Jeffrey Loria

Everybody’s Doing the Fish

Reader Mail: No One Is Worse Than Jeffrey Loria

Five Sports Owners Worse Than Jeffrey Loria

Norman Braman: "I Honestly Believe Jeffrey Loria Is Getting a Bad Rap"

Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has found an unlikely defender in Norman Braman. Yes, the billionaire auto magnate and former owner of the Philadelphia Eagles may have been the public face of opposition to public financing of Marlins Park, but he is at the end of the day a business man, and he can't hel ... More >>

Five Sports Owners (Maybe) Worse Than Jeffrey Loria

Marlins fans can be forgiven for waking up every morning and thinking, "It can't possibly get any worse than this." The team has the worst record in baseball, the franchise is a rather un-hilarious joke and Loria is less popular than Castro. But oh, it can get worse. The consensus right now is that ... More >>

No One Went To the Marlins Second Game of the Season

At the Marlins' home opener on Monday, commentators threw around words like "respectable" and "surprising" to describe the announced crowd of 34,439 (minus a few troublemaking protestors, of course.) By the season's second game last night, though, the more appropriate adjectives were "embarrassing" ... More >>

Marlins Fans Start White House Petition to Force Out Jeffrey Loria

Breaking news: People want Jeffrey Loria to sell the Marlins. So much so, in fact, that someone has started an official White House petition to pass legislation that would force Loria to sell the team and allow him to get right back to selling artwork full time.

2013 Miami Marlins Lineup: A Position-by-Position Analysis

Take Me Out

Marlins Season Predictions: Hysteria, Huge Loses, and Hugo Chavez Bobble-Head Dolls

Opening day is about hope. Sure, there's beer and hotdogs and warm weather and, um, more beer. But underneath all that, baseball's new beginning is about the effervescent inkling that this year is going to be better than the last.Hope is a four-letter word these days for Marlins fans, however. First ... More >>

The Marlins Are Worth $243 Million More Than They Were Four Years Ago

Jeffrey Loria may try to paint the Miami Marlins as a money drain, but he's certainly getting a big ol' bang for his investment buck. According to new Forbes estimates out today, the Marlins are worth $520 million. That's only 26th in the league, but significantly up from the $360 million the team w ... More >>

New Times Says No to MLB

Why Would Anyone Believe Jeffrey Loria and David Samson About the Marlins' Finances?

As Jeffrey Loria and David Samson go on the offensive this week to try to raise their Miami-area approval ratings above those of the Castro brothers, one big question has gone unanswered: Why on earth would anyone believe either one of these guys when it comes to the Marlins' finances?Yet there they ... More >>

Jose Reyes Claims Jeffery Loria Told Him to Buy a Home in Miami Two Days Before Trading Him

Sure, you might have been mad when the Marlins unloaded almost all of their stars on the Blue Jays, but how do you think the players felt? Jeez, they had to give up living in sunny Miami for frigid Canada.Jose Reyes was none too pleased with Jeffrey Loria after the surprise trade. He claims Loria ou ... More >>

Miami's 2013 Resolutions: Jeffrey Loria Needs to Shut Up, Jeff Ireland Needs to Man Up

Mayan Calendar Predictions vs. Miami Reality

County Commissioner Tells Jeffrey Loria to "Get The Hell Out Of Here"

Three years ago, nine Miami-Dade County Commissioner voted in favor of the Marlins Stadium deal, and to no one's surprise a few of them regret the decision. The Miami Herald's Barry Jackson called up eight of the nine and asked them how they feel about the deal now. Commissioner Javier Souto didn't ... More >>

"I'm Not A Quitter:" Revisiting Jeffrey Loria's Most Hilarious Lies About the "New" Marlins

Jeffrey Loria is a liar. This is well documented. After years of claiming poverty while begging for ballpark handouts, leaked documents showed that, nope, the Marlins were actually one of baseball's most profitable franchises.So why in the name of Conine did anyone believe Loria when he said the new ... More >>

Miami Marlins Keep Lying About Stadium

Jeffrey Loria Loves to Watch Jose Reyes Breathe, Promises Marlins Will Be Better Next Year

The best year in Miami sports is always next year.Sure, the Miami Marlins may have turned a promising start in their new stadium into a full fledged failure, but don't worry Marlins fans, all five of you that are left, owner Jeffrey Loria says the team will be able to compete next year!

