Jose Reyes

Jose Reyes Claims Jeffery Loria Told Him to Buy a Home in Miami Two Days Before Trading Him

Sure, you might have been mad when the Marlins unloaded almost all of their stars on the Blue Jays, but how do you think the players felt? Jeez, they had to give up living in sunny Miami for frigid Canada.Jose Reyes was none too pleased with Jeffrey Loria after the surprise trade. He claims Loria ou ... More >>

Sabado Gigante Celebrates 50 Years

Mayan Calendar Predictions vs. Miami Reality

Murder at Burger King For a Measly $2,300

Miami-based Burger King is in the news again, not because of its food, but because of a senseless murder.Jose Reyes Mejia-Varela, the former manager of a BK located in Maryland, has pleaded guilty to the murder of Jacinta "Patty" Ayala, assistant manager at the same location.Ayala, 32, was the mothe ... More >>

Mark Buehrle's Pit Bull Not Welcome in Toronto Either

When the Marlins signed Mark Buehrle last year, the starting pitcher soon realized that his pet pit bull Slater wasn't welcome in Miami thanks to the county's pit bull ban. At least in South Florida he had the option of moving his family up to Broward County, where the dogs are legal.Shortly after f ... More >>

"I'm Not A Quitter:" Revisiting Jeffrey Loria's Most Hilarious Lies About the "New" Marlins

Jeffrey Loria is a liar. This is well documented. After years of claiming poverty while begging for ballpark handouts, leaked documents showed that, nope, the Marlins were actually one of baseball's most profitable franchises.So why in the name of Conine did anyone believe Loria when he said the new ... More >>

The Miami Marlins Just Traded All Their Players: Reyes, Johnson, Buehrle, Buck and Bonafacio All Gone

One year after the taxpayers of Miami-Dade gave Jeffrey Loria a brand new, $560 million ballpark, he's already given up even pretending to field a major league baseball team. In one of the largest salary dumps in the history of baseball, the Marlins are reportedly shipping basically every player on ... More >>

Could Alex Rodriguez Be a Miami Marlin Next Season? Keith Olbermann Says So

Are the New York Yankees looking to unload Alex Rodriguez on the Miami Marlins next season? That's what Keith Olbermann, of all people, is reporting. The liberal newsman turned baseball blogger says that the teams are discussing a deal that could see A-Rod traded to Miami in exchange for Heath Bell. ... More >>

Miami Marlins Keep Lying About Stadium

Avril Lavigne Promises "Badass" Wedding Dress, Forgets She Is Avril Lavigne and Marrying the Nickelback Guy

See also "Avril Lavigne & Nickelback, Diarrhea-Flavored Mouthwash, Four Other Gross Marriages." OK, this Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger engagement thing has gone too far. At first, it seemed fun. Or at least, an efficient way for a vengeful Old Testament god to smite them both with a single bo ... More >>

Jeffrey Loria Loves to Watch Jose Reyes Breathe, Promises Marlins Will Be Better Next Year

The best year in Miami sports is always next year.Sure, the Miami Marlins may have turned a promising start in their new stadium into a full fledged failure, but don't worry Marlins fans, all five of you that are left, owner Jeffrey Loria says the team will be able to compete next year!

Reader Mail: Norman Braman Is a Bully in the Guise of a Civic-Minded Leader

Losers’ Ball

Hanley Ramirez Traded to the Dodgers As Marlins Firesale Rages On

On The Franchise, Showtime's series following the Marlins this season, GM Michael Hill recently had this to say about the team's core, lead by Hanley Ramirez: "The veterans have crapped all over themselves."That smack-down may not have been the best strategy for pumping up Ramirez's trade value, but ... More >>

Big Fat Disappointment

The Franchise Episode 1 Recap: Peaks, Valleys & F-Bombs

The first episode of The Franchise: Miami Marlins featured a shitload of F-bombs and was narrated by Don Draper, officially making The Franchise the greatest thing on TV ever.The first episode covered Ozzie Guillen's Fidel Castro comments, the team's blowing shit up in May, and their shit-the-b ... More >>

Luke's Gospel: Miami Heat Is Way Ahead of Dolphins, Marlins

Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross Can Learn a Lot From Micky Arison

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>

Money Balls

Jose Gets His Groove Back

Gipsy Kings at the James L. Knight Center April 20

Cuban Baseball Agents: Risks and Lies

Marlins' Reality Show Trailer Shows Ozzie Guillen Being Suspended By David Samson

