Life sucks. There is a multitude of reasons why, and no one has come to terms with this inescapable truth better than juggalos. Zen masters of nihilism and partying, they have become unquestionable experts at finding creative ways to cope with the unrelenting pain of reality. Behind the fun-at-any- ... More >>
I've held off writing about Ann Coulter for a decade -- or about the length of time her average fan takes to read one of her books -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any attacks on the sport of soccer are downright un-American and offensive to the sacred American ideals of unherald ... More >>
Morrissey Adrienne Arsht Center, Miami Saturday, May 31, 2014 The Moz is beloved as the undisputed master of post-punk balladry, louche melodrama, and biting lyricism. But he's just as revered (and loathed) for his proclivity toward provocation on a great many subjects, including the consumption o ... More >>
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>
In an attempt to claw its way back into the number two spot for U.S. fast food sales, Miami-based Burger King is trying a hell of a lot of stale innovative campaigns.For instance, a new campaign has stellar celebs Jay Leno, David Beckham, Salma Hayek, and the over-used Sofia Vergara in ads that tout ... More >>
Remember Nick and Jessica on MTV's Newlyweds? There were Jessica's questions such as, "Is this chicken, what I have or is it tuna?" referring to the label on a tuna can that read "Chicken of the Sea" or when she asked whether Buffalo wings were really wings from the buffalo? The show ended after ... More >>
I am so sick and tired of Barack Obama. How many of you saw him on Jay Leno last night, putting on his tired old shtick about how his wife is stronger and more in shape than he is, how his health advocate wife secretly loves French fries and pizza, and how the White House was going to get egged o ... More >>
See the full 30-photo Das Racist at Grand Central slideshow. Das Racist With Danny Brown and Despot Grand Central Miami Sunday, October 9, 2011 Better Than: The graveyard shift at a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. A Lot Better Than: Langerado. About a month ago, Langerado organizers a ... More >>
All was well and good at an Atlanta nightclub this weekend until Sean "Diddy" Combs spotted some dude drinking Grey Goose at his Cîroc sponsored party. "Put that shit down," he yelled, "you in my house." Since 2007, Diddy's been moonlighting as a premium vodka spokesperson, pouring Cîroc do ... More >>
Dolly Parton is a tiny lady with great big assets. She's got a giant voice, huge hair, plump lips, and -- don't pretend like you never noticed -- massive boobs! The Southern songstress has a certain kind of lightheartedness and sense of humor about most everything, including her gifts. She's kno ... More >>
J-Lo, a chicken born in Florida with two-thirds of the butts of the Kardashian sisters (and maybe twice the brains) is dead. Though she may have been an extraordinary hen, her fate was typical for a chicken: two foxes jumped into her enclosure.
The Lewis Black Show scheduled for Thursday night at Hollywood's Hard Rock Live has been cancelled. The grinchy one is ill. That's the bad news.Or maybe it's the good news. Black will be replaced in the 8 p.m. show by Tonight Show veteran Jay Leno. Tickets for the show, which go for anywhere from ... More >>
How much does it cost to own the jewel of Downtown Miami's skyline? A cool $105.5 million. The Miami Tower (up until last year known as the Bank of America tower) is undoubtedly the signature of the skyline, and is now owned by I&G Miami LLC, a group backed my Chicago-based real estate invest ... More >>
Justin Timberlake made an appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno earlier this week to promote his new film Social Network. The conversation eventually turned to the NBA, where Timberlake proclaimed his beloved L.A. Lakers would pull off the Three-Peat this year. Leno then asked about how th ... More >>
If I were Jay Leno, I might begin this post by saying, "Have you heard about this? Have you seen this?" Then I'd hold up a clipping of dejected Mexican-Americans protesting Arizona's SB 1070 bill. But I have neither his chin, nor his bankroll. And this really isn't a laughing matter. Besides ... More >>
Chicken for dinner: Just a glimpse of the fare at this Sat's Art Walk. We don't know about all of you but we're exhausted from busting homophobic hypocrites and providing fodder for unfunnyman Jay Leno and funnyman Stephen Colbert. What have you accomplished this week? No matter. Everyone deserve ... More >>
The George Rekers and the rent boy scandal is at once very, very sad but also very, very hilarious. Following the mixed results of Jay Leno and Stephen Colbert, last night Jon Stewart took on the scandal on The Daily Show in a segment titled "European Gaycation."In the clip below starting at abou ... More >>
While Jay Leno wasn't taking classless lowblows at Conan O'Brien during last night's monologue he found time to tell a "joke" about New Times' scoop on Dr. George Rekers.
Jay Leno and other celebrities were at the White House this weekend for the correspondents' dinner, aka nerdprom. This is the event where the president and the press chummy it up and poke fun of each other for a couple of hours. Obama killed. Leno didn't.via shalfThat's where the White House went ... More >>
Will Charlie Crist buck the two-party system and run as an independent in the face of declining poll numbers against Marco Rubio? Everyone seems to think so. Speculation is so rampant that President Obama's press secretary, Robert Gibbs, was questioned about it this morning. (He sa ... More >>
Man, it seems like everyone has an opinion on NBC's Conan O'Brien/Jay Leno disaster. Even, apparently, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.Just about every late night show has devoted most of its monologue to the situation, and O'Brien's tonight show is no different. Last night, among his many bits, Cona ... More >>
via Miami New Times archives week of October 12 - 18, 1988 Alien Sex Fiend aka the Fucking Martians, ok we just made that up, were booked at Respectable Street Cafe in West Palm and the Cameo Theatre on Miami Beach back in 1988.The Miami New Times Concert Calendar from the week of October 12 - 18 ... More >>
Jay Leno is in primetime. Dave Letterman got caught having a threesome with Grinder Girl and Hoola Hop Lady. Conan O'Brien keeps seriously injuring himself. Jimmy Fallon is Jimmy Fallon. So that means that Carson Daily is the new king of late night ...after Craig Ferguson, and various people o ... More >>
CSI: Miami's producers have finally realized who the true star of the show is: Horatio Caine's sunglasses. In a perfect world, the sunglasses would talk (preferably voiced by Mo'Nique or Emo Philips), helping Horatio solve his cases, but they're doing the next best thing in the show's eighth se ... More >>
Rather, you sit down while he stands up.
Big girls, little guys, lots of fun.
John Witherspoon is beyond hilarious
Astronaut Farmer dares to dream
DVD releases for the week of December 19, 2006
Barry Levinson wags the dog again, but his bark is worse than his bite
Performance artist Michael Israel soars to new heights
Will Smith helps others find love, though probably not with this movie
Dromedaries bond over string music in a refreshing new docudrama
The once-riotous brothers have become Farrelly mediocre
This year, a handful of shows provided the healing power of laughter
Judd Apatow's Freaks and Geeks grow up, more or less, and move to a dorm
It ain't easy being a millionaire businessman and a notorious thug
Could Rick Sanchez, Miami's most notorious journalistic windbag, actually be an agent of Fidel Castro?
They pick guitar as their instrument, and then they stick their necks out