Jeff Ireland

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2014

    Five Questions Heading Into the Dolphins' Last Preseason Game

    The Miami Dolphins complete their preseason schedule tonight against the St.Louis Rams, and a lot of questions still remain. Entering the 2014-15 season, the team wants to change its mediocre ways and get back into the playoffs for the first time still 2010. If that is to happen, a lot of things mus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2014

    Stephen Ross Says GM Will Report to Him; Rumored Finalists Emerge

    Dolphins fans finally got their wish with the recent departure of General Manager Jeff Ireland, and then half of them went into a dramatic frenzy over how the process to replace him was playing out (maybe, at least in some corners, because someone with a vagina was involved). Go figure. Anyway, ow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 13, 2013

    Incognito-Martin: Real Leader Jake Long Wouldn't Have Allowed It

    So Richie Incognito bullied Jonathan Martin. Enough already. It never would have happened had Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland not let Pro Bowl left tackle Jake Long walk in the offseason. The void in leadership that Long's absence created became the monster of Incognito's bullying. Long was th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    Panthers Fire Head Coach Kevin Dineen

    In 2011, Kevin Dineen's first season as the Florida Panthers' head coach, it seemed the team was ready to shake off a decade of sucking. Indeed, the Cats won their first division championship. But Dineen's next season saw the team finish second to last in the league, and now the Panthers are in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2013

    Embattled Dolphins Pull Off 22-20 Victory With Walk-Off Safety

    Holy fucking pumpkin seeds, that was crazy! The Dolphins did the most Dolphins-y thing ever by snatching a victory from the jaws of defeat just as they were setting up to yet again snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. On a 3rd and 10 and with the Bengals backed up against their own goal line, A ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 31, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 4, 2013

    Ravens at Dolphins This Sunday: Four Keys For a Fins Win

    After a humbling loss to the Saints, how will the Dolphins bounce back? What can they do? Who do they want to be? Are they better than what that performance delineated? Are they worse than what their record tells us? The season will answer these questions with unforgiving evidence. The path t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    Dolphins-Colts: Five Things To Watch For

    Unbelievably, the Dolphins won their season opener for the first time since 2007 last Sunday. EHRRR MERR GERRRSH! The defense was stout, Ryan Tannehill seemed to elevate his game (especially on 3\thirdrd downs), Mike Wallace was already being considered as trade bait for his belly-aching postgame an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2013

    Five Things To Watch: Miami Dolphins vs. Cleveland Browns

    Welcome to another Miami Dolphins season, kicking off this Sunday against the Cleveland Browns. Gone is the old logo and uniforms. Gone are many of last seasons players. Enter a lot of expectations for a franchise that has routinely disappointed it's fans over the past decade, or four. Sunday is a f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2013

    Five Questions for the Miami Dolphins as They Head to Training Camp

    Be honest with yourselves, Dolphins fans: After watching two straight ticker-tape parades down Biscayne Boulevard by that other pro team in town, it's gotten harder and harder to get jazzed up for preseason Fins games that basically amount to flag football contests. But this is 2013, and for the fir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Five Players the Dolphins Should Take in Tonight's NFL Draft (and How They'll Screw It Up)

    With the NFL's annual tradition of wealthy, white-haired men selecting young, able-bodied (mostly) black men to perform physical endeavors for comparatively negligible pay aimed at aggrandizing the wealthy men's financial station, we're taking a look at who the Dolphins SHOULD pick -- and how they'l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2013

    Five Free Agents the Miami Dolphins Must Try to Sign

    The NFL's free-agency period begins this Tuesday, March 12, and your Miami Dolphins -- with about $36 million in cap space -- are poised for one of the biggest offseasons in franchise history. Naturally, there's a good chance they'll fuck it up, but here are the five free agents the Dolphins should ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    The Miami Fan Hater's Guide to the Super Bowl

    The Super Bowl is here again and - will you look at that - the Dolphins weren't even close to it again! This is the 29th year in a row since the Dolphins were in the championship round and here we are: Watching two teams better than our own team that is endlessly run by people too incompetent to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2013

    Jets Might Hire Dolphins Assistant GM Brian Gaine as Their New GM, Which Should Work Out Well For Them

    If there was one silver lining to the NFL season for Dolphins fans this year, it was the fact that while our team might have been mediocre at best, at least we weren't the laughing stock the New York Jets became this year.They've fired their General Manager Mike Tannenbaum, and sort of surprisingly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2012

    Dolphins Throttle Jaguars 24-3 As Tannehill, Bush Thrive

    Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Titans Obliterate Dolphins 37-3 for Worst Home Loss Since 1968

