Ku Klux Klan

Ultra Music Festival Noise Provokes (Hilarious) Complaint, Maybe Condom Catapults

As Hurricane Ultra doubles back upon Bayfront Park today, some cranky locals are once again boarding up the windows and bolting town. But apparently not everyone got the message about the massive, noisy music festival."We have no information about this event till yesterday," writes out-of-towner Mic ... More >>

The Deftones Celebrating 25 Years of Alt Metal, Coming to Fillmore Miami Beach

Don't call it a comeback. Because the Deftones never left. And avoid using the term "rap metal." Because this band detests musical subgenres. Instead, celebrate the fact that this crew is still tearing the tits off music venues, like the Fillmore Miami Beach, with the same Adrenaline levels as 25 ... More >>

Reader Mail: DJ Seasunz's Drug Use Didn't Make Him a Murderer

Ten Black Pop Stars Who Should Go Country

Editor's note: Country Time is a new biweekly column for our sister music blog in Seattle, celebrating that city's favorite musical genre: mainstream country. With the nation's major-party political conventions drawing to a close recently with a rousing reelection appeal from the nation's first bla ... More >>

Condoleezza Rice Is an Uncle Tom

Condoleezza Rice and Marco Rubio Are The GOP's Golden Tokens

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke explains how minorities rise up the ranks of the GOP.During her speech at the National Republican Convention last week, former Secret ... More >>

The Avengers Movie Needed The Black Panther

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the United States Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke is mad that there were no black super heroes in The Avengers movie.Over the weekend, I finally took my son to watch the ... More >>

Trayvon Martin's Death Shows Justice is Not Equal

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke is tired of marching and rallying for justice.Last week, thousands of people, led by Rev. Al Sharpton, held a rally in Sa ... More >>

Florida Man Uses Fake KKK Cross Burning to Try to Save His Marriage

​The flames of hate rarely relight a dimming flicker of love, but L.B. Williams of Panama City decided to stage a fake KKK-style cross burning in his front yard as a last-ditch effort to get his wife to call off their planned divorce. Instead, the bizarre romantic scheme ended with Williams b ... More >>

Ice Cream Shop Owner Forced To Clarify That Mascot Is Not A KKK Member

via Ocala.comThe amazing news page at the Ocala Star-Banner this morning.​The good citizens of Ocala have been mighty concerned lately about the man in the pointy-headed white hood waving at their cars from a downtown street corner. "Is the KKK back in Florida?" they naturally wondered.But no. Oca ... More >>

Nine Fascinating Facts About Dolly Parton to Take Your Eyes Off Her Boobs

Via dollyparton.com​Dolly Parton is a freaking hero. Her quick wit, good manners, powerful look, and business savvy make her the Oprah of the Smoky Mountains. Or maybe Oprah is the Dolly of Chicago? Either way, both bitches are fierce, and Dolly's more fun. As the Queen of Country Music, her reig ... More >>

Yahweh ben Yahweh is back

Julio Robaina squirms and Michael Putney flubs

Voters Know That Luther Campbell Is Dead Serious

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, with the election still hanging in the balance, Luke reflects on the mayoral campaign he made serious.A few weeks ago, WPLG-Ch ... More >>

Who Wanna Wild Out at Miami-Dade Mayoral Candidate Luther Campbell's Campaign Rally?

Vote Uncle Luke 4 Mayor!​Most professional politicians don't know how to party. They're idea of "fun" is finger foods, light drinks, and saxophone music. So under normal circumstances, we here at Crossfade prefer partying to politicking, boozing to bargaining, drugging to debating. But Miami-Dad ... More >>

Lynn Dannheisser Confuses Italian-Named Law Firm With Her Favorite Pasta Joint

​Lynn Dannheisser, the royally paid Surfside town attorney who has declared a bizarre war on bloggers -- comparing them to the KKK at a recent commission meeting -- is fast becoming Riptide's favorite public official. It's her unhinged quality that makes her so entertaining. Surfside is like her v ... More >>

Of Michael Putney, Uncle Luke, the KKK, and Marco Rubio (Video)

Jacob KatelLuther Campbell bossin' up​News flash: Old white guy confuses KKK with NAACP.So, is veteran TV reporter Michael Putney uncomfortable with the sight of two black candidates running for Miami-Dade County mayor?A factual error made by the newsman while serving as moderator at a political d ... More >>

