[Editor's Note: In his new column, Serrano Time, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes, because your socks are about to be blown off.] History: Katy Perry was born in 1984, except back then people called her "Katy Hudson" because that's her re ... More >>
By its organizers' own assessment, the Gathering of the Juggalos is an event filled with the most misunderstood people of all time. Juggalos are generally looked down upon by "normal" members of society, thought of as losers, degenerates or outright criminals--even most recently as a full-fledged ga ... More >>
With a week to go before the presidential election, Florida is by far the largest swing state still up for grabs. A new CNN poll this morning finds Romney and Obama in a virtual tie for the Sunshine State's 29 electoral votes. So who in Florida will break the deadlock and pick our next president? Wi ... More >>
We've said it before and, goddamn it, and we'll say it again: Today's rappers are softer than baby thighs. Biggie and Pac were actual gangbangers. Ol' Dirty Bastard freebased so much crack cocaine that he changed his name from Big Baby Jesus to Dirt McGirt to Osirus and back again. And every month, ... More >>
Back in 2010, José Luis de Jésus Miranda, leader of a Miami-Dade-based cult and the self described Antichrist, told us that the world was going to end on July 1st, 2012. Apparently the man who has a "666" tattoo on his forearm and openly refers to himself as "The Man Christ Jesus" has reworked hi ... More >>
Like water draining from a home plate backstop aquarium, the little respect we have left for the Florida Miami Marlins continues to dwindle. Enraging fans has seemingly become a common practice among the organization's front office--robbing Miami-Dade County taxpayers, a "horrifying" home run s ... More >>
Direct from the Holy Land via SoFla.Christmas. To some, it represents the birth of Jesus Christ, the immaculately conceived love child of a Galilean woman named Mary and a theistic being referred to as God. But for 18 Jewish gals aged 17 to 26 from the South Florida metropolitan area, December ... More >>
Show your devotion to the Boys.For the last 68 days, local rock messiahs Jacuzzi Boys have been Glazin' across nation, delivering the good word to 35 bastions of unfettered heathenism from New Orleans to Austin, Detroit, Brooklyn, Nashville, and beyond. But now, having converted a sufficient nu ... More >>
Photo by Ian WitlenHalloween's known as a holiday for freaks. Crazy shit goes down, people lose their inhibitions and let loose. For one night every year, you can be whomever you want -- be it a werewolf, skinhead, or the Virgin Mary -- and no one's going to judge you for it. That was the vibe ... More >>
Via Maxim MagazineJess, don't ever get your boobs reduced. They're beautiful.Jessica Simpson's boobs are huge. And at one point, so was her career. But as of late, the 31-year old pop star's celebrity status has been reduced to headlining Chili Cook Offs and PBS Christmas specials--a far cry fr ... More >>
Yesterday, jollily bearded fellow Edmund Barksdale set the AP's Poop Alert Newswire (TM) ablaze with his bizarre tale of getting Tasered while taking a dump in a Destin park. Yet he's far from the first fecal-matter felon to snag Florida headlines.If George Orwell put thoughtcrime on the map, the ... More >>
The BET Awards were held this past Sunday and some really confusing, awkward shit went down in the middle of granting the Viewer's Choice Award. Some fans were invited onstage to announce this year's winner, which at first was Chris Brown. But only a few seconds after Brown received the award f ... More >>
Photo by Ian WitlenDeadmau5 performing at the main stage at Ultra Music Festival.It's over. Jesus Christ! It's over! We are sad and glad at the same time. Sad because we have to wait another year for the next Ultra Music Festival. Glad because our city can return to some kind of normalcy, and we ... More >>
Fabio DestroyioSanta shits out Jesus for Christmas.Once a year at the end of December Christmas takes over everything. See the above flyer of Santa Clause shitting out a full grown Jesus Christ doing the rock and roll sign as he exits Santa's asshole to see how some people feel about it.This Frid ... More >>
Before dying of a heroin overdose in 1993 (see video above), GG Allin's final tour was supported by The Murder Junkies. The Murder Junkies were his last and best backing band. They featured his Hitler mustachioed brother Merle on bass, and the legendary Dino Sex on drums. They will be perfo ... More >>
"Why is George Burgess still the county manager when he can't manage the budget worth a sh**?"
"He's nothing but a corrupt criminal. Hopefully, God will change him when he's sitting in prison and realizes what he's done."
We received a voicemail from an even-toned, religiously minded reader of this week's feature, "Holy Hustler." The story, which focuses on embattled Liberty City pastor Vincent Spann, had our reader weighing the good and bad aspects of the preacher -- and returning a scathing verdict:I was reading yo ... More >>
Victor-Hugo Vaca has a creative way of getting his point across. To protest the nastiness of bureaucracy, the wayward, fiercely opinionated, Naval officer-turned-artist has tried everything from running for US President to hanging four-foot penis paintings across from the VIP section at Art Basil. W ... More >>
Tap Tap's house band. It’s sort of a shame that the most popular Haitian restaurant in Miami is in South Beach rather than, say, Little Haiti. But Moped Whitey’s fear of an unknown ‘hood isn’t the only reason -- although it probably helps -- for Tap Tap’s (819 Fifth Street, Miami Beach; 3 ... More >>
Close down every church so the true church can begin.
The passion of the cut-rate, high-grossing Saw series continues
Soul singer Anthony Hamilton speaks freely of his faith and his record company woes
Preach. Convert. Repeat.
Anybody got a good anagram for crap?
Readers get their war on
Duking it out over baby Jesus on Bay Harbor Islands
An anti-abortion crusader faces manslaughter charges for the accidental death of a child
Ways & Means (Cooking Vinyl/spinART)
Fervent days, absurd dramatics
Iraq and roll don't go together well when rockers protest
Skid Row's Sebastian Bach takes on the role of that really big superstar, Jesus Christ
Scenes from a splintered city
God's Man in Texas
The world's foremost bloodstain-pattern analysts convene at a local Holiday Inn to trade gore stories and chatter about spatter
Their flocks have multiplied despite past controversy. But can the Revs. Victor Curry and Richard Dunn preach politics?