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Blogs
April 19, 2012
Burger King Food Truck to Roll Into Miami
In an attempt to claw its way back into the number two spot for U.S. fast food sales, Miami-based Burger King is trying a hell of a lot of stale innovative campaigns.For instance, a new campaign has stellar celebs Jay Leno, David Beckham, Salma Hayek, and the over-used Sofia Vergara in ads that tout ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Jessica Simpson's Slutty Brownies: Try Fat Bastards, Dirty Olives and Filthy Pickles!
Remember Nick and Jessica on MTV's Newlyweds? There were Jessica's questions such as, "Is this chicken, what I have or is it tuna?" referring to the label on a tuna can that read "Chicken of the Sea" or when she asked whether Buffalo wings were really wings from the buffalo? The show ended after ... More >>
Dining
November 10, 2011
El Vato Tequila & Taco Bar: Downtown taqueria offers fresh Mex snacks and top-shelf tequilas
View a slide show of El Vato.
Blogs
October 26, 2011
Barack Obama Needs to Lead or Get Out of the Way
I am so sick and tired of Barack Obama. How many of you saw him on Jay Leno last night, putting on his tired old shtick about how his wife is stronger and more in shape than he is, how his health advocate wife secretly loves French fries and pizza, and how the White House was going to get egged o ... More >>
Blogs
October 10, 2011
Das Racist Not Reduced to Sex Objects at Grand Central, October 9
See the full 30-photo Das Racist at Grand Central slideshow. Das Racist With Danny Brown and Despot Grand Central Miami Sunday, October 9, 2011 Better Than: The graveyard shift at a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. A Lot Better Than: Langerado. About a month ago, Langerado organizers a ... More >>
Blogs
October 4, 2011
Diddy Apologizes for "Ignorant" Comments and Five Other Funny Pop Star Apologies
All was well and good at an Atlanta nightclub this weekend until Sean "Diddy" Combs spotted some dude drinking Grey Goose at his Cîroc sponsored party. "Put that shit down," he yelled, "you in my house." Since 2007, Diddy's been moonlighting as a premium vodka spokesperson, pouring Cîroc do ... More >>
Blogs
September 9, 2011
Ten Best Boob Euphemisms in Music, Inspired by Dolly Parton's Massive Rack
Dolly Parton is a tiny lady with great big assets. She's got a giant voice, huge hair, plump lips, and -- don't pretend like you never noticed -- massive boobs! The Southern songstress has a certain kind of lightheartedness and sense of humor about most everything, including her gifts. She's kno ... More >>
Blogs
August 5, 2011
J-Lo, Florida's Chicken with Two Butts, is Dead
J-Lo, a chicken born in Florida with two-thirds of the butts of the Kardashian sisters (and maybe twice the brains) is dead. Though she may have been an extraordinary hen, her fate was typical for a chicken: two foxes jumped into her enclosure.
Blogs
December 29, 2010
Lewis Black Cancelled, Jay Leno to Perform at Hard Rock December 30
The Lewis Black Show scheduled for Thursday night at Hollywood's Hard Rock Live has been cancelled. The grinchy one is ill. That's the bad news.Or maybe it's the good news. Black will be replaced in the 8 p.m. show by Tonight Show veteran Jay Leno. Tickets for the show, which go for anywhere from ... More >>
Blogs
December 20, 2010
Famed Miami Tower Sells for $105.5 Million
How much does it cost to own the jewel of Downtown Miami's skyline? A cool $105.5 million. The Miami Tower (up until last year known as the Bank of America tower) is undoubtedly the signature of the skyline, and is now owned by I&G Miami LLC, a group backed my Chicago-based real estate invest ... More >>
Blogs
September 22, 2010
Justin Timberlake and Chris Bosh Bet on Lakers-Heat Christmas Game
Justin Timberlake made an appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno earlier this week to promote his new film Social Network. The conversation eventually turned to the NBA, where Timberlake proclaimed his beloved L.A. Lakers would pull off the Three-Peat this year. Leno then asked about how th ... More >>
Blogs
June 2, 2010
Los Tigres Del Norte Son, Rapper Mexia, Releases New Song Against Arizona Immigration Law SB1070
