Jake Long

  • Blogs

    November 13, 2013

    Incognito-Martin: Real Leader Jake Long Wouldn't Have Allowed It

    So Richie Incognito bullied Jonathan Martin. Enough already. It never would have happened had Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland not let Pro Bowl left tackle Jake Long walk in the offseason. The void in leadership that Long's absence created became the monster of Incognito's bullying. Long was th ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 22, 2013
  • Blogs

    July 17, 2013

    Five Questions for the Miami Dolphins as They Head to Training Camp

    Be honest with yourselves, Dolphins fans: After watching two straight ticker-tape parades down Biscayne Boulevard by that other pro team in town, it's gotten harder and harder to get jazzed up for preseason Fins games that basically amount to flag football contests. But this is 2013, and for the fir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Five Players the Dolphins Should Take in Tonight's NFL Draft (and How They'll Screw It Up)

    With the NFL's annual tradition of wealthy, white-haired men selecting young, able-bodied (mostly) black men to perform physical endeavors for comparatively negligible pay aimed at aggrandizing the wealthy men's financial station, we're taking a look at who the Dolphins SHOULD pick -- and how they'l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    The Dolphins Are The Second Most Successful Drafters of the Past Five Years, According to One Analysis Anyway

    Stop bitching about the Dolphins drafting tactics, because according to one analysis, the team has been the second most successfully in the NFL over the past five years. Of course, looking at the Dolphins overall success over the past five years makes you wonder exactly how accurate the analysis is.

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Dolphins Shut Out By Patriots 28-0, Go 7-9 Again

    Sunday's action featured the incredible story of an extraordinary athlete's return from a horrific injury to come back against all odds, put his team on his back and lead that now playoff-bound team to victory just as the hero himself nearly broke one of the most coveted records in NFL lore. That wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus 49ers

    So it comes to this: your Miami Dolphins take that loooong west coast flight to face the 8-3 San Francisco 49ers. A few weeks ago this looked like a great matchup: a rising Dolphins team with playoff hopes facing the one-time object of our affection, Jim Harbaugh, and the team he turned us down for. ... More >>

  • News

    September 6, 2012
  • Blogs

    August 29, 2012

    Hard Knocks, Episode Four: The Dolphins' Personality Problem

    A funny thing is happening with this year's installment of Hard Knocks. Previous seasons focused on obvious, larger-than-life coaching personalities in Rex Ryan, Herm Edwards and Brian Billick, but the idea behind this year's inside look at the Dolphins was to cut out all that cute shit and pull bac ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 23, 2012
  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too

    ​The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Just When Chad Henne Finally Gets His Shit Together, the Fins D Gets Reamed

    TAWMMY BRADY IS FACKIN' GAWD!! LET'S GO SAWX!!​All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night's season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-pla ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2011

    Dolphins to Get Hammered Tonight: Check the Record

    ​The Dolphins home opener is tonight at Sun Life Stadium.Everybody in the world is talking about the keys to the game. Can Chad Henne pass? Can Reggie Bush run? Can that damn defensive line get to that damn pretty, what's his name...Brady?Well, forget about it. Brady has beat us the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 6, 2011

    NFL's List of Top 100 Players in 2011 Includes 3 Dolphins, 10 Former Hurricanes

    ​The NFL recently unveiled its list of the top 100 players for the 2011 season, and at least one football team in town is really, uncontrollably, super excited about it. No, it's not the one that actually plays in the NFL. The Dolphins placed three players on the list, but the Miami Hurr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

    Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2010

    Cameron Wake Named to His First Pro Bowl as a Starter

    The Kraken has been released!Just a few years removed from working a job in finance and watching football on the couch like the rest of us, Dolphins linebacker Cameron Wake has been named a starter for the 2010 NFL Pro Bowl.In a season mired in mediocrity for the Dolphins, Wake has been one of the f ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 9, 2010
  • Blogs

    November 19, 2010

    Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

    ​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2010

    Dolphins Capture First Win at Home, Get Slammed by the Injury Bug

    TILT! ... TILT! ... TIL* ... ​It took three quarterbacks to do it, but the Miami Dolphins were able to pull off the 29-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, earning the Fins their first home win of the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The entire starting roster is injured and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2010

    Bill Parcells Has Left The Building

    ​ESPN is reporting that Miami Dolphins football czar Bill Parcells has packed his bags and moved out of the Dolphins offices. The Dolphins, of course, knew that Parcells was on his way out. But it seems that no one anticipated it to be this soon. Because why would they? Reports out of Dolphins cam ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2010

