LeBron James

Meet the One Jerk Who Didn't Vote LeBron for MVP (No, It Wasn't Dan Le Batard)

Sunday's news should have been glorious for LeBron James. Not only did he win the MVP award, but also he became the youngest player to rack up a fourth most-valuable honor. Instead, everyone focused on what LeBron didn't do: namely, nab the first unanimous MVP. The numbers released yesterday showed ... More >>

LeBron James Will Win Fourth MVP

Was there really any doubt? ESPN reports that league sources confirm Miami Heat superstar LeBron James will officially be awarded his fourth MVP title this Sunday. It's the King's second MVP crown in a row, and his fourth in five years.

Heat Survive Off Night From LeBron, Take Game Two From Bucks 98-86

The Heat survived an off night from LeBron and a sluggish first half to beat the Milwaukee Bucks 98-86 Tuesday night, taking a 2-0 lead in this best of seven first round matchup. Dwyane Wade led all Heat scorers with 21 points, and looked like the 2006 version of himself at times, slashing and drivi ... More >>

LeBron James Is Taking a Break from Twitter and Cell Phones During the Playoffs

Don't expect @KingJames to be updated any time soon, and on the off chance you happen to have LeBron James cell phone number, don't expect him to text back. It's not personal. It's just a part of his game.In order to fully concentrate on the playoffs, James has gone off the grid.

LeBron James' Instagram Triggers A National Weather Service Alert

Your social media feeds have probably been soaked full of complaints about the monsoons that decided to hit Miami today and on Saturday. LeBron James was no different. He Instagrammed pictures of flooding around his neighborhood, and the National Weather Service took note. They issued an official al ... More >>

Melo Drops 50 as Knicks Beat Depleted Heat 102-90

Heat fans tuning in for a possible Eastern Conference Finals preview Tuesday night were instead treated to another helping of the Miami Heat "B-Team" with an extra-large side of Carmelo Anthony ass. Anthony sizzled all night long, finishing with a career-high-tying 50 points as the New York Knicks p ... More >>

Bosh Hits Game Winner To Beat Spurs 88-86 in Game Without James and Wade

Backups? We ain't got no stinkin' backups! San Antonio seems like a good place to take a nap, and indeed rest is what the Miami Heat did while visiting the city on Sunday, sitting LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Mario Chalmers with various minor injuries. Throwing out a starting lineup of Mike Miller, ... More >>

Heat Comes Back From 27 Points Down, Rally to Beat Cavs for 24th Straight Win

Just when you think the Miami Heat can't possibly take your emotions to a higher place than they have already been this season, an ordinary Wednesday night in Cleveland happens -- and the streak pushes on.Down 27 with seven minutes to play in the third quarter, the Heat decided to turn its own perso ... More >>

LeBron James Finally Getting Married in San Diego in September

LeBron James is about to make it official. Savannah Brinson, James' longtime partner and baby mama, will officially become Mrs. James this September. According to TMZ, the two have sent out save-the-date cards for their planned wedding in San Diego.

Making History

Tenacious D's Jack Black and Kyle Gass Talk Miami Heat, Grammy Snub, and Skrillex

It was a cold November afternoon in 2006. "The Greatest Motion Picture of All Time," Tenacious D's The Pick of Destiny, had just been released and moviegoers were pouring into multiplexes across the country. But only a handful of stoners showed up, and actually paid for, The D. The film was a com ... More >>

Heat Wins Ninth Straight, Spanks Bulls 86-67

Chicago might be best known for its deep-dish pizza, but Thursday night in Miami, it was their turnovers that the Heat found delicious. Mmmmmm! Capitalizing on 27 Chicago mistakes, Miami was able to breeze to a 86-67 victory over the Bulls for its ninth straight win.Hollywood as hell, bro.

February Spanking

Heat Win Seventh Straight Game, Dominate Thunder 110-100

It turns out LeBron James is nothing like a box of chocolates, because you always know what you're gonna get: no caramel, no coconut, just COBRADICK. LeBron James topped 30 points for the seventh consecutive game (all Heat wins) Thursday night, leading the Heat to a 110-100 win over the Oklahom ... More >>

LeBron James Points Out That According to Michael Jordan's Logic, MJ Is Not The Best Basketball Player Ever

It all started with Michael Jordan claiming yesterday that Kobe Bryant was a better player than LeBron James simply because he had more rings.James at first shook it off, but clearly he's been thinking it over enough to realize that by Michael Jordan's own logic, Michael Jordan would only be tied as ... More >>

Heat Pull Away With Late Run, Win Sixth Straight 117-104 Over Blazers

Down 102-101 with four minutes left, with danger knocking at the door of the Heat's five-game winning streak, the Miami Heat collectively reminded everyone -- they are the ones that knock. Miami bested the Blazers 117-104 Tuesday night, once again led by LeBron James and his 30 points, six rebounds, ... More >>

Heat Hold Off Rockets 114-108 Thanks To 63 Points From James, Wade

Facing a high scoring Houston Rockets team without Chris Bosh, the Miami Heat found themselves thrust into a good old fashioned cock fight. Unfortunately for the Rockets, even without Bosh - the Heat bring two Big Swinging Dicks to the scrum. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 63 po ... More >>

Nets Player Says Heat Didn't Win "Real" Title; LeBron's Response: "Who?"