If I were Jay Leno, I might begin this post by saying, "Have you heard about this? Have you seen this?" Then I'd hold up a clipping of dejected Mexican-Americans protesting Arizona's SB 1070 bill. But I have neither his chin, nor his bankroll. And this really isn't a laughing matter. Besides ... More >>
News
May 13, 2010
How George Alan Rekers and his rent boy got busted by New Times
If I were Jay Leno, I might begin this post by saying, "Have you heard about this? Have you seen this?" Then I'd hold up a clipping of dejected Mexican-Americans protesting Arizona's SB 1070 bill. But I have neither his chin, nor his bankroll. And this really isn't a laughing matter. Besides ... More >>
Blogs
May 7, 2010
Around Town: ANR, MillionYoung, Dave Barry, Art Walk, and Yo' Mama
Chicken for dinner: Just a glimpse of the fare at this Sat's Art Walk. We don't know about all of you but we're exhausted from busting homophobic hypocrites and providing fodder for unfunnyman Jay Leno and funnyman Stephen Colbert. What have you accomplished this week? No matter. Everyone deserve ... More >>
Blogs
May 7, 2010
Jon Stewart Takes on Rekers' "European Gaycation" on The Daily Show
The George Rekers and the rent boy scandal is at once very, very sad but also very, very hilarious. Following the mixed results of Jay Leno and Stephen Colbert, last night Jon Stewart took on the scandal on The Daily Show in a segment titled "European Gaycation."In the clip below starting at abou ... More >>
Blogs
May 6, 2010
George Rekers Is a Homosexual, Escort Says
Photo by Brandon K. ThorpGeorge Rekers and "Lucien" at MIA.The male escort hired by anti-gay activist George Alan Rekers has told Miami New Times the Baptist minister is a homosexual who paid him to provide body rubs once a day in the nude, during their ten-day vacation in Europe. Rekers alleged ... More >>
Blogs
May 5, 2010
Jay Leno Tells Something Resembling a Joke About Dr. Rekers Rent Boy Scandal
While Jay Leno wasn't taking classless lowblows at Conan O'Brien during last night's monologue he found time to tell a "joke" about New Times' scoop on Dr. George Rekers.
Blogs
May 5, 2010
NARTH Responds to Rekers' Eurotrip With a Non-Response
George Alan RekersBy now, you've likely read about George Alan Rekers, the luxuriously mustachioed Christian fundie and co-founder of the Family Research Council, whom we caught coming home from Europe with a young male escort. Rekers claims his ill health necessitated hiring the boy as a luggage ... More >>
Blogs
May 4, 2010
Saturday Night Live Alum Victoria Jackson: Barack Obama is the New Fidel Castro
Jay Leno and other celebrities were at the White House this weekend for the correspondents' dinner, aka nerdprom. This is the event where the president and the press chummy it up and poke fun of each other for a couple of hours. Obama killed. Leno didn't.via shalfThat's where the White House went ... More >>
Blogs
April 19, 2010
Charlie Crist Chatter: He's Either Running Indie or Dropping Out
Will Charlie Crist buck the two-party system and run as an independent in the face of declining poll numbers against Marco Rubio? Everyone seems to think so. Speculation is so rampant that President Obama's press secretary, Robert Gibbs, was questioned about it this morning. (He sa ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2010
"Fidel" Supports Conan. The Guy Who's Really to Blame for NBC's Mess? Miami's Own Jeff Zucker
Man, it seems like everyone has an opinion on NBC's Conan O'Brien/Jay Leno disaster. Even, apparently, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.Just about every late night show has devoted most of its monologue to the situation, and O'Brien's tonight show is no different. Last night, among his many bits, Cona ... More >>
News
November 5, 2009
Lauderhill's Joel Waul cashes in on his record-setting rubber band ball
Man, it seems like everyone has an opinion on NBC's Conan O'Brien/Jay Leno disaster. Even, apparently, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.Just about every late night show has devoted most of its monologue to the situation, and O'Brien's tonight show is no different. Last night, among his many bits, Cona ... More >>
Calendar
