Subject:

Jimmy Buffett

  • Blogs

    March 14, 2012

    New Miami Marlins Theme Song is Just Horrible

    ​Who the hell is in charge of the Miami Marlins' latest creative decisions? First we got that logo and the uniforms. Then came that home run "thing." Now we've got what appears to be a brand new theme song that is predictably horrible. It sounds like a theme song for a pleasure cruise or a flea ma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2012

    The Twelve Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

    ​Wow, where'd the week go? We were having so much fun blogging that we nearly forgot about the weekend. Turns out, there's a lot of cool shit going on. Did you know that Miami's one of the few places where marathons are run in the winter? No, we're serious. Just wait till Sunday, you'll see. Oh, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2011

    Happy Cinco de Mayo! Ten Essential Tracks for Shooting Tequila

    "I don't vomit often. But when I do, I've been drinking tequila. Stay thirsty, my friends."​Happy Cinco de Mayo, chingones! Pardon our French -- er, Mexican -- but tequila does that to you. Anyway, that fifth day of May is upon us once again. And you know what that means ... It's time to boister ... More >>

  • News

    January 6, 2011

    A look ahead: predicting 2011 headlines

    "I don't vomit often. But when I do, I've been drinking tequila. Stay thirsty, my friends."​Happy Cinco de Mayo, chingones! Pardon our French -- er, Mexican -- but tequila does that to you. Anyway, that fifth day of May is upon us once again. And you know what that means ... It's time to boister ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    A Look Ahead: Riptide Predicts 2011's Biggest Stories

    ​Any two-bit news rag can tell you what happened yesterday. But it takes a truly great publication -- one advertising Asian table massages in its back pages -- to predict the future. We donned our swami's cap and stared long and hard at our 2011 calendar until we started hallucinating. This is wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2010

    Mugshots Friday: Santa Got Booked In Miami

    ​Have you spent the last week wondering why that plate of cookies went untouched and your stocking was bereft of swag? No, it's not because Santa found out about your massive Medicare fraud; Ol' Saint Nick's just got his own problems with Johnny Law. For Mugshot Friday's very special holiday week, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Come Crash the New Times' Miami Music Festival VIP Party

    Lil Daggers are total VIPs.​We here at New Times are gonna be hosting a VIP party to help launch the 2010 edition of the Miami Music Festival. And yeah, we want all our friends to come, including you, J-Lo, and Jimmy Buffett. The bad news: Part of the night (9 to 11 p.m.) will be invitation-only ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2010

    Top 5 Food References In Pop/Rock Music

    The Commander's mama is cookin' hammy.​First, let's get to the shocking stuff: Riock and rollers, it seems, never go near food (insert your own drug joke here). Bob Dylan has scribed hundreds of songs, but never mentions sitting down for a meal. Ditto the Rolling Stones, Led Zep, Pink Floyd ("Brow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2010

    Top 5 Food References In Pop/Rock Music

    The Commander's mama is busy cookin' hammy​First let's get to the shocking part of this post: Rock 'n rollers evidently never go near food (insert your own drug joke here). Bob Dylan has scribed hundreds of songs, but never mentions sitting down for a meal. Ditto the Rolling Stones, Led Zep, Pink ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2010

    Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

    Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

  • News

    April 29, 2010

    Marlins rip out the Teal Monster to make a few bucks

    Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2010

    Can The Marlins Sink Any Lower To Make A Buck? Yes They Can!

    Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>

  • News

    December 31, 2009

    Miami 2009: Seven signs the End Times are nigh

    Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2009

    Dolphins Playoff Hopes Still Marginally Alive, But at Least '72 Remains Unmatched

    ​Despite NBCMiami's sort of brilliant "Fin" headline this morning, the Dolphins playoffs hopes are still alive. Well, not really alive. Their playoff hopes are more zombie-like. It's as if the Dolphins are in a cheesy horror movie where the undead have taken over and bitten the Fins, and the team ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 11, 2009

    Dolphins vs Falcons: Let's All Remain Calm and Optimistic

    ​Miami Dolphins @ Atlanta Falcons, Sunday at 1pm on CBS4. Not to say the Dolphins don't have some well deserved swagger, but let's be real, out of all the defending divisional champs the Fins fan's optimism might be the most muted. We all knew last year's historic turn around season was ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2009

    Which Florida Celebrities Will Get a Piece of the Dolphins Next?

    In case you missed it, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross made it official this morning: The Fins are indeed waging the biggest celebrity love-fest in South Florida this side of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami.via Wikimedia CommonsAre you ready for some mustache?​The Dolphins have lost 20 percent o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2009

    Book Fair Announces Author List

    WikicommonsHunter S. Thompson at the 1988 Fair​Artists have Basel. Filmmakers have MIFF. Geniuses have the Book Fair.My inner nerd (well, maybe it's outer, too...) did the running man this morning when it saw PR-extraordinaire Lisa Palley's email announcing the Author List for the 2009 Miami Book ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2009

    Which of These Miami Dolphins Songs Is More Embarrassing?

