What an incredible roller-coaster ride the Miami Heat took us on this season, filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, and in the end, utter satisfaction. It's rare that a sequel out-awesomes the original, but the 2013 Miami Heat season did just that. It was The Dark Knight of NBA seasons for Mi ... More >>
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd STILL NBA Champions of the Woooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrlddddddddd. Your Miami Heat are once again on top of the basketball world, beating San Antonio in Game 7 of the NBA Finals 95-88. LeBron James takes home his second straight Finals MVP award, capping off the serie ... More >>
LeBron James' phone number has leaked on the internet, and this morning he woke up to a bunch of random voicemails from people named Drake, Warren Buffet, Dr. Dre, and Coach K. Or at least that's the conceit of his latest Nike ad.
The past 24 hours have been a mierda monsoon for Miami Heat fans. Forty-nine states are rooting against our boys. Meanwhile, the national media love to portray us as a bunch of rich pingas in Porsches. Even Chris Bosh (rightly) tore into those weak-ass Lil Wayne-like fans who left Game 6 early. But ... More >>
Yup. LeBron James and Ray Allen got it done. Now it's on to Thursday. Chris Bosh also looked pretty damn awesome. Rebounds, blocks. Heat hasn't won two consecutive games in a dog's age. About time. Go Heat!
See you Thursday night. With less than three seconds left and the Heat down three, the ball found Ray Allen in the corner, and he buried it, sending the game into overtime and sending fans' hearts into their esophaguses. Miami went on to win in overtime 103-100 in what might be the greatest game in ... More >>
Despite the fact the Miami Heat are a hope, a prayer and two games away from their second championship of the LeBron James era, new pics of LeBron's next Nike sneaks supposedly leaked on the Internet today. The shoes refer to him as a "two-time champion."
Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined for 65 points last night and Chris Bosh scored 20 to lead the Miami Heat to a critical series-equalizing, 109-93 Game Four win. Phewww! The win guarantees the series will end in Miami, as the Heat takes back the home-court advantage it earned with a franchise-re ... More >>
Tiago Splitter rose up full-throttle, mean-mugged and toting bad intentions and a handful of basketball, and just then, LeBron James screamed, "You DO NOT collect $200, and you DO NOT PASS TIA-GO!" The play was key in a 30-5 run that made you slap yo mama and helped the Miami Heat even the NBA Final ... More >>
Tony Parker flailed, fell, right hand yellow, left leg red, got back up and hit a shot with 5.2 seconds left to seal a Game One, 92-88 San Antonio Spurs win. Parker was a menace all game long for Miami, finishing with 21 points and 6 assists. Tim Duncan merp derp'd his way to 20 points and 14 reboun ... More >>
We have reached the season three finale of Miami Heat Against the World, the greatest show in television history. Just when you think the show has peaked and might get canceled, it gets renewed for another four episodes. In its third consecutive finals appearance, the Heat now takes on the San Ant ... More >>
LeBron James may have left salary money on the table when he decided to sign with the Miami Heat, but his back account ain't aching too much. According to the latest Forbes calculations of the world's most well-paid athletes, James came in fourth.
Faced with a second half deficit and a seemingly inevitable Game Five loss, LeBron James took it upon himself to break the emergency glass surrounding his unstoppableness and unleash it upon the Indiana Pacers. There were no reported survivors. LeBron came out of the halftime locker room ready to ma ... More >>
With LeBron, Wade, and Bosh on the court tonight, it can be said Miami residents are in Heat. Fortunately, Moët realized that our pleasurable predicament would be a perfect opportunity for a beverage product tie-in and stepped up to the challenge. Thus, Moët Ice Imperial was born. It is now the o ... More >>
Sunday's news should have been glorious for LeBron James. Not only did he win the MVP award, but also he became the youngest player to rack up a fourth most-valuable honor. Instead, everyone focused on what LeBron didn't do: namely, nab the first unanimous MVP. The numbers released yesterday showed ... More >>
Was there really any doubt? ESPN reports that league sources confirm Miami Heat superstar LeBron James will officially be awarded his fourth MVP title this Sunday. It's the King's second MVP crown in a row, and his fourth in five years.