The Miami Heat travel to Brooklyn tonight for the first time in franchise's history, and apparently Nets players are hoping to amp up the rivalry. Nets forward Reggie Evans is even going as far as to suggest that the Heat's 2012 title wasn't legitimate because of the lock-out shortened regular seaso ... More >>

Watch LeBron James Get Really Nervous Around President Obama

LeBron James isn't intimidated by much. The Heat's championship run last season was a testament to that. Though, when the team traveled to the White House today to be honored by President Obama, James seemed pretty starstruck and amazed he was actually being honored at the White House.

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade Sing Cute 'n' Crappy Michael Jackson Karaoke!

Love him or hate him, LeBron James is a serious triple-threat. The Most Valuable Player in the NBA is a champion on the court, a salacious dancer and comes complete with an adorable sense of humor. He's not too macho to get down and dirty to a little Michael Jackson, and we've got video evidence. J ... More >>

LeBron James Heading Back to Cleveland in 2014, According to Latest Rumors

Is LeBron James planning on packing up those talents and sending them first class back home to Cleveland? Rumors are swirling that the Cleveland Cavaliers are eager to target their old star in 2014 when James has the option to be a free agent again, On ESPN this morning, Chris Broussard said he woul ... More >>

Gloria James, LeBron's Mom, Settles Lawsuit With Fontainebleau Valet

So remember when Gloria James, LeBron James' mother, had herself a hell of a time at the LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau in April 2011, stumbled out and after waiting over 30 minutes for a valet to get her car, she got so upset she slapped the guy? Well, the legal fight surrounding that incident ... More >>

Poll: Sports Fans Felt Miami Heat's Win Was Only Fourth Best Championship This Year

What the what? LeBron James, perhaps the most recognizable athlete on the planet, won his first NBA championship after two years of non-stop media and public scrutiny. But, America didn't think it was that big of a deal. According to a new Marist poll of sports fans, the Heat's win was only the four ... More >>

Barack, LeBron, and Trayvon: That Was 2012

LeBron James Bikes to Most Home Games

Riptide used to live four blocks from the office and still sometimes drove to work just to sit in front of a computer. LeBron James lives in Coconut Grove and bikes to the American Airlines Arena for most home games, and then plays 40-plus minutes of high intensity basketball. Riptide feels like an ... More >>

Barack Obama, LeBron James, and Trayvon Martin Gave Us Two Wins and a Travesty

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke looks back on the year the Apocalypse didn't happen.The world won't end in 2012. Why? Because LeBron James still has more NBA cha ... More >>

LeBron Raps, Popping Million Mollies in Five Minutes: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

LeBron James is so #ballswag on the court, he can pop a molly and sweat it out like his first name was Trinidad. In fact, Trinidad James and King James have a lot in common. The rapper gives it up to them "hipster bitches." The basketballer rides the Miami critical mass. They've both expressed at l ... More >>

Cure Your Art Hangover

LeBron James Tops NBA's Best Selling Jersey List Once Again

Is LeBron James' image rehabilitation complete? After claiming the MVP award and his first ring last season, the King is back atop the NBA's list of best-selling jerseys. The list is released twice a year, and James hasn't been on top since April 2011. In fact, he had dropped to fifth in the list re ... More >>

Sticking it to Dan

Heat Throttle Nets 103-73, Don't Care "Where Brooklyn At?"

Your WORLD CHAMPION Miami Heat took on the newly-relocated Brooklyn Nets last night and proceeded to obliterate those Brooklyn/New Jersey/Whatever fools 103-73, proving that even if you move from a shitty state to a less shitty city borough, it doesn't change the fact that your squad is infinitely i ... More >>

Heat Beat Celtics 120-107 in Season Opener, Receive Championship Rings

Aqui lo que importa es el CASH! Oh my, that is pretty. Isn't that pretty, Celtics/Knicks/Lakers fans? Look at that beautiful thing. How fuckin' glorious.Your Miami Heat received these lovely, diamond-encrusted CHAMPIONSHIP rings last night just before their 120-107 dismantling of last year's Eastern ... More >>

LeBron James Will Be Wearing Gold Shoes to Match His Gold Ring Tonight

With the kickoff of the NBA season tonight, LeBron James finally will be presented with his long-awaited championship ring. He'll also be dressed to match with a special gold edition of his signature Nike sneakers.

