Jimmy Buffett

Coconut Grove Seafood Festival Announced

Coconut Grove, with its quaint, tree-lined streets and bayfront vistas, is the perfect setting for a seafood festival. Which is why the announcement of the Coconut Grove Seafood Festival makes such perfect sense. The inaugural festival is set to take place Sunday, October 20, from 11 a.m. till sund ... More >>

Miami's Five Best Eats and Drinks This Weekend: Memorial Day Edition

It's Memorial Day weekend. The "Official Unofficial" start of the summer. Which, in Miami, doesn't mean all that much since most of our days are filled with beach outings (try surfboarding in Minneapolis in January -- it's not working so well)! But still, we have a three day weekend to look forward ... More >>

The Flora-Bama Bar: Mullet-Tossing, Bushwhackers and Bikini Contests

Unlike the rest of America, in Florida, you have go north to go south. More redneck than refined, the rest of the Sunshine State is full of pick-up trucks, Southern twangs and country music. Head north just a few hundred miles, and it's hard to imagine there's a place called Miami. And despite any ... More >>

Unexpected Arias

Palo, Roofless Records, Others at Miami New Times' Artopia 2013, February 28

Artopia 2013: How to Party With Palo!, Roofless Records, and Miss Elaine Lancaster

Come for the pretentious, arty stuff. Stay for the booze, Afro-Cuban funk, experimental freakouts, sports jams, drag queens, break dancing, and, uh, more booze. Once a year, New Times throws a big, ostensibly highbrow bash called Artopia. And officially, it's "an eclectic touch of art, culture, fa ... More >>

Mugshots Friday: The Pineapple Shirt Code and Work-Appropriate Face Tattoos

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>

Rick Ross, John McAfee, and Jeffrey Loria in 2013

What Will Become Of John McAfee, Marco Rubio and Jeffrey Loria?

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke makes his predictions for the new year. What will happen in 2013 to capture people's attention? Who will do something to make us s ... More >>

World Music Awards Canceled, Exposed as a Con, Blaming "Visa Issues," Newtown Shooting

The World Music Awards just got canceled. Only two days before the scheduled 2012 edition at Marlins Park, WMA organizers have nixed the show, blaming "visa issues" and -- absurdly -- the Newtown shooting. "We are sorry for any inconvenience," the official statement reads, "but this decision had t ... More >>

Staycation Central

Whiskey Joe's Bar & Grill Brings Key West to Key Biscayne

There are actually more beach-themed bars that play Jimmy Buffet and Bob Marley in Manhattan than in Miami. Which is a sincere shame because sometimes you just want to put on your best flip flops, drink a rum punch, and enjoy the warm sun and salt-tinged breezes.Parrotheads rejoice, because Whiskey ... More >>

New Miami Marlins Theme Song is Just Horrible

​Who the hell is in charge of the Miami Marlins' latest creative decisions? First we got that logo and the uniforms. Then came that home run "thing." Now we've got what appears to be a brand new theme song that is predictably horrible. It sounds like a theme song for a pleasure cruise or a flea ma ... More >>

The Twelve Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

​Wow, where'd the week go? We were having so much fun blogging that we nearly forgot about the weekend. Turns out, there's a lot of cool shit going on. Did you know that Miami's one of the few places where marathons are run in the winter? No, we're serious. Just wait till Sunday, you'll see. Oh, ... More >>

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Ten Essential Tracks for Shooting Tequila

"I don't vomit often. But when I do, I've been drinking tequila. Stay thirsty, my friends."​Happy Cinco de Mayo, chingones! Pardon our French -- er, Mexican -- but tequila does that to you. Anyway, that fifth day of May is upon us once again. And you know what that means ... It's time to boister ... More >>

A look ahead: predicting 2011 headlines

A Look Ahead: Riptide Predicts 2011's Biggest Stories

​Any two-bit news rag can tell you what happened yesterday. But it takes a truly great publication -- one advertising Asian table massages in its back pages -- to predict the future. We donned our swami's cap and stared long and hard at our 2011 calendar until we started hallucinating. This is wh ... More >>

Mugshots Friday: Santa Got Booked In Miami

​Have you spent the last week wondering why that plate of cookies went untouched and your stocking was bereft of swag? No, it's not because Santa found out about your massive Medicare fraud; Ol' Saint Nick's just got his own problems with Johnny Law. For Mugshot Friday's very special holiday week, ... More >>

Come Crash the New Times' Miami Music Festival VIP Party

Lil Daggers are total VIPs.​We here at New Times are gonna be hosting a VIP party to help launch the 2010 edition of the Miami Music Festival. And yeah, we want all our friends to come, including you, J-Lo, and Jimmy Buffett. The bad news: Part of the night (9 to 11 p.m.) will be invitation-only ... More >>

Top 5 Food References In Pop/Rock Music

The Commander's mama is cookin' hammy.​First, let's get to the shocking stuff: Riock and rollers, it seems, never go near food (insert your own drug joke here). Bob Dylan has scribed hundreds of songs, but never mentions sitting down for a meal. Ditto the Rolling Stones, Led Zep, Pink Floyd ("Brow ... More >>

