Sure, you might have been mad when the Marlins unloaded almost all of their stars on the Blue Jays, but how do you think the players felt? Jeez, they had to give up living in sunny Miami for frigid Canada.Jose Reyes was none too pleased with Jeffrey Loria after the surprise trade. He claims Loria ou ... More >>
Miami-based Burger King is in the news again, not because of its food, but because of a senseless murder.Jose Reyes Mejia-Varela, the former manager of a BK located in Maryland, has pleaded guilty to the murder of Jacinta "Patty" Ayala, assistant manager at the same location.Ayala, 32, was the mothe ... More >>
When the Marlins signed Mark Buehrle last year, the starting pitcher soon realized that his pet pit bull Slater wasn't welcome in Miami thanks to the county's pit bull ban. At least in South Florida he had the option of moving his family up to Broward County, where the dogs are legal.Shortly after f ... More >>
Jeffrey Loria is a liar. This is well documented. After years of claiming poverty while begging for ballpark handouts, leaked documents showed that, nope, the Marlins were actually one of baseball's most profitable franchises.So why in the name of Conine did anyone believe Loria when he said the new ... More >>
One year after the taxpayers of Miami-Dade gave Jeffrey Loria a brand new, $560 million ballpark, he's already given up even pretending to field a major league baseball team. In one of the largest salary dumps in the history of baseball, the Marlins are reportedly shipping basically every player on ... More >>
Are the New York Yankees looking to unload Alex Rodriguez on the Miami Marlins next season? That's what Keith Olbermann, of all people, is reporting. The liberal newsman turned baseball blogger says that the teams are discussing a deal that could see A-Rod traded to Miami in exchange for Heath Bell. ... More >>
See also "Avril Lavigne & Nickelback, Diarrhea-Flavored Mouthwash, Four Other Gross Marriages." OK, this Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger engagement thing has gone too far. At first, it seemed fun. Or at least, an efficient way for a vengeful Old Testament god to smite them both with a single bo ... More >>
The best year in Miami sports is always next year.Sure, the Miami Marlins may have turned a promising start in their new stadium into a full fledged failure, but don't worry Marlins fans, all five of you that are left, owner Jeffrey Loria says the team will be able to compete next year!
On The Franchise, Showtime's series following the Marlins this season, GM Michael Hill recently had this to say about the team's core, lead by Hanley Ramirez: "The veterans have crapped all over themselves."That smack-down may not have been the best strategy for pumping up Ramirez's trade value, but ... More >>
The first episode of The Franchise: Miami Marlins featured a shitload of F-bombs and was narrated by Don Draper, officially making The Franchise the greatest thing on TV ever.The first episode covered Ozzie Guillen's Fidel Castro comments, the team's blowing shit up in May, and their shit-the-b ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>
The second season of The Franchise, Showtime's baseball "docudrama" (a fancy word for reality series) isn't supposed to debut for months. Of course, this season the show is following the exploits of the Miami Marlins, and the season has already had its fair share of drama. So, Showtime is rushing a ... More >>
Gipsy Kings is the OG gitano rock band. Way before Gogol Bordello sang punky odes to the proverbial wanderer, the Kings traversed the globe, blending Spanish rumba and flamenco guitar for a worldwide audience. On Friday, April 20, the Gipsy Kings swing through Miami for a one-night stand at the ... More >>
When the Miami Marlins signed Jose Reyes, there was a lot of speculation as to how the speedy Dominican superstar shortstop would mesh with the team's existing speedy Dominican superstar shortstop, Hanley Ramirez. The answer: They're basically the Siegfried and Roy of America's pastime.
The Miami Marlins' new star Jose Reyes had to cut off his dreadlocks for $105 million, but online they only sold for $10,200.Reyes agreed to sheer his trademark dreads in order to meet the Marlin's grooming rules. The haircut was aired live on the MLB network, and the dreads were put up on auctio ... More >>
Given the amount of, shall we say, "strong personalities" that have so far been signed by the Miami Marlins for next season, we almost have to wonder if Jeffrey Loria has been assembling the cast of a guilty pleasure reality TV show or a playoff-caliber team. Turns out he might have been doing bo ... More >>
Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.
Reyes is not as free as his hair. Good thing the Marlins are the only team in the MLB with an official barber, because newly signed Jose Reyes will have to sit down in Hugo Tandron's chair soon. Reyes has sported shoulder length dreadlocks for the better part of his career with the Mets, but the ... More >>
SEC probes and baffling aesthetic choices aside, the Miami Marlins really do deserve credit for keeping good on their promise of upping their payroll and making the team a serious contender. A day after adding prized shortstop Jose Reyes, ESPN is reporting that the Fish have made a 10-year contra ... More >>
I was in the stands at Shea Stadium in 2006 when Endy Chavez, God bless his tiny heart, made this heroic catch in the NLCS' Game 7 to seemingly seal the Mets' glorious destiny. That was the last time I've ever experienced joy. Three innings later, Carlos Beltran was frozen by an Adam Wainwright ... More >>
For a team that has had one of the lowest payrolls in the past few years and claimed they could only spend $155 million to build their own stadium, the Miami Marlins certainly seem to have a lot of money to be throwing around all of the sudden. After reports surfaced yesterday the team had offere ... More >>
According to a report from Fox Sports, the Marlins have extended a six-year contract to Jose Reyes worth $90 million. That would make him far and away the highest paid player in the franchise's history, and if true is an indication that owner Jeffrey Loria really is willing to put his money where ... More >>
via a tipsterThe Marlins will officially unveil their new logo and uniforms tonight at 9. (That they didn't hold the event at 11:11 this morning seems like a loss, but oh well.) The logo and alleged mockups of the uniforms have already leaked, but Uni-Watch apparently has the first actual picture ... More >>
In this gallery cluster, it's all about the big pictures
Box's show attempts to probe art as theater and theater as art
Little Havana's Viernes Culturales
José Reyes's installation/performance "A Better Way of Life"
"Departing Perspectives" and "Arte Actual"