Subject:

Jesus Christ

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2012

    Miami's Antichrist Cult Says World Will End on June 30

    Back in 2010, José Luis de Jésus Miranda, leader of a Miami-Dade-based cult and the self described Antichrist, told us that the world was going to end on July 1st, 2012. Apparently the man who has a "666" tattoo on his forearm and openly refers to himself as "The Man Christ Jesus" has reworked hi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2012

    Religious Rock Stars: Five Catholic Acts for Ash Wednesday

    MojiCollo, Deviant Art​Happy Ash Wednesday, y'all! Christians are just 46 days away from the celebration of their 1,979th Easter, commemorating the day when Jesus Christ allegedly resurrected from the dead and escaped his post-crucifixion resting place. The countdown begins ceremoniously with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2012

    World's Weirdest Toasters: Jesus on Bread, Cook a Whole Breakfast, and Play the Radio

    ​The world of toasters just got a little weirder. Research firm IDC released a report predicting that 2012 will be the year when companies start making kitchen appliances that can Tweet and send us notifications via the web; this will include toasters.Until that happens, it might seem we must sett ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 15, 2011

    Fresh, Aged Cheese

    ​The world of toasters just got a little weirder. Research firm IDC released a report predicting that 2012 will be the year when companies start making kitchen appliances that can Tweet and send us notifications via the web; this will include toasters.Until that happens, it might seem we must sett ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2011

    Jesus Christ's Nikes, Uncle Six Eyes, and Old School Txt Spk at Aqua Art Fair

    ​Hotel art typically sucks--at least at the joints we've stayed at. Crap watercolored landscapes, generic photographs of generic stuff like clouds and hills, and tacky vases on formica nightstands often make us want to vomit. However there's one hotel that really knows art--the Aqua. And each ye ... More >>

  • Music

    November 24, 2011

    Jacuzzi Boys' homecoming show at Churchill's Pub November 26

    ​Hotel art typically sucks--at least at the joints we've stayed at. Crap watercolored landscapes, generic photographs of generic stuff like clouds and hills, and tacky vases on formica nightstands often make us want to vomit. However there's one hotel that really knows art--the Aqua. And each ye ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2011

    Three Devotional Gifts for the Jacuzzi Boys' Homecoming Show at Churchill's Pub

    Show your devotion to the Boys.​For the last 68 days, local rock messiahs Jacuzzi Boys have been Glazin' across nation, delivering the good word to 35 bastions of unfettered heathenism from New Orleans to Austin, Detroit, Brooklyn, Nashville, and beyond. But now, having converted a sufficient nu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2011

    Six Craziest Moments From Odd Future's Halloween Show in Miami

    Photo by Ian Witlen​Halloween's known as a holiday for freaks. Crazy shit goes down, people lose their inhibitions and let loose. For one night every year, you can be whomever you want -- be it a werewolf, skinhead, or the Virgin Mary -- and no one's going to judge you for it. That was the vibe ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 1, 2011

    Baby Jesus Rocks

    Photo by Ian Witlen​Halloween's known as a holiday for freaks. Crazy shit goes down, people lose their inhibitions and let loose. For one night every year, you can be whomever you want -- be it a werewolf, skinhead, or the Virgin Mary -- and no one's going to judge you for it. That was the vibe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2011

    Christ In The Publix Deli Department

    Lee KleinI'll have some Christ with that bologna please.​​Have you heard this one? A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into the deli section at the South Beach Publix supermarket. As they go to take their numbered tickets from the red dispenser, they see that it is perched atop a rotating disp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2011

    Archbishop Favalora Accused of Turning Miami Archdiocese Into "Corrupt Homosexual Superculture"

    ​Oh, Jesus Christ. Gawker has a whopper of a story today accusing Archbishop Emeritus John C. Favalora of running the Miami Archdiocese of the Catholic Church like some sort of gay sex mafia.The report, penned by former New Times contributor and theater critic Brandon K. Thorp, gathers information ... More >>

  • News

    May 26, 2011

    Miami missed the rapture for many sinful reasons

    ​Oh, Jesus Christ. Gawker has a whopper of a story today accusing Archbishop Emeritus John C. Favalora of running the Miami Archdiocese of the Catholic Church like some sort of gay sex mafia.The report, penned by former New Times contributor and theater critic Brandon K. Thorp, gathers information ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 6, 2011

    Return of the King

    ​Oh, Jesus Christ. Gawker has a whopper of a story today accusing Archbishop Emeritus John C. Favalora of running the Miami Archdiocese of the Catholic Church like some sort of gay sex mafia.The report, penned by former New Times contributor and theater critic Brandon K. Thorp, gathers information ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2010

    State Senator Wants to Make "Merry Christmas" the Official Greeting of Florida on December 25

    ​Well, the holidays survived yet another "war on Christmas" and no lives seemed to be lost or adversely effected by people saying "happy holidays" or other secular greetings instead of "Merry Christmas," but up in Tallahassee the fight may carry on. In a last minute volley, state Senator Gary Sipl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 5, 2010

    Rent Boy Customer Dr. George Rekers' Damage Control: Jesus Hung Out with Prostitutes Too

    Dr. George A. Rekers says that Jesus hung out with prostitutes too.​Yesterday, a report from New Times contributors Penn Bullock and Brandon K. Thorp went up bringing to light the fact that Dr. George Rekers, a leading "scientific" voice in the anti-gay movement, had hired a male prostitute who ad ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 25, 2009

    Silicon Beach: Tiger Woods Ranks Higher Than Jesus Christ and Santa Claus on Google

    Image via Nevada Tumbleweed's Flickr/CC 2.0​Tiger Woods will probably upstage Jesus Christ at every Christmas church sermon this holiday season, if we were to use Google as a gauge of human inquiry. At approximately 7 p.m. EST on Christmas Eve, the world golf champion garnered 50,000,000 return re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2009