The Heat survived an off night from LeBron and a sluggish first half to beat the Milwaukee Bucks 98-86 Tuesday night, taking a 2-0 lead in this best of seven first round matchup. Dwyane Wade led all Heat scorers with 21 points, and looked like the 2006 version of himself at times, slashing and drivi ... More >>
Don't expect @KingJames to be updated any time soon, and on the off chance you happen to have LeBron James cell phone number, don't expect him to text back. It's not personal. It's just a part of his game.In order to fully concentrate on the playoffs, James has gone off the grid.
Your social media feeds have probably been soaked full of complaints about the monsoons that decided to hit Miami today and on Saturday. LeBron James was no different. He Instagrammed pictures of flooding around his neighborhood, and the National Weather Service took note. They issued an official al ... More >>
Heat fans tuning in for a possible Eastern Conference Finals preview Tuesday night were instead treated to another helping of the Miami Heat "B-Team" with an extra-large side of Carmelo Anthony ass. Anthony sizzled all night long, finishing with a career-high-tying 50 points as the New York Knicks p ... More >>
Backups? We ain't got no stinkin' backups! San Antonio seems like a good place to take a nap, and indeed rest is what the Miami Heat did while visiting the city on Sunday, sitting LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Mario Chalmers with various minor injuries. Throwing out a starting lineup of Mike Miller, ... More >>
Just when you think the Miami Heat can't possibly take your emotions to a higher place than they have already been this season, an ordinary Wednesday night in Cleveland happens -- and the streak pushes on.Down 27 with seven minutes to play in the third quarter, the Heat decided to turn its own perso ... More >>
LeBron James is about to make it official. Savannah Brinson, James' longtime partner and baby mama, will officially become Mrs. James this September. According to TMZ, the two have sent out save-the-date cards for their planned wedding in San Diego.
It was a cold November afternoon in 2006. "The Greatest Motion Picture of All Time," Tenacious D's The Pick of Destiny, had just been released and moviegoers were pouring into multiplexes across the country. But only a handful of stoners showed up, and actually paid for, The D. The film was a com ... More >>
Chicago might be best known for its deep-dish pizza, but Thursday night in Miami, it was their turnovers that the Heat found delicious. Mmmmmm! Capitalizing on 27 Chicago mistakes, Miami was able to breeze to a 86-67 victory over the Bulls for its ninth straight win.Hollywood as hell, bro.
It turns out LeBron James is nothing like a box of chocolates, because you always know what you're gonna get: no caramel, no coconut, just COBRADICK. LeBron James topped 30 points for the seventh consecutive game (all Heat wins) Thursday night, leading the Heat to a 110-100 win over the Oklahom ... More >>
It all started with Michael Jordan claiming yesterday that Kobe Bryant was a better player than LeBron James simply because he had more rings.James at first shook it off, but clearly he's been thinking it over enough to realize that by Michael Jordan's own logic, Michael Jordan would only be tied as ... More >>
Down 102-101 with four minutes left, with danger knocking at the door of the Heat's five-game winning streak, the Miami Heat collectively reminded everyone -- they are the ones that knock. Miami bested the Blazers 117-104 Tuesday night, once again led by LeBron James and his 30 points, six rebounds, ... More >>
Facing a high scoring Houston Rockets team without Chris Bosh, the Miami Heat found themselves thrust into a good old fashioned cock fight. Unfortunately for the Rockets, even without Bosh - the Heat bring two Big Swinging Dicks to the scrum. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 63 po ... More >>
The Miami Heat travel to Brooklyn tonight for the first time in franchise's history, and apparently Nets players are hoping to amp up the rivalry. Nets forward Reggie Evans is even going as far as to suggest that the Heat's 2012 title wasn't legitimate because of the lock-out shortened regular seaso ... More >>
LeBron James isn't intimidated by much. The Heat's championship run last season was a testament to that. Though, when the team traveled to the White House today to be honored by President Obama, James seemed pretty starstruck and amazed he was actually being honored at the White House.
