give a shit about baske ... More >>

Heat Beats Cavs, Kendrick Perkins is Mad at LeBron

​Dwyane Wade led the way with 26 points, while LeBron James added 24 as the Miami Heat took down the Cleveland Cavaliers 107-91 last night.The Heat will now embark on a five-road-games-in-seven-nights-palooza beginning in Orlando tonight and ending when all the players die from severe fatigue.But ... More >>

LeBron James Now Only America's Sixth Most Hated Athlete!

​Good news for LeBron James! He's now only the sixth most hated professional athlete in America! That's down from second place on Forbes.com's list last year. Hell, as we've previously noted, he's no longer the most hated player in the NBA. That title now belongs to that guy who had exclusive acce ... More >>

LeBron James' Top Five Favorite Dunks of All Time (Video)

​We might have been a bit hyperbolic in calling LeBron James' crazy over-the-head-of-an-opponent drunk the "most awesome dunk ever." Sure, it was awesome, but it's not even LeBron James' favorite dunk of his career. He told ESPN's Brian Windhorst his favorite five dunks. Here's video of each.

LeBron James Makes Most Awesome Dunk Ever After Biking to Work

​We're not going to say that bicyclists are better than everyone. We're just going to tell you that LeBron James rode his bicycle to work yesterday and then made one of the most awesome slam dunks in NBA history by literally jumping over an opponent. We're going to let you make up you own mind ove ... More >>

Heat Survive Lowly Pistons With Clutchy Free Throws

​Everybody likes to talk about how LeBron James can't get it done in the fourth quarter, that he isn't clutch, that he's a righteous ass-wrecking machine for the first three quarters of games but then inexplicably turns into a little old Chinese woman in the fourth quarter, costing his team games. ... More >>

LeBron James Hates Pat Riley and Wants to Go Back to Cleveland, According to Some Columnist

​So, apparently LeBron James isn't exactly a big fan of Miami Heat prez Pat Riley's management style. And unless Riley heads into retirement soon, James is supposedly thinking about packing up and taking his talents back to Cleveland. That's according to FoxSportsOhio.com columnist Sam Amico, ... More >>

LeBron James Steamrolled Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Last Night (Video)

LeBron picks Loria up off the ground, after the bodyslam.​The best part of last night's game wasn't that LeBron James dropped 31 points, or that the Heat crushed Kobe's Lakers without Dwyane Wade. Honestly, the best part wasn't even when LeBron James absolutely pancaked Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey ... More >>

LeBron James Ain't Care: Battling the Flu, LBJ Dominates Lakers

​LeBron James told the flu to go fuck itself, and then promptly became a righteous wrecker of ass, as he led the Miami Heat to their 98-87 beatdown of the L.A. Lakers last night. James, who dropped 31 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists, killed a baseball team owner, and made Kobe Bryant his own ... More >>

The King Takes on the Jester

LeBron Goes Off, Heat Win, All is Well

It took three games and a half of shitty basketball, but the Miami Heat finally got their mojo working in the second half of last night's game, and eventually blew away the visiting San Antonio Spurs 120-98.With a hobbled Dwyane Wade unable to play on his birthday, it was up to LeBron James and Chri ... More >>

NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Win Championship, LeBron Has Good Shot at MVP

​It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, NBA.com surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>

Heat Miss Roughly A Billion Free Throws, Lose Battle of Lob Cities

​In a game that was billed as Lob City East vs. Lob City West, the Heat lost mostly thanks to their inability to hit free throws, as well as some pretty shitty officiating, giving them their second overtime loss in two nights as they fell to the LA Clippers 95-89. It was also the second straight n ... More >>

Heat Blow 17-Point Lead, Lose to Warriors, Let's Everybody Overreact!

​While you were sleeping last night, the Miami Heat offense also fell asleep in the fourth quarter of their 111-106 overtime loss to the Golden State Warriors.It was a game of turnovers, sloppy play, Mario Chalmers dribbling basketballs off his foot, Udonis Haslem missing dunks, LeBron James ... More >>

LeBron James Ain't Care: Behind LBJ's 33, Heat Dismantles Pacers

​LeBron James overcame not having Dwyane Wade by his side, as well as a badly rolled ankle, and dropped 33 points in the Heat's 118-83 jack up of the Indiana Pacers last night.LBJ also added 13 assists and was two rebounds shy of recording a triple-double on the night. Chris Bosh added 22 points w ... More >>

LeBron James Proposes to Girlfriend Before Lauryn Hill's South Beach New Year's Eve Bash

Photo by Seth Browarnik/WorldRedEye.comMs. Lauryn Hill and Nas serenading the James.​After two kids, a decade-long courtship, and zero NBA championships, LeBron James has finally asked high-school sweetheart Savannah Brinson for her hand in marriage. Having turned 27 years old approximately 24 ho ... More >>

LeBron James Finally Admits "The Decision" TV Show May Have Been a Mistake

​LeBron James has finally admitted the obvious: announcing his decision to play for the Miami Heat on an over-hyped ESPN special was a public relations nightmare. Obviously, for Heat fans the show was a monumental feel-good moment, but it only served to fuel the hatred and intense scrutiny on ... More >>

LeBron James Admires Liverpool FC for Its Fans and Trophies: Everything Miami is Missing

​As the NBA lockout drags on, fears grow that local stars like Dwayne Wade and LeBron James will spend the next nine months playing overseas or, even worse, on weird tours through the Midwest. LeBron has even hinted that he might swap the hardcourt for the gridiron.But will he go the full Monty an ... More >>

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade Embark on "Homecoming Tour"

​The Heat's LeBron James and Dwyane Wade are about to embark on a "homecoming tour" of charity games with several other NBA stars. Unfortunately for us, "homecoming" does not mean another charity game in Florida. Instead, the four-city tour will include James's and Wade's actual hometowns of Akron ... More >>