Jeff Ireland

Stephen Ross Claims Tony Sparano "Damaged" the Miami Dolphins

What the hell exactly is a wrong with Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross? This is a guy who saw the public outrage over the Marlins stadium debacle, and almost immediately begins his own ill-timed campaign to seek public funds for a stadium upgrade. He's also apparently a guy who can't understand why an em ... More >>

Five Free Agents the Miami Dolphins Must Try to Sign

The NFL's free-agency period begins this Tuesday, March 12, and your Miami Dolphins -- with about $36 million in cap space -- are poised for one of the biggest offseasons in franchise history. Naturally, there's a good chance they'll fuck it up, but here are the five free agents the Dolphins should ... More >>

Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross Lies About Stadium Upgrades

Stephen Ross' Four Biggest Lies About Sun Life Stadium Renovations

On Monday, Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross shucked his $400 million plan to renovate Sun Life Stadium, the venue the city's NFL franchise has called home for the past 26 years. During a press conference showing off a bunch of nice rendering of how the stadium will look with 3,600 new seats closer ... More >>

Dolphins Throttle Jaguars 24-3 As Tannehill, Bush Thrive

Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!

Dolphins Fall to Niners 27-13

The Miami Dolphins have shown a knack all season for hanging with good teams only to vomit into their own pants when the game is on the line. It happened last week against the Patriots and it happened again yesterday against the 49ers as the Dolphins lost 27-13, despite being a field goal away from ... More >>

Titans Obliterate Dolphins 37-3 for Worst Home Loss Since 1968

So how good do you feel about Jeff Ireland and the Dolphins' talent level today?Two weeks after a convincing victory over a floundering Jets team, the Dolphins are 4-5 and facing "must win" scenarios for most of their remaining seven games in order to salvage the season after getting completely blow ... More >>

Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Titans

After two weeks on the road, the Dolphins are back home to face a 3-6 Titans team that ranks near the bottom of the NFL standings on both offense and defense and is a team mired in uncertainty about its future. Will our passing defense display the tenacity of a canned wet fart once again or can we g ... More >>

South Florida Web Awards: Meet Your News and Miami Blogging Nominees

To say the web ties worlds together seamlessly with invisible streams of data would be a gross understatement. So New Times is celebrating Miami's greatest with our first annual South Florida Web Awards. We've scoured online media from news, to arts and culture, to food and music, and Twitter and I ... More >>

Colts' Luck Sets Rookie Passing Record To Beat Dolphins 23-20

On Friday, we stressed that the Dolphins pass defense needed to show up on Sunday if the team had any hope of taking down the Colts. Clearly, Defensive Coordinator Kevin Coyle needs to start reading our posts along with his morning coffee because the Dolphins pass defense was absolute refried pig-pl ... More >>

UM's New Athletic Director: Who's Applying?

Florida Panthers Lay Off Their Mascot Due to NHL Lockout

Just as soon as it seemed the Florida Panthers had figured out how to not totally suck, the NHL is now in a lockout. Yes, the Panthers won their first divisional championship ever last year, and made it to the playoffs for the first time in 12 years, all with good ol' Stanley C. Panther cheering the ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Drinking Game: Drink the Pain Away

Sure, things might come together for the Miami Dolphins this year. Ryan Tannehill could quickly develop into a stud. Our offense may surprise. Joe Philbin might reveal himself as a true coaching genius in his first season. The team might make the playoffs. You might win the lottery. The polar ice ca ... More >>

Hard Knocks, Episode 2: Chad Johnson's Epic Groin-Kick to Dolphins Fans

Over the past decade, your Miami Dolphins have resembled a resident of Hiroshima that moved to Nagasaki during World War II to escape the likelihood of bombing. "It's probably much nicer and safer over there," your Dolphins say. Inevitably, they're pretty much screwed either way; it's always an emot ... More >>

Luke's Gospel: Miami Heat Is Way Ahead of Dolphins, Marlins

Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross Can Learn a Lot From Micky Arison

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up a powwow with Micky Arison and P ... More >>

For Miami Dolphins, Drafting Miami Hurricanes Is Too Little, Too Late

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives an F to the Miami Dolphins and the Miami Hurricanes underclassmen who left school for the NFL draft.As much I've put t ... More >>

Dolphins Have "Zero Intentions" of Bringing in Tim Tebow, Thank the Heavens

I'm starting to think that Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland is more incompetent than he is idiotic. If he was just plain stupid, he'd probably be hot in the chase of Tim Tebow right now, and, well, we told you how we feel about that yesterday. Thankfully, according to reports the Dolphins are g ... More >>

Peyton Manning Won't Be a Dolphin: So, Um, Who Is Available in the 2013 Draft?