Love him or hate him, LeBron James is a serious triple-threat. The Most Valuable Player in the NBA is a champion on the court, a salacious dancer and comes complete with an adorable sense of humor. He's not too macho to get down and dirty to a little Michael Jackson, and we've got video evidence. J ... More >>
Is LeBron James planning on packing up those talents and sending them first class back home to Cleveland? Rumors are swirling that the Cleveland Cavaliers are eager to target their old star in 2014 when James has the option to be a free agent again, On ESPN this morning, Chris Broussard said he woul ... More >>
So remember when Gloria James, LeBron James' mother, had herself a hell of a time at the LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau in April 2011, stumbled out and after waiting over 30 minutes for a valet to get her car, she got so upset she slapped the guy? Well, the legal fight surrounding that incident ... More >>
What the what? LeBron James, perhaps the most recognizable athlete on the planet, won his first NBA championship after two years of non-stop media and public scrutiny. But, America didn't think it was that big of a deal. According to a new Marist poll of sports fans, the Heat's win was only the four ... More >>
Riptide used to live four blocks from the office and still sometimes drove to work just to sit in front of a computer. LeBron James lives in Coconut Grove and bikes to the American Airlines Arena for most home games, and then plays 40-plus minutes of high intensity basketball. Riptide feels like an ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke looks back on the year the Apocalypse didn't happen.The world won't end in 2012. Why? Because LeBron James still has more NBA cha ... More >>
LeBron James is so #ballswag on the court, he can pop a molly and sweat it out like his first name was Trinidad. In fact, Trinidad James and King James have a lot in common. The rapper gives it up to them "hipster bitches." The basketballer rides the Miami critical mass. They've both expressed at l ... More >>
Is LeBron James' image rehabilitation complete? After claiming the MVP award and his first ring last season, the King is back atop the NBA's list of best-selling jerseys. The list is released twice a year, and James hasn't been on top since April 2011. In fact, he had dropped to fifth in the list re ... More >>
Your WORLD CHAMPION Miami Heat took on the newly-relocated Brooklyn Nets last night and proceeded to obliterate those Brooklyn/New Jersey/Whatever fools 103-73, proving that even if you move from a shitty state to a less shitty city borough, it doesn't change the fact that your squad is infinitely i ... More >>
Aqui lo que importa es el CASH! Oh my, that is pretty. Isn't that pretty, Celtics/Knicks/Lakers fans? Look at that beautiful thing. How fuckin' glorious.Your Miami Heat received these lovely, diamond-encrusted CHAMPIONSHIP rings last night just before their 120-107 dismantling of last year's Eastern ... More >>
With the kickoff of the NBA season tonight, LeBron James finally will be presented with his long-awaited championship ring. He'll also be dressed to match with a special gold edition of his signature Nike sneakers.
Last year, the NBA's general managers picked the Miami Heat to beat the Oklahoma City Thunder for the championship in their annual preseason poll. These guys know their stuff, obviously.This year they're predicting the Miami Heat versus Los Angeles Lakers finals the world has been patiently waiting ... More >>
LeBron James is only guaranteed to be a member of the Miami Heat for the next two seasons -- after that, he's got two year of player option left on his contract. So, of course today brought us a dramatic ESPN report that the Los Angeles Lakers are getting ready to lure James to Tinseltown in 2014 to ... More >>
LeBron James is joining the ranks of Wolverine, Captain America and Spider-Man. He's getting his own Marvel comic book. The publishing company has teamed up with (new Disney corporate cousin) ESPN to produce a special one-off issue of a LeBron comic that will be inserted into the next issue of the E ... More >>