The Marlins Gave Up Hanley, but There's Plenty Left to Trade

Marlins Firesale: Four More Creative Ways For Jeffrey Loria To Cash Out On The Team

By the time you read this, your favorite Miami Marlin has probably been sent packing. For the third time in franchise history, a fire sale is raging. The face of the franchise, Hanley Ramirez, is now a Dodger; the last Marlin to throw a no-no, Anibal Sanchez, and the best infielder, Omar Infante, ar ... More >>

Miami Marlins and Dolphins Give Big to Political Action Committees

Miami Marlins, Miami Dolphins Give Big To Political Committees

Life on the field has not gone well for Miami's football and baseball franchises. The Marlins sucked ass during the first half of the season playing inside the team's sparkling new ball park, which was financed with half-a-billion dollars in taxpayer funds. Meanwhile, the Dolphins organization has b ... More >>

Luke's Gospel: Miami Heat Is Way Ahead of Dolphins, Marlins

Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross Can Learn a Lot From Micky Arison

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>

Marlins Tried to Stiff Tax Payers With an $11,000 Wine Bill

Miami-Dade County already coughed up $376 million to help build the new Marlins Park, but now the County government and Marlins brass are in a fight over about $1.7 million in non-construction costs related to the project. The Marlins actually tried to charge the county for a nearly $11,000 bill for ... More >>

Five Cubans Ozzie Guillen Should Praise at His Press Conference Today

Poor Ozzie Guillen. Baseball season just got started and already the Miami Marlins skipper has inserted his foot in his mouth.The controversial Venezuelan born manager had the audacity to praise Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in an upcoming issue of Time magazine and all hell has broken loose in Miami' ... More >>

Miami Marlins Opening Day Cake: Swarovski Crystals and Guava

Sometimes the Publix Bakery just doesn't cut it. Jeffrey Loria, owner of the Miami Marlins, commissioned an opening day cake to celebrate the April 4 inaugural game (in which they lost to the St. Louis Cardinals, by the way). About a month ago, Loria placed a phone call to the good people at Divine ... More >>

Marlins Park: Key Lime Chicken Tacos and Fresh Yogurt

Driving down SW 17th Avenue Wednesday, you couldn't help but notice crowds gathering to christen the Miami Marlins' new stadium. Lingering about their driveways with signs that read "15 dolares" were the first local citizens to benefit from the taxpayer investment."We're expecting this stadium t ... More >>

Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief

LeBron James Steamrolled Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Last Night (Video)

LeBron picks Loria up off the ground, after the bodyslam.​The best part of last night's game wasn't that LeBron James dropped 31 points, or that the Heat crushed Kobe's Lakers without Dwyane Wade. Honestly, the best part wasn't even when LeBron James absolutely pancaked Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey ... More >>

Miami Marlins May Get Their Own Reality TV Show on Showtime

​Given the amount of, shall we say, "strong personalities" that have so far been signed by the Miami Marlins for next season, we almost have to wonder if Jeffrey Loria has been assembling the cast of a guilty pleasure reality TV show or a playoff-caliber team. Turns out he might have been doing bo ... More >>

Miami On the Hook For Millions In New Taxes On Marlins Parking Garages

​When we recently counted down the six most absurd lies about the new Marlins Stadium, fib number one was that politicians were working for taxpayers. Even a casual glance over the deal made it clear: This $550 million stadium was a cripplingly expensive gift from struggling taxpayers to the milli ... More >>

Miami Marlins Real New Uniforms Leaked To Riptide

​Does Jeffrey Loria lie awake at night, in his Britto-decorated pajamas, trying to think of new ways to be disgusting? Tomorrow night--11/11/11!-- the owner of the mediocre baseball collective soon-to-be-formerly known as the Florida Marlins will throw his crowning gala at the new stadium. To com ... More >>

Logan Morrison And His Twitter Demoted As LoMo Rips Marlins For Move

​The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night's loss to the Giants because his batting average has dipped below .250 -- an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped gho ... More >>

Six lies about the Marlins stadium

Jeffrey Loria: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

Five SoFla projects that have snorted our taxes

From 'Cat Killer' Probe to New Marlins Stadium: 5 Biggest Wastes of Taxpayer Money in 2010

We all love baseball, but did we all really have to pay for a new stadium when Marlins owners had plenty of cash on hand?​Anger over public spending is all the rage these days. Unemployment checks? Undeserved. The Obama stimulus plan? An abomination. Now Carlos Alvarez is facing a fierce recall c ... More >>

Sign of the Times

Sign of the Times

Sign of the Times

It's Official: Florida Marlins Screwed Miami-Dade Taxpayers

​Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria and team president Dave Samson have been exposed for the treacherous, no good, low down, lying dogs they are. Sports blog Deadspin got a hold of the Marlins' financial information which shows the team turned a profit the last two years and that the team could h ... More >>

A Golden Ticket

Bling Brothers

Dear Jeffrey Loria: Quit Acting Like a D-Bag and Leave Fredi Alone

Somewhere in a New York penthouse right now, Jeffrey Loria is angrily straightening a Picasso on his wall, swigging a vintage Chianti, and cursing loudly.via Hazboy's flickrWhy wouldn't you fire the best manager in baseball?​His Marlins have missed the playoffs yet again. And Loria has decided it ... More >>

Letters from the Issue of June 18, 2009

"He works full-time, attends FIU, supports a family, writes music, rehearses, and spends time with his ill father."

Letters from the Issue of November 6, 2003

Power to the Pudge!

Get ready for another Marlins dismantling, but this time be prepared