    In hip-hop, Jay-Z is God, and since he declared Auto-Tune dead, we've hoped that would put a swift end to the career of professional Auto-Tune abuser T-Pain. (I will never understand how a musical technique pioneered by Cher became "gangsta.") Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross didn't get th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2009

    Dolphins Celebrity News Conference Fetish Continues with Marc Anthony

    Another week has passed from this Earth, and another mysterious email announcing a Dolphins news conference featuring a popular musician has landed in Riptide's inbox.via Wikimedia CommonsWe can only pray that Marc Anthony will not be singing "Fins" in Spanish.First came Jimmy Buffett. We all know h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2009

    Drink and Draw Debuts at the News Lounge

    WikicommonsWhen we get drunk over here at the New Times, we tend to throw on some Jimmy Buffett and reminisce about the good ole' newspaper days of the late 1760's, when reading the "pape" was not only expected, it was required by Divine Order of the King. (Damn, I miss the monarchy...)But when the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2009

    The Week That Was: Alberto Cutié Married the Cat Killer

    via FFFFOUNRiptide had an insane week, and in case you missed anything, here are all the highlights. Perhaps you can use them to make small talk with your dad on Father's day.  18 year-old Tyler Weinman was arrested and charged with being the notorious cat killer. He may have ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2009

    Give Thanks -- You Almost Got Stuck Rooting for the Florida Flamingos

    All team names are far from created equal. Some basic math: Celtics > Raptors; Red Sox > Devil Rays; Colts > Texans; and everyone on a field, rink, or pitch outside of Anaheim laughed their asses off at the Mighty Ducks until they wised up and lost the Disney adjective a few years ago.via Wikimedia ... More >>

  • Calendar

    June 4, 2009

    This Ain't No Little Feat

    All team names are far from created equal. Some basic math: Celtics > Raptors; Red Sox > Devil Rays; Colts > Texans; and everyone on a field, rink, or pitch outside of Anaheim laughed their asses off at the Mighty Ducks until they wised up and lost the Disney adjective a few years ago.via Wikimedia ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2009

    Neologism Friday

    Harvard UniversityJump the Shark - Used to describe the moment when a TV show or other cultural phenomenon has outlived its usefulness or creative steam, e.g. Phil Hartman's death stalling NewsRadio.Land it in the Hudson - A sentiment of encouragement, usually given in the midst of a crisis, based o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2009

    A Stadiums Worth of Landshark Lager Would Not Numb The Pain Caused By Father Cutié

    Shocking horrible news this week that is tearing apart Miami at it's very seems: a grown man touched a lady once, and it was photographed! The horror! Not just any man of course, but a celebrity priest. First, a Mexican tabloid released photos of Father Cutié frolicking on a beach with a lady. With ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2009

    Jimmy Buffett Kills a Man with 'Margaritaville'

    The patron saint of Key West killed a man last night. Police in Steamboat Springs, Colorado say two men snapped and beat a 37-year-old Army sergeant to death after he played Jimmy Buffett's insufferable classic on the jukebox. A Steamboat Springs police official told the Denver Post that Sgt. 1st ... More >>

  • News

    September 11, 2008

    It's Talk Like a Pirate Day

    Well, shiver me timbers.

  • Music

    April 17, 2008

    Michael Dixon Band

    Well, shiver me timbers.

  • Calendar

    April 3, 2008

    Chip off the Old Coral Rock

    The Feder men bring their special sound to the Bay Jam.

  • Music

    November 8, 2007

    Titanic Brewery

    The Feder men bring their special sound to the Bay Jam.

  • Dining

    July 5, 2007

    Southernmost City Beautiful

    By the Gables, a taste of the City Whatever

  • Music

    July 13, 2006

    Awesome Cool Dudes

    By the Gables, a taste of the City Whatever

  • Music

    November 17, 2005

    Bonnie Prince Billy

    Summer in the Southeast (Sea Note)

  • Calendar

    April 29, 2004

    This Week's Day by Day Picks

    Summer in the Southeast (Sea Note)

  • Calendar

    February 19, 2004

    Rhyme Time

    Writer gets a jazz-filled tribute

  • News

    January 17, 2002

    Farewell, My Lovely 1800

    It was a place where you drank Scotch with your sirloin, where journalists, politicians, and other practitioners of the dark arts felt at home

  • Music

    March 1, 2001

    Folk to Fauxk

    Tune-Me-Music, 1999 A roundup of reviews inspired by the South Florida Folk Festival

  • Music

    December 28, 2000

    Saint Juke

    It's a wonderful life at Fox's

  • Dining

    August 31, 2000

    Side Dish

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • Music

    July 30, 1998

    Rotations

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • Music

    June 19, 1997

    HellFest

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • Calendar

    April 17, 1997

    Calendar for the week

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • News

    March 21, 1996

    Reverb

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • News

    February 2, 1995

    Swelter 42

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • News

    March 16, 1994

    Program Notes

    Not to beat a dead Chihuahua, but ...

  • Music

    July 21, 1993

    The Theory of Eganomics

    No matter its inspiration, the music pays off for Jeff Egan

  • News

    July 7, 1993

    Women on the Verge of a Breakthrough

    On-stage and behind the scenes, a diverse and determined group is carving off a big piece of the local rock

  • News

    June 2, 1993

    Leas on Life

    Leas Campbell, the man who ruled Miami's rock scene throughout the Seventies, is bringing it all back home in the Nineties

  • News

    October 7, 1992

    Swelter

    Leas Campbell, the man who ruled Miami's rock scene throughout the Seventies, is bringing it all back home in the Nineties

  • News

    June 5, 1991

    Making Tracks

    Leas Campbell, the man who ruled Miami's rock scene throughout the Seventies, is bringing it all back home in the Nineties

  • More >>
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