Top 5 Food References In Pop/Rock Music

The Commander's mama is busy cookin' hammy​First let's get to the shocking part of this post: Rock 'n rollers evidently never go near food (insert your own drug joke here). Bob Dylan has scribed hundreds of songs, but never mentions sitting down for a meal. Ditto the Rolling Stones, Led Zep, Pink ... More >>

Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

Miami 2009: Seven signs the End Times are nigh

Dolphins Playoff Hopes Still Marginally Alive, But at Least '72 Remains Unmatched

​Despite NBCMiami's sort of brilliant "Fin" headline this morning, the Dolphins playoffs hopes are still alive. Well, not really alive. Their playoff hopes are more zombie-like. It's as if the Dolphins are in a cheesy horror movie where the undead have taken over and bitten the Fins, and the team ... More >>

Dolphins vs Falcons: Let's All Remain Calm and Optimistic

​Miami Dolphins @ Atlanta Falcons, Sunday at 1pm on CBS4. Not to say the Dolphins don't have some well deserved swagger, but let's be real, out of all the defending divisional champs the Fins fan's optimism might be the most muted. We all knew last year's historic turn around season was ... More >>

Which Florida Celebrities Will Get a Piece of the Dolphins Next?

In case you missed it, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross made it official this morning: The Fins are indeed waging the biggest celebrity love-fest in South Florida this side of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami.via Wikimedia CommonsAre you ready for some mustache?​The Dolphins have lost 20 percent o ... More >>

Book Fair Announces Author List

WikicommonsHunter S. Thompson at the 1988 Fair​Artists have Basel. Filmmakers have MIFF. Geniuses have the Book Fair.My inner nerd (well, maybe it's outer, too...) did the running man this morning when it saw PR-extraordinaire Lisa Palley's email announcing the Author List for the 2009 Miami Book ... More >>

Which of These Miami Dolphins Songs Is More Embarrassing?

In hip-hop, Jay-Z is God, and since he declared Auto-Tune dead, we've hoped that would put a swift end to the career of professional Auto-Tune abuser T-Pain. (I will never understand how a musical technique pioneered by Cher became "gangsta.") Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross didn't get th ... More >>

Dolphins Celebrity News Conference Fetish Continues with Marc Anthony

Another week has passed from this Earth, and another mysterious email announcing a Dolphins news conference featuring a popular musician has landed in Riptide's inbox.via Wikimedia CommonsWe can only pray that Marc Anthony will not be singing "Fins" in Spanish.First came Jimmy Buffett. We all know h ... More >>

Drink and Draw Debuts at the News Lounge

WikicommonsWhen we get drunk over here at the New Times, we tend to throw on some Jimmy Buffett and reminisce about the good ole' newspaper days of the late 1760's, when reading the "pape" was not only expected, it was required by Divine Order of the King. (Damn, I miss the monarchy...)But when the ... More >>

Give Thanks -- You Almost Got Stuck Rooting for the Florida Flamingos

All team names are far from created equal. Some basic math: Celtics > Raptors; Red Sox > Devil Rays; Colts > Texans; and everyone on a field, rink, or pitch outside of Anaheim laughed their asses off at the Mighty Ducks until they wised up and lost the Disney adjective a few years ago.via Wikimedia ... More >>

This Ain't No Little Feat

Neologism Friday

Harvard UniversityJump the Shark - Used to describe the moment when a TV show or other cultural phenomenon has outlived its usefulness or creative steam, e.g. Phil Hartman's death stalling NewsRadio.Land it in the Hudson - A sentiment of encouragement, usually given in the midst of a crisis, based o ... More >>

A Stadiums Worth of Landshark Lager Would Not Numb The Pain Caused By Father Cutié

Shocking horrible news this week that is tearing apart Miami at it's very seems: a grown man touched a lady once, and it was photographed! The horror! Not just any man of course, but a celebrity priest. First, a Mexican tabloid released photos of Father Cutié frolicking on a beach with a lady. With ... More >>

Jimmy Buffett Kills a Man with 'Margaritaville'

The patron saint of Key West killed a man last night. Police in Steamboat Springs, Colorado say two men snapped and beat a 37-year-old Army sergeant to death after he played Jimmy Buffett's insufferable classic on the jukebox. A Steamboat Springs police official told the Denver Post that Sgt. 1st ... More >>

Michael Dixon Band

Chip off the Old Coral Rock

The Feder men bring their special sound to the Bay Jam.

Titanic Brewery

Awesome Cool Dudes

Bonnie Prince Billy

Summer in the Southeast (Sea Note)

This Week's Day by Day Picks

Farewell, My Lovely 1800

It was a place where you drank Scotch with your sirloin, where journalists, politicians, and other practitioners of the dark arts felt at home

Saint Juke

It's a wonderful life at Fox's

Side Dish

Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

Rotations

Calendar for the week

Reverb

Program Notes

Women on the Verge of a Breakthrough

On-stage and behind the scenes, a diverse and determined group is carving off a big piece of the local rock

Swelter