October 15, 2009
Cardiac Comic
Man, it seems like everyone has an opinion on NBC's Conan O'Brien/Jay Leno disaster. Even, apparently, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.Just about every late night show has devoted most of its monologue to the situation, and O'Brien's tonight show is no different. Last night, among his many bits, Cona ... More >>
Blogs
October 13, 2009
Archive Diver: Alien Sex Fiend, BTO, Dizzy, Leo Casino, Iggy, Jay Leno, and Poison
via Miami New Times archives week of October 12 - 18, 1988 Alien Sex Fiend aka the Fucking Martians, ok we just made that up, were booked at Respectable Street Cafe in West Palm and the Cameo Theatre on Miami Beach back in 1988.The Miami New Times Concert Calendar from the week of October 12 - 18 ... More >>
Blogs
October 8, 2009
Local Comedy Crew on Last Call with Carson Daly
Jay Leno is in primetime. Dave Letterman got caught having a threesome with Grinder Girl and Hoola Hop Lady. Conan O'Brien keeps seriously injuring himself. Jimmy Fallon is Jimmy Fallon. So that means that Carson Daily is the new king of late night ...after Craig Ferguson, and various people o ... More >>
Blogs
September 15, 2009
CSI: Miami Season Premiere: The Origin of Horatio Caine's Sunglasses
CSI: Miami's producers have finally realized who the true star of the show is: Horatio Caine's sunglasses. In a perfect world, the sunglasses would talk (preferably voiced by Mo'Nique or Emo Philips), helping Horatio solve his cases, but they're doing the next best thing in the show's eighth se ... More >>
Calendar
December 25, 2008
Stand Up for Leno
Rather, you sit down while he stands up.
News
October 2, 2008
Invasion of the Amazon Women
Big girls, little guys, lots of fun.
Calendar
August 30, 2007
More “Bang!” for Your Buck
John Witherspoon is beyond hilarious
Music
April 5, 2007
The 5 Browns
John Witherspoon is beyond hilarious
Film
February 22, 2007
Fly Me to the Moon
Astronaut Farmer dares to dream
Home Entertainment
December 21, 2006
A True Horror Classic
DVD releases for the week of December 19, 2006
Film
October 12, 2006
Voter Fraud
Barry Levinson wags the dog again, but his bark is worse than his bite
Culture
August 3, 2006
Bursting Out of the Box
Performance artist Michael Israel soars to new heights
Film
February 10, 2005
Just One Hitch
Will Smith helps others find love, though probably not with this movie
Calendar
December 23, 2004
Night&Day
Will Smith helps others find love, though probably not with this movie
Film
July 8, 2004
Serenade in the Sand
Dromedaries bond over string music in a refreshing new docudrama
City Life
May 13, 2004
BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD
Shepard Smith
Film
December 11, 2003
Stuck in the Middling with You
The once-riotous brothers have become Farrelly mediocre
Film
October 24, 2002
The New Deal
Starting fresh, Jerry Seinfeld once again works hard for nothing
Culture
January 3, 2002
Rescue 9/11
This year, a handful of shows provided the healing power of laughter
Culture
August 30, 2001
Back to School
Judd Apatow's Freaks and Geeks grow up, more or less, and move to a dorm
News
August 2, 2001
Mo' Money, Mo' Trouble
It ain't easy being a millionaire businessman and a notorious thug
News
June 1, 2000
Rick ... or Red?
Could Rick Sanchez, Miami's most notorious journalistic windbag, actually be an agent of Fidel Castro?
News
December 31, 1998
News of the Weird
Could Rick Sanchez, Miami's most notorious journalistic windbag, actually be an agent of Fidel Castro?
Music
March 20, 1997
God Wept
Could Rick Sanchez, Miami's most notorious journalistic windbag, actually be an agent of Fidel Castro?
Dining
November 18, 1992
Barely Brazilian
Could Rick Sanchez, Miami's most notorious journalistic windbag, actually be an agent of Fidel Castro?
Dining
July 8, 1992
Don't Curry, Be Happy
Could Rick Sanchez, Miami's most notorious journalistic windbag, actually be an agent of Fidel Castro?
Music
April 1, 1992
Guitars R Us
They pick guitar as their instrument, and then they stick their necks out
Music
August 14, 1991
What Do Hell's All Dat Pounding?
They pick guitar as their instrument, and then they stick their necks out
More >>

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