Subject:

Joey Porter

  • Blogs

    December 26, 2012

    Bad Week For Ex-Dolphins: Chad Johnson's Sex Tape Leaks, Joey Porter Goes To Jail

    The Miami Dolphins didn't have the best Christmas week: Despite smothering the Bills on Sunday, they were knocked out of the playoffs yet again when the Bengals later won. But the team can at least take comfort that their holidays weren't nearly as awful as two former Fins stars.Loudmouth linebacker ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2012

    Joey Porter Rips Jeff Ireland: Not "What a GM's Supposed To Be"

    ​Oh man, have we ever missed Joey Porter and his big, fat, flapping mouth. He talked himself out of town back in 2010. Porter pretty much got fired after ripping the team's management and then coach Tony Sparano. Rest assured, he still has words for Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland and sounded off about t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2010

    Channing Crowder "Couldn't Give A Damn" About Pleasing Dolphins Fans

    via Deuce of DavenportGo choke on a poison apple, Crowder.With Joey Porter long gone Channing Crowder took the spot of the Dolphin's top trash talker. Now with Tedd Ginn Jr. out of the way (thankfully), The Sun-Sentinel's Omar Kelly seems worried that Crowder could also take the place of the fanbase ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 30, 2010

    Food News Roundup: Junk Food, Burger King, Passover, and Dream Water

    "Scientists in Florida say overeaters are addicted to junk food in the same way drug addicts are addicted to cocaine and heroin." [AllHeadlineNews]"Project Downtown, an organization that started about two years ago in Miami and now has branches other U.S. cities," continues feeding the homeless. [VO ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 17, 2010

    Dolphins Sign Richie Incognito

    ​The Miami Dolphins have signed a one-year deal with controversial guard Richie Incognito, who was released late last year by the Rams. The deal is worth a little more than $1 million to the player with a suspiciously comic book villain-esque name.The Nebraska grad comes with a bit of baggage and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2010

    News Roundup: One Dead After Downtown Drive-By

    Nearly a quarter of new condos in Sunny Isles Beach are empty. [CBS4]One person is dead and another injured after an early-morning drive-by shooting in downtown Miami that began on the MacArthur Causeway. [CBS4]The bodies of the last missing Lynn University students and professors have been found an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2010

    Joey Porter and His Mouth Fired by the Dolphins

    Derf​Joey Porter's contract has been terminated by the Miami Dolphins. This comes after Porter's very public two-week campaign demanding that the Fins either play him as a full-time starter or let him go.Late last month, Porter went on a media rampage, making stops on ESPN and WQAM, complaining of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2010

    News Roundup: Super Bowl Stage Collapse Injures Four

    An audit criticized the waste of tens of thousands of tax-payer dollars by city of Miami workers on Government credit cards. Some how we got stiffed with the bill for a pink metallic dog collar. [Herald]A stage being built at Sun Life stadium collapsed, injuring four. [CBS4]Jackson Memoria ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2010

    News Roundup: Joey Porter Wants Out of Here

    A petition to recall Mayor Carlos Alvarez fell short by just a few thousand signatures. [CBS4]Murdered tourist Paula Sladewski's sister is back in town looking for the culprit, and the award for the killer's arrest has been raised to $15,000. [NBCMiami]Yesterday's rain and flooding caused ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2010

    Three Dolphins, Five Former-Hurricanes Named to NFL All-Decade Team

    ​Three players who have suited up in Dolphins Teal and five who are "all about The U," have been named to the NFL's All Decade Team. Chosen by the NFL Hall of Fame selection committee, the honors were announced before last night's Pro Bowl. Much like the Pro Bowl itself, the Hurricanes are represe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2010

    News Roundup: Heat Fall to Raptors, Beasley Busts a Knee

    Two teens in Hialeah are charged with trying to cover up the accidental shooting death of another teen. [CBS4]Coconut Grove bar owners are gearing up for a battle to bring back the neighborhood's 5 am last call. [CBS4]McClatchy, The Herald's parent company, posted a $25.8 million profit for the four ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2010

    News Roundup: City Commission Gets It Dunn

    After an epically long city commission meeting, commissioners chose the Rev. Richard Dunn to replace Michelle Spence-Jones after he pledged not to run for the seat in November. [Herald]Crime rates in unincorporated Dade County are down. [Herald]Sad Ponzi clown Scott Rothstein is going to p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 14, 2010

    Football Musical Chairs: Groh Top Candidate for Fins; USF Hires Holtz

    ​The past months have seen a lively game of musical chairs in the NCAA and NFL. Though the hottest action hasn't concerned Miami teams much, the effects are being felt here. The Dolphins fired defensive coordinator Paul Pasqualoni last week, and it seems like they're hoping to ... More >>