    So how good do you feel about Jeff Ireland and the Dolphins' talent level today?Two weeks after a convincing victory over a floundering Jets team, the Dolphins are 4-5 and facing "must win" scenarios for most of their remaining seven games in order to salvage the season after getting completely blow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2012

    Colts' Luck Sets Rookie Passing Record To Beat Dolphins 23-20

    On Friday, we stressed that the Dolphins pass defense needed to show up on Sunday if the team had any hope of taking down the Colts. Clearly, Defensive Coordinator Kevin Coyle needs to start reading our posts along with his morning coffee because the Dolphins pass defense was absolute refried pig-pl ... More >>

  • News

    October 18, 2012
  • Blogs

    October 1, 2012

    Dolphins Fall to Cardinals 24-21 in Second OT Loss In A Row

    For the second week in a row, the Dolphins failed to capitalize on opportunities to close out a game and lost an overtime game they should have won. Given the "Cardiac Cards" moniker Arizona has earned as of late, you had to figure this game would get wild towards the end despite three quarters of r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2012

    Dolphins Lose to Jets 23-20 After Missed Field Goals, Reggie Bush Injury

    There was a time when kicker Dan Carpenter was responsible for the majority of the points the Dolphins scores, and could be relied upon to line up and bang out a field goal -- from seemingly any distance -- with a twirl of his flowing locks. That time is gone now.The Miami Dolphins lost to the New Y ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2012

    Florida Panthers Lay Off Their Mascot Due to NHL Lockout

    Just as soon as it seemed the Florida Panthers had figured out how to not totally suck, the NHL is now in a lockout. Yes, the Panthers won their first divisional championship ever last year, and made it to the playoffs for the first time in 12 years, all with good ol' Stanley C. Panther cheering the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Your Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Drinking Game: Drink the Pain Away

    Sure, things might come together for the Miami Dolphins this year. Ryan Tannehill could quickly develop into a stud. Our offense may surprise. Joe Philbin might reveal himself as a true coaching genius in his first season. The team might make the playoffs. You might win the lottery. The polar ice ca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2012

    Hard Knocks, Episode 2: Chad Johnson's Epic Groin-Kick to Dolphins Fans

    Over the past decade, your Miami Dolphins have resembled a resident of Hiroshima that moved to Nagasaki during World War II to escape the likelihood of bombing. "It's probably much nicer and safer over there," your Dolphins say. Inevitably, they're pretty much screwed either way; it's always an emot ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 26, 2012

    Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross Can Learn a Lot From Micky Arison

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2012

    For Miami Dolphins, Drafting Miami Hurricanes Is Too Little, Too Late

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives an F to the Miami Dolphins and the Miami Hurricanes underclassmen who left school for the NFL draft.As much I've put t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2012

    Dolphins Have "Zero Intentions" of Bringing in Tim Tebow, Thank the Heavens

    I'm starting to think that Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland is more incompetent than he is idiotic. If he was just plain stupid, he'd probably be hot in the chase of Tim Tebow right now, and, well, we told you how we feel about that yesterday. Thankfully, according to reports the Dolphins are g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2012

    Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino

    ​How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 9, 2012

    ESPN on Peyton Manning: "The Dolphins' Chances are Dwindling"

    ​Could Miami be too big of a market for Peyton Manning? ESPN's NFL Insider Adam Schefter, citing several "sources," says that the media frenzy that greeted Manning as he arrived in South Florida may have scared him off. Schefter suggests that like Jim Harbaugh and Jeff Fisher before him, Manning m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 24, 2012

    In Most Obvious Statement Ever, Jeff Ireland Says Dolphins Need a QB Upgrade

    ​In remarks to the media today, Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland said, "We need a quarterback that can get us over the hump." Though he praised Matt Moore's solid and reliable mediocrity, he said the Dolphins "have to do better."Ireland is clearly a man with a singular vision and deep k ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2012

    Dolphins to Interview Jeff Fisher, Possibly Let Go of GM Jeff Ireland

    With John Gruden and Bill Cowher expected to stay off the NFL sidelines for at least another season, that leaves Jeff Fisher as just about the only experienced and somewhat proven former head coach up for grabs this offseason, and the Dolphins are expected to interview the former Tennessee Titans co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2011

    Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day

    Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

    ​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Jason Taylor Returns to Miami Dolphins, Again

    ​Football's greatest on-again, off-again team-player love affair is officially back on. Jason Taylor is coming back to the Miami Dolphins for his third stint. The 36-year-old is expected to fill the team's need for a depth pass rusher. So does this mean he's officially the most popular guy on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 29, 2011

    QB Matt Moore Signs Two-Year Deal With Dolphins

    ​Well, that didn't take long. According to the Oregonian, quarterback Matt Moore has signed a two-year deal with the Miami Dolphins. This pretty much ends any speculation that the Fins would sign a proven QB better than Chad Henne.

