Lamar Miller

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2014

    Dolphins Crush Bills After Their Cornerback Promised: "We're Going To Beat That A$#"

    S---, we're going to go out and beat that ass. Point blank. Period," - Bills cornerback Leodis McKelvin on what would happen when the Bills played the Dolphins. Final score at Sun Life last night: Dolphins 22, Bills 9. More like LOLdis McKelvin, right? RIGHT?!

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2014

    World's Greatest Pigeon Refused to Leave the Field During Dolphins Game

    The Miami Dolphins beat the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-13 on Sunday, but it was a pigeon that trended worldwide on Twitter. Wait, what? Yup a pigeon. A pigeon that by the end of the game had it's own Twitter account. What a world. During the second half of the game a pigeon flew his happy ass down on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2014

    Ryan Tannehill's "F-You" Game Totally Demolished the Raiders in London

    Ryan Tannehill has one question for the haters: How does his pass taste? Fancy yourself a second helping, do you? Following an awkward week that felt like the worst dating show ever titled Joe Philbin Plays Hard To Get , Ryan Tannehill proceeded to rip the long-stemmed-rose out of his coaches hand ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2014

    Dolphins Were So Bad Against Chiefs That Fins Fans Attacked One Another in the Stands

    Sunday's 34-15 loss to the injury-depleted and talent-deficient Kansas City Chiefs proved that once again the Miami Dolphins have it all wrong. It's painfully obvious, and Dolphins fans can't take it anymore. In fact, the game was so bad that Fins faithful began kicking one anothers' asses in the st ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2013

    Yes, the Dolphins Can Still Make the Playoffs on Sunday; Here's How

    Last week, the Dolphins pooped on the lechon of every fans hopes and dreams that the team would control their own destiny on the way to making the playoffs for the first time in five years. The Dolphins still have a decent chance of getting in with some help, but they absolutely have to beat the h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 20, 2013

    Dolphins at Bills: Lobster Trappin' in Buffalo Preview

    The Dolphins head up to Buffalo this Sunday to take on the Bills in what is essentially a must-win situation for the Dolphins if they hope to advance unimpeded into the playoffs. It's simple: the Dolphins whack the Bills and then the Jets next weekend and they're in the playoffs for the first time ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2013

    Patriots at Dolphins: Tom Brady Has Pretty Hair Preview

    The Dolphins ride into what is the most important game of the season on a 2-game winning streak, with a patchwork o-line working better than the one originally envision, a running game finally getting results and ascending play from young Ryan Tannehill. Last week was a statement game by this much- ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2013

    Dolphins Nail Steelers: "Ugh, so close." Playoff Hopes Still Alive.

    That picture shows how close the Miami Dolphins came to one of the most epic losses in the franchise's history. One-third of an Antonio Brown foot from being Auburn'd right in the butt. Instead, the Dolphins shook off about six demons with a gutsy win over the Pittsburgh Steelers in a snowy, back-a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2013

    Dolphins vs. Chargers: Louis CK Reacts To Five Things You Should Watch

    Prior to the Monday Night game against the winless Buccaneers, Dolphins players swore up and down all this drama for your mamma would bring them closer together, and propel them to a statement win in front of a National audience. Loyal Dolphins fans pointed their loyal Dolphins finger in your chest ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Sacks, Dropped Passes Result in Dolphins 26-23 Loss To Ravens

    The Dolphins lost to the Ravens 26-23 yesterday after kicker Justin Tucker put the Ravens ahead for good on a 44-yard field goal with 1:42 left to go. The Dolphins had a final chance to at least tie the game thanks to some crazy heroics by quarterback Ryan Tannehill to evade the punishing Ravens rus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2013

    Monday Night Football: Five Keys to Dolphins at Saints Tonight

    Your Miami Dolphins enter tonight's showdown between two 3-0 teams primed for an opportunity to show the world these are not the same old Dolphins limping into a primetime NFL matchup only to play like a paper bag full of shit. No, these Dolphins are coming into the Big Easy to win this fucker and b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Dolphins Beat Colts, Luck 24-20

    On the final drive of Sunday's victory over the Andrew Luck-led Colts, there was that creeping feeling the NFL's newest comeback kid would do the thing Dolphins fans are so used to seeing: snatch victory from the jaws of defeat by putting a big ol' dunce hat on the Dolphins and all their silly aspir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    Dolphins-Colts: Five Things To Watch For

