Jeffrey Loria

Mind If I Taste Your Haiti?

Norman Braman Calls Sun Life Plan "Worse Than Marlins" Deal, Pledges To Fight Proposal

Norman Braman told Miami politicians once they were making a mistake giving public money to a wealthy team owner, and now he's speaking up again. Unlike his ultimately losing fight against the new Marlins Park, this time he's pledging to kill any deal to renovate the Dolphins stadium with tax dollar ... More >>

South Beach Wine and Food Festival 2013: The Six Best Events Featuring Miami Chefs

If you haven't purchased your tickets for the South Beach Wine & Food Festival, we suggest breaking out the credit card because many of the more famous events, like Burger Bash, are sold out.Luckily, the four-day long festival is filled with seminars, dinners, and parties -- ensuring there's an ... More >>

Miami's Very Own Christmas Carol... Including Snow You Can Snort

Merry Christmas (Eve) Miami. By now, you are probably sick of crappy carols that bear no resemblance to your lush tropical life. Gold rings make sense. But colly birds? Not so much. And what the f*ck is this es-no that is supposed to be falling everywhere? The only powder we are familiar with is the ... More >>

Miami Marlins Trade Yunel Escobar, Now Have MLB's Lowest Payroll

Yunel Escobar promised to be the strip-mined Miami Marlins' most interesting player next year. The Cuban shortstop had loads of talent, plus an unmatched ability to act incredibly dumb -- like last season, when he was suspended for writing the anti-gay slur "Tu Ere Maricon" on his eyeblack.Well, Esc ... More >>

Report: Marlins Open to Trading Giancarlo Stanton, Too

The Marlins have pretty much traded away every notable player on the roster not named Giancarlo Stanton, and it appears that Jeffrey Loria and his staff might be prepared to let the young slugger go, too. For the right price that is.

Norman Braman's Contributions Dried Up For the Nov. 6 County Commission Run-Offs

After raising nearly a million bucks to unseat four Miami-Dade County Commissioners in the August 14 primary, it seems billionaire auto magnate Norman Braman threw in the towel. According to the last three financial reports for his political action committee Change Miami Dade Now, Braman only chippe ... More >>

Marlins "Aggressively Seeking" Manager to Replace Ozzie Guillen

Is Ozzie Guillen's time in Miami over? It's hard to imagine a more disastrous season for a manager. Not only did the man manage to piss off half of his fan base by declaring his "love" for Fidel Castro, but he also sunk a promising start into a prolonged team meltdown that saw the Fish end up at the ... More >>

Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross Has Donated More Than $100,000 to Romney Campaign

Who is Mitt Romney's biggest fan in the NFL? Apparently it's Dolphins owner Stephen Ross. The billionaire developer has donated over $125,000 to Republican causes this election cycle, including $100,000 to a pro-Romney super PAC.

Incumbent County Commissioners Demolish Norman Braman's Slate UPDATED

Norman Braman was no match for the forces backing Miami-Dade County commissioners Bruno Barreiro, Audrey Edmonson, Barbara Jordan, and Dennis Moss. The billionaire car dealership mogul's slate of Luis Garcia, Alison Austin, Shirley Gibson and Alice Pena produced an epic fail. All four candidates, wh ... More >>

Marlins' Logan Morrison Officially Grossed Out By Public Breastfeeding

Also read: "Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter-in-chief."On Thursday afternoon, Miami Marlins outfielder and social-media savant Logan Morrison saw something at a local Nordstrom's that shocked him to his core. No, not a two-for-one sale on Calvin Klein underwear. He chanced upon a mother breast ... More >>

Reader Mail: The TSA Is a Modern-Day Nazi Goon Squad

Marlins Park: The Roof Is Leaking and the Grass Is Dying

The past few days of rainy weather have been a real test for the new Marlins Park, and the $515 million stadium has not passed with flying colors. The team's management is now scrambling to fix leaks in the 8,000-ton retractable roof and, because that roof has been closed longer than expected, to re ... More >>

Dave Samson Ran By New Times Office, But We Had No Tomatoes To Throw at Him UPDATE

Today is the day Miami Marlins President Dave Samson is running 52 miles in honor of the construction workers who built him and his ex-step-daddy Jeffrey Loria the half-billion dollar ball park paid primarily by Miami-Dade taxpayers. We told readers about Samson's shameless publicity stunt to show o ... More >>

Will Obama Throw Out the First Pitch Tonight? Five Better Ways to Inaugurate Marlins Stadium

Two years ago, Barack Obama threw out the first pitch at the Washington National's stadium to inaugurate the 2010 MLB season. The Marlins haven't announced who will toss out the ceremonial first ball tonight. Could the president come running out of the brand-new bullpen?Today's White House schedule ... More >>