The second season of The Franchise, Showtime's baseball "docudrama" (a fancy word for reality series) isn't supposed to debut for months. Of course, this season the show is following the exploits of the Miami Marlins, and the season has already had its fair share of drama. So, Showtime is rushing a ... More >>

Marlins Park Scores Big With Unusual, Gourmet Twists on Ballpark Cuisine

Gipsy Kings' One-Night Stand at James L. Knight on April 20

Gipsy Kings is the OG gitano rock band. Way before Gogol Bordello sang punky odes to the proverbial wanderer, the Kings traversed the globe, blending Spanish rumba and flamenco guitar for a worldwide audience. On Friday, April 20, the Gipsy Kings swing through Miami for a one-night stand at the ... More >>

Reader Mail: Hungry, Broke Miamians Aren't Into the Marlins and the New Stadium

Jose Reyes and Hanley Ramirez Got Matching Dye Jobs

When the Miami Marlins signed Jose Reyes, there was a lot of speculation as to how the speedy Dominican superstar shortstop would mesh with the team's existing speedy Dominican superstar shortstop, Hanley Ramirez. The answer: They're basically the Siegfried and Roy of America's pastime.

Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief

Marlins Madhouse

Jose Reyes' Dreadlocks Sell for $10,200

​The Miami Marlins' new star Jose Reyes had to cut off his dreadlocks for $105 million, but online they only sold for $10,200.Reyes agreed to sheer his trademark dreads in order to meet the Marlin's grooming rules. The haircut was aired live on the MLB network, and the dreads were put up on auctio ... More >>

Miami Marlins May Get Their Own Reality TV Show on Showtime

​Given the amount of, shall we say, "strong personalities" that have so far been signed by the Miami Marlins for next season, we almost have to wonder if Jeffrey Loria has been assembling the cast of a guilty pleasure reality TV show or a playoff-caliber team. Turns out he might have been doing bo ... More >>

Reader mail: "MAM board members should be indicted for stupidity"

Miami's top news stories of 2011

Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

Luther Campbell loves the Miami Marlins, federal investigation be damned

Marlins Will Make Jose Reyes Cut His Dreads

Reyes is not as free as his hair. ​Good thing the Marlins are the only team in the MLB with an official barber, because newly signed Jose Reyes will have to sit down in Hugo Tandron's chair soon. Reyes has sported shoulder length dreadlocks for the better part of his career with the Mets, but the ... More >>

Albert Pujols Offered 10-Year Contract by Marlins

​SEC probes and baffling aesthetic choices aside, the Miami Marlins really do deserve credit for keeping good on their promise of upping their payroll and making the team a serious contender. A day after adding prized shortstop Jose Reyes, ESPN is reporting that the Fish have made a 10-year contra ... More >>

Jose Reyes to the Marlins: The Conflicting Emotions of A Miami-Residing Mets Fan

​I was in the stands at Shea Stadium in 2006 when Endy Chavez, God bless his tiny heart, made this heroic catch in the NLCS' Game 7 to seemingly seal the Mets' glorious destiny. That was the last time I've ever experienced joy. Three innings later, Carlos Beltran was frozen by an Adam Wainwright ... More >>

Albert Pujols Reportedly Offered a Nine-Year, $225 Million Contract By Marlins

​For a team that has had one of the lowest payrolls in the past few years and claimed they could only spend $155 million to build their own stadium, the Miami Marlins certainly seem to have a lot of money to be throwing around all of the sudden. After reports surfaced yesterday the team had offere ... More >>

Jose Reyes Could Become the Highest Paid Marlin in History, but It Might Not Be Enough

​According to a report from Fox Sports, the Marlins have extended a six-year contract to Jose Reyes worth $90 million. That would make him far and away the highest paid player in the franchise's history, and if true is an indication that owner Jeffrey Loria really is willing to put his money where ... More >>

Is This the Miami Marlins Uniform Jose Reyes and Albert Pujols Will Wear Next Year? UPDATED

via a tipster​The Marlins will officially unveil their new logo and uniforms tonight at 9. (That they didn't hold the event at 11:11 this morning seems like a loss, but oh well.) The logo and alleged mockups of the uniforms have already leaked, but Uni-Watch apparently has the first actual picture ... More >>

Gipsy Kings Tonight at Mizner Park

Night in the Abstract

In this gallery cluster, it's all about the big pictures

Pop Goes Installation

Box's show attempts to probe art as theater and theater as art

Performance Pizza

Café Neuralgia

Art Out on the Town

Little Havana's Viernes Culturales

Man in the Window

José Reyes's installation/performance "A Better Way of Life"

Something New, Something Wow

"Departing Perspectives" and "Arte Actual"

Calendar for the week