​Peyton Manning has officially told the Miami Dolphins he won't be suiting up in aqua and orange next season. It's another embarrassing failure for owner Stephen Ross and GM Jeff Ireland, and there's even some suggestions that Manning only took the meeting with the Fins as a favor to Dan Marino. O ... More >>

Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino

​How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>

ESPN on Peyton Manning: "The Dolphins' Chances are Dwindling"

​Could Miami be too big of a market for Peyton Manning? ESPN's NFL Insider Adam Schefter, citing several "sources," says that the media frenzy that greeted Manning as he arrived in South Florida may have scared him off. Schefter suggests that like Jim Harbaugh and Jeff Fisher before him, Manning m ... More >>

The Chad Henne Era is Over for the Miami Dolphins

​The Miami Dolphins will have no more Chads hanging around next season. According to the Sun-Sentinel, the Dolphins are expected to part ways with quarterback Chad Henne officially next month. He now joins the long list of Dolphins QBs who've failed to live up to the legend of Dan Marino.

In Most Obvious Statement Ever, Jeff Ireland Says Dolphins Need a QB Upgrade

​In remarks to the media today, Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland said, "We need a quarterback that can get us over the hump." Though he praised Matt Moore's solid and reliable mediocrity, he said the Dolphins "have to do better."Ireland is clearly a man with a singular vision and deep k ... More >>

Jeff Fisher Picks Rams Over Dolphins

​After a diva-like and dramatic decision period that a so-so coach really didn't deserve, Jeff Fisher has decided he'll be the coach of the Los Angeles St. Louis Rams instead of the Miami Dolphinsnext season . This, of course, means the Dolphins' search for a new coach is basically back to sq ... More >>

Dolphins to Interview Jeff Fisher, Possibly Let Go of GM Jeff Ireland

With John Gruden and Bill Cowher expected to stay off the NFL sidelines for at least another season, that leaves Jeff Fisher as just about the only experienced and somewhat proven former head coach up for grabs this offseason, and the Dolphins are expected to interview the former Tennessee Titans co ... More >>

Dolphins Take Down Bills, Still In Last Place

​The Dolphins took down the Buffalo Bills 30-23 in a snowy Orchard Park yesterday. Reggie Bush ran for a career-high 203 yards. It was also their first win without Tony Sparano.With just two games left to play, the Fins victory brings their record to 5-9, putting the team on track for yet another ... More >>

Tony Sparano Fired; Defensive Backs Coach Todd Bowles Named Interim Coach

​Rumors were spiraling this morning that Tony Sparano's fate was sealed as head coach with the Miami Dolphins, but the team isn't taking any time to make it official. According to The Miami Herald, the team will officially announce his termination this afternoon. Defensive backs coach Todd Bowles ... More >>

Reader mail: Occupy Miami article is "lame"

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the Miami Dolphins should hire John Gruden as head coach.  The only way Miami Dolphins owner Stephen ... More >>

Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

Jason Taylor Returns to Miami Dolphins, Again

​Football's greatest on-again, off-again team-player love affair is officially back on. Jason Taylor is coming back to the Miami Dolphins for his third stint. The 36-year-old is expected to fill the team's need for a depth pass rusher. So does this mean he's officially the most popular guy on ... More >>

QB Matt Moore Signs Two-Year Deal With Dolphins

​Well, that didn't take long. According to the Oregonian, quarterback Matt Moore has signed a two-year deal with the Miami Dolphins. This pretty much ends any speculation that the Fins would sign a proven QB better than Chad Henne.