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2011

    Dolphins Possibly Interested in Carson Palmer

    ​While the Dolphins brass continues to damn Chad Henne with the faintest of praise, the team appears to be looking for a real quarterback solution during the off-season. With the Dolphins having only the 15th pick in the draft, a rookie QB might not be the answer, so rumor has it they might turn t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2011

    Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL

    ​How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2010

    Bill Parcells: Dirty Dozen 2010

    ​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2010

    Bill Parcells Says He's Not Retiring, May Not Stay With Dolphins

    Just before the start of the season Dolphins vice president of football shocked fans by announcing he was handing over all of his duties to General Manager Jeff Ireland. While he still remains as a "consultant" to the Dolphins and his contract with the team runs through the 2011 season, comments he ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2010

    Jeff Ireland Assumes Control of Dolphins from Bill Parcells

    ​It's not quite "retirement" number four for the Big Tuna, but Bill Parcells took one step out the door of the Miami Dolphins' front office today. The team announced that the now-former VP of football will step down to a consultant position, while general manager Jeff Ireland will take total contr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2010

    Dolphins at Jaguars Tomorrow Night: What To Watch For

    ​If there were a word to describe the Dolphins first-team performance last week against the Buccaneers, that word would probably be ass. Dropped passes, bad quarterback play, and a crapload of offensive line penalties kept the Fins in a quagmire of shittiness. It didn't help that they had to play ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2010

    Trina Is Not Dating Dez Bryant, FYI

    via 2 The Point Music​Dez Bryant was on the receiving end of Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland's "was your mom a whore?" blunder. Trina, Miami's greatest lady rapper, has certainly been called things a lot worse than a whore. (She is not. She is a million-dollar girl. For sure.) However, despite recent rum ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2010

    Channing Crowder "Couldn't Give A Damn" About Pleasing Dolphins Fans

    via Deuce of DavenportGo choke on a poison apple, Crowder.With Joey Porter long gone Channing Crowder took the spot of the Dolphin's top trash talker. Now with Tedd Ginn Jr. out of the way (thankfully), The Sun-Sentinel's Omar Kelly seems worried that Crowder could also take the place of the fanbase ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2010

    Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

    Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2010

    Ireland Apologizes to Dez Bryant For Asking if His Mom Was a Hooker

    ​Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland is sorry for asking Dez Bryant whether or not his mom was a hooker. So sorry in fact he released a statement to the Miami Herald (which didn't even cover the outburst to begin with)."My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I'm considering ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2010

    NFL Draft Live-Blog, rounds 2 & 3

    ​Welcome back to our second night of NFL Draft Live-Blogging! Brought to you in 3D!* (*-not really, but everything else is in 3D, so why not). Tonight we'll roll through the second and third rounds, where the Dolphins hold the 40th and 73rd overall picks. Tonight's blog will be more Dolphins-cente ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 9, 2010

    Fate of Both Jacory Harris' Thumbs and Jason Taylor Still Up In the Air

    ​Before this ordeal, we had no idea how serious thumb surgery can be. Canes QB Jacory Harris went in for surgery on his opposing digits shortly after last season and still isn't able to throw a ball. However coach Randy Shannon says he should be doing what it is QBs do next month. There might even ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2008

    More Jake Longy Goodness

    Now that we have our first pick locked down, we can sit back, relax and analyze what we got in our man Jake Long. Never has game film for an offensive-lineman made me so excited. That's right. Excited. Boner city? Well, no, not quite. But excited nonetheless.

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2008

    Dolphins Axe Trent Green, Marty Booker and others

    The Dolphins have cut Trent Green, Marty Booker, LJ Shelton and Keith Traylor, among others today. They also cut Anthony Alabi, Anthony Bryant, Marion Dukes and Joe Toledo. Toledo -- the guy everyone thought was a Nick Saban draft day steal even though his knees were made of glass, gone. Shelton is ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2008

    Breaking News - The Tuna Fires Cam Cameron

    The Cam Cameron era is over. He and his talking penis have been fired. Bobby Knight and his friendship with Bill Parcells clearly wasn't enough to save Cam's ass from the inevitable. It's 1-15 and done. It's kinda sad, really. Like when a goldfish dies. You knew it was coming. And you sort of could ... More >>

  • More >>