Lakeland

Florida Leads Nation in Foreclosures, Miami Tops All Cities

You're first in the nation, Miami! Sadly we are not talking about the Miami Heat, we are talking foreclosures. Florida, during the first quarter, has been America's foreclosure capital, while Miami leads all cities in Florida with a terrifying one in every 79 residences being involved in some sort o ... More >>

Florida Highway Patrol Busts Soup Bandit Who Nabbed $75,000 Worth of Broth

Eusebio Diaz Acosta made it all the way to Tamarac with his stolen tractor-trailer full of soup, but that is where his dream of soup-filled days would end -- until soup day in jail, that is. In the most un-Goodfellas heist ever, Acosta is charged with stealing a tractor-trailer full of $7 ... More >>

Study: Miamians Slightly Less Miserable Than in 2011

Congratulations, we're 119th!Gallup has once again released its annual Well-Being Index, and of the country's 189 metropolitan statistical areas, the Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Pompano area came in 119th. Which still isn't that great, but it's a stark improvement from our 146th ranking in 2011.

Immokalee Farmworkers Start 14-Day March, Pinpoint Publix

Immokalee farmworkers and their allies started on a 14-day, 200-mile trek across Florida to protest low wages and poor working conditions yesterday.According to Naples News, about 150 people took to the streets of Fort Myers, some holding signs, a few carrying a large paper mache farm worker that ha ... More >>

Rat Bastard's International Noise Conference: Insane 135-Act Lineup, Celebrates 10 Years

According to the Internet, a ten year anniversary is to be celebrated with diamonds. Because "a marriage that lasts ten years is as durable and beautiful as a diamond."Now, "durable" and "beautiful" may not be the first words one associates with Frank "Rat Bastard" Falestra's annual International N ... More >>

Judge Rules Florida Woman Cannot Have Any More Kids or She'll Violate Her Probation

Kimberly Lightsey was handed down an unusual sentencing as part of a plea deal related to child abuse charges. A judge ruled she cannot have any more children or she would violate her probation. Man, talk about the government telling a woman what to do with her body.

I-4 Corridor Predicts Florida for Romney

Study: South Florida Isn't Actually a Good Place to Retire

Despite its reputation as America's premier retirement destination, a new study shows that South Florida actually isn't the smartest place for the elderly to retire. The Milken Institute's "Best Cities for Successful Aging" rankings put the South Florida tri-county area at 37th out of America's 100 ... More >>

Florida Man Steals Dead Woman's Ashes, Threatens to Snort Them

Some people steal things for monetary and material gain. Others steal things because they are just truly horrible people who get a kick out of hurting others. Joseph W. Pointer, 51, of Lakeland, Florida, is apparently in the later category.He allegedly stole a dead woman's ashes and then told the de ... More >>

Florida Dad Shakes Baby to Death for Interrupting Xbox Marathon

Jacob David Hartley had been a dad for three weeks, but apparently didn't have as much enthusiasm for his newborn son as he did for his Xbox. The 20-year-old Lakeland, Florida, resident stands accused of shaking his son to death after the child started crying while he was in the middle of a video ga ... More >>

Florida Man Molested Boys in Party Van Full of Video Games

Leonard Filipkowski drove what police describe as "a predator's paradise" -- a giant, colorfully painted van with darkened windows and a sophisticated system of flat screen TVs and video games installed in the back. Filipkowski has now been charged with 20 counts of counts lewd and lascivious acts i ... More >>

Florida Atheists Spray Highway With "Unholy Water" to Protest Religious Blessing

​The eternal war between righteous Christians and smarmy nonbelievers has a new ground zero: rural Highway 98 in Polk County, Florida. First, a religious group called Polk Under Prayer blessed the Central Florida asphalt strip with "holy oil" to protect the county from Satan, "evildoers" and "the ... More >>

Florida Teen Forced To Kneel For Nine Hours Straight, Eat Only Meat Shakes, Police Say