    Turrón, Latin American Christmas Snack Tradition

    ​Every year, the world turrón consortium battles Baby Jesus for Christmas supremacy. The nutty nougat bars always lose to the son of God, but major Christmas inroads have been made by the sometimes chewy, sometimes crunchy sweet of 15th century Spanish origin.Turrón is celebrated at Christmastim ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2009

    Highlights From Pulse Art Fair 2009

    This work was made entirely of split color pencils.​If you're not afraid of a little color, and we mean that in almost all senses of the word, Pulse Art Fair was for you. With a strong commitment to new works and contemporary artists, Pulse gives you a window into the mind of young artists. And wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2009

    Iggy Pop Needs A Manssiere

    Banana Republican kicked off his Art Basel festivities at the opening of Primary Flight's Blue Francisco AlvaradoIggy Pop's man boobs attract a crowd.Print For Space inside Art Center South Florida on Lincoln Road. Mighty impressive display of street inspired art I must say, especially photogra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 24, 2009

    Religious Cakes for April -- From Jesus Christ to Mazel Tov

    Nothin' gets an Easter party started like biting into a frosty slice of Big Baby Jesus; and a seder ain't a seder till you're cutting into a prayer shawl (see next page for image).Sweet Art by Lucia, a four-branch company and winner of our Best Cake Artist for 2000, amazes with their creations. Pho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2008

    Year in Review: Best Covers of 2008

    Masochistic Jesus Christ, fetish performers, Curious George, Perez Hilton and a carefully disguised Che Guevara. What do they all have in common? They all graced the New Times' cover this year. Click here to view the Best Covers of 2008 as chosen by us, the New Times staff.-- Jose D. Duran

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2008

    Last Night: David LaChapelle at Wolfgang Roth Gallery

    They're out there: hoity-toity connoisseurs just waiting to tell you that fashion photographers aren't real artists. They'll say, "Bla, bla, bla isn't fine art. Bla, bla, bla isn't thought-provoking... Bla." Then they'll take a sip of free champgne from a plastic cup and check their Blackberries wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2008

    Trading Turkey for Crack

    If the Kramer vs. Kramer movie script had been written in finger paint and then dunked in a vile of LSD, it would be a lot like Victor-Hugo Vaca's online graphic novel Crackhead Jesus. In the story, the Miami artist satirizes his own courtroom experiences to point out the nastiness of the justic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2008

    Bill Maher Zings Local Jesus 2.0

    If the Kramer vs. Kramer movie script had been written in finger paint and then dunked in a vile of LSD, it would be a lot like Victor-Hugo Vaca's online graphic novel Crackhead Jesus. In the story, the Miami artist satirizes his own courtroom experiences to point out the nastiness of the justic ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 20, 2008

    Eggs on ’Roids

    No offense, J.C., but we like the Easter Bunny too.

  • Calendar

    March 6, 2008

    Wacky Tobaccy

    Ain’t nothing wrong with it in this Key West musical.

  • Calendar

    April 5, 2007

    Sunday’s Best

    Time to get your Easter grub on

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2007

    What Happened to the Jesus Defense?

    Time to get your Easter grub on

  • Music

    August 31, 2006

    Papal Sugar

    The Smoking Popes return eight years later

  • News

    June 15, 2006

    Sidewalk Salvation

    Preach. Convert. Repeat.

  • Music

    March 23, 2006

    Tres Chicas

    Bloom, Red & the Ordinary Girl (Yep Roc)

  • News

    March 16, 2006

    Letters from the Issue of March 16, 2006

    "It's time to clean house. Doesn't Miami deserve better?"

  • News

    March 9, 2006

    Letters from the Issue of March 9, 2006

    "It could have been Glenlivet or urine. So who can say?”

  • News

    February 23, 2006

    Letters from the Issue of February 23, 2006

    I am very proud to serve this diverse city

  • News

    February 16, 2006

    Letters from the Issue of February 16, 2006

    Everything about this seems a bit hypocritical

  • Music

    February 9, 2006

    Loose Fur

    "The Ruling Class" (Drag City)

  • News

    February 9, 2006

    Jesus Redux

    They're waging a war on organized religion, they bring in millions of dollars, and defectors say they're a cult

  • Film

    January 5, 2006

    Jesus Saves

    Sarah Silverman speaks the unspeakable. And funny? Oh hell, yes

  • Culture

    December 29, 2005

    Ideological Activists

    Take a tour through Hardcore's sewer of softcore dementia

  • News

    December 8, 2005

    Bah, Humbug

    Duking it out over baby Jesus on Bay Harbor Islands

  • News

    March 3, 2005

    The Drowned and the Saved

    An anti-abortion crusader faces manslaughter charges for the accidental death of a child

  • Year End

    December 23, 2004

    Gore Wins! The Year in Carnage

    An anti-abortion crusader faces manslaughter charges for the accidental death of a child

  • Year End

    December 23, 2004

    The Gospel According to Mel

    An anti-abortion crusader faces manslaughter charges for the accidental death of a child

  • Dining

    March 23, 2000

    The Pelican Briefly

    Pelican

  • News

    February 11, 1999

    News of the Weird

    Pelican

  • Music

    December 21, 1995

    Rotations

    Pelican

  • Music

    December 7, 1995

    Rotations

    Pelican

  • Music

    December 22, 1994

    Homegrown for Christmas

    Packages for the mid-decade wrapped in South Florida

  • News

    February 3, 1993

    Swelter

    Packages for the mid-decade wrapped in South Florida

  • News

    January 20, 1993

    The Pastor Past and Present

    Packages for the mid-decade wrapped in South Florida

  • More >>
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