The Miami Marlins first season in their taxpayer-funded Little Havana palacio has been nothing short of a catastrophe; the team was out of contention by August and so boring and terrible that the Franchise -- the Showtime series chronicling the club's season -- ended early after star Hanley Ramirez ... More >>
Three episodes into The Franchise, shit is already getting all kinds of depressing. After two episodes of ups and downs and HEY LOOK AT OUR NEW STADIUM! wackiness, the Marlins are in a tail spin, out of the playoff hunt, reverting to a closer by committee to cover up Heath Bell's dookie-filled- ... More >>
There was a time in May, when the Heat were on their way to a championship, the Panthers had won their first ever division title, and the Marlins completed the best record that month in MLB, when we had a glimmer of hope (albeit somewhat tempered by the Dolphins) that this may be the first year sinc ... More >>
It's fitting that the same day big trade rumors involving Heath Bell and Hanley Ramirez surface, episode two of The Franchise is pretty much framed around a trade deadline discussion roundtable with Jeffery Loria, Larry Beinfest and their DERP lackeys (or maybe the Marlins PLANTED those rumors as a ... More >>
The first episode of The Franchise: Miami Marlins featured a shitload of F-bombs and was narrated by Don Draper, officially making The Franchise the greatest thing on TV ever.The first episode covered Ozzie Guillen's Fidel Castro comments, the team's blowing shit up in May, and their shit-the-b ... More >>
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>
Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>
The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night's loss to the Giants because his batting average has dipped below .250 -- an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped gho ... More >>
MLB.comMike Cameron: old.Sun Life Stadium should expect a visit from the Herald any day now: the ballpark has officially become an assisted living facility.The Marlins took another shaky, walker-assisted step towards an All Star break nap by acquiring 38-year-old outfielder Mike Cameron on Tuesda ... More >>
The dozen or so people who can make a serious claim to being true Florida Marlins fans are stoked that his may be the year for the Florida Marlins! The year the team finally loses a playoff series! The Fish currently have a .574 record. That's the fourth best in the entire MLB, and the team looks ... More >>
Where will he suck next?
For a few years, I've harbored a strange obsession with Major League journeyman reliever Jorge Julio.
Not because he's very good, mind you. In fact, the current Milwaukee Brewer is one of the most consistently awful players to make a big-league roster every year. His ... More >>