ACLU Chief Howard Simon Recalls MLK and Bloody Sunday

Photo by Jacob KatelHoward Simon​American Civil Liberties executive director Howard Simon took part in the last century's most significant freedom march with Dr. Martin Luther King. Then he was part of lawsuits that indicated our own government might have played a role in one of the civil rights m ... More >>

New Times' Best Quotes of 2010

George Rekers, quote machine.​Here at New Times, people say all sorts of crazy shit to us. Then we hand-pick only the craziest shit and sift it into a giant grinder, which pumps out the little sparkling quote nuggets you find in your newspaper every week. They are designed to make you cry, giggle ... More >>

Sun-Sentinel Sells Political Ad to Bat-Sh*t Insane Michael The Black Man

Laura Massa​Good ol' Michael the Black Man -- he should fit right in with the apocalyptic feel of this morning's news. The former cult member, who once was charged with cutting somebody's head off and led a group interrupting an Obama speech with signs bearing such slogans as "Obama is endors ... More >>

Ground Zero mosque idea stinks

Remember 9/11 and Say No to the Ground Zero Mosque

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times.This week, Luke says no to the Ground Zero mosque.I don't believe there should be a mosque next to the Ground Zero memorial site in Ne ... More >>

Letters from the issue of August 26, 2010

Rick Scott and Bill McCollum want to turn Miami into an immigration prison

Rick Scott and Bill McCollum Are Florida's Grand Wizards

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke claims Democrats are missing in action in the governor's race.The Democratic Party is out of sight and out of mind in the ... More >>

Son of "Michael the Black Man" Charged With Shooting at Swimmers with AK47

Jeremiah Parham​In today's news roundup: the son of everyone's favorite anti-Obama, ex-cultist Michael the Black Man, is charged with shooting at two swimmers with an AK47, the Metromover re-opens, Miami-Dade may start charging for parking at parks, and neighbors fight over a dog attack.>

Riptide Presents the All-Asshole Major League Baseball Team

Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.​So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>

The Tea Party is the KKK

Marco Rubio Should Get Fitted For A White Robe and Hood

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke sizes up Senate candidates Charlie Crist, Kendrick Meek, and Marco Rubio.Alex Izaguirre​Rubio will probably go down in his ... More >>

Cuban Singer Omara Portuondo Cancels Show; Old Exiles Rejoice

via jazzfestwienPortuondo​Ever since the Los Van Van concert last month went by without a hitch, cantankerous anti-Castro activists here have been itching for some kind of PR victory. They just got it today: bolero singer Omara Portuondo canceled her March 2 concert at The Fillmore in Miami Beach ... More >>

Do the Right Thing

Kardashian Spinoff Set to Infect Miami

Does reality television even try anymore? Sorry we had to get Perez Hilton on this photo, just couldn't find a picture of just these two we could use. Let's see. Kim Kardashian got famous for being Paris Hilton's temporary Nicole Richie replacement, and then for her gross sex tape with Brandy's litt ... More >>

So, Who's Going to Lose to Charlie?

Absent amongst all this hullabaloo over who might seek the senate seat in 2010 is any murmur, any indication, any rumor of who the Dems might put up for Governor. Yeah, there's this wild card chance that Charlie Crist might run for senate, and if that happens expect CFO Alex Sink to declare her cand ... More >>

Black Friday Alternatives

Riptide does not understand this Black Friday nonsense, not one bit. We saw on the teevee news that people were camping out. What is this? Are the deals really all that much better? Personally we think the best way to spend black Friday is recovering from a hangover, but we have some other suggestio ... More >>

Michael the Black Man Trashes Obama

A former cult member crashed the UM rally.

WTF? Blacks Against Obama?

Let's Go to Prison

Harold and Kumar get shipped to Gitmo in this forced act two.

Do Y'all Ever Need an Editor?

Or: Three Reasons to Have a Crush on Paul Tei

Stage Capsules

Current Shows

Stage Capsules

Current shows

Guys and Balls, Gals and Bush

These films are far beyond Spartacus

Lessons in Hate

"The Art of Hatred: Images of Intolerance in Florida Culture"

Bona Fide

Joel and Ethan Coen's Brother hits a Homer

In the Rough

A half-century before the Tiger Woods era, black Miamians fought a losing battle to hit the links

News of the Weird

News of the Weird

News of the Weird

Program Notes 20

Program Notes