Dolphins Possibly Interested in Carson Palmer

​While the Dolphins brass continues to damn Chad Henne with the faintest of praise, the team appears to be looking for a real quarterback solution during the off-season. With the Dolphins having only the 15th pick in the draft, a rookie QB might not be the answer, so rumor has it they might turn t ... More >>

Cut from Jets, Jason Taylor Won't be Rejoining Dolphins

The strange and winding relationship between the Dolphins and Jason Taylor is, like any good romantic thriller, full of betrayal, back stabbing and reunions. Though, now that Taylor has been cut from the New York Jets (should have known better JT), it doesn't appear that there's chance at one final ... More >>

Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL

​How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>

Report: Bill Cowher Probably Won't Coach Dolphins Unless Ireland is Fired

Despite public votes of confidence, Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano's job is likely in danger. Though, if the Dolphins do fire Sparano they better make sure they bring in someone better to replace him. Looks like one of the leading buzzed about candidates isn't likely to want the job. A report from ... More >>

Randy Moss Didn't Want to Play for the Dolphins Anyway

For a while it seemed that the Miami Dolphins had a good shot at being the third team this season to claim the talents of Randy Moss. Then, decision day came around and the 'Fins didn't even put in a claim for the controversial, but talented receiver. They could have had him if they bothered to ... More >>

Bill Parcells Says He's Not Retiring, May Not Stay With Dolphins

Just before the start of the season Dolphins vice president of football shocked fans by announcing he was handing over all of his duties to General Manager Jeff Ireland. While he still remains as a "consultant" to the Dolphins and his contract with the team runs through the 2011 season, comments he ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview

TARGET ACQUIRED!​Are you ready for our completely meaningless and arbitrary predictions for the upcoming Dolphins season? Well this is it. The Riptide 2.0 Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview. Are you ready to get your ass blown off with some seriously capricious and utterly subjective prog ... More >>

Dolphins at Jaguars Tomorrow Night: What To Watch For

​If there were a word to describe the Dolphins first-team performance last week against the Buccaneers, that word would probably be ass. Dropped passes, bad quarterback play, and a crapload of offensive line penalties kept the Fins in a quagmire of shittiness. It didn't help that they had to play ... More >>

Trina Is Not Dating Dez Bryant, FYI

via 2 The Point Music​Dez Bryant was on the receiving end of Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland's "was your mom a whore?" blunder. Trina, Miami's greatest lady rapper, has certainly been called things a lot worse than a whore. (She is not. She is a million-dollar girl. For sure.) However, despite recent rum ... More >>

Channing Crowder "Couldn't Give A Damn" About Pleasing Dolphins Fans

via Deuce of DavenportGo choke on a poison apple, Crowder.With Joey Porter long gone Channing Crowder took the spot of the Dolphin's top trash talker. Now with Tedd Ginn Jr. out of the way (thankfully), The Sun-Sentinel's Omar Kelly seems worried that Crowder could also take the place of the fanbase ... More >>

Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

Ireland Apologizes to Dez Bryant For Asking if His Mom Was a Hooker

​Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland is sorry for asking Dez Bryant whether or not his mom was a hooker. So sorry in fact he released a statement to the Miami Herald (which didn't even cover the outburst to begin with)."My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I'm considering ... More >>

NFL Draft Live-Blog, rounds 2 & 3

​Welcome back to our second night of NFL Draft Live-Blogging! Brought to you in 3D!* (*-not really, but everything else is in 3D, so why not). Tonight we'll roll through the second and third rounds, where the Dolphins hold the 40th and 73rd overall picks. Tonight's blog will be more Dolphins-cente ... More >>

Zach Thomas Calls Out Dolphins for Disrespecting Jason Taylor

​Jason Taylor deserved better. Certainly better than having to join the Jets. Now his former teammate Zach Thomas, who spent 11 seasons with the Dolphins himself and is Taylor's brother-in-law, is calling out the front office for their shady and disrespectful handling of the situation."I'm not try ... More >>

Fate of Both Jacory Harris' Thumbs and Jason Taylor Still Up In the Air

​Before this ordeal, we had no idea how serious thumb surgery can be. Canes QB Jacory Harris went in for surgery on his opposing digits shortly after last season and still isn't able to throw a ball. However coach Randy Shannon says he should be doing what it is QBs do next month. There might even ... More >>

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