    Canes Dominate, Dolphins Not So Much

    ​If Florida A&M's goal was to come out and get completely annihilated in the most humbling way imaginable, then mission accomplished because The U came out and crushed the Rattlers 45-0 last night. The defense recorded eight sacks, Jacory Harris tossed three touchdowns, Leonard Hankerson caugh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2010

    Dolphins' Yeremiah Bell Added to Pro Bowl

    It was looking for a while like no Dolphins players would be playing in their home stadium during this year's Pro Bowl. Offensive Tackle Jake Long was named to the original line-up but pulled out due to injury Thanks to yesterday's Colts win, safety Antoine Bethea will forgo the Pro Bowl for&nb ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 21, 2010
  • Blogs

    January 11, 2010

    Could a Dolphin-less Pro Bowl Mean Local Blackout? Maybe Seven Former Canes Could Help

    ​Since 1980, the Pro Bowl has been played in Hawaii, and because our 50th state doesn't have a team of its own, it's been a nice opportunity for locals to catch some NFL action, even if the players don't typically bring their best game. But this year's Pro Bowl will take place in Miami, with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2009

    News Roundup: Scoop That Poop, or Face the Police

    The same water filtration system that may or may not be linked to cases of Legionnaire's disease at the EPIC, has been found in three other condo buildings in Miami. [CBS4]Jackson Health System is teetering on the edge of a financial emergency. [Herald]Somebody is a math superstar: "Well if we avera ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2009

    Ricky Williams and His Amazing Feats of Ass-Kickery

    ​First things first: Ricky Williams is now officially the Ambassador of Fucking Your Shit Up and Knocking Fools' Dicks Into the Dirt after last night's brilliant 119-yard, three-touchdown performance. Many had their doubts about the Dolphins' ability to effectively run the ball without Ronnie Brow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 24, 2008

    Don't Be Afraid to Make Them Punt or Anything

    The Patriots punted once in the entire game during yesterday's 48-28 win over the Dolphins. Once. New England's offense totaled 530 yards -- the most the Dolphins defense has allowed since 1995. You could still catch brand new episodes of Seinfeld the last time the Dolphins allowed that many yards. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2008

    Dolphins Lose, Pennington Sucks

    Around the middle of the third quarter Sunday, nine Miami-Dade cops marched into my section at the Dolphins game and dragged off a vociferous Jets fan, who flashed the crowd a victory sign as he headed for the calaboose. That kinda said it all. Sunday's Dolphin game, which the team lost to the Jet ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2008

    Your Obligatory Dolphins Draft Grade

    It seems that the Dolphins scored a pretty nice draft grade across the board from various experts yesterday. For example, the Star-Telegram called the Chiefs and the Dolphins the biggest winners of the draft and awarded them each the highest grades of all the NFL teams. And CBS Sports gave the Fins ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2008

    More Jake Longy Goodness

    Now that we have our first pick locked down, we can sit back, relax and analyze what we got in our man Jake Long. Never has game film for an offensive-lineman made me so excited. That's right. Excited. Boner city? Well, no, not quite. But excited nonetheless.

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2008
  • Blogs

    April 1, 2008

    Picking First Sucks

    Bill Parcells confirmed with the New York Daily News last week that he is, in fact, willing to trade out of the first overall pick. We all would like him to do this for a number of reasons -- mainly to get more picks so he can have more flexibility to fix our numerous problems. Also, because there i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 26, 2008

    Combine Talk - I Like Gholston More Than Long. There I Said It.

    For the record: I think Chris Long is an exceptional defensive end. And I will be very pleased if Miami ends up drafting him. Howevah! I do think that Vernon Gholston is a better prospect. He's a more gifted athlete, more explosive and a more versatile player. His skills, to me, seem as if they wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2008

    Combine Talk: A Trade With Atlanta?

    Armando Salguero has a conference call with Mel Kiper posted on his blog. But that's not important. What is important is that he wrote about a rumor making the rounds in Indy that the Falcons are reportedly so in love with BC quarterback Matt Ryan that they might consider trading up to get him. They ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2008

    Let's Talk Free Agents: Offense

    Continuing our free agent talk from yesterday, we now turn to the offense: Offensive Line The Dolphins released LJ Shelton and Anthony Alabi this week. Which means they're definitely in the market for some beef. Some have said this makes it a sure thing that Parcells will draft Jake Long. Let's no ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2008

    Michigan Leaves the Gators Maize and Blue

    I was resigned to defeat. I was sure my alma mater, University of Michigan, would lose by 20 points or more to the fast, option-running Florida Gators. I was so sure of certain defeat that as 1 pm. approached New Year's day, I told my friend to hurry up so we could get to the bar and watch at least ... More >>