Marlins President David Samson is Going to Run 50 Miles Because He Can

The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>

Florida Business Sues Marlins, Says It Bought Team For $10 Million at Charity Banquet

​Somewhere in Florida there is a business named Omeranz & Landsma whose owner, whoever he or she may be, has just the worst sense of humor in all the Sunshine State. Even worse than Connie Mack's campaign manager!Omeranz's owner attended a charity auction hosted by Marlins president David Sams ... More >>

Miami's Five Worst City and County Managers Who Prove Merrett Stierheim Wrong

Over the weekend, Miami Commissioner Francis Suarez revealed he is entertaining the idea of eliminating the city manager's position in favor of the strong mayor form of government. His proposal, which would require voter approval to change the city charter, makes sense because it gives residents one ... More >>

Forget the Puppy Bowl: Five Animal Showdowns We'd Rather See

​"What's the Puppy Bowl," you reluctantly ask? It's Animal Planet exploiting a bunch of cute puppies and forcing them to play their own brand of football on national television on Super Bowl Sunday. Yes, it's a thing.The fact that people even enjoy rugby's pussy little cousin football at all is su ... More >>

Marlins Will Outbid Everyone to Land Cuban Defector Yoennis Cespedes

​Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>

Miami New Times' predictions for 2012

Jose Reyes Could Become the Highest Paid Marlin in History, but It Might Not Be Enough

​According to a report from Fox Sports, the Marlins have extended a six-year contract to Jose Reyes worth $90 million. That would make him far and away the highest paid player in the franchise's history, and if true is an indication that owner Jeffrey Loria really is willing to put his money where ... More >>

Occupy Miami: County hall isn't the only Miami institution that needs protesting

Occupy Miami Needs to Expand: Five Places Worth Protesting the Crap Out Of

Lead on, Pied Piper. To Star Island!​"Occupy Miami is hidden," one woman randomly complained to us over the phone earlier this week. "No one even knows that they are there!"To be fair, she may have a point. Tucked behind the Stephen P. Clark Government Center like a cozy small-town college tailgat ... More >>

Carlos Gimenez lies already

Florida Marlins and NASCAR Own Our New Mayor Carlos Gimenez

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke, who lost in a bid to become Miami-Dade mayor, says new top man Carlos Gimenez bent over for the Florida Marlins and the ... More >>

County Manager George Burgess Is Resigning

​Hours after voters tossed out the bums (ahem, Carlos Alvarez and the vile Natacha Seijas), County Manager George Burgess got the hint as well. Burgess is set to resign his post today at a 2 p.m. news conference.In memorium, we'll just toss out two things about Burgess: $422,118 (yu ... More >>

Year in review: LeBron rescues Miami

Buju Banton: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustr ... More >>

Kat Stacks: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians, unholiest celebrities, and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustration ... More >>

Lil Wayne's Lyric Book and Five Other Things to Burn With the Koran

MyFoxOrlando.comWhy are we not surprised that Terry Jones is a 'Braveheart' fan?​Gainesville pastor Terry Jones has set off a firestorm by planning "International Burn a Koran Day" for September 11 to protest the "religion of the Devil." As Jones posits on YouTube: "I mean, ask yourself: Have you ... More >>

Florida Marlins Win Two in Series With Baltimore Orioles

Denis BancroftHanley up to bat.​Your Florida Marlins last night finished their interleague series with the Baltimore Orioles. It was a series filled with ups, downs, stranded runners, bullpen implosions, and people getting fired. You know, just a typical week in the wacky world of Florida Marlins ... More >>

The Yankees Are in Town! And They Bring Their Prices With Them

Some of the largest crowds of the season are expected at Land Shark Stadium when the Marlins take on the Yankees this weekend and the Marlins' brass hopes to earn some serious coin. Fans interested in catching a glimpse of a 2003 World Series rematch will be subjected to big ticket price hikes. Acc ... More >>

Val Screen Vies for Commissioner Audrey Edmonson's Seat

Marlins Screw Fans Yet Again

Latino Sluggers

Extra Innings

The game of baseball isn't played against the clock, which is a good thing because Jack McKeon has lots of stories to tell

Letters from the Issue of July 29 - August 4, 2004

Toxic Jock Syndrome

Hank Goldberg offers Miami sports fans more than tired talk-radio shtick; the journalist backs up his on-air diatribes with hard facts and common sense

BEST LOCAL SPORTS COACH

Jack McKeon

Mission Man

Miami's Downtown commissioner is still fighting, and still hopeful of big change