    Unbelievably, the Dolphins won their season opener for the first time since 2007 last Sunday. EHRRR MERR GERRRSH! The defense was stout, Ryan Tannehill seemed to elevate his game (especially on 3\thirdrd downs), Mike Wallace was already being considered as trade bait for his belly-aching postgame an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2013

    Five Things To Watch: Miami Dolphins vs. Cleveland Browns

    Welcome to another Miami Dolphins season, kicking off this Sunday against the Cleveland Browns. Gone is the old logo and uniforms. Gone are many of last seasons players. Enter a lot of expectations for a franchise that has routinely disappointed it's fans over the past decade, or four. Sunday is a f ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 22, 2013
  • Blogs

    August 5, 2013

    Dolphins Fall to Cowboys 24-20 in Hall of Fame Game

    Welp. At least those uniforms really pop in HD!!! Coach Joe Philbin and company were supposed to go out and show the world that the New Look Dolphins were not just about a new logo that looks like a whale penis and some flashy clothes that would make a World Football League team jealous. Instead, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2013

    Five Questions for the Miami Dolphins as They Head to Training Camp

    Be honest with yourselves, Dolphins fans: After watching two straight ticker-tape parades down Biscayne Boulevard by that other pro team in town, it's gotten harder and harder to get jazzed up for preseason Fins games that basically amount to flag football contests. But this is 2013, and for the fir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Five Players the Dolphins Should Take in Tonight's NFL Draft (and How They'll Screw It Up)

    With the NFL's annual tradition of wealthy, white-haired men selecting young, able-bodied (mostly) black men to perform physical endeavors for comparatively negligible pay aimed at aggrandizing the wealthy men's financial station, we're taking a look at who the Dolphins SHOULD pick -- and how they'l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 12, 2013

    Sole on the Ocean and Alba Host Reggae Beach Bowl and Cookout

    Q. You have some prime beachfront property and some NFL greats as pals -- plus you're into reggae music. What do you do? A. You host a reggae beach bowl and invite everyone you know. That's what the Sole on the Ocean hotel and Ralph Pagano's Alba Seaside Italian restaurant is doing tomorrow, Apri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2013

    Reggie Bush Just "Confused" as He's Desperately Waiting for the Dolphins to Call

    Listen Reggie Bush, it's not you. It's the Miami Dolphins. To put things in seasonal perspective: you're basically like someone whose gone a few good dates with someone, and right now you're waiting for the other person to call and make those big time plans for Valentine's Day. The Dolphins are ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 29, 2013

    Reggie Bush Not Likely Returning to Dolphins

    Reggie Bush may have been one of the bigger names on the Dolphins squad for the past two years, and may have racked up two seasons close to 1,000 yards, but don't expect him to come back.Though Bush has stated he'd like to stay in Miami, it's looking more and more likely that the team won't go out o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 24, 2012

    Dolphins Rout Bills 24-10, Are Knocked Out of the Playoffs Anyway

    The Miami Dolphins trounced the Bills yesterday behind a 3 TD day from Reggie "LaMontelle Pussyhammer" Bush, a balls-up performance from Reshad Jones and an efficient day from Ryan Tannehill that saw the rookie join the 3,000-yard club for the season. However, a few hours later the Fins found out th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2012

    This Might Be Reggie Bush's Last Season with the Dolphins

    Reggie Bush's contract with the Miami Dolphins is up at the end of the season, and so far there's no indication that the team has any interest in resigning the running back. Bush himself is now openly doubting that he'll be back in aqua and coral next year.

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2012

    Dolphins Fall to Niners 27-13

    The Miami Dolphins have shown a knack all season for hanging with good teams only to vomit into their own pants when the game is on the line. It happened last week against the Patriots and it happened again yesterday against the 49ers as the Dolphins lost 27-13, despite being a field goal away from ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Titans

    After two weeks on the road, the Dolphins are back home to face a 3-6 Titans team that ranks near the bottom of the NFL standings on both offense and defense and is a team mired in uncertainty about its future. Will our passing defense display the tenacity of a canned wet fart once again or can we g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2012

    Fire Jeff Ireland Watch: A Jets-Sized Nail In the Coffin

    Last week, we introduced "Fire Jeff Ireland Watch," Riptide's newest feature, where our crack team of employment termination scientists gauge just how fireable the Dolphins loathed general manager is at the moment following his latest series of horrific blunders. This week, the Ginger Devil's a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2012

    Fire Jeff Ireland Watch: Let The Countdown Commence!

    Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland's mismanagement of the Fins -- comically whiffing on everything from prospective free agents to current players to young college kids whose mothers were probably not crack-smoking prostitutes -- has been well-documented. He's quite the controversial, talen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Obliterate the Oakland Raiders 35 - 13

    Facing a below-average Oakland Raiders yesterday, it was generally believed the Dolphins had a very good chance of beating their former AFC rival and notching the first victory for both Head Coach Joe Philbin and QB Ryan Tannehill. Then Reggie Bush came out of nowhere and decided to show everyone hi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Your Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Drinking Game: Drink the Pain Away

    Sure, things might come together for the Miami Dolphins this year. Ryan Tannehill could quickly develop into a stud. Our offense may surprise. Joe Philbin might reveal himself as a true coaching genius in his first season. The team might make the playoffs. You might win the lottery. The polar ice ca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 1, 2012

    Miami Hurricanes Take Care of Boston College 41-30 After Shaky Start

    For about eight minutes it seemed like the worst predictions about this year's young Hurricanes squad seemed like they were going to come true. Boston College racked up two TDs, while the Hurricanes could only muster a four and out. It was like we were watching the Dolphins, and we'll have enough of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2012

    Dolphins Fall to Cowboys 30-13 To End Preseason Winless, Then Crash The Team Plane

    In what is typically the most uninteresting and uneventful of all preseason games, the Dolphins conducted business-as-usual by falling to the Dallas Cowboys 30-13 last night, completing the 2012 preseason with only their third winless effort in franchise history.The Fins followed up in the most appr ... More >>

  • News

    June 14, 2012
  • Culture

    June 14, 2012
  • Blogs

    May 4, 2012

    Luther Campbell Alleges Drew Rosenhaus Paid Tommy Streeter $50,000 "Marketing Advance"

    Earlier today, Luther Campbell dropped a bomb on Drew Rosenhaus, alleging the North Miami-based NFL super agent paid Tommy Streeter -- one of five Miami Hurricanes football players who left school early to enter the draft -- $50,000 to sign with him. The Miami New Times columnist was a guest on the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2012

    For Miami Dolphins, Drafting Miami Hurricanes Is Too Little, Too Late

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives an F to the Miami Dolphins and the Miami Hurricanes underclassmen who left school for the NFL draft.As much I've put t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 24, 2012

    Florida Schools' 30-Year Streak of Producing First-Round NFL Draft Picks Could End

    We all know the University of Miami's historic streak of having a football player taken in the first round of every single NFL draft between 1995 and 2008 is now a thing of the past, but an even longer streak may come to an end this year.Every single year since 1981 a player from either UM, UF or FS ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Hurricanes' Lamar Miller Reportedly Entering NFL Draft

    ​Without a doubt the highlight of the Miami Hurricanes' otherwise mediocre season was the explosive play of running back Lamar Miller. As a redshirt sophomore we figured he'd stay at least one more season in Coral Gables, but now CBS Sports reporter Bruce Feldman is reporting via Twitter that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2010

    Canes Dominate, Dolphins Not So Much

    ‚ÄčIf Florida A&M's goal was to come out and get completely annihilated in the most humbling way imaginable, then mission accomplished because The U came out and crushed the Rattlers 45-0 last night. The defense recorded eight sacks, Jacory Harris tossed three touchdowns, Leonard Hankerson caugh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2009

    Signing Day: Randy Shannon Finds His Next Batch of Recruits to Suspend

    University of Miami used to have this wonderful, magical football program that everyone feared. Then sometime a few years ago everyone got tired of being wonderful and magical and stopped winning games, and they've officially been having "a rebuilding year" every single year since. Today is the firs ... More >>

  • News

    October 23, 1997

    It's Authentic When Linda Hart Says It's Authentic

    And when it's not, even acclaimed investigative reporters eat crow