  • News

    December 3, 2009
  • Calendar

    December 3, 2009
  • Blogs

    December 1, 2009

    We Wait With Bated Breath for Michelle Spence-Jones's Next Acceptance Speech

    ​The best part about suspended City of Miami Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones's preordained re-election to her vacated seat is this: She'll be able to make another acceptance speech.Her defiant diatribe a few weeks ago -- when she took office moments before being cuffed and booked on grand theft ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2009

    Ricky Williams and His Amazing Feats of Ass-Kickery

    ​First things first: Ricky Williams is now officially the Ambassador of Fucking Your Shit Up and Knocking Fools' Dicks Into the Dirt after last night's brilliant 119-yard, three-touchdown performance. Many had their doubts about the Dolphins' ability to effectively run the ball without Ronnie Brow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Preview: Win or Call It a Season

    ​And so we come to this. Sitting at 4-5, the Miami Dolphins face a must-win situation tonight as take on the equally desperate (and some would say equally craptastic) 4-5 Carolina Panthers. The winner will experience the sweet taste of being a .500 team for the first time this season while embarki ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Preview: Avast Ye Ass Kickers!

    ​So, the Dolphins clearly cannot hang with the likes of the Colts, Saints, Falcons or Patriots. We get that. But this Sunday, the Fins host what is most likely the worst team in the NFL this side of Detroit - the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And while Miami does have the better team on paper, this just f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Lose: Hauntingly Familiar

    ​When Vontae Davis started off the game with a leaping interception that can only be described as Fuck Yea!, the consensus feeling was the Dolphins were going to make this one interesting. Maybe even pull off the upset. Alas, it was not to be. The Patriots were able to show us, once again, that th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2009

    Channing Crowder On The Saints: "Probably Smelling Themselves, Rubbing Each Other's Balls"

    via Deuce of DavenportThe downside of tattoos is that there's no denying when pictures like these hit the web.​The Dolphin's Joey Porter hasn't quite lived up to his trash talker potential this season, probably due to injury, but that's okay because it seems linebacker Channing Crowder is more tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Win: Champagne Breakfast for Everyone!

    ​You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington's shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 1, 2009
  • Blogs

    September 3, 2009

    Will.I.Am Wants to Try Out for Dolphins

    If you ask us, way too many of Will.i.am's dreams have come true. The Black Eyed Peas' resident shoddy producer has an ever growing ego, and now he has another modest dream: trying out for the Miami Dolphins. We say let him. Will.i.am took to some website called Dipdive... To brag about ho ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 13, 2009
  • Blogs

    August 6, 2009

    Miami Dolphins Continue Their Celebrity Love-Fest with Britto, T-Pain, Versace, and Ocean Drive Mag

    Remember those good ol' days when the Miami Dolphins just played football? When Shula, Marino, and Csonka were the names that first came to mind when you imagined the teal and orange -- not Buffett, Estefan, and Anthony?via Wikimedia CommonsThis cat is much more interesting than a Joey Por ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 23, 2009

    Update: Gloria and Emilio Estefan Get Minority Ownership in the Dolphins

    Last month, Riptide received a vague but alarming email invitation with this headline: "JIMMY BUFFETT, MIAMI DOLPHINS AND DOLPHIN STADIUM TO HOST MAJOR CORPORATE ANNOUNCEMENT."Riptide quickly RSVPed and was treated to one of the most disturbing displays in sports history: Jimmy Buffett playing to a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 8, 2009

    News Roundup

    LocalCat killer took two more kitty lives this weekend. [JustNews]Meanwhile, up in Broward, BSO deputies apparently think their copycat killer is just a bunch of wild dogs. [CBS4]South Beach residents: The city denies you were knee-deep in sewer water. [NBCMiami]Watergate "plumber" Bernard Barker di ... More >>

  • News

    December 25, 2008

    Holiday Shopping for Big Shots

    Gift ideas for Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter, Mayor Carlos Alvarez, and Related Group chairman Jorge Perez.

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2008

    Plax Sued By Miami Woman For Ramming Her Probe With His Benz

    Poor Plax. Just a year ago, the Giants wide receiver was riding pretty damn high -- Superbowl champ, massive contract, best ridiculous name in professional football.How did it all fall apart? How, damnit?! Oh yeah, you shot yourself in the leg at a nightclub, then drove around bleeding for a couple ... More >>

  • News

    December 18, 2008
  • Blogs

    December 16, 2008

    Two Dolphins Headed to Pro Bowl, but Not Pennington

    So the Pro Bowl selections were announced and your Miami Dolphins snagged two spots on the AFC team. Beloved trash talker Joey Porter will be one of the starting outside linebackers, while Ronnie Brown will serve as a reserve running back. One of the biggest snubs? Chad Pennington, who has been havi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2008

    Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

    The two most vicious hits in Sunday's Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame. First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2008

    Joey Porter Is Packing Heat, Feels for Plax

    Apparently those popcorn muscles aren't enough. In an interview aired a couple of minutes ago on ESPN, Dolphins linebacker, sack-master, and nonstop verbal diarrhea specialist Joey Porter said he feels for Plaxico Burress, the Giants wide receiver who recently shot himself in the leg at a nightclub ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2008

    The Dolphins' Ass-Kicking Prowess Has Gone International

    Holy sugartits is this a magical time to be a Dolphins fan! They're just displaying all kinds of dexterity in the ass-kicking department, as they did yesterday when they flew into Canada's Rogers Centre and delivered a beatdown to the rival Buffalo Bills. The Fins defeated Buffalo 16-3 in front of a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2008

    Weekend Football: The Doldrums

    Cold, hard reality set in last week for Miami's two most notable football squads. The Fins lost their rematch to the Pats, and the Canes saw their ACC title hopes evaporate. Hopefully they'll be able to put their disappointment behind them and not squander seasons that are, by last year's standard ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 24, 2008

    News Roundup

    Gunnery Sgt. Marcelo R. Velasco, 40, of Miami died in Iraq last week. He is the 4,202nd US Troop to be killed in this war. [Defense Link]Do these people have any sort of heart? Do they have any sort of sense of what's right for society beyond responding to their base level fears and ignorance? Plans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 24, 2008

    Don't Be Afraid to Make Them Punt or Anything

    The Patriots punted once in the entire game during yesterday's 48-28 win over the Dolphins. Once. New England's offense totaled 530 yards -- the most the Dolphins defense has allowed since 1995. You could still catch brand new episodes of Seinfeld the last time the Dolphins allowed that many yards. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2008

    Joey Porter Cool With Pit Bull Fighting, Not Cocker Spaniel Brawls

    Is there any extra duct tape lying around the Dolphins locker room? How about a ball gag? Because there are times when Joey Porter just needs to shut up. Porter was sharing his deep thoughts on the Michael Vick case and decided Vick should be given another shot in the NFL because he was abusing p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2008

    Pats Just Going to Take It from Joey Porter

    Is it even news anymore that Joey Porter runs his mouth? It's like, "I saw some birds fly, the grass is green, oxygen passes through our lungs, Joey Porter is trash-talking his opponents." It's only news if those things stop happening, or in Porter's case, the object of his derision replies in a n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2008
  • Calendar

    November 6, 2008
  • Blogs

    November 3, 2008

    Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

    All week long, Dolphins fans had the sweats thinking about what Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall was going to do to Miami’s secondary. And yet our boys in back stepped up and had their finest performance of the season. It all started with Will Allen's 32-yard interception return for a touchdown. ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 2, 2008

    Holy Crap! They Won?

    The Dolphins beat the Pats! Now it’s the Chargers’ turn.

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2008

    Joey Porter's Solution To The Financial Crises: Grab A Shovel

    via SI Enough about what our congressional delegates and candidates think about the financial crises. Is Ileana Ros-Lehtinen a three time Pro Bowl selection? Does Mario Diaz-Balart have a Super Bowl ring? Did Raul Martinez deliver the Patriot's first regular season loss in 21 games? Nope. So what d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2008

    The Dolphins Would Like to Invite the Naysayers to Eat a Dick Sandwich

    The Miami Dolphins shocked the world Sunday, defeating the mighty New England Patriots in Foxboro 38-13. Ronnie Brown accounted for all five touchdowns, leading the previously hapless Fins in their Ike Turner-esque bitch slap of the Patriots in New England. The victory ended the Pats' 21-regular sea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 4, 2008

    Calvin Pace Will Break Windows With His Arm In New York

    Calvin Pace, who smashed a window with his arm while playing grab-ass with some friends a couple of years ago, was waiting for Joey Porter money. And the Jets gave it to him. After being offered a contract by the Fins on Friday, Pace flew up to New York over the weekend to hear their sales pitch. In ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2008

    Tony Sparano Is The New Fins Head Coach

    BREAKING NEWS: In what is the least shocking news to ever break in franchise history, Tony Sparano has been named head coach of your Miami Dolphins. Update 2: The Dolphins website has made it official (evidently, they too have a shortage of Sparano pics). Update: Mortensen is reporting it too. A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2007

    The Spirit of '76?

    Well. This is it. One more loss away from tying the 1976 Bucs. Two more losses away from full on dementia. Beat the 4-9 Ravens or face the fact that you’ll be telling your grandkids you experienced the worst season ever in the history of the NFL. And then they’ll recoil in horror as they realiz ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2007
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