​Yesterday afternoon, a 13-year-old boy hobbled down a Lakeland road to a neighbor's house and complained of a barbaric running punishment: for more than a week, he'd been forced to sleep in a bathtub, then spend nine straight hours kneeling every day with only a single daily "shake" made of blend ... More >>

Workers Storm the Capital Grille in Miami; Cite Discrimination, Wage Theft

​Yesterday evening, over 60 restaurant workers and Restaurant Opportunities Centers United supporters from several union and labor groups walked into the Capital Grille in Miami during the restaurant's dinner service, interrupting the bankers and power brokers who dine there to read a letter to ma ... More >>

Do Not Set Up a Mini-Meth Lab in a Moving Car: Sad Lessons from Actual Floridians

​When police found 36-year-old Clifford Ellison dead inside an overturned car in Lakeland, Florida, they at first assumed he had died in the accident. Turns out that wasn't the case. He actually died because the man in his passenger seat set off a mini-explosions while trying to mix meth in the mo ... More >>

Reader mail: Don't blame 95 Express, blame drivers

Florida Court Rules Pasting Kids' Faces on Naked Adult Bodies is Not Child Porn

​Danny Parker, a Sunday school teacher from Lakeland, Florida, was arrested and eventually convicted on child porn charges in 2009 after he was found to have cut out the faces of children from photos he'd taken and then pasted them on the bodies of explicit photos of adults. Now, a Florida appeals ... More >>

Matthew Bellamy, Hero/Idiot Who Wore LeBron Jersey to Cleveland Indians Game, Severely Beaten

​Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>

Gators Coach Will Muschamp Disses Hurricanes

​Barring some sort of bowl matchup, the Florida Gators and the Miami Hurricanes won't meet again on the football field until 2013, but the two programs are always locked in an intense recruiting war for players and, occasionally, personnel. Wide receivers coach Aubrey Hill was one of the few staff ... More >>

No, 70 People Were Not Trapped in an Airport Hangar Due to Central Florida's Crazy Weather

via Bay News 9​It's in the 80s and perfectly sunny here in Miami, but our state-mates in the central part of Florida aren't enjoying the same good weather. An apparent tornado that ripped through Tampa has left many areas in Central Florida in disarray. But a report carried by numerous national me ... More >>

Pedobear Makes Awkwardly Appropriate Appearance in Florida Coupon Book

​Pedobear, the online meme meant to mock pedophiles, recently popped up in a Lakeland, Florida coupon book for a computer parts distribution company called CP Distributor. Unfortunately, CP also stands for "child pornography," and it appears some clueless coupon designer included the image not kno ... More >>

Crash Course: 411-PAIN network will line their pockets with your insurance money

Archbishop Thomas Wenski: Tea Party conservative and church radical

Matthew Bellamy, Thrown Out of Cleveland Ballpark in Heat Jersey, Tells His Side of the Story

via ABC15​Matthew Bellamy provided some, apparently, much needed catharsis for angry Cleveland sports fans Wednesday. He showed up at a Cleveland Indians game in LeBron James Miami Heat jersey and got booed out of the stadium. Now he's telling his side of the story, and apparently fans weren't the ... More >>

Miami Chefs Attend Club Med Wine & Food Fest

Photo by Riki AltmanChefs in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for Club Med's 2010 Wine & Food Festival.​Club Med, the all-inclusive vacation concept company with its North American headquarters in Miami, has hosted an annual culinary event for years, but it was always kept on the down low.  ... More >>

Backstage in South Florida: Who to Thank for Jimmy Buffett's Illustrious Career

​Music vet and New Times scribe Lee Zimmerman shares stories of memorable rock 'n' roll encounters that took place in our local environs. This week, Jimmy gets a hit and Lee gets the nod.Prior to May 1977, Jimmy Buffett was just another wannabe singer/songwriter who did his time in Nashville befor ... More >>