NBA GMs Predict Heat to Beat Lakers in Finals

Last year, the NBA's general managers picked the Miami Heat to beat the Oklahoma City Thunder for the championship in their annual preseason poll. These guys know their stuff, obviously.This year they're predicting the Miami Heat versus Los Angeles Lakers finals the world has been patiently waiting ... More >>

The Lakers Would Like LeBron James to Play For Them in 2014, According to ESPN Fan Fiction Report

LeBron James is only guaranteed to be a member of the Miami Heat for the next two seasons -- after that, he's got two year of player option left on his contract. So, of course today brought us a dramatic ESPN report that the Los Angeles Lakers are getting ready to lure James to Tinseltown in 2014 to ... More >>

LeBron James is Getting His Own Marvel Comic Book

LeBron James is joining the ranks of Wolverine, Captain America and Spider-Man. He's getting his own Marvel comic book. The publishing company has teamed up with (new Disney corporate cousin) ESPN to produce a special one-off issue of a LeBron comic that will be inserted into the next issue of the E ... More >>

"LeBron James" Heroin Being Sold in Philadelphia

You'd think Philadelphia would use a basketball superstar from their own team to try and push that brown crystal, but you have to remember that Philadelphia's basketball team is the 76ers and they don't have much in the way of star power right now. So, apparently heroin dealers in the City of B ... More >>

LeBron James Wants to Star in Space Jam 2

With his icon status its easy to forget that LeBron James was just a child in the '90s, and like all millennials he recognize 1996 film Space Jam as the true cinematic masterpiece that it is. So obviously King James would love nothing better than to star in Space Jam 2, which really, the world deser ... More >>

The LeBron X Will Sell For $315: Nike's Most Expensive Sneaker Ever

LeBron James' latest sneaker line will go where no Nike sneaker has ever gone before: above the $300 price point.James debuted his new kicks in the Olympic's gold medal game, and now Nike has announced they can soon be yours for $315. For comparison, the LeBron 9s sold for only $170.

LeBron James Was Offered a Notre Dame Football Scholarship by Urban Meyer

This is awkward information for fans of both the Miami Heat and the Miami Hurricanes.Turns out Urban Meyer, now head coach of Ohio State and formerly the head coach of the Florida Gators and wide receivers coach at Notre Dame, once offered LeBron James a scholarship to play football for the Fighting ... More >>

Three Loco at LIV Nightclub July 18

Miami Heat Celebrate NBA Championship at LIV, Pop $75,000 Bottles of Champagne, "Party Rock" with LMFAO (Videos)

For the Miami Heat, failure was not an option last night. And not because taking the title would've proved that much more difficult in Oklahoma City, but because the post-victory celebration would've likely gone down at an Applebee's and ended at midnight. Instead, the Heat closed the series out ... More >>

LeBron James Finally Beloved by National Sports Media Once Again

Riptide has had ESPN on and off of mute all morning. The TV listings say it's just regular ol' SportsCenter, but as far as we can tell "The LeBron James Blow Job Marathon" would be just as apt a title. In fact, the TV talking heads, newspaper writers and bloggers have finally completed a total about ... More >>

ESPN Viral Video Tells LeBron Haters to STFU

Everyone north of the Suwannee River has been hating on LeBron James and the Miami Heat since the former Cleveland Cavaliers star decided to "take [his] talents to South Beach." But last night, we shut those haters down. And to commemorate this awesome moment of b-ball glory, ESPN has made an equa ... More >>

29 Ways for Miami to Celebrate If the Heat Clinch the Title Tonight

If the Heat wins tonight, it will be a citywide fist punch to the fart box of all the haters around the world. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook can go back to wearing their lensless glasses in the obscurity of Oklahoma City. And Charles Barkley can quietly choke on his stupid diet meals.Miami can' ... More >>

Charles Barkley Says Miami Heat Don't Have Real Fans, Is Easily Proven Wrong by Math

Looks like its time to bring back the "Fuck you, Chuck" chants. While predicting that the Miami Heat will win tonight, and laying praise on LeBron James, professional loudmouth Charles Barkley took a swipe at Miami fans this morning on a D.C. sports radio show by claiming that the Heat don't ha ... More >>

Ohio Senate Candidate Attacked By Ads Comparing Him To LeBron James

Most political action committees use tried-and-true tactics to rip on candidates: call them a liar, accuse them of spending too much/too little, et cetera. In Ohio, though, they simply bring forth the terrifying, hated specter of LeBron James to do the work for them.That's the plan for Workers' ... More >>

Heat Are Eastern Conference Champions, Will Face Oklahoma City in NBA Finals

After blowing up the Boston Celtics Big Three Era (for the second straight season) in last night's 101-88 Game 7 triumph, the Miami Heat are headed to their second-straight NBA Finals. The Big Three known as LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh scored Miami's final 31 points, including all ... More >>

LeBron James' 45 Points Lead Heat Over Celtics, Force Game 7

Brilliant.Extraordinary.Artist.Devastator.Maestro.Cobradick.

If The Heat Lose Tonight, Who Might Not Be Wearing a Miami Jersey Next Year?

This is a silly, stupid little post to be writing. The Heat will of course stage a magnificent comeback tonight and go on to emerge victorious in the finals, because whatever powers that rule the universe will decide to give Miami, this muggy land of hurricanes, poverty, foreclosures and zombie atta ... More >>