WTF Florida: Pet Snowballs and Attack of the Pizza Fliers

Bay News 9​There's more than enough weird things that happen here in Miami-Dade, but sometimes it seems we're downright sane compared to the rest of Florida. WTF Florida is our new weekly survey of all the weirdness our Peninsula has to offer. Florida's Oldest SnowballIt rarely snows here in ... More >>

Weekly Wrapup: The Friday Time Warp

Jacob KatelHave a drink on us, tonight, New Times tweetup at Waxy's On The River. #NTTweetUp​Some weeks run faster than a lobster from a hot pot of water, a chicken from a cleaver, or a pig from a bottle of Mojo. That's what this one did to us. Here are some posts you might have missed over the we ... More >>

Publix Headquarters in Lakeland Protested by 500 for Farm Workers' Rights

Jacob KatelSunday, November 8, 2009, West Miami​This past Sunday, more than 500 voices rang out strong in Lakeland at Publix headquarters. Students, farm workers, religious leaders, and concerned citizens came together to protest the supermarket company. It has refused to align itself with the Coa ... More >>

Does Publix Support Slavery? Farm Workers Protest for Human Rights

Does your grocery store support modern slavery in the fields of Florida? A Florida farmworkers union says that Lakeland, Florida based grocery chain Publix continues to buy produce from growers recently convicted of actual human slavery.Heavy beatings, knife wounds, arms in chains, forced living i ... More >>

Who is Paula Dockery and Why is She Running for Governor?

After a few months of publicly flirting with the idea, Republican State Senator Paula Dockery of Lakeland officially announced today that she will run for Governor, and challenge Attorney General Bill McCollum in the Republican Primary. So, who is this lady and why is she doing it? Sh ... More >>

Miami, Again, Among 20 Worst Economically Performing Metro Areas

No, this isn't a temperature chart. The 20 weakest metros are dotted in red. ​Florida dominates the list of 20 metropolitan areas still struggling to make an economic turnaround. Eight Florida areas make up the bottom rung of worst-performing cities in Brooking's latest MetroMonitor Report.&n ... More >>

Study: Miami Amongst 20 Weakest Metro Areas

via Brookings InstituteFlorida is the only state that starts with an FHere's the bad news: According to a new study of the 100 most populous metro areas in America by the Brookings Institution, the Miami area, including the rest of South Florida, is one of the 20 economically weakest metro areas in ... More >>

Paula Dockery Looking into Governor's Race

So much for the state Party's efforts to playdown the importance of primaries during the 2010 election cycle. Attorney General Bill McCollum is the establishment favor to take the Republican's nomination for the Governors race. So much so that it seems Agriculture Commissioner Charles ... More >>

Paradise Lost

For many residents, the luster of Williams Island is long gone

The Aviators

Death and near-death experiences haunt these fly guys

Ah, Zo Is Hoopin' and Hollerin'

Copeland

Letters to the Editor

Letters from the issue of March 16, 2000

Never Too Small to Break the Rules

Andrea Loring got tired of seeing private high schools recruit star basketball players. But she had no idea busting them would bring her such grief.

Southern Gothic

For Miami filmmaker Tag Purvis, completing his first full-length movie wasn't just a matter of going home. He also had to stay alive.

News of the Weird

Dream Team

For years Miami Senior High School has fielded one of the best basketball teams in the nation. But getting into the record books has meant tossing out the rule books.

Publix Maximus

Crabby oldsters, cranky youngsters, exotic erotic pussycats, hormone-buzzed buff boys, and chitter-chattering checkers mix it up in the cultural Cuisinart that is the Publix supermarket on South Beach

Depth Wish

A new breed of scuba diver is testing the limits using experimental gases, advanced technology, and a compulsion to take risks

Industrious Resolutions

Miami artists share their wry hopes, sly hopes, and high hopes for the coming year

Program Notes 29

Program Notes

Program Notes

Cuba Over and Out